L
lynnehelen
Guest
Please dear Lord redeem me from the thing s I have done in my heart, in my mind, and to my body through vicious demons. After I went to the state hospital after an injury to my private area by a catheter in an icu after an overdose, I fell prey to a sick and serious masturbation habit which was prompted partly by physical need for relief. Years later I am over it and cry over the things I used to use to think of to help me achieve my purpose, which was to get physical and mental relief. But a feeling or a residue remains that leads me into error and into deep trouble. Perhaps this is at the root of the desperate things I have been experiencing since that time. I felt like a monster when I woke up from that overdose, and somewhere inside me that monster remains. I waver between faith and optimism, and paranoia and fear. I have a serious situation in my marriage/divorce, as I have expressed in other prayer requests. I trust in the Lord that my financial needs will be met according to his will. But I fear more pain and persecution and I can only believe it is because of the unrepented evil I did in my heart years ago. I have no confessor and would be too shocked to confess the things I thought and did in my heart and mind.
I will be seeing a new doctor today, a lady, after a bout with painful heart spasms that lasted 36 hours. There is more to this story that I cannot tell here. I am back at home at my husband’s house for the week and my son is on a religious retreat until tomorrow with his school, he is probably scared, but I have the house to myself which I need.
I need to reach that part of me where i still harbor those shameful feelings deep inside from years ago.
I recognize that through coming to terms with this I would grow in grace, it is what I need. Please pray for me.
I will be seeing a new doctor today, a lady, after a bout with painful heart spasms that lasted 36 hours. There is more to this story that I cannot tell here. I am back at home at my husband’s house for the week and my son is on a religious retreat until tomorrow with his school, he is probably scared, but I have the house to myself which I need.
I need to reach that part of me where i still harbor those shameful feelings deep inside from years ago.
I recognize that through coming to terms with this I would grow in grace, it is what I need. Please pray for me.
