Views

[His_angel]

But not using contraceptives is something i can’t agree with as I will not want children for quite a while, I’ll be going to university soon for one, until I’m in a permanent job and earning a decent wage etc will be when I would consider it and he thinks the same…

Then you probably shouldn’t marry right away. You can use Natural Family Planning / Fertility Awareness to avoid children for a time, and space them out, but kids are a part of marriage. Sex makes babies. Marry when you’re ready.

You should probably look into the different teachings of the Church with your boyfriend, and how they may affect you if you do marry.

 

[Cojuanco]

Then you probably shouldn’t marry right away. You can use Natural Family Planning / Fertility Awareness to avoid children for a time, and space them out, but kids are a part of marriage. Sex makes babies. Marry when you’re ready.

You should probably look into the different teachings of the Church with your boyfriend, and how they may affect you if you do marry.

Exactly. This is precisely why the Church heavily discourages mixed marriage. Catholics see marriage in a way that is often at odds with the rest of the culture, especially in Protestant cultures like the USA. I would point out the challenges, but others have already done so. But remember, whatever you think about it, the priest will probably ask about these things if you decide to mary the young man. It will be explicated to you in marriage prep. While as a non-Catholic you are not bound like your boyfriend is to the laws of the Church, things get hairy whem things like artificial birth control come up. While the Catholic party can’t force you to not use it when having relations per se, it’s hardly an ideal situation.

 

[CAROLOFTHEBELLS]

well, just to say, i don’t look at religion in the way most others do…i see it through science, in my mind the bible and religious stories are all explainable through science and that’s how i see it. Years ago it couldn’t be explained but now it can, im not like ‘it’s all stupid’ and ‘it’s fake’ and ‘it’s all made up’, i can see it happening, just, from a different perspective (which in my mind it the right one). I watch documentaries that talk about religion but from what i believe. I believe in ‘other beings’ (aliens) in different galaxies. And link it to ‘magical’ beings seen in the past that are named in the holy books. THAT’S how i see it all and is why i respect religion. But, to be honest, me and my boyfriend are actually in a 200 mile distance relationship. He’s the one thinking of proposing (his mother told me), and I actually think he is ‘the one’ for me there’s nothing i can see that objects to it. But not using contraceptives is something i can’t agree with as I will not want children for quite a while, I’ll be going to university soon for one, until I’m in a permanent job and earning a decent wage etc will be when I would consider it and he thinks the same…

I am a crade Catholic in my 50’s. When I was 18 and even a little older, I had theories or thoughts about life, God, and aliens that I have long since abandoned. I was very active in my parish. But, when you are young you are exploring thoughts about what it is all about.

Children believe in magical beings and aliens. You are still a child in both your age and your beliefs.

Your boyfriend is a romantic and still a child. The idea of proposing to a girl at a young age, who lives a great deal of distance away, and who may have different ideas about life is, indeed, romantic. It is romantic in the sense that it is not at all realistic. Not in the sense that he is your prince charming. It just won’t work. Not at this stage.

If your boyfriend asks, tell him that you are planning to go to university and can’t settle down yet. Chances are he’ll be relieved. You can still keep in contact. Even if he doesn’t ask, tell his mother if she brings it up again. Then forget about it and enjoy being young!

Don’t consider having sex with him if you continue a relationship because it will just deepen a relationship that has too much distance and uncertainty and make you sad not to be closer.

P.S. Documentaries are very misleading nowadays. Don’t trust them.

 

[JLRgirl]

I am a crade Catholic in my 50’s. When I was 18 and even a little older, I had theories or thoughts about life, God, and aliens that I have long since abandoned. I was very active in my parish. But, when you are young you are exploring thoughts about what it is all about.

Children believe in magical beings and aliens. You are still a child in both your age and your beliefs.

Your boyfriend is a romantic and still a child. The idea of proposing to a girl at a young age, who lives a great deal of distance away, and who may have different ideas about life is, indeed, romantic. It is romantic in the sense that it is not at all realistic. Not in the sense that he is your prince charming. It just won’t work. Not at this stage.

If your boyfriend asks, tell him that you are planning to go to university and can’t settle down yet. Chances are he’ll be relieved. You can still keep in contact. Even if he doesn’t ask, tell his mother if she brings it up again. Then forget about it and enjoy being young!

Don’t consider having sex with him if you continue a relationship because it will just deepen a relationship that has too much distance and uncertainty and make you sad not to be closer.

P.S. Documentaries are very misleading nowadays. Don’t trust them.

I am not a child and my thoughts and beliefs are who i am, I’m almost an adult ! i know what i find is true, i don’t have a child’s mind. I can quite easily make my life choices and what i want to believe in. I’ve already planned my future career wise. and by the way I’ll be moving to his area in a few months anyway so the distance is no problem. He doesn’t want kids either. just a thought…what if i used a contraceptive and not him ? would that affect him ? just a thought.

 

[Cojuanco]

I am not a child and my thoughts and beliefs are who i am, I’m almost an adult ! i know what i find is true, i don’t have a child’s mind. I can quite easily make my life choices and what i want to believe in. I’ve already planned my future career wise. and by the way I’ll be moving to his area in a few months anyway so the distance is no problem. He doesn’t want kids either. just a thought…what if i used a contraceptive and not him ? would that affect him ? just a thought.

Wait, you said the Catholic party in this relationship “doesn’t want kids either”. What do you mean by that. Does it mean that he would intend to frustrate, or encourage you to frustrate (by means of contraception, for instance) any attempts to conceive children, for the entirety of the marriage? Because if that attitude is manifest in either or both of you at the time of the wedding, the marriage would be potentially invalid, and honestly, no priest would witness your marriage. You could get married in a civil ceremony, but then that would still be invalid because your Catholic boyfriend is bound to marry in the Church unless dispensed, which is in your circumstances unlikely.

In the case where he doesn’t have that attitude, but you do, he would not, so long as he was urging you on occasion not to use ABC, and not in fact enabling your behavior in that regard, he himself would not be sinning. But you would still be sinning against him. And that would be most unfortunate.

 

[CAROLOFTHEBELLS]

Of course he doesn’t want kids. He is still a kid.

You said his mother told you he wants to purpose. What does she think of that? Is he still living with her? If not, is he able to support himself okay?

When you move, will you support yourself? Are you moving on campus?

Are your finances or his tied to parental contributions?

I know I can be really outspoken and direct, so you can look at this as rude if you want. You may not look at yourself as a child, but children believe in space aliens and magical beings. Just enjoy being a kid. These things may be who you are now, but they may change as you grow older.

I am not one for quoting doctine, etc., but I can tell you that a Catholic Christian boy most likely has a foundation of beliefs that are far different than what you expressed as you. Just basic stuff. He recites them in each Mass in our creed - even if he doesn’t fully understand them now, he will. I fear you both will not understand where the other is coming from.

 

[JLRgirl]

His mother was trying to get me to make him ask sooner so yeah…and he is still living with her but is also employed. I will be moving in with my family when i do and i have a job as soon as i move. And when i say aliens, i don’t mean ‘space aliens and magical beings’ ! I’m not a child ! I mean that the human race can’t possible be the ONLY living beings in the ENTIRE universe. There must be other planets in other galaxies that have developed like our own that hold another race, and to us, they are classed as ‘aliens’, or ‘unknown/unidentified beings’. And i can assure you now, what i believe in will never change because Its all understandable and reasonable to me and my family. Me and my farther have researched and discovered many things together.

 

[QNDNNDQDCE]

And i can assure you now, what i believe in will never change because Its all understandable and reasonable to me and my family. Me and my farther have researched and discovered many things together.

Do you think this is a very scientific thing to say?

 

[Rau]

His mother was trying to get me to make him ask sooner so yeah…and he is still living with her but is also employed. I will be moving in with my family when i do and i have a job as soon as i move. And when i say aliens, i don’t mean ‘space aliens and magical beings’ ! I’m not a child ! I mean that the human race can’t possible be the ONLY living beings in the ENTIRE universe. There must be other planets in other galaxies that have developed like our own that hold another race, and to us, they are classed as ‘aliens’, or ‘unknown/unidentified beings’. And i can assure you now, what i believe in will never change because Its all understandable and reasonable to me and my family. Me and my farther have researched and discovered many things together.

Have you assessed the travel time to other planets that might have intelligent life, in this galaxy let alone another. As interesting a possibility as said life may be, science dictates that the travel times render the existence of that life essentially irrelevant to our us.

 

[GPGT]

i dont believe in religion, i believe in science, thats what i mean by none religious…although i fully respect all religions, and would never try and force someone to follow my beliefs…it’s just how ive grown up

Science isn’t a religion. Science and spirituality have nothing to do with each other. The short answer to the original question is if I were him (and strong in my beliefs) I would not marry a non-Catholic unless it was agreed I would have the final word on all important decisions relating to the children and morals and whatnot. Wouldn’t be much of a marriage.

 

[CAROLOFTHEBELLS]

His mother was trying to get me to make him ask sooner so yeah…and he is still living with her but is also employed. I will be moving in with my family when i do and i have a job as soon as i move. And when i say aliens, i don’t mean ‘space aliens and magical beings’ ! I’m not a child ! I mean that the human race can’t possible be the ONLY living beings in the ENTIRE universe. There must be other planets in other galaxies that have developed like our own that hold another race, and to us, they are classed as ‘aliens’, or ‘unknown/unidentified beings’. And i can assure you now, what i believe in will never change because Its all understandable and reasonable to me and my family. Me and my farther have researched and discovered many things together.

I think you have your answer, then. You say you are fully grown and will never change who you are or what you believe.

Your boyfriend has his beliefs and they are just as much a part of him as you say your beliefs are a part of you. Your boyfriend and his parents have the same special bond around their beliefs as you and your father.

You are considering marrying a young man who is Catholic and, therefore, believes in the following. Read and see if you think you two will fit together. Keep in mind that he is not going to pick and choose from these beliefs or fit yours into his.

One God, the Father almighty, maker of heaven and earth, and of all things visable and invisable.

One Lord, Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of God, born of the Father before all ages, God from God, Light from Light, true God from true God, begotten not made, consubstantial with the Father; through Him ALL things were made. For us men and our salvation he came down from heaven, and by the power of the Holy Spirit he was incarnate of the Virgin Mary and became man.

For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate he suffered death and was buried and rose again on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures. He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead and his kingdom will have no end.

The Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life, who proceeds from the Father and the Son, who with the Father and the Son is adored and glorified, who has spoken through the prophets.
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One holy, catholic, apostolic Church. One Baptism for the forgiveness of sins. The resurrection of the dead and the life of the world to come.