Virginity and marriage.

[Lea101]

Not being judgmental, but you needed to read all three books to realize they were smutty?

I taught high school a number of years ago. The fantasy of changing the bad boy to good is dangerous.

Well that sounded judgmental

I knew they were ‘mommy porn’. I just wanted to see if it was really abuse bc feminists on social media made a huge deal about it, and some people were refuting it. So I read them to see who was right

And yes, I agree. I find myself being drawn to such trash sometimes too. Not smutty books, but the whole “bad boy and good girl” narrative is so prevalent in a lot of stories/movies/shows. I like stories about two best friends falling in love lol, so much sweeter

 

[LethalMouse]

t (as in, both of them were right)

This, this is my point about all the points people make

They are usually both right and wrong

 

[LethalMouse]

Well that sounded judgmental

I knew they were ‘mommy porn’. I just wanted to see if it was really abuse bc feminists on social media made a huge deal about it, and some people were refuting it. So I read them to see who was right

And yes, I agree. I find myself being drawn to such trash sometimes too. Not smutty books**, but the whole “bad boy and good girl” narrativ**e is so prevalent in a lot of stories/movies/shows. I like stories about two best friends falling in love lol, so much sweeter

I think some of this is also due to what good guys do.

When it was said that men were no longer allowed to be men, good guys to a degree “follow the rules”

The bad boys dont listen so they have “game” which is just that, game. However since women can no longer see a good guy “appear” manly they are drawn to game.

This is going to sound a bad example, but anyway I’ll annoy some people.

Some international secualr travelers note that in nations with low obesity rates getting “hot women” is easy easy.

In nations with high obesity since many “pretty girls” are out of the “hot” group, the supply and demand comes into play. In the military there is the Iraqi 10. The girl who is a “4” but becasue there are so few women deployed she becomes a “10” until they all get stateside.

Same happens in a sense with men. Since good men are not allowed to show you they are men, the only men you can see are the bad ones.

So what was once a great spartan warrior pretends not to be, while the street criminal pretends to be the spartan warrior. You only see and date the latter all too often

 

[SilverShadow22]

I think one has to look at the rational behind the man wanting a prospective wife be a virgin before deciding whether such reason is reasonable or not. Man is himself a virgin and doesn’t want any possibility of someone with an STD coming in to the marriage? reasonable. Man wants a “trophy” virgin… unreasonable. Man feels he “deserves” a virgin because he is chaste? Unreasonable. People are not commodities. Man wants a virgin so that they can enjoy conjugal relations together as beginners? Reasonable. Man wants a virgin because he feels entitled? Unreasonable. Man is jealous of previous serious boyfriends? Unreasonable. Man is insecure about whether his prowess will match another’s and doesn’t want a comparison by his bride?

Virginity is ideal but not required for marriage. Marriage requires that the couple practice faithful monogamy from the time of the vows forward.

A person can make up his/her own requirements in a prospective spouse, but those requirements must not be more important than the person. E.G. I can refuse to marry someone with at least a million dollars but I cannot marry someone for the sake of a million dollars.

I think this admirably expresses how something can at once be an ideal but not a requirement.

 

[Xantippe]

I think some of this is also due to what good guys do.

When it was said that men were no longer allowed to be men, good guys to a degree “follow the rules”

The bad boys dont listen so they have “game” which is just that, game. However since women can no longer see a good guy “appear” manly they are drawn to game.

This is going to sound a bad example, but anyway I’ll annoy some people.

Some international secualr travelers note that in nations with low obesity rates getting “hot women” is easy easy.

In nations with high obesity since many “pretty girls” are out of the “hot” group, the supply and demand comes into play. In the military there is the Iraqi 10. The girl who is a “4” but becasue there are so few women deployed she becomes a “10” until they all get stateside.

Same happens in a sense with men. Since good men are not allowed to show you they are men, the only men you can see are the bad ones.

So what was once a great spartan warrior pretends not to be, while the street criminal pretends to be the spartan warrior. You only see and date the latter all too often :(

I have literally never dated nor wanted to date a “street criminal.”

I can only think of one person I know who has ever dated a “street criminal” and I don’t think she initially knew that about him. He was a fugitive from justice, but had been from a “good” family, was Jewish, and was, if anything, probably a bit on the nerdy side. I believe that when my relative met him, he was pretending to be a photographer and was hanging around my relative’s college. I never met him, but I’ve seen his photos, and he wasn’t some sort of muscle-bound he-man.

That was the guy who burned my relative on a stove, as well as doing lots of other bad stuff (my relative has permanent brain damage). The guy is in prison now for an unrelated murder.

But no, actual street criminals have at most a niche appeal.

 

[LethalMouse]

I have literally never dated nor wanted to date a “street criminal.”

I can only think of one person I know who has ever dated a “street criminal” and I don’t think she initially knew that about him. He was a fugitive from justice, but had been from a “good” family, was Jewish, and was, if anything, probably a bit on the nerdy side. I believe that when my relative met him, he was pretending to be a photographer and was hanging around my relative’s college. I never met him, but I’ve seen his photos, and he wasn’t some sort of muscle-bound he-man.

That was the guy who burned my relative on a stove, as well as doing lots of other bad stuff (my relative has permanent brain damage). The guy is in prison now for an unrelated murder.

But no, actual street criminals have at most a niche appeal.

You do have an obsession with delegitamizing people via obvious out if context assault don’t you??

So we understand that “Spartan Warrior” is used as a descriptor and not an actual vocation…

But the use of “Street Criminal” needs be specific and literal???

Lol whatever makes you feel good about brushing someone off.

Clearly it has the same meaning to anyone who does not have a vested psychological interest is falsely detracting a post.

 

[Xantippe]

For the record, I think men are usually in a very poor position to figure out what women find attractive.

I’m not even going to speak for all women, but here’s what I have found attractive over the years:

7th grade-high school–an Italian kid with beautiful dark wavy boy band hair and dreamy blue eyes

college–a short, skinny, smart, very intense Russian Jewish film student with (again) wavy dark hair

gradschool-present–tall skinny Polish guy (some Jewish ancestry) with those Slavic cheek bones and blue eyes (husband has recently been compared to Daniel Craig, who is a very Slavic looking guy), also very intense, VERY smart

I’ve liked tall guys and short guys, but it looks like my type is “ethnic”–all my crushes have had biggish ethnic noses. (I’m an ethnically WASP/Scandi girl.) And (at least since college) intellectual and highly verbal…

I don’t really get crushes as a married lady, but purely aesthetically, I find that the “dad” type is very appealing to me these days.

The stereotypically masculine muscle-y, square-jawed action movie star guy who communicates in monosyllables and bullets just isn’t my thing and never has been.

 

[LethalMouse]

@Xantippe

So Daniel Craig who is an action movie star and dad.

So you seperate the two kater, but what you basically want/ have is James Bond meets Mister Cleaver

But don’t you understand that is the point? James Bond if he is the Jesus like good guy IS both James Bond and Mr. Cleaver.

I don’t know why this is so hard to get???

My issue is though here you sit with everything I say and you tell everyone it is not good and they shouldn’t want it

You are like someone with a great fishing area, you just want all goodness for yourself.

 

[Xantippe]

Yeah, I am currently lonely, definitely furious (you would be too if you learned that you had been sold a bill of goods), and was always awkward, thankfully, the Red Pill focuses on overcoming that. **The movement as a whole has a skeptical view of Western marriage for good reason. ** Your other claims are simply ludicrous and not supported by the evidence.

As somebody else has asked, what is that bill of goods?

And who sold it to you?

I suspect whatever the bill of goods is, you didn’t find it in a Catechism.

What is your ideal marriage? From what I’ve seen of Red Pill guys, it means some version of the following:

–wife as sexbot
–wife does everything she’s told to do, even when the things are logically contradictory and/or physically impossible
–wife has no needs
–wife has no legal rights
–kids have no needs
–kids have no legal rights
–husband never has to answer to any higher outside authority–he can do as he pleases with his wife and children

So, a very porn-y, selfish vision of marriage and family.

That has never existed as a functional system really anywhere that I can think of (if you look at the Old Testament, you’ll notice that even the slave wife has legal rights).

 

[LethalMouse]

Basically you have said in posts you are wealthy ish, all kids in private school and sending theough college no loans.

You are “happily married”

A SAHM as her kids age getting ready to go back to work to have a little extra money and out of the house time

With James Bond Ward Cleaver husband

And you tell women not to want any of this???

You tell men not to want any of this???

WTH!!!:banghead::banghead::banghead:

the jackie chan frustrated meme didn’t work

 

[BlueEyedLady]

How exactly does one identify a “figurative street criminal”?

 

[Sarcelle]

Basically you have said in posts you are wealthy ish, all kids in private school and sending theough college no loans.

You are “happily married”

A SAHM as her kids age getting ready to go back to work to have a little extra money and out of the house time

With James Bond Ward Cleaver husband

And you tell women not to want any of this???

You tell men not to want any of this???

WTH!!!:banghead::banghead::banghead:

the jackie chan frustrated meme didn’t work

If I recall correctly, Xantippe’s oldest child is only 13.

I doubt she is sending any of her kids to college as of now.

Maybe you had in mind another poster?

 

[BlueEyedLady]

If I recall correctly, Xantippe’s oldest child is only 13.

I doubt she is sending any of her kids to college as of now.

Maybe you had in mind another poster?

I’ve never gotten the idea that Xan doesn’t want people to get married.

Now, I’ve said several times that fewer people should be getting married. Between the divorce rate, rampant infidelity, spousal abuse, porn, etc it seems that few people these days have the maturity or even real desire to get married and honor their spouse and their vows.

 

[LethalMouse]

How exactly does one identify a “figurative street criminal”?

Can you identify the figuratice “spartan warrior”???

If you can then you know and are being malicious.

If you can’t identify either you would have said so to both at first

Nice try though.

 

[LethalMouse]

If I recall correctly, Xantippe’s oldest child is only 13.

I doubt she is sending any of her kids to college as of now.

Maybe you had in mind another poster?

No not they are going now at this moment, but her plans and designs. If you are wealthy enough to put all kids through private school and ensure they (more than 2) will have ample college funds by the time they are ready, you are typically in atleast what??? The top 25 ish % ??

Also how is even one tiny fact about college pulled fron the overall point relevant even if it were true?

Oh that is right, that is all some can do, extract a single tiny detail and pretend the rest of wha5 was said doesnt exist

 

[BlueEyedLady]

Can you identify the figuratice “spartan warrior”???

If you can then you know and are being malicious.

If you can’t identify either you would have said so to both at first

Nice try though.

It’s a really irresponsible and nonsensical comparison that really only hurts your “argument”. Spartan warriors are only figurative in 2016 America. Street criminals, on the other hand, are quite common.

 

[LethalMouse]

I’ve never gotten the idea that Xan doesn’t want people to get married.

Now, I’ve said several times that fewer people should be getting married. Between the divorce rate, rampant infidelity, spousal abuse, porn, etc it seems that few people these days have the maturity or even real desire to get married and honor their spouse and their vows.

She advocates the marriage that leads to divorce while she lives a Norman Rockwell life…

(In terms of pristine imagery, idk anything about how the man lived lol)

 

[BlueEyedLady]

She advocates the marriage that leads to divorce while she lives a Norman Rockwell life…

(In terms of pristine imagery, idk anything about how the man lived lol)

She and her husband pretty much check every divorce mitigation box. They are both educated, share the same faith, have a UMC income, have a financial plan, etc. She’s not exactly an 18 year old in a shotgun marriage to a high school dropout.

 

[LethalMouse]

She and her husband pretty much check every divorce mitigation box. They are both educated, share the same faith, have a UMC income, have a financial plan, etc. She’s not exactly an 18 year old in a shotgun marriage to a high school dropout.

Why is it alwags that??

I say “trraditional” and “ideal” looks more or less on paper like Xantippe.

You angry ladies say that anything that resembles that is in fact 18yrold dropouts and a man with mental disorders…

 

[LethalMouse]

My exwife said she would not do stuff for me bc… well idk, she was kicked out of the military for mental issues lol.

But anyway she did everything she said she wouldn’t.

I asked her once why the big “foot down” if she keeps doing stuff.

She said “I like doing stuff, but I dont want you to dare want anything or expect anything from me ever”

Sound disordered??

And that is basically what a bunch of you keep saying.

In fact another great example from her and thanks to the warped view that gets stuck in some womens heads due to feminist brainwashing.

My exwife had a dream to sew and make dresses from home. When first married I was unsure we could afford it as she would maybe need to work for a bit.

Her fall back was a professional field with a degree she had from military. So I got her phone calls etc and did more legwork to help her in that way than she did.

In between all this I ran the numbers and our plans and I told her (thinking I was going to be hero status lol) that and key here “IF you want we can afford the dress making thing at least for a while so you can try it”

Seriously I just said we could afford her dream… but alas I am a man do how dare I.

I was given this in return “Why do YOU WANT me to do that??? So I am stuck at home!!!”

Ummm what?? It is your freaking dream nutcase! And I did more work to get you and out of the house job than you did soooo WHAT!?!??!

But honestly that is kind of how you 3 tend to sound