Virginity question

[peter_r]

I have at least 3 young single female friends looking for a man like you. Keep the morals and prayer and God will lead you in your life. It usually happens when you least expect it and sometime just before you decide to give up.

 

[BLB_Oregon]

JDS2oo6:

I’m a 20 yr old male who loves Jesus Christ, family, friends, and life in general.
…
The way I look at it is if someone has participated in those types of things before her and I got married, that’s selfish of her (and immoral and dirty IMHO). I’d also like to find a woman who I can marry and honestly tell our children that she lived the good life and did not let herself be defiled…she waited for me.

Your pursuit of sexual purity is laudable, but your tone worries me. The devil these days (and perhaps always) can afford to cede you your sexual purity if he can trap you on the greater sin of spiritual pride. You know the story of Jesus and the woman caught in the act of adultery. After he had fended off the condemnation of others, he told her, “Then neither do I condemn you. Now go, and avoid this sin.” Better to extol the beauty of chastity than to condemn those who sin as being ugly.

If spiritual pride separates your “virtue” from the love that it should be serving, it will render your witness of that virtue almost null and void. Who will want a virtue if it seems only to make the person who seems to have it talk and act as if they are better than everyone else? Might I suggest that you consecrate your pursuit of purity to the intention of that more others might receive the graces that have been lavished upon you? Consider the sins of the impure with tears, not disdain. And when you meet someone who has fallen, give them loving encouragement to do better. Condemn only their sin… let them know that a better life awaits them.

I tell you this because you, dear one, are called to be chaste, but not only chaste. You are called to be a saint. May you find a spouse who will be nothing but a helpmate in that.

 

[OriginalJS]

I think you are seeking reassurance for your efforts to avoid the powerful, social incentives to engage in various forms of sex outside of marriage. Sneerers and cynics are ready to tell you that you are a hopeless case, that everybody does it, and so on. You see so much promiscuity around you that you begin to doubt yourself.

Don’t. You are on the right track. I know couples who have deferred all sexual contact until marriage. Adult female virgins do exist, notwithstanding a lot of secular hoopla to the contrary.

Persevere!

 

[E.E.N.S]

BLB_Oregon:

Your pursuit of sexual purity is laudable, but your tone worries me. The devil these days (and perhaps always) can afford to cede you your sexual purity if he can trap you on the greater sin of spiritual pride. You know the story of Jesus and the woman caught in the act of adultery. After he had fended off the condemnation of others, he told her, “Then neither do I condemn you. Now go, and avoid this sin.” Better to extol the beauty of chastity than to condemn those who sin as being ugly.

If spiritual pride separates your “virtue” from the love that it should be serving, it will render your witness of that virtue almost null and void. Who will want a virtue if it seems only to make the person who seems to have it talk and act as if they are better than everyone else? Might I suggest that you consecrate your pursuit of purity to the intention of that more others might receive the graces that have been lavished upon you? Consider the sins of the impure with tears, not disdain. And when you meet someone who has fallen, give them loving encouragement to do better. Condemn only their sin… let them know that a better life awaits them.

I tell you this because you, dear one, are called to be chaste, but not only chaste. You are called to be a saint. May you find a spouse who will be nothing but a helpmate in that.

Amen!

 

[madavis]

Hey man, I have the same standards… Who wouldn’t want a girl that has made the same special commitment that you have?

Although, if a girl has turned her life around and does not engage in sex anymore, then I would be open to dating her. The “like-minded virgin” would be preferrable, but you don’t want to turn somebody away just because of their past. We all have things we regret in our past.

 

[bear06]

As always, you should pray for God’s will to be done. This is not always what we will for us. This is important to remember. It might be wise to pray for your future spouse to be preserved from tempation and harm in all areas but you could be passing on the spouse God has in mind for you.

Unless there’s some medical, financial, children resulting or some reason it might be brought up, I think someone’s past is their past. Do people really go asking about someone’s past sexual history of does the “doer of the deeds” feel the need to confess?

I had the same standards as you but I’m thankful I was just searching for God’s will in my life. He sent me someone with a big “youthful indescretion” (one that was married into his extended family) who durling the last 14 years and 6 kids is one of the holiest husbands and fathers I know. If I had passed him up for this mistake, I would have definitely missed out on God’s will for a happy and holy family.

 

[Tradcat89]

First let me say,** WAY TO GO!!!** I am a litte younger than yourself and I know how tough it is. But keep your standards high. I am glad to see other young people with such standards because they aren’t easily found. Your principles aren’t to high…you just keep them up there and a girl ten times above and beyond your dreams will come along. I’ll pray for you and the right girl.