R
ReggieofChutney
Guest
Thanks to everyone for the great threads about visits from cohabitating relatives. I have a slightly different wrinkle.
My 78-year-old nominally Lutheran paternal grandfather was widowed about six years ago after a nearly 50-year marriage to my grandmother. Several years after my grandmother’s death, he took up with–and eventually brought into his home–one of the hospice nurses who cared for my grandmother during her final years. I believe his girlfriend is a fallen-away Catholic in her early 60’s. Their unfortunate choice regarding cohabitation aside, they are both lovely, caring people. My wife, children, and I always enjoy their company.
My grandfather lives about 1,300 miles away and I rarely see him. Over the years I have invited him to visit multiple times, during which he has either left his girlfriend behind and stayed at our home or brought her and stayed with other family.
He is recovering from significant surgery and while his prognosis is good, age and genetics suggest we will not long enjoy earthly fellowship. We are expecting our fourth child and he has indicated he would like to visit with his girlfriend. We recently relocated to a city about 800 miles from any family, so visitors are cherished. This also means accommodation options are very straightforward: a hotel or our home.
In our desire to avoid being accessories to sin, my wife and I (and by that I mean me, although she is absolutely 50% of the decision-making) will offer him two options: separate bedrooms at our house or a hotel. I intend to use this as a teaching moment for the kids–we love Great Grandpa and his girlfriend as our brother and sister in Christ, but they are making a poor choice by living together outside of marriage.
My challenge is how best to address this issue with him. My intellect tells me to keep it simple. We love you both and you are welcome in our home as a dear family member and friend. However, we will provide you separate bedrooms and expect you to honor our understanding that God reserved the intimacy of sharing a bed for marriage. I think if I go, or get dragged into, detail, things will not go well. I have every reason to assume he will not subscribe to the notions of scandal, the procreative and unitive aspects of marriage (which may be an interesting discussion anyway given their ages), etc. My father converted to Catholicism in his early twenties and it is clear my grandfather has never been fully at peace with that decision.
I appreciate any thoughts or suggestions rooted in Truth and Charity. Thank you in advance and God bless you.
My 78-year-old nominally Lutheran paternal grandfather was widowed about six years ago after a nearly 50-year marriage to my grandmother. Several years after my grandmother’s death, he took up with–and eventually brought into his home–one of the hospice nurses who cared for my grandmother during her final years. I believe his girlfriend is a fallen-away Catholic in her early 60’s. Their unfortunate choice regarding cohabitation aside, they are both lovely, caring people. My wife, children, and I always enjoy their company.
My grandfather lives about 1,300 miles away and I rarely see him. Over the years I have invited him to visit multiple times, during which he has either left his girlfriend behind and stayed at our home or brought her and stayed with other family.
He is recovering from significant surgery and while his prognosis is good, age and genetics suggest we will not long enjoy earthly fellowship. We are expecting our fourth child and he has indicated he would like to visit with his girlfriend. We recently relocated to a city about 800 miles from any family, so visitors are cherished. This also means accommodation options are very straightforward: a hotel or our home.
In our desire to avoid being accessories to sin, my wife and I (and by that I mean me, although she is absolutely 50% of the decision-making) will offer him two options: separate bedrooms at our house or a hotel. I intend to use this as a teaching moment for the kids–we love Great Grandpa and his girlfriend as our brother and sister in Christ, but they are making a poor choice by living together outside of marriage.
My challenge is how best to address this issue with him. My intellect tells me to keep it simple. We love you both and you are welcome in our home as a dear family member and friend. However, we will provide you separate bedrooms and expect you to honor our understanding that God reserved the intimacy of sharing a bed for marriage. I think if I go, or get dragged into, detail, things will not go well. I have every reason to assume he will not subscribe to the notions of scandal, the procreative and unitive aspects of marriage (which may be an interesting discussion anyway given their ages), etc. My father converted to Catholicism in his early twenties and it is clear my grandfather has never been fully at peace with that decision.
I appreciate any thoughts or suggestions rooted in Truth and Charity. Thank you in advance and God bless you.
