Vocations and parental role/What are you doing or not doing?

  • Thread starter Thread starter contemplative
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
40.png
Lilyofthevalley:
That’s fine I am happy what you are doing is working for you, however some parents may want to parent their children differently than you parent yours.
Click to expand...
Hey I certainly understand that, and by no means are my children perfect. They just happen to behave during mass because we won’t accept anything less. Also keep in mind starting bad habits is hard to break when they get older. If we felt the need to keep the kids occupied during mass that’s what the cry room is for, they can have little toys or snacks in there and it doesn’t disturb the people around us. I find it very distracting when a child has food or toys in church and it distracts my children from doing what they need to be doing during mass, such as praying. Just a thought. God bless
 
40.png
Ana:
I LOVED playing Mass when I was little, my cousins and I would use pickle slices and grape juice. We even had a little bell to ring at consecration! This is one of my most cherished childhood memories. I shared this with our parish Priest and he shared how he used to do the same thing, only he didn’t use pickle slices. My children break up a pecan roll and use that. I think it is very cute, and also beneficial. I certainly don’t mind that there is room in thier play for imitating those things that have an impact on them.

Do you also think it would be unwise for a little girl to play Mommy, or does it degrade the sanctity of motherhood?
Click to expand...
Comparing how a little girl plays mommy with her dolls to children playing priests with pickle slices is like comparing apples and oranges.

I am not a child psychologist and I don’t think any studies have been conducted on children playing with Mass kits.

I will say that Fisher Price Toys and Hasbro haven’t come out with a priest kit for children yet. If and when they do I’d like to imagine that the Vatican would weigh in with a condemnation. I hardly imagine Pope Benedict condoning such a toy for children.
 
40.png
Shari:
I discribed the kit a couple post up, but the address to our fathers house is www.ourfathershouse.biz Lots of nice things there.
Click to expand...
Ok!
This looks like a nice item to have at home to guide children through understanding the Mass more clearly and at their level of understanding. Wow! This is good.
I wouldn’t leave the kids unattended with it. I think it is devised strictly for learning.
http://ourfathershouse.biz/shopsite_sc/store/html/media/Mass Kit.jpgMiniature Mass Kit for Children
$54.00
A must for every Catholic home and classroom. Use for altar boy training, or First Communion preparation. For children ages 3-12. Kit includes
lesson plan and activity sheets
brass chalice
brass paten
brass crucifix
brass and glass sanctuary light
brass snuffer
brass set of bells
(matchbox has been discontinued)
brass match basket/tray
brass censer
glass cruets (pair)
glass finger bowl
glass votives and candles (pair)
brass incense boat w/spoon
incense grains and instant lighting charcoal
patterns for making a wooden altar
 
During the Christmas season when my children were very young I always kept two different Nativity sets out. There was the breakable set which I handpainted and there was a plastic set which I allowed my children to respectfully touch and move around.
 
40.png
contemplative:
During the Christmas season when my children were very young I always kept two different Nativity sets out. There was the breakable set which I handpainted and there was a plastic set which I allowed my children to respectfully touch and move around.
Click to expand...
Thats one of the games you can play. After all the 3 wise men should not be at the manger until Christmas day, or really not until Epiphany.

So you can let your children move the camels with the 3 wise men closer each day.
 
40.png
contemplative:
Ok!
This looks like a nice item to have at home to guide children through understanding the Mass more clearly and at their level of understanding. Wow! This is good.
I wouldn’t leave the kids unattended with it. I think it is devised strictly for learning.
http://ourfathershouse.biz/shopsite_sc/store/html/media/Mass Kit.jpgMiniature Mass Kit for Children
$54.00
A must for every Catholic home and classroom. Use for altar boy training, or First Communion preparation. For children ages 3-12. Kit includes
lesson plan and activity sheets
brass chalice
brass paten
brass crucifix
brass and glass sanctuary light
brass snuffer
brass set of bells
(matchbox has been discontinued)
brass match basket/tray
brass censer
glass cruets (pair)
glass finger bowl
glass votives and candles (pair)
brass incense boat w/spoon
incense grains and instant lighting charcoal
patterns for making a wooden altar
Click to expand...
You are absolutely right, we never let them use it by themselves, we don’t really consider it a toy. It is made in India and made of real brass. For us it is just that a learning item. And there is always an adult playing mass with them. We like it because the boys really enjoy see how important the priest is. We don’t have the full kit, just the parts I mentioned. But my mother-inlaw wants to get more peices for the kid’s birthdays other gifts. Glad you like it.
 
40.png
Shari:
You are absolutely right, we never let them use it by themselves, we don’t really consider it a toy. It is made in India and made of real brass. For us it is just that a learning item. And there is always an adult playing mass with them. We like it because the boys really enjoy see how important the priest is. We don’t have the full kit, just the parts I mentioned. But my mother-inlaw wants to get more peices for the kid’s birthdays other gifts. Glad you like it.
Click to expand...
I like it so much that I would like to purchase it for my Godson. He is just 3 but I am sure his parents will keep it and use it when the time is right.
 
40.png
Shari:
You are absolutely right, we never let them use it by themselves, we don’t really consider it a toy. It is made in India and made of real brass. For us it is just that a learning item. And there is always an adult playing mass with them. We like it because the boys really enjoy see how important the priest is. We don’t have the full kit, just the parts I mentioned. But my mother-inlaw wants to get more peices for the kid’s birthdays other gifts. Glad you like it.
Click to expand...
Shari,
I LOVE the Mass Kit!!! I never knew such a thing existed. I’m going to look into getting one for my First Communion class.
 
40.png
contemplative:
I like it so much that I would like to purchase it for my Godson. He is just 3 but I am sure his parents will keep it and use it when the time is right.
Click to expand...
I ordered the Mass kit and miniature linen set for my 3 year old Godson. I can’t wait to see this. My Godson’s mother is very happy too. 😃
 
I pray every day that my kids will be open to God’s will in their lives and they’ll have the grace to say ‘yes’ to whatever God asks. I also tell them why I think they’d be good religious or consecrated- what qualities they possess that would be helpful. —KCT (mom of 3 teens)
 
The Mass Kit is charming, and very educational. I’m rather fond of Montessori, anyway, so this to me seems a bargain. I like the linens, too.

I think a person who could sew could do up vestments a lot cheaper, though.

I don’t think it’s a big deal if little kids play Mass, any more than it is for little kids to play funeral or police officer. I think the thing is good supervision, half an ear out for things getting out of hand, and questions being answered.

Funny, no kid ever wants to play Confession.😉

My brothers used potato chips and Kool-Aid. We had a toy piano with plinky keys. Now, our cousins had a gen-u-ine Emenee Organ, but they were Baptists, so they couldn’t play. 😉

My husband either used Ritz crackers, or Wonder bread circles cut with a shot glass. He grew up in California, so his “flock” had some Mormons and Evangelicals.
 
I think there’s a reversal here. I think there was a time after Vatican II when nobody KNEW what Vatican II meant, and just* assumed* it meant that anything goes. Once we all found out it was still OK to be a dyed-in-the-wool Catholic, it was OK to have a son be a priest or a daughter be a religious.

I know more than one guy who was either an only son, or had a father who didn’t want his son to be a priest because it somehow wasn’t manly. In those cases, the guys became priests, anyway. Sadly, I also know of guys who really should have been priests, and women who should have been religious, and are just now finding that out. It was like they had earmuffs on all this time. And they are not joining flakey religious houses like that bunch of New Age Urselines in another thread.

And let us not forget- being married or called to the sngle life is STILL a vocation.

I suggest prayer: Prayer that the child grows into the person God wants him or her to be, prayer for a good spouse, or a good seminary, or a good religious house.
 
40.png
contemplative:
Comparing how a little girl plays mommy with her dolls to children playing priests with pickle slices is like comparing apples and oranges…
Click to expand...
How so? In both cases it is children imitating grown up professions or situations. A blow off isn’t an answer.
40.png
contemplative:
I am not a child psychologist and I don’t think any studies have been conducted on children playing with Mass kits…
Click to expand...
I understand that your opinion is not an “expert” one, but you did offer one and I responded to it. You said you thought it was unwise, I was just wondering why? My question to you was to better understand your perspective, but you didn’t answer … just blew off my question. Kinda rude.
40.png
contemplative:
I will say that Fisher Price Toys and Hasbro haven’t come out with a priest kit for children yet. If and when they do I’d like to imagine that the Vatican would weigh in with a condemnation. I hardly imagine Pope Benedict condoning such a toy for children…
Click to expand...
I hardly imagine, you imagining the Pope doing anything except agreeing with you. What in the world did that have to do with what I asked you? I think most would agree that a cartoonized Mass kit in the aisle of Walmart would be distasteful, but that’s another topic. Please never mind … forget it … take a deep breath … I retract the original question. Sheesh … sorry I asked.
 
40.png
Ana:
How so? In both cases it is children imitating grown up professions or situations. A blow off isn’t an answer.

I understand that your opinion is not an “expert” one, but you did offer one and I responded to it. You said you thought it was unwise, I was just wondering why? My question to you was to better understand your perspective, but you didn’t answer … just blew off my question. Kinda rude.

I hardly imagine, you imagining the Pope doing anything except agreeing with you. What in the world did that have to do with what I asked you? I think most would agree that a cartoonized Mass kit in the aisle of Walmart would be distasteful, but that’s another topic. Please never mind … forget it … take a deep breath … I retract the original question. Sheesh … sorry I asked.
Click to expand...
I am sorry to hear so much frustration in your words. The answer to your question was in previous postings. I wish you had followed it. Someone else suggested the importance of having an adult oversee the use of a Mass kit for children. All parents know that children have a way of utilizing various toys for differnent ‘functions’. I could easily imagine the chalice or paten being carried over to a little girl’s teaset for afternoon tea with the dolls. This would be a mistake. The Mass kit is good with adult supervision for proper use. 😉
 
contemplative said:
" It is no wonder that vocations are down in places. The children are learning all the wrong things. Just look where parents priorities are, thats what children learn."

This is a quotation by BzyCath CA forum member. His quotation inspired this new thread.

What are parents doing or not doing to encourgage or discourage their children to religious vocations?

I wish those who contribute to this thread do a little soul searching and honestly reflect here what they see in themselves and in others. We all may learn a great deal from one another.
Click to expand...

Another thing that I think is worth mentioning…Sometimes parents actually push their children too hard to enter religious life. For example, I know a good homeschooling mom of 6. From the moment her oldest son was about 5, she continually told him he should be a priest. He is now 16, begged to go to school, and from what I understand has completely blocked out any notion of going into religious life.
My brother might’ve been a good priest. Again, my mother constantly pushed the idea–even now she’ll bring it up and my brother is married with a new baby!!! On his wedding day, my grandma told him before the ceremony “it’s not too late to become a priest”–right in front of the bride-to-be. My SIL has never forgotten that, and apparently shed a few tears re: the comment.

I think the best thing is to let your children know that religious life is an acceptable vocation, teach them well in the faith, find a good parish with good priests who take an interest in kids, and pray, pray, pray that they pursue the vocation that God wishes them to.
 
40.png
Giannawannabe:
Another thing that I think is worth mentioning…Sometimes parents actually push their children too hard to enter religious life. For example, I know a good homeschooling mom of 6. From the moment her oldest son was about 5, she continually told him he should be a priest. He is now 16, begged to go to school, and from what I understand has completely blocked out any notion of going into religious life.
My brother might’ve been a good priest. Again, my mother constantly pushed the idea–even now she’ll bring it up and my brother is married with a new baby!!! On his wedding day, my grandma told him before the ceremony “it’s not too late to become a priest”–right in front of the bride-to-be. My SIL has never forgotten that, and apparently shed a few tears re: the comment.

I think the best thing is to let your children know that religious life is an acceptable vocation, teach them well in the faith, find a good parish with good priests who take an interest in kids, and pray, pray, pray that they pursue the vocation that God wishes them to.
Click to expand...
Good points but we must also remember that the call originates with the community, this is an aspect that I see has been lost in the Western Church.

In the Byzantine parish the babas, or older ladies of the parish, let the boys know if they think they should be a priest.

If you know a child who you think is well suited for religious life and/or the priesthood, let them know. Many had their first thought of it when they were told by someone in the parish.

It is not the priest’s job, it is the job of the parish to foster vocations. Part of it is done by being respectful of religious, the other part is by encouraging those who you think might have a vocation.
 
40.png
Shari:
I have five children ages almost 7 and under. We do not bring food or toys to mass, as not only is this teaching the kids bad habits, but it also creates a distraction for the others around us. We sit up close so the kids can see, which helps with paying attention. It is hard for little kids to watch the back of peoples heads…

… I really think it is how you handle the issue, yes kids will make noise and most people understand that. But if you let them know it is unacceptable and really work with them on how to behave in church this helps. Also rewards after church for being so good, or just a lot of praise.
Click to expand...
This is our approach as well. We have 2 boys - 2 1/2 and 1 1/2. Our older son LOVES church and if my husband and I can’t attend the same Mass on Sunday he’ll go twice. Our younger son is still not quite to the point where he sits still for the whole Mass but we try not to take him out too much because we don’t want him to learn that all he has to do is misbehave and he can leave the pew. When I do take him to the back, I don’t let him down to stand/walk around on his own. I try to make him realize that being taken to the back is a punishment and the ideal situation would be to go back to the pew with Dad and Brother, if that makes any sense.

We do have a “Church bag” in the car that has kid rosaries and religious board books but my older son doesn’t use those anymore. He will hold his rosary during Mass sometimes but any time he starts misusing it (trying to wear it or trying to bang it against the pew) we take it away from him.

I also agree with whoever said that it’s harder to break a habit than to not do it to begin with. The only time we’ve had sippy cups in church was when our younger son was still eating every 3 hours and needed a bottle during Mass. Our older son was only about 14 months old at the time so he didn’t understand why he couldn’t drink if his brother was. But as soon as the bottles disappeared, so did the sippy cup of water. We plan to do the same for any future kids we have as well because it has worked for our older son. 🙂
 
40.png
ByzCath:
It is not the priest’s job, it is the job of the parish to foster vocations. Part of it is done by being respectful of religious, the other part is by encouraging those who you think might have a vocation.
Click to expand...
I absolutely agree with this David. I certainly think if one knows of a young person who seems suited to religious life, one must encourage him/her. I also think it is perfectly acceptable to mention to parents that their son/daughter may have a calling to religious life (I’ve had people tell me that about my own son!!). Sometimes, TOO MUCH encouragement, especially from overzealous parents, can turn a potential priest or consecrated away from their calling.
 
On his wedding day, my grandma told him before the ceremony “it’s not too late to become a priest”–right in front of the bride-to-be. My SIL has never forgotten that, and apparently shed a few tears re: the comment.
Click to expand...
:bigyikes: :bigyikes:
I think the best thing is to let your children know that religious life is an acceptable vocation, teach them well in the faith, find a good parish with good priests who take an interest in kids, and pray, pray, pray that they pursue the vocation that God wishes them to.
Click to expand...
Very good point.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top