Vocations and parental role/What are you doing or not doing?

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Now that my children are young adults and relatively cash poor with college books and such to buy I have offered them money and encouragement to take a religious retreat weekend now and then. No one has taken me up on the offer yet but the door to the possibility remains open.
 
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MaryB23:
Our younger son is still not quite to the point where he sits still for the whole Mass but we try not to take him out too much because we don’t want him to learn that all he has to do is misbehave and he can leave the pew. When I do take him to the back, I don’t let him down to stand/walk around on his own. I try to make him realize that being taken to the back is a punishment and the ideal situation would be to go back to the pew with Dad and Brother, if that makes any sense.
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Makes perfect sense. I completly agree. We have a 5 mo old and my hubby is saying he thinks we will need to use the cry room till she is a little older, I said I really don’t want to I will just walk to the back if she gets fussy.

I
 
contemplative said:
" It is no wonder that vocations are down in places. The children are learning all the wrong things. Just look where parents priorities are, thats what children learn."

This is a quotation by BzyCath CA forum member. His quotation inspired this new thread.

What are parents doing or not doing to encourgage or discourage their children to religious vocations?

I wish those who contribute to this thread do a little soul searching and honestly reflect here what they see in themselves and in others. We all may learn a great deal from one another.
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Hi “Contemplative” and I do appreciate your fine post.

I do believe it is the parents responsibility to instill values and morals into our kids today. But so many of us fall short. We need God’s forgiveness, mercy. I know I do.

I used to think or just frown on religious vocation, how it would rob my sons from a life. Now, I think the total opposite. There is nothing which would be more glorious than for one of my sons to follow a vocation which God lead them in, to be such a leader, disciple, minister, example, than to be a Priest. But I feel God must call them to such, not me, their Mom. To lead the flock, to lead families in this day and age, to a spirit-filled life, what could be a better, more worthy vocation? Nothing, in my book, not all the $$$$ in the world, and this is a draw for the young today. They want to be rich, successful, so what? where does this lead? Only to earthy gain, nothing more.

Thank you Contemplative for your awesome post. It really gives us parents something to think about.

God Bless~~
 
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contemplative:
I am sorry to hear so much frustration in your words. The answer to your question was in previous postings. I wish you had followed it. Someone else suggested the importance of having an adult oversee the use of a Mass kit for children. All parents know that children have a way of utilizing various toys for differnent ‘functions’. I could easily imagine the chalice or paten being carried over to a little girl’s teaset for afternoon tea with the dolls. This would be a mistake. The Mass kit is good with adult supervision for proper use. 😉
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I had read the thread, I just was wondering why YOU thought it was unwise, but maybe you said so and I missed it. God bless.
 
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Ana:
I had read the thread, I just was wondering why YOU thought it was unwise, but maybe you said so and I missed it. God bless.
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Unattended children playing with a Mass kit are quite likely to misconstrue or warp the Mass.
 
i pray every day for my child (and future children) to respond to God’s call and tell God that if it is His will i will encourage vocations in my family. I want what God wants for my children. If they all take HOly Orders. great. if none do great. Thy will be done.
 
sparkle said:
Hi “Contemplative” and I do appreciate your fine post.

I do believe it is the parents responsibility to instill values and morals into our kids today. But so many of us fall short. We need God’s forgiveness, mercy. I know I do.
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It is the falling short which is difficult to share. I suppose the thing I am most guilty of today is talking more negatively about hierarchy than is necessary. If I feel that I must talk about certain negative realities then the least I could do is counterbalance with discussions about all the positive things hierarchy do.
To lead the flock, to lead families in this day and age, to a spirit-filled life, what could be a better, more worthy vocation? Nothing, in my book, not all the $$ in the world, and this is a draw for the young today. They want to be rich, successful, so what? where does this lead? Only to earthy gain, nothing more.
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Todays readings were just about this. Mt 13:44-52 or 13:44-46
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ByzCath:
This thread,
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=65600, is a perfect example of why many do not enter the priesthood.

Not many people coming to the defense of priests and not much respect shown here.
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I saw that thread and blew it off–the OP was blatantly angry and splashed his anger across the board with such a broad brush (and another subsequent poster did the same thing) that I figured nothing I would say would sway such anger–not to mention that I can certainly think of past employers who weren’t priests behaving quite similarly…when a thread is so obviously off the deep end, I tend not to respond. It reminded me of this time I was walking in the mall and this guy coming at me yelled at me, “What are you looking at!” I recognized immediately there was something really wrong with this guy (and I wasn’t looking at him, LOL) and I just ignored him–that thread left me with the same feeling (not that I’m saying there’s anything wrong like that with the OP, but just that same feeling).

I have nothing but respect for the priests I’ve met in my time and for the vocation of priest–especially our parish pastor…however, I did say a quick prayer for the priest that OP wrote about–sounds like he could use it on multiple fronts.

Penitent
 
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Penitent:
I saw that thread and blew it off–the OP was blatantly angry and splashed his anger across the board with such a broad brush (and another subsequent poster did the same thing) that I figured nothing I would say would sway such anger–not to mention that I can certainly think of past employers who weren’t priests behaving quite similarly…when a thread is so obviously off the deep end, I tend not to respond. It reminded me of this time I was walking in the mall and this guy coming at me yelled at me, “What are you looking at!” I recognized immediately there was something really wrong with this guy (and I wasn’t looking at him, LOL) and I just ignored him–that thread left me with the same feeling (not that I’m saying there’s anything wrong like that with the OP, but just that same feeling).

I have nothing but respect for the priests I’ve met in my time and for the vocation of priest–especially our parish pastor…however, I did say a quick prayer for the priest that OP wrote about–sounds like he could use it on multiple fronts.

Penitent
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Penitent,
I can understand that but when we allow people to act this way with out calling them on it, it looks as though we agree.

The problem is, the person who started that thread has does this all over the place. He constantly attacks priests and bishops, even a case of a religious order, and not many try to correct him.

If we allow people to act without correction, then what do those who might be discerning a vocation see? They see all the wrong things.

That is part of my point.

We can control our actions but when others act we must be there to fix it.
 
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Penitent:
I saw that thread and blew it off–the OP was blatantly angry and splashed his anger across the board with such a broad brush (and another subsequent poster did the same thing) that I figured nothing I would say would sway such anger–not to mention that I can certainly think of past employers who weren’t priests behaving quite similarly…when a thread is so obviously off the deep end, I tend not to respond. It reminded me of this time I was walking in the mall and this guy coming at me yelled at me, “What are you looking at!” I recognized immediately there was something really wrong with this guy (and I wasn’t looking at him, LOL) and I just ignored him–that thread left me with the same feeling (not that I’m saying there’s anything wrong like that with the OP, but just that same feeling).

I have nothing but respect for the priests I’ve met in my time and for the vocation of priest–especially our parish pastor…however, I did say a quick prayer for the priest that OP wrote about–sounds like he could use it on multiple fronts.

Penitent
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I always had the deepest respect for ALL priests. Priests were always welcome in my family home when I was a kid. They were always great dinner guests! I loved and respected every one of them. As an adult I always invited every parish priest over for dinner. I can still remember all their names and what we ate! My faith in priests was shaken over the past few years though. Something crazy happened. We have all seen it in the media. The media I know doesn’t always tell the full truth but the message has been clear lately. This has caused some to over react - including me. I want nothing more than to go back to the time when I had complete trust, love and faith in all priests but I am afraid that time is gone. It is kinda like leaving toyland…never going back. I am now trying to adjust to the point of not sounding crazy. Many others haven’t reached that point and BzCath is correct in not ignoring those ‘crazies’. BzCath has been very patient with me at times and many others.
 
Just a general comment: this was a great question. The responsibility for vocations begins in the home.

I am discerning a vocation and have been affiliated with the Diocese of Rockford, IL. Instead of hand-wringing, my diocese is actually rolling up its sleeves and going out to the flock and promoting and nurturing vocations. We have 3 vocation summer camps (one for Jr. High boys, one for HS/College age, and one for girls interested in religious life) that include talks from priests, religious, and nuns (for the girls camp), adoration, confession, and, of course, fun activities such as cook outs, camping, hiking, etc. The kids love it. We also have monthly meetings with prayer and topic discussions for young men interested in the priesthood.

Now, saying all that, the Diocese is doing something. Of course, joyful, orthodox parish priests have a huge role.

BUT, ULTIMATELY, VOCATIONS COME FROM HOLY FAMILIES. We lay faithful have to take the initative and responsibility if we want priests, religious, and holy marriages. We are all called to holiness, and holy families will produce holy husbands, wives, consecrated, and priests. The news media goes on and on about how the problem is with the church HIERACRCHY (we need the discipline of celibacy changed, or we need to admit women, etc. etc.). As a young man studying for the priesthood I say, WRONG. It is, a crisis of holiness. Holy families produce holy children who will seek the vocation God calls them to, whatever it be.

Looks like some parents on this board are doing great things. Keep it up. Good question.
 
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AngelicDoctor:
Just a general comment: this was a great question. The responsibility for vocations begins in the home.

I am discerning a vocation and have been affiliated with the Diocese of Rockford, IL. Instead of hand-wringing, my diocese is actually rolling up its sleeves and going out to the flock and promoting and nurturing vocations. We have 3 vocation summer camps (one for Jr. High boys, one for HS/College age, and one for girls interested in religious life) that include talks from priests, religious, and nuns (for the girls camp), adoration, confession, and, of course, fun activities such as cook outs, camping, hiking, etc. The kids love it. We also have monthly meetings with prayer and topic discussions for young men interested in the priesthood.

Now, saying all that, the Diocese is doing something. Of course, joyful, orthodox parish priests have a huge role.
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Great! Another fellow discerner in vocations!

I must say though. I am saddened by what your diocese does, well not really in what it is doing, as that is great, but what it is not doing.

They are missing something. Reaching out to the older person.

I am now 38 years old, you would not believe how many dioceses and religious orders do not want to talk to me because I am over 35.

It is very discouraging.

But I thank God that I have found my path. I will share this with everyone when I get a little firmer word on it, I don’t want to jinks it right now.
 
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ByzCath:
Great! Another fellow discerner in vocations!

I must say though. I am saddened by what your diocese does, well not really in what it is doing, as that is great, but what it is not doing.

They are missing something. Reaching out to the older person.

I am now 38 years old, you would not believe how many dioceses and religious orders do not want to talk to me because I am over 35.

It is very discouraging.

But I thank God that I have found my path. I will share this with everyone when I get a little firmer word on it, I don’t want to jinks it right now.
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ByzCath,
Actually, that is not my Diocese at all. We have a large number of men well over 35. (In fact, we just ordained one transitional deacon at age 68!..although that was a rare situation.) Rockford does has a small number of men starting seminary college in their late teens. However, probably most of our guys are “pre-theology” candidates who already have a college degree (like me). Also, we must have nearly 20 guys (out of about 40 total) who are in seminary or starting seminary between the ages of 26 and 40 (including guys who have already had careers in a variety of fields). (and, we have a few guys older than 40).
35 years old?.. you are a pup. No, your age would not at all be a barrier in this diocese (though I have heard that for some diocese that is a barrier).

If you ever needed to look for another diocese, we’d be happy to have you in this nice local church (see
www.rockvoc.org ) … God has blessed us in the last few years and next year we ordained 10 new priests, praise God!
Let us pray for one another in our discernment! (pray for me, especially)

I think that we have vocation camps just because you have to do more for the younger kids to get them thinking about vocations. Most older guys (I am 28, and I did not think about a vocation to the priesthood until my last days at the university) tend to discern their vocation by their involvement in the liturgy and their parish… by getting to know good priests, and having a spiritual director. However, once they talk with our vocations office, they are definitely encouraged and assisted in any way possible.
 
whoops… ByzCath, I re-read my post and note that you wrote that you were 38 not 35. I would still consider that a good mature age at which to pursue the priesthood. I have been to different seminaries and have known many guys in their mid-30’s to late 40’s studying for various dioceses. My diocese has a large number of new priests around your age.
 
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AngelicDoctor:
I am discerning a vocation and have been affiliated with the Diocese of Rockford, IL.
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I will be praying for you. And a bunch of us from WI are going to be at the family confrence in Rockford labor day weekend. We can’t thank the diocese enough for putting this on. It’s such a good retreat weekend, especially for the kids programs. I myself can’t wait to hear Scott Hahn, his book was the first one I ever read on the Catholic church and it really opened my eyes. I was confirmed last august.

Anyway blessing to you. We need good holy priests, especially in my area. :eek:
 
Shari,

Thanks so much for your prayers. I think that you will like that conference. I went to it last year when they had one in my home town in the Western Chicago suburbs. Attending such a conference is also a great general thing that families can do to heighten an awareness of vocation in their children.
 
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AngelicDoctor:
Shari,

Thanks so much for your prayers. I think that you will like that conference. I went to it last year when they had one in my home town in the Western Chicago suburbs. Attending such a conference is also a great general thing that families can do to heighten an awareness of vocation in their children.
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Was that the one in St. Charles? My hubby and I went to it. It was my confirmation gift. Small world 😃
 
Yup, that was the one… in St. Charles. I was helping out as a sacristan to prepare things for the liturgy.
 
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