Waiting, But Struggling

[GaryCatholicDad]

Honestly, if you feel that you only want to have sex with someone that you love and want to be with forever. Then what does a peice of paper and a day at the church mean anyways? It’s the actions that count. Too many people get married to feel married, instead of marrying because they feel united and one. That grace stuff is kinda silly. Catholics view on circumcision and how it’s the circumcision of the heart that matters should apply to other aspects too. My parents have been together for decades and both got out of a bad marriage (my moms was really abusive) and they never got married because they know it’s just paper and it’s how you live your life harmoniously with eachother.
If you want to wait to get married good for you, doesn’t mean anything though. The divorce rate is extremely high so what does that tell you. A couple can get married in a drive thru chapel in las vegas and be recognized by the church, doesn’t mean anything.
Peace and good luck to you and your love. If you wait it may be more special later on I guess. Whenever it happens make it special and be open sexually.
Love and peace
Gary

p.s. There was a couple that hadn’t engaged in any sexual feelings and totally ignored there body until marriage, it was so intense that they both had heart attacks and died.
just a thought…

 

[whatevergirl]

Honestly, if you feel that you only want to have sex with someone that you love and want to be with forever. Then what does a peice of paper and a day at the church mean anyways? It’s the actions that count. Too many people get married to feel married, instead of marrying because they feel united and one. That grace stuff is kinda silly. Catholics view on circumcision and how it’s the circumcision of the heart that matters should apply to other aspects too. My parents have been together for decades and both got out of a bad marriage (my moms was really abusive) and they never got married because they know it’s just paper and it’s how you live your life harmoniously with eachother.
If you want to wait to get married good for you, doesn’t mean anything though. The divorce rate is extremely high so what does that tell you. A couple can get married in a drive thru chapel in las vegas and be recognized by the church, doesn’t mean anything.
Peace and good luck to you and your love. If you wait it may be more special later on I guess. Whenever it happens make it special and be open sexually.
Love and peace
Gary

p.s. There was a couple that hadn’t engaged in any sexual feelings and totally ignored there body until marriage, it was so intense that they both had heart attacks and died.
just a thought…

This is not good advice for a Catholic to follow, though…

 

[Tosk]

p.s. There was a couple that hadn’t engaged in any sexual feelings and totally ignored there body until marriage, it was so intense that they both had heart attacks and died.
just a thought…

ROTFLMFAO

Outside of fiction I have never heard of that happening. when did this happen?

 

[w2bp88]

And, yes, many people marry without having been overly familiar in a physical way. A good friend of mine got married. As she greeted her parents after the ceremony, she told her mom and dad “my wedding gift to you is that you just witnessed my first kiss”. This young woman was a pageant girl, a buauty queen, stunning and bright. She saved the intimacy of kissing until her wedding. She is blissfully happily married now.

That’s such a nice story. I wish I would have saved that for my wedding day too.

 

[w2bp88]

Honestly, if you feel that you only want to have sex with someone that you love and want to be with forever. Then what does a peice of paper and a day at the church mean anyways? It’s the actions that count. Too many people get married to feel married, instead of marrying because they feel united and one. That grace stuff is kinda silly. Catholics view on circumcision and how it’s the circumcision of the heart that matters should apply to other aspects too. My parents have been together for decades and both got out of a bad marriage (my moms was really abusive) and they never got married because they know it’s just paper and it’s how you live your life harmoniously with eachother.
If you want to wait to get married good for you, doesn’t mean anything though. The divorce rate is extremely high so what does that tell you. A couple can get married in a drive thru chapel in las vegas and be recognized by the church, doesn’t mean anything.
Peace and good luck to you and your love. If you wait it may be more special later on I guess. Whenever it happens make it special and be open sexually.
Love and peace
Gary

p.s. There was a couple that hadn’t engaged in any sexual feelings and totally ignored there body until marriage, it was so intense that they both had heart attacks and died.
just a thought…

Not very good advice for a Catholic forum.:nope:

 

[idontknow]

Not very good advice for a Catholic forum.:nope:

I agree, not very good advice at all for this board or forum.

Obviously I am not interested in this kind of advice as I have stated, we will Not have relations until after marriage. We both believe it is sacred and are waiting.

 

[Timbothefiveth]

was just looking for realistic ways to make it easier,

Try to go somewhere where you can get close and there are still some barriers to getting too close. Maybe take her out to eat?

p.s. There was a couple that hadn’t engaged in any sexual feelings and totally ignored there body until marriage, it was so intense that they both had heart attacks and died.
just a thought…

That’s a lie!. That much tension couldn’t build up, the body releases it every now and then.

Honestly, if you feel that you only want to have sex with someone that you love and want to be with forever. Then what does a peice of paper and a day at the church mean anyways?

That you’re not willing to have sex with someone other than your spouse. (I wouldn’t want to marry someone that was)

It’s the actions that count.

And before marriage, it’s a sinful action.

Too many people get married to feel married, instead of marrying because they feel united and one. That grace stuff is kinda silly.

This view is in direct conflict with the catholic church, the bible and the teachings of the apostles.

Catholics view on circumcision and how it’s the circumcision of the heart that matters should apply to other aspects too.

Then why would the Bible, why would St Paul, warn against premarital sex? My parents have been together for decades and both got out of a bad marriage (my moms was really abusive) and

they never got married because they know it’s just paper

No, it’s not just paper. It’s a holy union. There is a reason St Paul said not to have non-marital sex.

be open sexually.

That’s fine, within marriage. Outside of it and you turn in to “a slave to sin”.

If you want to wait to get married good for you, doesn’t mean anything though.

Er, yes it does. I’ll take St Paul’s words over your’s.

The divorce rate is extremely high so what does that tell you.

Maybe that has something to do with attitudes like your’s?

A couple can get married in a drive thru chapel in las vegas and be recognized by the church, doesn’t mean anything.

Drive thru **catholic **churches?

And, yeah, marriage means a lot. Why else would St. Paul urge people to (paraphrasing) “marry rather than burn with passion”?

 

[peary]

Me and my girlfriend have been together around a year and plan on probably getting married in maybe another year (We are both about 26). We are waiting for marriage to have relations (sex and to completely see each other’s bodies).

But we have been stuggling at times with resisting each others bodies. We sometimes get going too much and are feeling our bodies against each others more than we should, since we love being close to each other and how great the other person feels - including hugs or anything. We know we need to fix this, as we talked about it quite a bitlast nite, but we have said we need to be stronger before. (We want our relationship to be good through Jesus’s eyes - Plus that will make the reward even better when we get married). I am really stuggling at times when it feels like my testosterone levels (hormones) are through the roof; it feels like I have to put my body against hers or I can’t survive. (I almost want to cry if I am resisting her.) I don’t know what to do about this…

We both love each others bodies and can’t wait for marriage for the “ultimate reward” of getting to see and be with each other after marriage. But we are really having a hard time right now stopping ourselves from doing more than we should be and we know we need to change our relationship and make it less “physical” (pressing our bodies aginst each others).

Thanx for any help.

Did you read what you wrote??

“[we feel] our bodies against each other”
“my testosterone levels are through the roof”
“I feel I have to put my body against hers or I can’t survive”
“we both love our bodies”
“pressing our bodies against each other’s”

Where is your relationship with the Lord in all this? Never once did you EVER mention your relationship to Christ.

A word (to the wise): to make a marriage last, you have to be “best friends”. Right now, it seems you see each other as sexual objects rather than anything else.

and then there is the question that BOTH of you should be asking yourselves: do I love you because I need you, or do I need you because I love you?

I’d really take a major step back and begin discussing these things with each other as well as a priest at your parish.

 

[idontknow]

Did you read what you wrote??

“[we feel] our bodies against each other”
“my testosterone levels are through the roof”
“I feel I have to put my body against hers or I can’t survive”
“we both love our bodies”
“pressing our bodies against each other’s”

Where is your relationship with the Lord in all this? Never once did you EVER mention your relationship to Christ.

A word (to the wise): to make a marriage last, you have to be “best friends”. Right now, it seems you see each other as sexual objects rather than anything else.

and then there is the question that BOTH of you should be asking yourselves: do I love you because I need you, or do I need you because I love you?

I’d really take a major step back and begin discussing these things with each other as well as a priest at your parish.

I just mentioned what was more of the struggle; not the positive parts of our relationship, because I was looking for advice. The reason we are waiting and working on things, is because of our faith. That’s why we are trying to do better on things and why I posted on this Catholic site for advice.

• Also, we talk for a couple of hours almost every nite. We talk about our days, and about everything. We don’t have secrets. We have become very very close friends. We don’t just want to spend our lives together because we like each other’s bodies, we relize our lives together will be part of our journey to getting to heaven. We really like each other, from talking, to hanging out, to going places, and more…

 

[budgie2]

It’s a great thing that you’re trying to wait till marriage but some of your posts are a bit rude. You’d better save it for your girlfriend. Me and my husband are having a hard time right now following my baby’s birth. A lot of couples nowadays have had sex before their marriage night and so they have to spend a lot of money on the wedding day and their honeymoon instead. Otherwise they’ve got nothing to look forward to and they don’t look forward to sex.

If sex is not old hat to you it’s better having a quiet honeymoon location where there’s not a lot to see and do, rather than a touristy place where you’ll be traipsing every day.

 

[newbetx]

Me and my girlfriend have been together around a year and plan on probably getting married in maybe another year (We are both about 26). We are waiting for marriage to have relations (sex and to completely see each other’s bodies).

But we have been stuggling at times with resisting each others bodies. We sometimes get going too much and are feeling our bodies against each others more than we should, since we love being close to each other and how great the other person feels - including hugs or anything. We know we need to fix this, as we talked about it quite a bitlast nite, but we have said we need to be stronger before. (We want our relationship to be good through Jesus’s eyes - Plus that will make the reward even better when we get married). I am really stuggling at times when it feels like my testosterone levels (hormones) are through the roof; it feels like I have to put my body against hers or I can’t survive. (I almost want to cry if I am resisting her.) I don’t know what to do about this…

We both love each others bodies and can’t wait for marriage for the “ultimate reward” of getting to see and be with each other after marriage. But we are really having a hard time right now stopping ourselves from doing more than we should be and we know we need to change our relationship and make it less “physical” (pressing our bodies aginst each others).

Thanx for any help.

Congratulations. And you know things are “working” for you. This is all good, but difficult to manage some days.

But you do have a slight problem. There are many times that you and your future wife won’t be able to share these “feelings.” Control is part of the problem. I’m still as crazy for my bride today as I was 20 years ago, so I know what you are feeling. Time apart drives me crazy. And no, avoiding touching her doesn’t help. It doesn’t hurt, either. You need to learn that these feelings are normal and find other ways to direct those feelings towards your spouse and to God.

Sounds crazy? It’s not. Someone suggested TOB. I second that. You two have much, yet, to learn about your pending relationship. Our church handed out “The Good News About Sex and Marriage”. Another good book, I hear is “Holy Sex!” by Popcak. Either would be good material for an engaged couple.

What you are missing is the understanding of the blessing of chastity within a marriage. This is a key thing you need to understand, now and going forward. Here, too, is a good set of FREE MP3’s for you.
catholicaudio.blogspot.com/2007/08/fr-robert-altier-marriage-class.html
and
catholicaudio.blogspot.com/2008/04/theology-of-body-fr-john-riccardo.html

Peace and Congratualations!