Walked out of Mass

[garn9173]

With the RCIA he is dealing with people who are not yet fully catechized, and who may be nervous and unsure about themselves, and possibly terrified of being called up and standing in front of everyone while they get blessed and then sent off to study the Word.

He was probably trying to make them feel at ease.

Seems like an appropriate time to make a joke: and “Who’s that knocking at the door?” sounds entirely appropriate, 'cos they are in fact knocking at the door, but have not yet entered.

Spot on.

 

[utah_rose]

We have a priest at a nearby parish that jokes around all the time, sometimes in the Homily to make a point, sometimes after Mass. At first I was a little offended, but got over it as he doesn’t do this at the Consecration. He does have a sense of humor, and when I’m a “little off” (such as applauding at something he says after Mass) I just offer it up. I figure that at some point Jesus did have a sense of humor, and although He wouldn’t have liked it if priests were using their own words for the Canon or Consecration, some of the others would have been okay.

What does disturb me though is stressing “social teachings” of the Church in the Homily (not talking about abortion or same-sex marriages) instead of catechizing the congregation on which is right, not just his opinion. Slipping over these things, especially in an election year seems to tell Catholics to vote for whoever they want emotionally.

 

[porthos11]

Hi,

My husband and I walked out of Mass the other day because we thought that the priest’s joking around (hard to explain) went ovr the line and we thought it was disrespectful. We just couldn’t sit through the circus. Since we were out of town and I was very upset at the time, we didn’t go to a different parish. Do I need to confess this? It bothers me but I also feel that staying at that Mass could have been sinful.

Thanks,

I would say yes. Even if the priest preached a sermon from hell itself, you still intentionally missed Sunday Mass.

It would never have been sinful to stay for Mass, and may even have been meritorious to bear it and offer it up. But instead, you chose your own preferences and missed your Sunday obligation. You could have chosen to disregard the sermon. You could even have taken a breather and come back for the Creed. But instead you walked out on the Sacrifice. I would say bring it to Confession.

I don’t want to sound harsh but I think you need to hear it said harshly. You chose yourself over God that day.

 

[robwar]

Hi,

My husband and I walked out of Mass the other day because we thought that the priest’s joking around (hard to explain) went ovr the line and we thought it was disrespectful. We just couldn’t sit through the circus. Since we were out of town and I was very upset at the time, we didn’t go to a different parish. Do I need to confess this? It bothers me but I also feel that staying at that Mass could have been sinful.

Thanks,

Is this your regular parish or were you visiting another parish while on vacation.? I had a former priest that was quite a joker and told jokes at the end of mass. i see nothing wrong with that and actually you can teach a lot when it is coated with humor. Even though you didn’t like what he said and the response, you are at mass to received the eucharist and when you walk out, you only hurt yourself at the end. I think what one of the other posters said that maybe step out side for a moment, take a deep breath and then return with the focus that you are there for mass and the eucharist. Talk about this with your regular priest and just use it as learning experience and maybe a game plan for next time if you are at a mass and the priest says something that you find inappropriate.
In a final thought, sometimes I think that we belittle humor and see it as meaningless. I think that sometimes humor can be used to teach an important point or make a statement. Humor can be used like a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down. From what was shared here, i think the priest was trying to make a comment about elections and candidates. While others found it funny, somebody didn’t. Humor can be used to lighten up the situation and help us stand back and relook at something. Just a thought.

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

I actaully can’t remember specific comments. He was doing some RCIA stuff at the beginning of the mass and said something along the lines of “Who’s that knocking at the door?” wrt I guess the candidates and their sponsors waiting to process in. The whole congregation thought that was funny. Agian, hard to remember all of the joking (because it wasn’t just one comment…if it was I probably would have stayed and moved on). All I could do was look at my husband and say, “Are you kidding me?”. I struggled with it, but in the end I had to leave.

Sounds like the Rite of Acceptance…and yes they knock on the door…so the part about “who it’s knocking” was NOT inappropriate.

 

[Don_Jackson]

“From silly devotions and sour-faced saints, good Lord, deliver us!”
-St. Teresa of Avila

 

[sambos671]

I confess here (and have confessed, indeed) that I did feel compelled to leave Mass once, as the sign of peace was being offered. Let’s just say without the details that many of you would have been equally shocked by the events of the moment.

That said, it is still Mass, and I ended up feeling guilty about it, and felt it a proper matter for confession (after all, it is Sunday obligation).

I can’t really comment on your specific situation because I wasn’t there and didn’t really know what is going on.

However, sort of keeping with the idea of this thread you may come across some clergy who are opposed to sound Catholic Teaching. I have seen a video of one preist defiantly mocking the Pope and pronouncing he was homosexual and had his congregants laugh when he derided Humanae Vitae and Catholic teaching about these issues. That being said according to canon law despite the “sinfulness of the priest” the fact that he is an ordained priest of the Catholic Church and you are properly disposed to recieving the Eucharist you will still truelly recieve the body, blood, soul and divinity of Our Lord which is why we go to mass in the first place. It is to commune with our Lord and to worship him. Mass isn’t about the priest but our time with Jesus Christ as he is really present there. However, to properly protest the priest I would submit a full detailed account to the bishop.

 

[JohnMPhilomena]

Wouldn’t it be great if we could all focus and work on our own sins?

It seems so much easier to spot the sins of others.

Peace,
John

 

[sambos671]

Wouldn’t it be great if we could all focus and work on our own sins?

It seems so much easier to spot the sins of others.

Peace,
John

Though your statement is truethful such statements rarely help people distressed about an aspect of their faith. Rather they feel that they are being blown off or worse that their faith turns a blind eye to its clergy’s misbehavior or immoral actions or immoral comments. And by turning a blind eye are in effect accepting such things as acceptable for the faith. This perspective often causes people to stop studying their own faith and allow them to become easily persuaded by a more “moral” behaving institution. Certainly, we don’t want to present the Catholic faith in this manner.

 

[Lucky7]

I would say yes. Even if the priest preached a sermon from hell itself, you still intentionally missed Sunday Mass.

It would never have been sinful to stay for Mass, and may even have been meritorious to bear it and offer it up. But instead, you chose your own preferences and missed your Sunday obligation. You could have chosen to disregard the sermon. You could even have taken a breather and come back for the Creed. But instead you walked out on the Sacrifice. I would say bring it to Confession.

I don’t want to sound harsh but I think you need to hear it said harshly. You chose yourself over God that day.

Although I don’t mind harsh…and can take it…my only concern at that moment was what appeared to be turning the mass into a mockery. So, no I wasn’t thinking of myself. I was thinking about God and asking myself what has happened to His church?

 

[Lucky7]

I confess here (and have confessed, indeed) that I did feel compelled to leave Mass once, as the sign of peace was being offered. Let’s just say without the details that many of you would have been equally shocked by the events of the moment.

That said, it is still Mass, and I ended up feeling guilty about it, and felt it a proper matter for confession (after all, it is Sunday obligation).

After what I experienced? No, I would not be shocked at all.

 

[Lucky7]

With the RCIA he is dealing with people who are not yet fully catechized, and who may be nervous and unsure about themselves, and possibly terrified of being called up and standing in front of everyone while they get blessed and then sent off to study the Word.

He was probably trying to make them feel at ease.

Seems like an appropriate time to make a joke: and “Who’s that knocking at the door?” sounds entirely appropriate, 'cos they are in fact knocking at the door, but have not yet entered.

BTW Lucky7

be aware that when you ask for opinions on a forum on whether you’ve done something “wrong” you will get a ton of people saying that you have.

Read them all with a pinch of salt. Only you know the true story. Perhaps there is a kernal of truth somewhere in one of our posts.

It’s best just to talk to your priest and not get too hung up on what we say.

I appreciate that. All I can say is I have never walked out on mass so it had to be pretty bad (for me) to do so. And so far everyone is only focusing on the one thing I do remember. It seems to me that more and more the Mass is a place for jokes and fun rather than reverence. Maybe I should be attending Latin mass.

 

[Lucky7]

Though your statement is truethful such statements rarely help people distressed about an aspect of their faith. Rather they feel that they are being blown off or worse that their faith turns a blind eye to its clergy’s misbehavior or immoral actions or immoral comments. And by turning a blind eye are in effect accepting such things as acceptable for the faith. This perspective often causes people to stop studying their own faith and allow them to become easily persuaded by a more “moral” behaving institution. Certainly, we don’t want to present the Catholic faith in this manner.

And I would argue that the pp’s comment is actually doing exactly what he is chiding others for doing.

 

[triumphguy]

I appreciate that. All I can say is I have never walked out on mass so it had to be pretty bad (for me) to do so. And so far everyone is only focusing on the one thing I do remember. It seems to me that more and more the Mass is a place for jokes and fun rather than reverence. Maybe I should be attending Latin mass.

Actually I’ve experienced the reverse. In my diocese I see a movement away from the jovial 80’s towards a more “dignified” experience of the mass.

 

[Lucky7]

Actually I’ve experienced the reverse. In my diocese I see a movement away from the jovial 80’s towards a more “dignified” experience of the mass.

Well, I was visiting southern California so I suspect that that had something to do with it.

 

[Actaeon]

Hi,

My husband and I walked out of Mass the other day because we thought that the priest’s joking around (hard to explain) went ovr the line and we thought it was disrespectful. We just couldn’t sit through the circus. Since we were out of town and I was very upset at the time, we didn’t go to a different parish. Do I need to confess this? It bothers me but I also feel that staying at that Mass could have been sinful.

Thanks,

Okay, I’m going to chime in on this one:

The level of “joviality” and any offense taken to it is irrelevant to our duty to attend mass. You’ve noted that this occured at the beginning of mass… so I’m going, for the sake of not delaying a discussion until you clarify, to presume that you left at the beginning of mass as well.

First, I see nothing wrong with a little bit of clean humor to put catechumens at ease. There is no rubric whatsoever which states that the mass has to be as somber as a funeral. I mean, I’m not saying that people should dance and jump around… but it’s not without precedence in judeo-christianity (since dancing is included in Jewish worship). The point I am making with that is that joviality, joy, is owed to God as much as any other element of the human experience. EDIT: To clarify, because I’m already sure this one paragraph is going to be blown out of context, I’m speaking here of a dignified presentation of joy, not one which detracts from the proper respect given to God.

But again, all of that is largely irrelevant, because regardless of the joking, or your offense, you are still bound by the church to participate in a mass and fulfill your Sunday obligation. I can’t offer a definitive answer as to whether or not you need to go to confession, but I can say the following:

Culpability (guilt for) mortal sin is based on the following:

1. Missing your Sunday Obligation is grave matter?
2. Did you know that missing your Sunday obligation is grave matter?
3. Was there is a significant impact to your freedom of will to prevent you from going to another mass?

Again, I can’t presume to judge your spiritual state, but I can say that in that circumstance no amount of “emotional upset” would keep me from finding another mass to attend if at all possible (and if it were a Sunday evening mass with no others to follow, I would have stayed). If I were in that situation and failed to find another mass to attend, I would certainly confess it… but this presumes that your level of being upset did not significantly impact your free will to go to mass (only you know just how impacted you were).

 

[AdamP88]

Actually I was asking the OP and you very rudely posted before me!

Apologies for the misunderstanding.

 

[Lucky7]

Okay, I’m going to chime in on this one:

The level of “joviality” and any offense taken to it is irrelevant to our duty to attend mass. You’ve noted that this occured at the beginning of mass… so I’m going, for the sake of not delaying a discussion until you clarify, to presume that you left at the beginning of mass as well.

First, I see nothing wrong with a little bit of clean humor to put catechumens at ease. There is no rubric whatsoever which states that the mass has to be as somber as a funeral. I mean, I’m not saying that people should dance and jump around… but it’s not without precedence in judeo-christianity (since dancing is included in Jewish worship). The point I am making with that is that joviality, joy, is owed to God as much as any other element of the human experience. EDIT: To clarify, because I’m already sure this one paragraph is going to be blown out of context, I’m speaking here of a dignified presentation of joy, not one which detracts from the proper respect given to God.

But again, all of that is largely irrelevant, because regardless of the joking, or your offense, you are still bound by the church to participate in a mass and fulfill your Sunday obligation. I can’t offer a definitive answer as to whether or not you need to go to confession, but I can say the following:

Culpability (guilt for) mortal sin is based on the following:

1. Missing your Sunday Obligation is grave matter?
2. Did you know that missing your Sunday obligation is grave matter?
3. Was there is a significant impact to your freedom of will to prevent you from going to another mass?

Again, I can’t presume to judge your spiritual state, but I can say that in that circumstance no amount of “emotional upset” would keep me from finding another mass to attend if at all possible (and if it were a Sunday evening mass with no others to follow, I would have stayed). If I were in that situation and failed to find another mass to attend, I would certainly confess it… but this presumes that your level of being upset did not significantly impact your free will to go to mass (only you know just how impacted you were).

I think the bolded part is where it is not clear. Regardless of how upset I was, I was not in my home state, so I didn’t have other churches, schedules and directions at my fingertips. If this had happened in my home state, I probably would have just gone to a different mass. The combination of not being home and my upset definitely impacted my ability to act differently. The fact that my husband was also upset also impacted my ability to act differently.

Not sure if that makes sense.

 

[Actaeon]

I think the bolded part is where it is not clear. Regardless of how upset I was, I was not in my home state, so I didn’t have other churches, schedules and directions at my fingertips. If this had happened in my home state, I probably would have just gone to a different mass. The combination of not being home and my upset definitely impacted my ability to act differently. The fact that my husband was also upset also impacted my ability to act differently.

Not sure if that makes sense.

Ah, I understand… and again, that brings us to another point: did you have the means to attend another mass should have been included in my other post…

I forget (because I have a smart phone with all the whiz bangs you could ever ask for) that finding mass may not be as easy for others as it is for me.

So here is where I’m going to get all ambiguous again:

You have to decide… you say that you were impacted emotionally, but I can’t know how much and whether or not it was enough to be considered to take away your free will. I also don’t know how much difficulty you would have in finding another mass (although, knowing finding another mass would be problematic, I would have stayed for that one…)

So you have to ask yourself, perhaps with brutal honesty, if your emotional state caused by being offended was so bad that you didn’t have the free will to stay (knowing that you would have difficulty finding another mass) or that you didn’t have the free will to choose to find another mass (having left the first). Part of the idea of reconciliation demands us to confront ourselves and ask “could I have done better?” and that is what you need to do here.

If you were so distraught that you just couldn’t stay and couldn’t bring yourself to find another mass or were not able to find another mass (despite trying), then you don’t need to confess it. If you could have forced yourself to stay, or could have taken some measures to find another mass but simply didn’t, then confess it.

My general rule of thumb: better safe than sorry. If I miss mass without being in the doctors office/deployed and travelling at that time/some other rare and serious reasons, it gets confessed.

 

[Lucky7]

So you have to ask yourself, perhaps with brutal honesty, if your emotional state caused by being offended was so bad that you didn’t have the free will to stay (knowing that you would have difficulty finding another mass) or that you didn’t have the free will to choose to find another mass (having left the first). Part of the idea of reconciliation demands us to confront ourselves and ask “could I have done better?” and that is what you need to do here.

If you were so distraught that you just couldn’t stay and couldn’t bring yourself to find another mass or were not able to find another mass (despite trying), then you don’t need to confess it. If you could have forced yourself to stay, or could have taken some measures to find another mass but simply didn’t, then confess it.

My general rule of thumb: better safe than sorry. If I miss mass without being in the doctors office/deployed and travelling at that time/some other rare and serious reasons, it gets confessed.

I really appreciate the time you are taking on this. I will probably confess it just to be on the safe side, but my gut is telling me although it probably qualifies as a sin, it doesn’t reach the level of mortal sin.

Not only was I distraught about mass, but it ended up in an argument with my husband (long story). There was no way he was going to try to find/go to another mass at that point. We also had time constraints due to a wedding later that day. I ended up staying in the hotel room and not socializing with our friends because I needed more time to come down from all that happened…if that makes sense.