Want what I can't accept

[Lea101]

One question. If girls mature faster than boys, how come it seems like most people are telling me at my age girls have, odd goals wants or ambitions?

Girls mature faster than boys as in that their brains undergo pruning earlier than boys (this means that redundant neural connections are edited away, important ones remain stable)

Girls also tend to have more connections across the two hemispheres of the brain.

Physically, they tend to go through puberty quicker.

So that’s what the scientific idea of ‘mature’ means.

Maturity, the type you are talking about, lies in the ‘eye’ (or brain) of the beholder. You might think you are mature, but 5 years later, you will cringe at this post. Maturity is not all about having ambitions. In fact, you think it’s odd, which basically shows everyone has different views on what is the appropriate ambition.

Maturity does not equate to wanting to be married/etc.

A woman wanting to be a lawyer can seem weird to people like you, although technically, it is not wrong. A woman wanting to be a SAHM can seem like a pathetic choice to someone else, although, being a sahm is also not wrong

Each age has its own ‘guidelines’ for maturity. A 6 year old boy might seem mature, if he acts the same way when he’s 16, he is immature.

People are telling you that a girl might not want marriage anytime soon. Or that they are planning to have only 1 kid, or that they don’t want to marry at all. Will they change their minds, maybe. Will you change your mind, maybe. They are not really telling you that their ambitions are weird.

So I guess, what do you mean by ‘mature’ and ‘odd’?

 

[LiamQ]

A woman wanting to be a lawyer can seem weird to people like you, although technically, it is not wrong.

It was only the women of the “Greatest Generation” era who suddenly found themselves working due to World War II. Women prior to that generation wouldn’t have looked at female lawyers as being “weird,” they would have found the idea to be morally degenerate. (And I’m not even going to begin to be open to the suggestion that the average woman of 2016 is better ordered morally than the average woman of 1916. Such propaganda is at least 30,000 leagues beneath contempt.)

The women of the Greatest Generation found themselves enjoying more financial freedom, consequently undermined their husband’s authority more and more, raised the spoiled, rebellious, and intemperate Baby Boomers—who in turn raised the narcissists of Generation X—and have been denying they did anything wrong ever since.

I would urge you to be careful when saying things like “people like you,” since I’m sure you’ve reflexively absorbed the modern culture’s view of a great deal of things, and it’s unfair to say that everyone else should do likewise without even a hint of thought.

 

[Lea101]

It was only the women of the “Greatest Generation” era who suddenly found themselves working due to World War II. Women prior to that generation wouldn’t have looked at female lawyers as being “weird,” they would have found the idea to be morally degenerate. (And I’m not even going to begin to be open to the suggestion that the average woman of 2016 is better ordered morally than the average woman of 1916. Such propaganda is at least 30,000 leagues beneath contempt.)

The women of the Greatest Generation found themselves enjoying more financial freedom, consequently undermined their husband’s authority more and more, raised the spoiled, rebellious, and intemperate Baby Boomers—who in turn raised the narcissists of Generation X—and have been denying they did anything wrong ever since.

I would urge you to be careful when saying things like “people like you,” since I’m sure you’ve reflexively absorbed the modern culture’s view of a great deal of things, and it’s unfair to say that everyone else should do likewise without even a hint of thought.

Um…i did not say that my view was correct. I was saying that people like him view something as odd, people like me view something else as odd. Both are not wrong.

Anyway, with regards to your post, it’s incredibly random and unnecessary for this thread. You seem to be reeeally against working women, lol.

 

[scout_1]

Girls mature faster than boys as in that their brains undergo pruning earlier than boys (this means that redundant neural connections are edited away, important ones remain stable)

Girls also tend to have more connections across the two hemispheres of the brain.

Physically, they tend to go through puberty quicker.

So that’s what the scientific idea of ‘mature’ means.

Maturity, the type you are talking about, lies in the ‘eye’ (or brain) of the beholder. You might think you are mature, but 5 years later, you will cringe at this post. Maturity is not all about having ambitions. In fact, you think it’s odd, which basically shows everyone has different views on what is the appropriate ambition.

Maturity does not equate to wanting to be married/etc.

A woman wanting to be a lawyer can seem weird to people like you, although technically, it is not wrong. A woman wanting to be a SAHM can seem like a pathetic choice to someone else, although, being a sahm is also not wrong

Each age has its own ‘guidelines’ for maturity. A 6 year old boy might seem mature, if he acts the same way when he’s 16, he is immature.

People are telling you that a girl might not want marriage anytime soon. Or that they are planning to have only 1 kid, or that they don’t want to marry at all. Will they change their minds, maybe. Will you change your mind, maybe. They are not really telling you that their ambitions are weird.

So I guess, what do you mean by ‘mature’ and ‘odd’?

I sat with adults most of my life, it was always easier to talk with adults rather than people my age. I still do it. I’ll be dropped off at youth group and talk with the parents until the meeting it starts up. Same at parties/family gatherings. So I was influenced with knowledgeable opinions.

What I mean by mature or odd is wanting to be something that isn’t thought-out fully. Wanting to traveling internationally? Costly, yea it’s fun but won’t get you anywhere. Lawyer? Not weird. Medical professional? Good if you can pay for med school. 1 or 2 kids? Population isn’t sustainable at that rate. Both parents working? Not what I want. Marrage older? Not what I’m call for but definitely understandable in this economy.

It’s all personal, I just wanted a simple opinion on something that was scratching my brain.

 

[scout_1]

It was only the women of the “Greatest Generation” era who suddenly found themselves working due to World War II. Women prior to that generation wouldn’t have looked at female lawyers as being “weird,” they would have found the idea to be morally degenerate. (And I’m not even going to begin to be open to the suggestion that the average woman of 2016 is better ordered morally than the average woman of 1916. Such propaganda is at least 30,000 leagues beneath contempt.)

The women of the Greatest Generation found themselves enjoying more financial freedom, consequently undermined their husband’s authority more and more, raised the spoiled, rebellious, and intemperate Baby Boomers—who in turn raised the narcissists of Generation X—and have been denying they did anything wrong ever since.

Thank you! I have been trying to figure out what has been the main cause of the problem of millennials and the up n’ coming gen x.

 

[scout_1]

Please keep this thread semi on topic

 

[nunsuch]

It was only the women of the “Greatest Generation” era who suddenly found themselves working due to World War II. Women prior to that generation wouldn’t have looked at female lawyers as being “weird,” they would have found the idea to be morally degenerate. (And I’m not even going to begin to be open to the suggestion that the average woman of 2016 is better ordered morally than the average woman of 1916. Such propaganda is at least 30,000 leagues beneath contempt.)

The women of the Greatest Generation found themselves enjoying more financial freedom, consequently undermined their husband’s authority more and more, raised the spoiled, rebellious, and intemperate Baby Boomers—who in turn raised the narcissists of Generation X—and have been denying they did anything wrong ever since.

I would urge you to be careful when saying things like “people like you,” since I’m sure you’ve reflexively absorbed the modern culture’s view of a great deal of things, and it’s unfair to say that everyone else should do likewise without even a hint of thought.

My immigrant grandmother became a lawyer in 1917 (she had been in the US for 6 years). And I really resent your calling her “morally degenerate.” HOW DARE YOU.

 

[Lea101]

I sat with adults most of my life, it was always easier to talk with adults rather than people my age. I still do it. I’ll be dropped off at youth group and talk with the parents until the meeting it starts up. Same at parties/family gatherings. So I was influenced with knowledgeable opinions.

What I mean by mature or odd is wanting to be something that isn’t thought-out fully. Wanting to traveling internationally? Costly, yea it’s fun but won’t get you anywhere. Lawyer? Not weird. Medical professional? Good if you can pay for med school. 1 or 2 kids? Population isn’t sustainable at that rate. Both parents working? Not what I want. Marrage older? Not what I’m call for but definitely understandable in this economy.

It’s all personal, I just wanted a simple opinion on something that was scratching my brain.

Traveling can be a passion. Expensive one of course, but some people have the money/go backpacking because they like to absorb the culture and meet different people. You can actually learn a lot. People take gap years for it. It’s not odd imo, unless the person uses all of his or her money on that. I like writing stories, it does not get me anywhere, but it’s just something I enjoy, if that makes sense

A poor kid can aspire to be a doctor. He or she would have to work harder for it. But I don’t think my goal of getting a Master’s degree is odd because I’m poor.

People don’t consciously have kids to sustain the population, nobody i know goes “Susie, we need to have another baby because the birth rate in our country is falling” some people cannot afford more than 2 kids. Although our faith says to accept all kids, it is not wrong to use NFP if you cannot afford another child at that time, according to many people here. I’m sure there are other problems a girl might have regarding the number of children she wants such as pain of labour, health, energy, etc. But as you can see, it varies a lot. A lot of women want more than 3 kids, a lot want less than that. Some men are also wary about having lots of children because of the cost. My dad and mom couldn’t control themselves and now my dad is stuck with 4 kids and we are struggling to keep the house. I was an accident, of course. I would not call them immature for wanting to have more kids than they could manage. I also would not call them immature if they wanted only 1 child. It’s all personal, like how you want lots of kids

Immaturity when it comes to kids could be when a woman delays marriage until she is 35/goes on birth control for a long time and then finds out she cannot have the 4 kids she always wanted. People should know that age and factor play a role in fertility. Or having kids but only focusing on your job and money. Or initially wanting lots of kids but after that, you blame your child for sucking up your money (personally i hate parents that blame the child for spending their money, they should be aware of the cost of having a child and not make the child feel guilty)

Both parents working + marrying older is a personal choice. For you, it’s not your cup of tea. For someone else, it is. So you can see it’s not ‘odd’ or immature, but it all depends on the person’s preference!

And I guess I can relate lol. But I don’t even join a youth group. I quit being a lector in church because everyone was so childish. Stupid reason, I know. But then again, I rather be left alone with my own thoughts than to talk to anybody in general

 

[scout_1]

My immigrant grandmother became a lawyer in 1917 (she had been in the US for 6 years). And I really resent your calling her “morally degenerate.” HOW DARE YOU.

You need to actually read his post. He said “they” referring to the woman prior to the greatest generation. Which is right. Most (80 to 90%) thought it was none of their business to vote and rejected the idea.

 

[scout_1]

Traveling can be a passion. Expensive one of course, but some people have the money/go backpacking because they like to absorb the culture and meet different people. You can actually learn a lot. People take gap years for it. It’s not odd imo, unless the person uses all of his or her money on that. I like writing stories, it does not get me anywhere, but it’s just something I enjoy, if that makes sense

A poor kid can aspire to be a doctor. He or she would have to work harder for it. But I don’t think my goal of getting a Master’s degree is odd because I’m poor.

People don’t consciously have kids to sustain the population, nobody i know goes “Susie, we need to have another baby because the birth rate in our country is falling” some people cannot afford more than 2 kids. Although our faith says to accept all kids, it is not wrong to use NFP if you cannot afford another child at that time, according to many people here. I’m sure there are other problems a girl might have regarding the number of children she wants such as pain of labour, health, energy, etc. But as you can see, it varies a lot. A lot of women want more than 3 kids, a lot want less than that. Some men are also wary about having lots of children because of the cost. My dad and mom couldn’t control themselves and now my dad is stuck with 4 kids and we are struggling to keep the house. I was an accident, of course. I would not call them immature for wanting to have more kids than they could manage. I also would not call them immature if they wanted only 1 child. It’s all personal, like how you want lots of kids

Immaturity when it comes to kids could be when a woman delays marriage until she is 35/goes on birth control for a long time and then finds out she cannot have the 4 kids she always wanted. People should know that age and factor play a role in fertility. Or having kids but only focusing on your job and money. Or initially wanting lots of kids but after that, you blame your child for sucking up your money (personally i hate parents that blame the child for spending their money, they should be aware of the cost of having a child and not make the child feel guilty)

Both parents working + marrying older is a personal choice. For you, it’s not your cup of tea. For someone else, it is. So you can see it’s not ‘odd’ or immature, but it all depends on the person’s preference!

And I guess I can relate lol. But I don’t even join a youth group. I quit being a lector in church because everyone was so childish. Stupid reason, I know. But then again, I rather be left alone with my own thoughts than to talk to anybody in general

You’re dissecting my post to too many fine points. Yes everyone is individual, yes there’s always someone who can, yes people are different, that’s who they are and i have no problem with that
Otherwise, when speaking in general terms we agree

 

[AdamP88]

Firstly, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to marry young. Ignore advice that 21-22 is “too young”. If you can work and make a living, and are mature enough then there’s no reason you can’t get married.

Many men struggle with sins of impurity. But that doesn’t mean you need to give up on finding a good wife. You have the potential to be a great husband and you sound like you’re on the right track. Keep praying and trust that God will lead you to your future spouse.

My advice would be not to have such a specific time period for marriage. These things happen in their own time and sometimes if you set a limit like that you can end up getting discouraged if you don’t meet the woman for you by that time. Give it time and have patience. God will take care of it if you place it in his hands.

God Bless

 

[RPRPsych]

It was only the women of the “Greatest Generation” era who suddenly found themselves working due to World War II. Women prior to that generation wouldn’t have looked at female lawyers as being “weird,” they would have found the idea to be morally degenerate. (And I’m not even going to begin to be open to the suggestion that the average woman of 2016 is better ordered morally than the average woman of 1916. Such propaganda is at least 30,000 leagues beneath contempt.)

The women of the Greatest Generation found themselves enjoying more financial freedom, consequently undermined their husband’s authority more and more, raised the spoiled, rebellious, and intemperate Baby Boomers—who in turn raised the narcissists of Generation X—and have been denying they did anything wrong ever since.

I would urge you to be careful when saying things like “people like you,” since I’m sure you’ve reflexively absorbed the modern culture’s view of a great deal of things, and it’s unfair to say that everyone else should do likewise without even a hint of thought.

Oh, yes, let’s blame a complex sociopolitical phenomenon on de wimmins! Whee! Fun! And while we’re about it, let’s tar entire generations with the same brush! Who needs Pius XII or Vatican Council II when we have LiamQ to tell us What’s Wrong With Modernity! Liam Q, we love you!

(Also, in traditional agrarian societies, women often worked as much as men. )

 

[Rosebud77]

Oh, yes, let’s blame a complex sociopolitical phenomenon on de wimmins! Whee! Fun! And while we’re about it, let’s tar entire generations with the same brush! Who needs Pius XII or Vatican Council II when we have LiamQ to tell us What’s Wrong With Modernity! Liam Q, we love you!

(Also, in traditional agrarian societies, women often worked as much as men. )

lol… Cannot believe some of this thread.

 

[RPRPsych]

lol… Cannot believe some of this thread.

Not to forget that the poster he was lashing out at is from Singapore, which has its own culture and never had a clear “baby boom” or “Gen X” phase. But, hey, who am I to judge?

Threads like this act as a sort of Rorschach test. Those who want to give advice or share experience, do so. Those who want to use it as a space to vent about their favourite enemies (be they women, Muslims, atheists, politicians, etc.) are gonna vent.

Moving on.

 

[scout_1]

Firstly, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to marry young. Ignore advice that 21-22 is “too young”. If you can work and make a living, and are mature enough then there’s no reason you can’t get married.

Many men struggle with sins of impurity. But that doesn’t mean you need to give up on finding a good wife. You have the potential to be a great husband and you sound like you’re on the right track. Keep praying and trust that God will lead you to your future spouse.

My advice would be not to have such a specific time period for marriage. These things happen in their own time and sometimes if you set a limit like that you can end up getting discouraged if you don’t meet the woman for you by that time. Give it time and have patience. God will take care of it if you place it in his hands.

God Bless

I’m starting to understand most of what you said.

I understand not to set a time period. But it’s hard to live without goals.
And I will start trusting in God rather than trying to control as much as I can.

Thank you

 

[Ben_Quincy]

Thread Warning

Discuss the topic, not each other.

 

[AdamP88]

I’m starting to understand most of what you said.

I understand not to set a time period. But it’s hard to live without goals.
And I will start trusting in God rather than trying to control as much as I can.

Thank you

Exactly. Also, you say you have had problems in the area of purity. I would suggest you get a regular confessor and get confession each time you fall. Pray the rosary. It’s a powerful weapon against impurity. And pray for your future spouse. Pray that you can be worthy of her love and that you can have the capacity to love her well and truly.

I catch myself lusting over girls on media or TV now and then, a big improvement from my past.

Also practice custody of the eyes. When you catch yourself doing this, stop and think, “Is this the kind of attitude that is respecting my future wife”.

I’ll keep you in my prayers.

God Bless

 

[scout_1]

Exactly. Also, you say you have had problems in the area of purity. I would suggest you get a regular confessor and get confession each time you fall. Pray the rosary. It’s a powerful weapon against impurity. And pray for your future spouse. Pray that you can be worthy of her love and that you can have the capacity to love her well and truly.

Also practice custody of the eyes. When you catch yourself doing this, stop and think, “Is this the kind of attitude that is respecting my future wife”.

I’ll keep you in my prayers.

God Bless

When I go to confession I usually see the same priest, and I am starting to go regularly.
I pray hail Marys but haven’t tried the rosary. Will do now.
Haven’t thought of that and will pray with that in mind.

I have tried that on some level but sometimes it doesn’t work, don’t know if It’s more will power I need or what.

 

[AdamP88]

When I go to confession I usually see the same priest, and I am starting to go regularly.
I pray hail Marys but haven’t tried the rosary. Will do now.
Haven’t thought of that and will pray with that in mind.

I have tried that on some level but sometimes it doesn’t work, don’t know if It’s more will power I need or what.

Will power can be developed. Think of it as spiritual/mental “muscle”. If you never train it it won’t ever get stronger. Sure, you’ll fall sometimes but hopefully less regularly with time. Always return to confession, keep praying, and don’t lose hope. God has a plan for you!

**For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future filled with hope.

Jer 29:11**

 

[scout_1]

Will power can be developed. Think of it as spiritual/mental “muscle”. If you never train it it won’t ever get stronger. Sure, you’ll fall sometimes but hopefully less regularly with time. Always return to confession, keep praying, and don’t lose hope. God has a plan for you!

**For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future filled with hope.

Jer 29:11**

I think get it now. I will continue and try.

Thank you!