G
grandiosa
Guest
Our parish is big and growing. We have outgrown our current church and are in the final stages of fundraising, planning and permitting to build a new church. We will probably break ground this summer, praise God!
Anyway, this means that in the winter when the older folks are here, having run from the cold weather to warmer climes (snowbirds), you have to get to church early to get a seat. You show up less than 20 minutes before Mass starts, and you are really pushing your luck. On Christmas and Easter, that means you better show up at least a half hour before Mass, or you may end up standing through the whole thing. Wearing heels and trying to corral five kids, 11 through 18 months… that’s a big deal. We regularly have overflow Masses in one of the church halls, and another offsite Mass at a school, during this time of year.
So anyway, we got to the church early enough to actually get seats for all of us in the church this year, which is rare. We usually end up in the overflow on Easter. An extended family sat behind us with two little girls. It was obvious to me that these little girls either never go to church, or go to a nursery or playroom if they do. They were having real trouble with controlling themselves, and their mother didn’t bother to modulate her voice to a quieter tone, either. During every song, she seemed to think it was just fine to chatter with her girls, in a fairly loud conversational voice.
I understand that that is just part of going to Mass on Christmas or Easter. There are people who go to Mass those two days of the year who never otherwise go. And, at least they are there on those days. I accept that it’s part of the deal.
Through the talking, and the coloring books, the loud questions and comments from the girls… I didn’t say anything. I understand that that mom was just trying to keep two little ones entertained for whom this is not usual. And Lord knows, my kids have had their times when I wanted to crawl under the pew and deny they are mine! Since I have had kids, I have become much less intolerant of people’s struggles with their little ones at Mass! I can ignore or even smile in sympathy at a lot!
However, when the mother brought out the clickety-clackety wind up Easter Bunny toy, I got irritated. I was hoping she would realize how loud and inappropriate it was after the first time or two she wound it up. No dice, there. Her girls were making it hop along on the back of the pew, and trying to get my daughter to play with it too. I scooped up my daughter and told her, “No, you can’t have that.” I was hoping that might be enough of a hint, but no dice again. Through the consecration and most of the later part of the Liturgy of the Eucharist, the mother kept winding up that toy and letting her daughters bang it on the pew, loudly. All I could think of was that the Body and Blood of Christ had just been consecrated by the priest and was sitting on the altar, and I couldn’t focus on that because of the bunny toy. I was also, I admit, offended by the mother’s total lack of respect for that fact. (Jesus’ Real Presence, not my inability to concentrate.) So I turned and said, “You know, that toy really is a little disrespectful. Could you please not wind it up again?” The look on her face told me she was majorly PO’ed.
Another woman in the group, I think her sister or SIL, said to me, “That’s not very Christian of you!” When I protested, she told me, “Be quiet! Act like a Christian!”
I was angry and embarrassed, but also very upset. I was near tears for the rest of Mass.
Was I a bad Christian? Did I encourage someone in her excuses about why she doesn’t go to church? I tend to think she would have found them without my help… But, does being Christian mean we just let anything and everything pass? I tried to be understanding of the difficulty that family had in taking kids to Mass who weren’t used to it. But I also thought that toy was way over the line. I tried to be polite when I asked her not to wind it up, but I also really felt that there was a total disrespect for the Eucharist going on, and I don’t apologize for saying that. I had trouble falling asleep last night thinking it over again and again. I am thinking about asking the priest next time I go to Confession if he thinks I need to repent of my action…
My husband supports me and thinks I was in the right. In fact, he said he couldn’t believe I didn’t say something sooner. He also said he was preparing himself to have to defend me physically, because he could tell they were really angry and he didn’t know what might happen in the parking lot… now that is nuts, that he even had to think that way at Mass. I didn’t pick up on anything that bad, but I wasn’t looking at any of the men in the group either.
Anyway, this means that in the winter when the older folks are here, having run from the cold weather to warmer climes (snowbirds), you have to get to church early to get a seat. You show up less than 20 minutes before Mass starts, and you are really pushing your luck. On Christmas and Easter, that means you better show up at least a half hour before Mass, or you may end up standing through the whole thing. Wearing heels and trying to corral five kids, 11 through 18 months… that’s a big deal. We regularly have overflow Masses in one of the church halls, and another offsite Mass at a school, during this time of year.
So anyway, we got to the church early enough to actually get seats for all of us in the church this year, which is rare. We usually end up in the overflow on Easter. An extended family sat behind us with two little girls. It was obvious to me that these little girls either never go to church, or go to a nursery or playroom if they do. They were having real trouble with controlling themselves, and their mother didn’t bother to modulate her voice to a quieter tone, either. During every song, she seemed to think it was just fine to chatter with her girls, in a fairly loud conversational voice.
I understand that that is just part of going to Mass on Christmas or Easter. There are people who go to Mass those two days of the year who never otherwise go. And, at least they are there on those days. I accept that it’s part of the deal.
Through the talking, and the coloring books, the loud questions and comments from the girls… I didn’t say anything. I understand that that mom was just trying to keep two little ones entertained for whom this is not usual. And Lord knows, my kids have had their times when I wanted to crawl under the pew and deny they are mine! Since I have had kids, I have become much less intolerant of people’s struggles with their little ones at Mass! I can ignore or even smile in sympathy at a lot!
However, when the mother brought out the clickety-clackety wind up Easter Bunny toy, I got irritated. I was hoping she would realize how loud and inappropriate it was after the first time or two she wound it up. No dice, there. Her girls were making it hop along on the back of the pew, and trying to get my daughter to play with it too. I scooped up my daughter and told her, “No, you can’t have that.” I was hoping that might be enough of a hint, but no dice again. Through the consecration and most of the later part of the Liturgy of the Eucharist, the mother kept winding up that toy and letting her daughters bang it on the pew, loudly. All I could think of was that the Body and Blood of Christ had just been consecrated by the priest and was sitting on the altar, and I couldn’t focus on that because of the bunny toy. I was also, I admit, offended by the mother’s total lack of respect for that fact. (Jesus’ Real Presence, not my inability to concentrate.) So I turned and said, “You know, that toy really is a little disrespectful. Could you please not wind it up again?” The look on her face told me she was majorly PO’ed.
Another woman in the group, I think her sister or SIL, said to me, “That’s not very Christian of you!” When I protested, she told me, “Be quiet! Act like a Christian!”
I was angry and embarrassed, but also very upset. I was near tears for the rest of Mass.
Was I a bad Christian? Did I encourage someone in her excuses about why she doesn’t go to church? I tend to think she would have found them without my help… But, does being Christian mean we just let anything and everything pass? I tried to be understanding of the difficulty that family had in taking kids to Mass who weren’t used to it. But I also thought that toy was way over the line. I tried to be polite when I asked her not to wind it up, but I also really felt that there was a total disrespect for the Eucharist going on, and I don’t apologize for saying that. I had trouble falling asleep last night thinking it over again and again. I am thinking about asking the priest next time I go to Confession if he thinks I need to repent of my action…
My husband supports me and thinks I was in the right. In fact, he said he couldn’t believe I didn’t say something sooner. He also said he was preparing himself to have to defend me physically, because he could tell they were really angry and he didn’t know what might happen in the parking lot… now that is nuts, that he even had to think that way at Mass. I didn’t pick up on anything that bad, but I wasn’t looking at any of the men in the group either.
One conversation doesn’t seem like much, but when the Basilica is packed full it adds up to a LOT of noise! The rector actually had to come up to the ambo and request that people maintain a respectful silence. Thankfully he got the message across. I told my DH, “Now I know why they call it a missal…because of all the times you want to fling it at people in church!” 
If he doesn’t have a book or something to mess with, he will try to destroy the missals.
