…Of course, the kid was told to remove the cap. No rebuke was issued to the ladies. Is this fair? …
Yes, it is and it is proper, mannerly and customary as well. Our culture has gotten away from using proper manners and most women have gotten away from wearing hats, while a lot of men still wear caps, but sadly do not know proper behavior while doing so. In any event, what you witnessed is proper and respectful for both parties in Church (the ladies kept their hats on and their heads covered and the gentleman was required to remove his hat). When I was growing up, as a female, I was required to have my head covered in Church by the nuns at school (though my parents did not require it on Sundays or Holy Days of Obligation because the requirement was changing). Now it is optional (though there is a debate raging about that), and certainly NOT disrespectful for a woman to cover her head in Church. The opposite is true for a man.
To illustrate my point, I did an internet search on hat etiquette and found a helpful site. I was looking for Emily Post or Miss Manners, but the site I found works to convey the information and some of the comments are amusing. Rules for wearing hats follow. (Granted, these are old-fashioned rules, but wearing hats is generally old-fashioned too, so it follows that the rules are as well.)
"…The Rules…
There are two degrees of politeness demonstrated by a gentleman wearing a hat:
1.Lifting or tipping it, which you generally do for strangers.
2.Taking it off, which you generally do for friends (or in some cases, as a sign of patriotism or reverence).
Both are done as a sign of respect toward the other and dignity toward oneself.
Tipping your hat is a conventional gesture, done by barely lifting it off your head with your right hand (or the left hand if the right hand is occupied): By the crown of a soft hat, or the brim of a stiff one. Your cigarette, pipe or cigar should always be taken out of your mouth before removing or tipping your hat. This is a subtle gesture that should not be confused with bowing.
A man takes off his hat outdoors (and indoors):
(1) when he is being introduced to someone, or when saying goodbye to a woman, elder, friend or ;
(2) as a greeting when passing someone he knows, particularly a lady, on the street (In some cases, tipping or lifting a hat and bowing slightly may be used as a substitute for removing a hat, as a passing gesture);
(3) while talking, particularly with a woman, an older man, or a clergyman;
(4) while the National Anthem is being played, or the American Flag is passing;
(5) at a funeral or in the presence of a passing funeral procession,
(6) when speaking to another of a virtuous woman or a dearly departed loved one.
A man tips or lifts his hat:
(1) when walking with a friend who passes a woman only the friend knows;
(2) any time a lady who is a stranger thanks you for some service or assistance;
(3) any time you excuse yourself to a woman stranger, such as if you accidentally disturb or jostle her in a crowd, or when you ask for pardon when passing in a tight space or when forced to walk between two people that are conversing, particularly if one is a woman;
(4) any time a stranger shows courtesy to a woman you are accompanying, such as when a man or woman picks up something she has dropped, or a man opens a door for her or gives her his seat;
(5) when you ask a woman (or an elderly man) for directions.
**Indoors, a man should always remove his hat, (particularly in a home, church, courtroom or restaurant) except:
(1) in some public buildings or public places such as railroad stations or post offices;
(2) in the main parlor area of a saloon or general store;
(3) or while seated at the “lunch counter” of a diner or cafe;
(4) in entrance halls and corridors of office buildings, or hotels;
(5) in elevators of public or office buildings, unless a woman is present;
(6) if carrying packages, parcels or bags and both hands are occupied upon entry.
(7) If the man is an actor or performer and the hat is being worn as a part of a costume or performance.
If in doubt, it is best for a gentleman to remove his hat indoors as soon as practical.
It is considered a sign of contempt and/or disrespect to leave your hat on when it would be proper to remove it. It is surprising how many people do not remove their hats for the National Anthem or a passing funeral procession… a shame really.
The Rules for women…
By and large, women are generally exempt from all of the preceeding rules, particularly if their hat is fastened (pinned or clipped) to their hair and difficult to remove easily. Therefore, women are and were allowed to wear a hat in a church, a courtroom or at a funeral… prettty much anywhere a man would not wear a hat, even today.**"…
Source:
bcvc.net/hats/
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