A
ac_claire
Guest
And nobody on this thread has suggested otherwise.
Indeed. Just be comfortable with your decision, pray for the grace to be able to make peace with it, whatever it is.
- Status
L
lareinatortura
Guest
Emphasis mine.
Um. . How do I begin this. . ?
Even though I’ve never veiled myself, I know what you mean. Honestly, I think it has to do with conviction. By conviction, I don’t mean literally pointing fingers to make someone feel like. . well, caca. By conviction, I mean. . showing someone what they should or should not be doing anymore by being an example. This isn’t done on purpose. It just comes along with doing the appropriate thing. In my experience, appropriate behavior seems to bring out TONS of opposition–people get snotty and say a person’s acting “holier than thou,” because he/she chooses to do the appropriate thing when others aren’t. . The others are probably thinking, “Dang it, he/she makes me look bad.” That mentality drives me NUTS. . Sigh.
S
steph31885
Guest
Yes this is all true, but in the canon does not have the authority to over rule sacred tradition that has been in place for over 1000’s years!! Wearing veils has been a sacred tradition since mary watched jesus die on the cross!! Even though the canon of 1983 failed to mention the wearing of veils, it does not mean that thousands of years of sacred tradition can be ignored…Funny you should bring this up b/c I just looked this up myself as there is a church nearby where i live that still does the old Latin Mass and encourages wearing veils. I didn’t think they were still mandatory, so I looked it up.
What your priest told you is only half the story: yes there was a miscommunication after Vatican 2 about wearing veils. I guess some reporter asked a bishop if veils would still be required after Vatican 2 and he said “no comment” but the story got printed as “veils won’t be required” so people stopped wearing them. Even when the Church said that it wasn’t true, so many people had stopped that the Church didn’t bother enforcing it. In 1983, however, the Church did officially remove the requirement from canon law. So up until 1983, your priest was correct.
I don’t wanna wear a veil, but maybe that’s b/c I’m young and don’t remember the days of veil-wearing women to church (I was just born in 1983 when the rule was removed, for goodness sakes) so maybe I see it as “old-fashioned”. I think it’s wonderful if your children wanna wear one, I don’t see what it can hurt!
A
ac_claire
Guest
Of course it doesn’t. I just wanted to say that I agree with your post 100%. I long for the good ol’ days and I don’t even remember them.
But it’s still a fact that the Church currently allows women to attend Mass with or without a head covering.So, a woman who doesn’t cover her head can’t be said to be breaking the rules or sinning because of it.
M
Maria1212
Guest
I thought I would chime in since I have been “lurking” on this thread for awhile. I lived in Japan for several years and remember starting a thread here inquiring about chapel veils. When I lived in Japan, I noticed at the Masses said in English (with mostly foreigners in attendance) women did not cover their head. But when I attended Mass in Japanese (where everyone was Japanese and I was the only foreigner) a significant number of women wore veils. I was intrigued because some of the people wearing veils were elderly and others were quite young.
I sometimes felt uncomfortable at the Japanese Mass because not everyone was welcoming but I really enjoyed Mass because it was so much more reverant and “traditional” than the English Mass. The congregation was also so much more respectful. It was not just the tone of the Liturgy, but people dressed much more modestly and acted like they were in God`s house rather than texting on their cell phones or chatting loudly with their neighbors.
At the time I felt called to learning more about Church tradition regarding the veil. Recently I discovered a local Church that offers the Mass in Latin so am going to attend that Mass one of these days. I have ordered a copy of the English-Latin Missal. I also ordered two veils from E-Bay. One of the posters on this thread recommended the website.
I am still praying about what the right personal decision for me is but I decided I would like to have the veil on hand. That way if I am traveling and the local custom is for women to wear a veil, I will be prepared. But more and more I am praying about whether I will start wearing one at Mass here in the United States as well.
I have noticed that posters get so defensive on this topic which mystifies me. Sometimes I think folks mistakenly assume others are judging them because that is what they perceive, even though it is not taking place. Who am I to judge whether someone covers their head at Mass? It is between then and God and is a very personal decision.
When I am at Mass my eyes are focused on the altar. When I am at Adoration my eyes are focused on Jesus, or are closed in prayer, so I am not even looking at the people around me.
I will stop rambling but I will end by expressing my gratitude to the OP for starting this thread. I have learned a lot by following it.
Sincerely,
Maria1212
I sometimes felt uncomfortable at the Japanese Mass because not everyone was welcoming but I really enjoyed Mass because it was so much more reverant and “traditional” than the English Mass. The congregation was also so much more respectful. It was not just the tone of the Liturgy, but people dressed much more modestly and acted like they were in God`s house rather than texting on their cell phones or chatting loudly with their neighbors.
At the time I felt called to learning more about Church tradition regarding the veil. Recently I discovered a local Church that offers the Mass in Latin so am going to attend that Mass one of these days. I have ordered a copy of the English-Latin Missal. I also ordered two veils from E-Bay. One of the posters on this thread recommended the website.
I am still praying about what the right personal decision for me is but I decided I would like to have the veil on hand. That way if I am traveling and the local custom is for women to wear a veil, I will be prepared. But more and more I am praying about whether I will start wearing one at Mass here in the United States as well.
I have noticed that posters get so defensive on this topic which mystifies me. Sometimes I think folks mistakenly assume others are judging them because that is what they perceive, even though it is not taking place. Who am I to judge whether someone covers their head at Mass? It is between then and God and is a very personal decision.
When I am at Mass my eyes are focused on the altar. When I am at Adoration my eyes are focused on Jesus, or are closed in prayer, so I am not even looking at the people around me.
I will stop rambling but I will end by expressing my gratitude to the OP for starting this thread. I have learned a lot by following it.
Sincerely,
Maria1212
F
firsttimeveiler
Guest
Hello all,
Over the past several years since my return to the Church, I have grown increasingly intrigued by the idea of veiling during Mass/prayer and in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament. In the past few weeks I have been learning more about this beautiful tradition, and I feel that God has placed this on my heart. The past few times I attended mass (unveiled), I felt such a strong desire to veil!
I looked at various websites which sell headcoverings, and I am intrigued by tiechels, but I also like how the mantilla veil looks. I discovered that one can also use a pashmina. I ordered a few different variations of headcovering last week and planned on beginning to veil at Ash Wednesday Mass (today). As the only items that had arrived thus far were the pashminas, I chose a white (I really love that color!) pashmina wrapped as a scarve and then pulled up (sort of like a hood).
As other women have said, I did feel more focused during the Mass. But at the same time, I kept feeling like everyone was staring at me. I sat in the back row, but as we had to go up twice (ashes and Holy Eucharist) and I was on the tail end, I really felt the eyes of everyone in that church. It was so distracting to me, and I keep telling myself that I should not assume that people are judging (who am I to assume the worst of others?). Perhaps after covering my head more and more, I will overcome this.
I knew I would feel this way… I do still feel very strongly called to this practice, and perhaps the pashmina pulled up like a hijab is not my “style” and I should try it with other hats, kerchiefs, or mantillas and see which one is best.
And thank you to all of you. Your posts have really encouraged me. I know that God has placed this in my heart, and I so I am going to continue to pursue headcovering, but perhaps I should begin with a more discrete covering…
Any more encouragement or ideas would really help. I suppose I will just keep trying.
Over the past several years since my return to the Church, I have grown increasingly intrigued by the idea of veiling during Mass/prayer and in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament. In the past few weeks I have been learning more about this beautiful tradition, and I feel that God has placed this on my heart. The past few times I attended mass (unveiled), I felt such a strong desire to veil!
I looked at various websites which sell headcoverings, and I am intrigued by tiechels, but I also like how the mantilla veil looks. I discovered that one can also use a pashmina. I ordered a few different variations of headcovering last week and planned on beginning to veil at Ash Wednesday Mass (today). As the only items that had arrived thus far were the pashminas, I chose a white (I really love that color!) pashmina wrapped as a scarve and then pulled up (sort of like a hood).
As other women have said, I did feel more focused during the Mass. But at the same time, I kept feeling like everyone was staring at me. I sat in the back row, but as we had to go up twice (ashes and Holy Eucharist) and I was on the tail end, I really felt the eyes of everyone in that church. It was so distracting to me, and I keep telling myself that I should not assume that people are judging (who am I to assume the worst of others?). Perhaps after covering my head more and more, I will overcome this.
I knew I would feel this way… I do still feel very strongly called to this practice, and perhaps the pashmina pulled up like a hijab is not my “style” and I should try it with other hats, kerchiefs, or mantillas and see which one is best.
And thank you to all of you. Your posts have really encouraged me. I know that God has placed this in my heart, and I so I am going to continue to pursue headcovering, but perhaps I should begin with a more discrete covering…
Any more encouragement or ideas would really help. I suppose I will just keep trying.
A
ac_claire
Guest
I *promise *you that this does get easier with time. You’ll just naturally become less self-conscious.
What ended up working best for me was a simple kerchief in a color (brown) similar to my natural haircolor. Like these. The one I have is the second one down from the top. I also have a lacy mantilla, but wear the kerchief much more than the mantilla.
N
NPalmby
Guest
I read nearly every post in this thread from beginning to end. Wearing a veil in Mass is something I’m currently praying about.
I want to thank everyone for the great information, links, and (name removed by moderator)ut!
I want to thank everyone for the great information, links, and (name removed by moderator)ut!
D
DebChris
Guest
Any time we try something new, it feels awkward. This thread has been going for awhile and I have not gone back to check it from the beginning so what I say may be from this thread or a similar one.
I like the fact that head dress is no longer mandated by Church law. The decision to don head dress or not remains with the woman. It becomes what it is meant to be, and not a fashion statement. I think the idea that we do not want to “stick out” also leads us to more modest and discrete head wear instead of ostentatious wear.
What do you wear on a weekly basis, as you go about your daily life? I like a simple beret or small plaid cap that I have. I did not bring them to the Middle East with me, but wore them to weekday Mass stateside.
As another person posted, I like the idea of a scarf that blends with the color of the hair. I received a long blue scarf for Christmas that I wear with my suit. On the other hand, Indian kemeez sets come with 2 meters of material for shawls. These I am having made into vests. Going overboard when it comes to adopting cultural dress is frowned against.
L
lareinatortura
Guest
Reply to Palmby (Hope I remembered how to spell that right. . ) and FirstTimeVeiler (Again, hope I didn’t forget the name. . o.o)
Palmby:
Great idea! Funny enough, it slipped my mind to pray about this–“In all things, pray.” So, thank you for reminding me! I’m going to pray about this, too.
FirstTime:
You mentioned Salwar Kameez. . I think those are awesome outfits. I want to learn how to use a sewing machine to make my own. They seem very casual, yet clean and just a little “dressy” looking without over-doing it. Also, they seem like perfect hot weather clothes. (Well, yes. . India is hot. . ) I think I should get hot on making some because it gets really hot where I am currently living–extremely humid. Drives me nuts. .
Palmby:
Great idea! Funny enough, it slipped my mind to pray about this–“In all things, pray.” So, thank you for reminding me! I’m going to pray about this, too.
FirstTime:
You mentioned Salwar Kameez. . I think those are awesome outfits. I want to learn how to use a sewing machine to make my own. They seem very casual, yet clean and just a little “dressy” looking without over-doing it. Also, they seem like perfect hot weather clothes. (Well, yes. . India is hot. . ) I think I should get hot on making some because it gets really hot where I am currently living–extremely humid. Drives me nuts. .
N
NPalmby
Guest
I’m glad I could help!
E
eiram
Guest
Hello,
I have been reading some of the replys on this subject and I was just thinking, I can remember back in the late 1950’s if a woman would go to mass without her veil on…the whole church would wonder who that woman was and what her problem was. She would be stared at and some of the other women in church might even offer to “loan” her an extra veil that they have, a handkerchief, or even a tissue so she could cover her head. Women wearing a hat or veil to church was a very big deal back then, husbands would even let their wives know if the veil was slipping off of their hair!
I have been researching this subject. For many years, I wondered when the Pope said “women no longer had to cover their heads in church”. I learned that the Pope never said that women didn’t have to cover their heads in church anymore. The Catholic church was having problems with some Catholics no longer attending mass, among other things. He had to make many decisions, BUT, deciding if women had to cover their heads in church was NOT one of those decisions. Wearing of the veil was a minor thing compared to many other subjects that needed his attention. So when a news conference was held to announce what was decided on by the Vatican and a reporter asked if women had to wear a veil in church, the man giving the announcements for the Vatican told the truth…that subject was not discussed. The reporter misinterpreted what was actually said, and the rest is history. Women putting on a veil in church was a 2,000 year old tradition and among other things, a sign of respect. I am happy to read about women are going back to covering their heads again. Veiling or wearing a hat in church won’t be a “weird” thing once the people attending the same church get used to seeing the women doing it all the time. Who knows, maybe this is all part of God’s plan…he does work in mysterious ways.
I have been reading some of the replys on this subject and I was just thinking, I can remember back in the late 1950’s if a woman would go to mass without her veil on…the whole church would wonder who that woman was and what her problem was. She would be stared at and some of the other women in church might even offer to “loan” her an extra veil that they have, a handkerchief, or even a tissue so she could cover her head. Women wearing a hat or veil to church was a very big deal back then, husbands would even let their wives know if the veil was slipping off of their hair!
I have been researching this subject. For many years, I wondered when the Pope said “women no longer had to cover their heads in church”. I learned that the Pope never said that women didn’t have to cover their heads in church anymore. The Catholic church was having problems with some Catholics no longer attending mass, among other things. He had to make many decisions, BUT, deciding if women had to cover their heads in church was NOT one of those decisions. Wearing of the veil was a minor thing compared to many other subjects that needed his attention. So when a news conference was held to announce what was decided on by the Vatican and a reporter asked if women had to wear a veil in church, the man giving the announcements for the Vatican told the truth…that subject was not discussed. The reporter misinterpreted what was actually said, and the rest is history. Women putting on a veil in church was a 2,000 year old tradition and among other things, a sign of respect. I am happy to read about women are going back to covering their heads again. Veiling or wearing a hat in church won’t be a “weird” thing once the people attending the same church get used to seeing the women doing it all the time. Who knows, maybe this is all part of God’s plan…he does work in mysterious ways.
A
Alexandra
Guest
I have spent the past 15 years as a member of a very conservative Plain church. Think Amish like with cars 
So I have worn an Amish like covering full time for that long. The first time I wore it I felt like the world was looking at me. With time that went away and I hardly ever think about it. In fact if someone stares at me I wonder “Is my slip showing?” I am in the process of coming back to the church and am going through much of what you all are going through as to deciding what to wear on my head. The difference being that I plan to continue to cover full time. I have made a couple of brimmed veils out of white poly-cotton but am considering making those scarves with ties that we used to wear about 1966. A triangle with ties made out of colors other than white. So even though I have been covering full time for that long I am still now having the same problem deciding what to wear.
So I have worn an Amish like covering full time for that long. The first time I wore it I felt like the world was looking at me. With time that went away and I hardly ever think about it. In fact if someone stares at me I wonder “Is my slip showing?” I am in the process of coming back to the church and am going through much of what you all are going through as to deciding what to wear on my head. The difference being that I plan to continue to cover full time. I have made a couple of brimmed veils out of white poly-cotton but am considering making those scarves with ties that we used to wear about 1966. A triangle with ties made out of colors other than white. So even though I have been covering full time for that long I am still now having the same problem deciding what to wear.
N
NPalmby
Guest
I’ve decided to start wearing a veil in Mass.
It was something I as thinking/praying about, and I decided that, if I did, I’d wear a scarf as a veil. So I went to Target one day with Hubby, and found the perfect scarf in the color I wanted for less than five dollars! I bought it and wore it to Mass the next day. It felt completely natural, and Hubby even commented after Mass (unprompted) that I looked pretty with it on.
I’m glad I made this decision for myself and my faith walk!
It was something I as thinking/praying about, and I decided that, if I did, I’d wear a scarf as a veil. So I went to Target one day with Hubby, and found the perfect scarf in the color I wanted for less than five dollars! I bought it and wore it to Mass the next day. It felt completely natural, and Hubby even commented after Mass (unprompted) that I looked pretty with it on.
I’m glad I made this decision for myself and my faith walk!
S
Sierrah
Guest
I hate those little veils I see ladies where in church sometime. I would prefer a full scarf if I chose to do something like that.
L
lizaanne
Guest
Please consider joining this group for women who cover: forums.catholic-questions.org/group.php?groupid=496
We are a pretty friendly group!
~Liza
We are a pretty friendly group!
~Liza
D
DebChris
Guest
Just don’t want to go as far as an Indian shawl. There’s as much materiial in one of those as there is in my kameez top. When I find a scarf the right size, I have asked the muslims I work with if they will show me how to wear it. In the meantime, I do have a scarf that I throw over my head with one tail over my shoulder. It was a Christmas present from my roommate.
N
NPalmby
Guest
This is how I wear my scarf, as well. I put it on before we leave, just wrapped loosely around my shoulders. Then, before I go into the church, I pull the back up over my head. It works quite nicely.
D
DebChris
Guest
Just need some other colors than the dusty blue I have. Received a compliment from an Arab gentleman who saw me in my grey pantsuit with the scarf around my shoulders. I know it was the scarf that earned the compliment.
Here, everybody also removes shoes before praying before the Blessed Sacrament. Removing shoes for prayer is something I have been doing for years, after reading God’s command to Moses. “Take off your sandals, for this is holy ground.”
What I do not like is how I look in a scarf tied under my chin.
N
NPalmby
Guest
I want to get some other colors as well. I chose brown for my first scarf (before I looked at the store) because I wear earth tones so often. I figured it would coordinate with most of my wardrobe. It was simply coincidence (or divine intervention?) I found a brown scarf on sale!
- Status