Weddings we shouldn't attend?

[Nov1411]

I know that, as Catholics, we cannot attend a homosexual “wedding”, because that would be giving our approval of it, correct? So, I was wondering what other kind of weddings we weren’t really allowed to attend.

Say a divorced Catholic (who refuses to get an annulment) is going to marry someone who isn’t even Christian. Now, since that person is essentially committing adultery, would it be wrong to attend the wedding? Even if it’s your sibling?

 

[Corki]

There is no hard and fast “rule”. It is just common sense that you wouldn’t want to celebrate a wedding that you know for certain isn’t valid - such as a Catholic remarrying or marrying outside the Church. That being said, when it comes to family, I have heard many priests say that you have to weigh each situation individually. If you are faced with this issue for a sibling, you should seek advice from your priest or spiritual director. No, we don’t want to appear to support them in thier sin but we also don’t want to hurt others in the process.

 

[1ke]

I know that, as Catholics, we cannot attend a homosexual “wedding”, because that would be giving our approval of it, correct?

You cannot attend a same sex wedding because there is no such thing, like a round square or a 4 sided triangle, a same sex marriage is a non-thing. It is a false attempt to marry. You cannot support it in any way.

So, I was wondering what other kind of weddings we weren’t really allowed to attend.

The Church does not say you are "allowed’ or "not allowed’ to attend weddings of any particular sort. In all cases, these are prudential judgments that must weigh many factors. One in such a situation should always seek the guidance of their pastor.

That said, **in general **one should not support an invalid attempt at marriage-- thing such as:

• remarriages of those who have a prior bond (divorce/remarriage without a decree of nullity)
• marriages of Catholics who fail to follow Catholic teaching on marriage such as marrying outside Catholic form

Say a divorced Catholic (who refuses to get an annulment) is going to marry someone who isn’t even Christian. Now, since that person is essentially committing adultery, would it be wrong to attend the wedding? Even if it’s your sibling?

Maybe. Again, pastoral guidance is necessary. It would certainly be inappropriate to act as a formal witness (i.e. a bridesmaid or groomsman) but there may be cases when your priest would advise you that attending either the ceremony or the reception may be permissible.

 

[lerapt78]

Eh, that’s a sticky situation. About 8 years ago, a homosexual cousin of mine was talking seriously about getting married to his partner in Massachusetts. I am close to him and decided that, despite my disapproval of the idea, I would have gone if only to show my love for him. The marriage never ended up taking place, as they split a year later, and therefore removed any conflict I was feeling. But I can’t really say what someone else should or should not do in this situation. If it were someone I did not care for deeply, I probably wouldn’t attend.

 

[WingsOfEagles]

I don’t think we are banned from attending any events. I think actually some priests will say that if it is a family member (esp. a sibling), it may be better to attend because if you blow off an event like that you may do permanent damage to your relationship with that person.

 

[khuldar]

Even if you disagreed about the wedding wouldn’t it be best (from a personal relationship point of view) to attend? Not necessarily in support of the wedding but in support of the people themselves?

Jesus came to love all people regardless of how they had/have chosen to live their lives & we should do the same thing. Yes I agree that there are “weddings” that won’t be right in the eyes of the church & that’s a fact in the society we live in, But this shouldn’t prevent us from making our feelings known (if asked), my wife & I have been through this recently with a close friend of ours. We told her how we felt but attended anyway to show our support, however hard it was to share we feel the relationship has now gotten stronger because we can share that sort of thing.

It is situational though…

 

[Mrs_Sally]

We do not always know the state of people remarrying, which makes it harder to judge. In the case of a sibling, you would have an insider’s view on whether or not previous marriage(s) were annulled. For a friend, co-worker or more distant relative, you may not.

It isn’t our duty to go around checking everyone’s marriage papers either, so we need to judge each case individually. In certain cases it is relatively easy to get out of attending - distance, time, expense, etc. In others, it will be near impossible, and in those cases it may be better to attend an so preserve our ability to influence the person for the good, than refuse to attend and be cut off from any further relationship.

 

[Joan_M]

Even if you disagreed about the wedding wouldn’t it be best (from a personal relationship point of view) to attend? Not necessarily in support of the wedding but in support of the people themselves? **Why would you support people who are determined to commit mortal sin? Any attendance at such events will give the impression that you are in favor of what they are doing - that is, in fact, what support means. **

Jesus came to love all people regardless of how they had/have chosen to live their lives & we should do the same thing. **Jesus came to redeem all people. He also told the sinners to repent and sin no more. **Yes I agree that there are “weddings” that won’t be right in the eyes of the church & that’s a fact in the society we live in, But this shouldn’t prevent us from making our feelings known (if asked), my wife & I have been through this recently with a close friend of ours. We told her how we felt but attended anyway to show our support, however hard it was to share we feel the relationship has now gotten stronger because we can share that sort of thing. **Again “support”. What were you supporting? Mortal sin! **

It is situational though…

**It is not situational. We cannot support people in offending God. We, too, would be guilty of offending God by “supporting” friends or relatives in committing themselves to living a life of mortal sin. **

 

[khuldar]

**It is not situational. We cannot support people in offending God. We, too, would be guilty of offending God by “supporting” friends or relatives in committing themselves to living a life of mortal sin. **

that sounds very judgmental…

Wouldn’t it be better to show the love of Christ and support the person/people concerned? Seems to be better than pouting that someone isn’t obeying Christ, at least you would have an opportunity to minister to them.

 

[Nov1411]

Thanks for the replies! I’m going to speak with my priest about this.

You cannot attend a same sex wedding because there is no such thing, like a round square or a 4 sided triangle, a same sex marriage is a non-thing. It is a false attempt to marry. You cannot support it in any way.

I know it’s a non-thing. That’s why my family has already decided that if my homosexual cousin ever gets “married,” we, in good conscience, could not attend.

That said, **in general **one should not support an invalid attempt at marriage-- thing such as:

• remarriages of those who have a prior bond (divorce/remarriage without a decree of nullity)
• marriages of Catholics who fail to follow Catholic teaching on marriage such as marrying outside Catholic form

That’s my sibling. Well actually, both parts apply to one of my siblings and the 2nd part applies to another one.

 

[superamazingman]

that sounds very judgmental…

Wouldn’t it be better to show the love of Christ and support the person/people concerned? Seems to be better than pouting that someone isn’t obeying Christ, at least you would have an opportunity to minister to them.

There’s nothing wrong with judging. We’re judging actions, not people’s souls. And when the action is an intrinsic evil, we should not participate.

Don’t forget that “love” doesn’t mean “nice”. There’s also tough love that is often needed.

 

[1ke]

that sounds very judgmental…

Wouldn’t it be better to show the love of Christ and support the person/people concerned? Seems to be better than pouting that someone isn’t obeying Christ, at least you would have an opportunity to minister to them.

The loving thing to do is sincere fraternal correction. It is not loving to let someone sin gravely without attempting to stop them and help them. Their eternal soul is in danger.

 

[curlycool89]

The loving thing to do is sincere fraternal correction. It is not loving to let someone sin gravely without attempting to stop them and help them. Their eternal soul is in danger.

Exactly.

To truly love someone in full charity is to care for their immortal soul and their salvation. It is false charity to try and not “hurt someone’s feelings” when it is encouraging them to sin.

 

[corsair]

I agree with Joan M and sueramazingman. Evil is evil and you don’t compromise with it.

As for being judgemental; we make judgemental decisions every day. And we should. Its necessary for an ordered society.

 

[Irishgal49]

There is no hard and fast “rule”. It is just common sense that you wouldn’t want to celebrate a wedding that you know for certain isn’t valid - such as a Catholic remarrying or marrying outside the Church. That being said, when it comes to family, I have heard many priests say that you have to weigh each situation individually. If you are faced with this issue for a sibling, you should seek advice from your priest or spiritual director. No, we don’t want to appear to support them in thier sin but we also don’t want to hurt others in the process.

Great advice!

 

[charlc]

khuldar:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joan M

It is not situational. We cannot support people in offending God. We, too, would be guilty of offending God by “supporting” friends or relatives in committing themselves to living a life of mortal sin.

that sounds very judgmental…

Wouldn’t it be better to show the love of Christ and support the person/people concerned? Seems to be better than pouting that someone isn’t obeying Christ, at least you would have an opportunity to minister to them.

Posted from Catholic.com App for Android

 

[charlc]

charlc:

Quote:

Originally Posted by khuldar

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joan M

It is not situational. We cannot support people in offending God. We, too, would be guilty of offending God by “supporting” friends or relatives in committing themselves to living a life of mortal sin.

that sounds very judgmental…

Wouldn’t it be better to show the love of Christ and support the person/people concerned? Seems to be better than pouting that someone isn’t obeying Christ, at least you would have an opportunity to minister to them.

Posted from Catholic.com App for Android

Discernment is one of the gifts God the Holy Ghost gives us as children of God. I do not consider it judgemental, shearing my conviction with my sibling or friend that is wanting to have gay marriage. I will like to ask myself: will Jesus attend a gay marriage? I want to believe that my Lord will tell gay persons to repent and sin no more. I will love to save the life of my sibling by insisting on the way and praying for his conversation. Joining in celebrating a sinful act will not be part of my support to him.

Posted from Catholic.com App for Android

 

[Jessup]

I plan on having a Star Wars wedding myself, or a Planet of the Apes wedding, or Lord of the Rings. I think it will be up to my future wife to decide which one is best for us.
Since apparently getting married by a sea captain isn’t a sacramental wedding. I think the rest of these are ok

Cheers!

 

[Vico]

I know that, as Catholics, we cannot attend a homosexual “wedding”, because that would be giving our approval of it, correct? So, I was wondering what other kind of weddings we weren’t really allowed to attend.

Say a divorced Catholic (who refuses to get an annulment) is going to marry someone who isn’t even Christian. Now, since that person is essentially committing adultery, would it be wrong to attend the wedding? Even if it’s your sibling?

It is scandal. And applies to marrying without approval of the Church where at least one is Catholic.

Catholic Doors wrote:

By attending such a marriage, you are giving your seal of approval to the Catholic who is getting married, silently saying that what he is about to do is okay. By attending such a marriage, you become guilty of his sin. One can sin many ways as is seen below:
(1) By counsel (if you advised him to go ahead with the marriage);
(2) By command;
(3) By consent (if you agreed it is alright);
(4) By provocation;
(5) By praise or flattery;
(6) By concealment;
(7) By partaking (if you attended);
(8) By silence (if you said nothing about the rejection of his faith);
(9) By defense of the ill done (by defending his action).

 

[Corki]

I plan on having a Star Wars wedding myself, or a Planet of the Apes wedding, or Lord of the Rings. I think it will be up to my future wife to decide which one is best for us.
Since apparently getting married by a sea captain isn’t a sacramental wedding. I think the rest of these are ok

Cheers!

Good luck with that!