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tarboy
Guest
cjm, I saw that after I posted, and it was too late to edit my postIf he has a trust fund, he needs to being paying off that $200K debt.
Lily, your husband has to start contributing financially or it will never work.
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Lily, your husband has to start contributing financially or it will never work.
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lily20
Guest
Ok, I will try to get him to be more productive. The trust fund is for him after his parents die not before, otherwise we would have a house already. His parents offered us unlimited free stay at their 4000 square foot place. This is of course impossible considering their spiritual beliefs for me and my husbandâs unhealthy closeness to his mom. I would be the third wheel in my own marriage, with his mom in full control. My husband has already complained to me multiple times about wanting to move back in with her so everything is for âfreeâ and he will never have to grow-up. Selling you soul = NOT free and I said NO.
I told my husband yesterday that I would be willing to work in LA in exchange to move there, and he finishes his school and we both watch our son. Ultimately though I think I would be miserable taking care of 2 sons (meaning my 7 month old and him). But if we donât move I will have to be a welfare mom as my employment is down south area. Maybe this is OK though. Also maybe if he gets away from his mom he can begin to recover spiritually.
I do not really want to work as I always wanted to be a housewife and mother and raise many children (the last part of my dream is gone I guess). I cannot control my husband though, and he made it clear he is not separating from his mom.
Thanks in advance for prayers and advice.
I told my husband yesterday that I would be willing to work in LA in exchange to move there, and he finishes his school and we both watch our son. Ultimately though I think I would be miserable taking care of 2 sons (meaning my 7 month old and him). But if we donât move I will have to be a welfare mom as my employment is down south area. Maybe this is OK though. Also maybe if he gets away from his mom he can begin to recover spiritually.
I do not really want to work as I always wanted to be a housewife and mother and raise many children (the last part of my dream is gone I guess). I cannot control my husband though, and he made it clear he is not separating from his mom.
Thanks in advance for prayers and advice.
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Mayita30
Guest
Lily,
You already know the answer to your problem. The problem is how his mom raised him. His mom raised him to be lazy and dependent on her so that she will forever feel important in his life but we both know that that is a recipe foro disaste in every marriage.
If you get a chanec to move to another state, do it to protect your family but do not tell him you are doing this to stay away from his family´s influence. Make your moves but do not be obvoius as to why you are doing it. Continue praying to God for your husband´s conversion and try to make small talks in why being productive is very important. Your child´s father should set a good example for your kid.
Is your husband the only child? Why does mom in law cling and depend on him very much?
You already know the answer to your problem. The problem is how his mom raised him. His mom raised him to be lazy and dependent on her so that she will forever feel important in his life but we both know that that is a recipe foro disaste in every marriage.
If you get a chanec to move to another state, do it to protect your family but do not tell him you are doing this to stay away from his family´s influence. Make your moves but do not be obvoius as to why you are doing it. Continue praying to God for your husband´s conversion and try to make small talks in why being productive is very important. Your child´s father should set a good example for your kid.
Is your husband the only child? Why does mom in law cling and depend on him very much?
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lily20
Guest
Thank you!! A little bit of light in my day. I DO want my husbandâs soul to be saved from this evil, even if it is just secondary right now through some of my faith, and that is why I continue to endure hardships-- that, and for my SONâS SPIRIT!!! I canât bear to see that he would fall to such strange morals, and I would NEVER want anyone to just leave me in this situation to rotâŚwith no one around to say anything is any different. Of course, I canât control what happens to him nor can I convert anyone, only Our Lord can, but I can be a little bit of light in the darkness even if my husband never sees it.
She clings because she has low self-worth. I do feel empathy for her. Also something must be wrong with her marriage. The clinging should be to God and Husband second, not sons first. She is verbally abused by her husband.
I donât analyze her too much, it would drive me insane. Their âSPIRITUALITYâ of channeling is terrible on oneâs self-worth, while inflating oneâs âegoâ = power and control. Itâs satanâs lie. She said to me once, âyou always want to stay in control.â I think the opposite, I want NO control, and no self, only Godâs!!! So I only want to act to them as Christ would. Itâs the hardest thing EVER.
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tarboy
Guest
my additional 2c 
- the money from his parents may not be there. Medical costs for the parents, random lawsuit or even market whims may cause the assets to shrink and disappear.
- you need to discuss your dream with your husband, so you can talk through having more children and whether he can step up and support the family (independant of his parents) Donât keep this dream to yourself, that is not fair since it only builds resentment
- moving away and having clear responsibilities between both of you will give him the opportunity to âman-upâ and grow up. Finishing his school is a good thing, if there is a career on the other side.
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Mayita30
Guest
Lily
I understand perfectly because our situation is sort of similar in a way that my MIL is catholic in name with a little pagan beliefs, FIL is mason and recently SIL has become a new ager and is trying to endoctrinate MIL. I am however sort of lucky because husband himself tries to stay away from them eversince I met him. At first I thought there was something worng with him and how could he do that to his family and I tried to bridge the relationship but it did no good to the famiy. Why didnt it do any good? Because there is no grace, God is not present there. It only brought havoc to my relationship. If prayer gives you grace, what do you think is the result of those masonic things and new age things they doâŚI would say the oppositeâŚ
So right now, after going to confession and consulting with the priest, I was told that my first priority was to defend my marriage That does not mean that you bad mouth your inlaws but you stay away from them. Don´t even mention them with your conversation with your husband. If he tells you something about his mother, just listen and don´t add anything and talk about your son instead and how you can be good parents, how you can be a productie member of soceityâŚetcâŚ
Your husband does not have the right formation because he did not get this from his parents. Thats why you should pray double time and help him get up on his two feet and be independnt and be a productive member of soceity. Not all marriages are perfect but it is in our struggle that we feel closer to Christ. Remember. Christ said âtake up your cross and follow Me!â
I understand perfectly because our situation is sort of similar in a way that my MIL is catholic in name with a little pagan beliefs, FIL is mason and recently SIL has become a new ager and is trying to endoctrinate MIL. I am however sort of lucky because husband himself tries to stay away from them eversince I met him. At first I thought there was something worng with him and how could he do that to his family and I tried to bridge the relationship but it did no good to the famiy. Why didnt it do any good? Because there is no grace, God is not present there. It only brought havoc to my relationship. If prayer gives you grace, what do you think is the result of those masonic things and new age things they doâŚI would say the oppositeâŚ
So right now, after going to confession and consulting with the priest, I was told that my first priority was to defend my marriage That does not mean that you bad mouth your inlaws but you stay away from them. Don´t even mention them with your conversation with your husband. If he tells you something about his mother, just listen and don´t add anything and talk about your son instead and how you can be good parents, how you can be a productie member of soceityâŚetcâŚ
Your husband does not have the right formation because he did not get this from his parents. Thats why you should pray double time and help him get up on his two feet and be independnt and be a productive member of soceity. Not all marriages are perfect but it is in our struggle that we feel closer to Christ. Remember. Christ said âtake up your cross and follow Me!â
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lily20
Guest
Yeah, it gets SOO weird with them. Basically the In-laws have a âcommuneâ in which the 3 sons, wives and kids are invited for free to live and âworshipâ their channeling beliefs and in which they are âsuperiorâ beings coming from âthe reincarnation of ancient philosophersâ and the sons bought it. My MIL and FIL also work as consultants for our govât so you can see how backwards this is, and scary for the sake of our politics.
I will move us out of here in October since our son is still too young for me to make a huge transition right now. If itâs Godâs Will it will happen.
Right now my DH is on the phone with his dad and they were talking really weird about the plans for âtheirâ property. Itâs so backwards.
I will move us out of here in October since our son is still too young for me to make a huge transition right now. If itâs Godâs Will it will happen.
Right now my DH is on the phone with his dad and they were talking really weird about the plans for âtheirâ property. Itâs so backwards.
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lily20
Guest
As for my husbandâs work after school, he wants to start a wilderness business in which he takes young men out into the wilderness in isolation for âcoming of ageâ (ironic, isnât it?) experiences. Iâm afraid that he will corrupt many. That is especially why I am so concerned to get him out of this stuff.
He also leads âdream workâ where he tells people symbolism of his dreams. He only likes non-biblical texts and hates the bible and calls it a âmythology.â He things ancient (pagan) customs are real. He is HIGHLY arrogant and intelligent, and can make me think anything is stupid, to the point that real obvious things become not true for me.
I have been advising him to get a job and do individual counseling (heâs a psychologist, so are his parents).
Anyway, thanks again for your many prayers. They DO help.
He also leads âdream workâ where he tells people symbolism of his dreams. He only likes non-biblical texts and hates the bible and calls it a âmythology.â He things ancient (pagan) customs are real. He is HIGHLY arrogant and intelligent, and can make me think anything is stupid, to the point that real obvious things become not true for me.
I have been advising him to get a job and do individual counseling (heâs a psychologist, so are his parents).
Anyway, thanks again for your many prayers. They DO help.
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