Weird in-laws/what to do

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EasterJoy said:
This is one of the reasons you have a pastor. Make an appointment so that you can talk about this at length. Write out your questions, so you don’t forget the situations you want to ask about. Pray at length before you see him, to ask for the guidance of the Holy Spirit; it does make a difference.
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:clapping::clapping::clapping:
 
My paster knows of the situation already and he wanted to know if i could move out of the house. i have moved around a lot and i’m too tired to move again and with the threat of losing my son and not having enough work to pay rent.

our marriage is not blessed and i have two options-- see if there’s a change of heart or annul. obviously blessing it is not possible for the above reasons. how long do i wait to find out.

i doubt my husband will procure work as he is 33 and has never worked and his mom babies him (his words of being hard-working were blowing smoke i’m realizing). also he has an inheritance to cover him until death.

i know i’m stuck but with God i’m not stuck. my heart is fragile and humility is found always here.
 
Didn’t you know all this before you married him? I don’t understand how you ever thought a man in his 30s who’s never held a job was good marriage material. How long did you know him before marrying? Did you have some idea that it would all change, that he would somehow radically change, after marriage? I am trying to understand how you ended up here.
 
JacarandaPurple said:
Didn’t you know all this before you married him? I don’t understand how you ever thought a man in his 30s who’s never held a job was good marriage material. How long did you know him before marrying? Did you have some idea that it would all change, that he would somehow radically change, after marriage? I am trying to understand how you ended up here.
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The answer here is: naivite, ignorance and also lack of faith.

I decided last night that I will separate from him. please keep me in your prayers.
 
lily20 said:
The answer here is: naivite, ignorance and also lack of faith.

I decided last night that I will separate from him. please keep me in your prayers.
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Lily,

If you think you can save your marriage, then put in your best effort. I think the main problem is not religion. The main problem is that your husband should look for a job and support his family and be a productive member of soceity. By not having a job, he is spending his time with his mother and that is very unhealthy. He should learn to grow up, leave his mother and be with his family.

Please keep us posted. I have been praying for you. Take care !!!
 
Your prayers are WORKING!! I’ve been talking to my husband about moving out-of-state, where I can procure some gainful employment. He is open to it. We would then be very far from his parents. He though would not work. If I asked him to move in order to work, he wouldn’t do it at all. It would be for us to get away from the "channeling/"controlling in-laws.

It’s not a complete solution… but it’s a start.
 
lily20 said:
Your prayers are WORKING!! I’ve been talking to my husband about moving out-of-state, where I can procure some gainful employment. He is open to it. We would then be very far from his parents. He though would not work. If I asked him to move in order to work, he wouldn’t do it at all. It would be for us to get away from the "channeling/"controlling in-laws.

It’s not a complete solution… but it’s a start.
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Let me ask you…What in the world did you marry this bum for??? He refuses to work?? :mad::eek:

Do what you need to do in order to get your kids away from this madness. If he has to come along, so be it. You just have another dependent to take care of, instead of a partner.

🤷
 
A man out of work through layoff is one thing…
But a man who WON’T work? I can’t think of a less attractive person. Yuck.

Be careful about isolating yourself from your support system with no one to depend on but clearly disordered man who does not put your needs first. That could be VERY dangerous!
 
Lily can u do an activity together like charity work. Go to orphanages n see how u can help. That way he can be productive meanwhile try to look for a job in a diff state God bless!
 
Lily,
My sister’s husband is a stay at home dad. He works very hard keeping the pre-school kids active and getting the school age kids to-from their activities, medical/dental appointments. He’s active in the PTA, kids athletic leagues, etc. It works for them.
Being a stay at home parent, can be a very demanding job if you do it right. I'll be praying for you. Perhaps that kind of situation will work out well for you both.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
Let me ask you…What in the world did you marry this bum for??? He refuses to work?? :mad::eek:

Do what you need to do in order to get your kids away from this madness. If he has to come along, so be it. You just have another dependent to take care of, instead of a partner.

🤷
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Sad but true.

He is really great at “blowing smoke” that’s why I married him. Charming, handsome, phd candidate, good listener, attentive, caring, sweet-- all the things to knock me off my feet!

Here’s the reality: 200K in debt with no motivation to work… ever.
 
If I wear the “pants” so to speak and he stays at home, won’t I feel like a man though instead of a woman? Isn’t this not the grace of womanhood as we strive to be like our perfect mother Mary?

Just wondering… although yes I see how it could work. Just was hoping to pass the career thing to him while I was going to be a homemaker.
 
Other good news, and thank you for your prayers! My husband is not going to teach our son to “channel spirits” and his parents have been told that. Praise Jesus!!! I hope this is true, if anything is. Me having to babysit my husband/work=tiring but fine. Headache of immature husband=hard but ok. Corrupting my son with channeling= UNACCEPTABLE.

Also, just to make it clear how much I am worried about my husband’s and son’s soul, I will endure much hardship so that they can both stay clear out of these things.
 
lily20 said:
Sad but true.

He is really great at “blowing smoke” that’s why I married him. Charming, handsome, phd candidate, good listener, attentive, caring, sweet-- all the things to knock me off my feet!

Here’s the reality: 200K in debt with no motivation to work… ever.
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:eek::eek::eek:

Wow. That’s a lot of debt! What in the world does he think life is about anyway? I guess he’s channeling the spirit of sloth!

:mad:
 
I would inform him that he needs to find a job or leave.
But that’s just me.
 
Thanks, yes I tried that. If I give him an ultimatum I would be the one to have to leave. So unless that becomes possible, those don’t work. 😦
 
lily20 said:
Thanks, yes I tried that. If I give him an ultimatum I would be the one to have to leave. So unless that becomes possible, those don’t work. 😦
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Lily, i think the focus should be on his ‘being productive’
If he has a trust fund and doesn’t need to work for $ then he should still find something else to keep his mind engaged and growing.
 
tarboy said:
Lily, i think the focus should be on his ‘being productive’
If he has a trust fund and doesn’t need to work for $ then he should still find something else to keep his mind engaged and growing.
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If he has a trust fund, he needs to being paying off that $200K debt. :eek:
 
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