What are Protestant Funerals Like?

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Hello. I am wondering what Protestant funerals are like, specifically those who don’t believe that praying helps a soul (ie he’s in hell or heaven, no more helping that guy (even though God is not bound by time) types).
I believe most religious funerals involve praying for the deceased, so I am wondering what these other ceremonies are like. This includes any other religious ceremonies as well.
 
I’ve been to several funerals for Protestant relatives of mine.

Since they do not pray for their dead, someone in the family has to make a special request to put a kneeler by the casket for the couple members of their family who are Catholic and want to kneel and pray. I asked my husband (Presbyterian) what in heck he and his family do in front of caskets containing their loved one, since they do not kneel and pray. He said, “We might bow”. Or they might just stand there, I guess.

The “funeral service” consisted of a preacher reading a few Bible verses and preaching a homily about the deceased person’s virtues and death in general. At the end of the homily we might all hold hands and say the Our Father. Also, they did not conduct the services in the church; the whole thing was like an hour at the funeral home after the viewing, then straight off to the cemetery.

That was pretty much it. I didn’t think it was much of a sendoff to be honest. I said rosaries and did Adoration afterwards and had Masses said for the people.
 
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Last one I went to was for a former co-worker. The CoC pastor gave opening and closing prayers off the cuff. Since I had noticed a certain, um… pattern in bible Christian prayer, I began counting the “Lords” in his prayers - as in “Lord, we just…” and “Lord we ask…”

17 Lords in the opening prayer. 19 in the closing.
 
It honestly depends on the denomination, a Methodist funeral isn’t going to be the same as a Baptist funeral isn’t going to be the same as a Lutheran funeral.
 
The ones I’ve been to didn’t even seem to be too concerned with the denomination. Last one I was at, a family member had gotten a Baptist minister to come do the funeral of the deceased (who had been Presbyterian their whole life and never been a Baptist) because he didn’t like the homily the Presbyterian minister had done at the last family funeral. Both funerals were essentially the same though, what I described above. The Baptist just seemed to use the words “Father God” a lot.

The people who asked the Baptist minister to come weren’t even members of that Baptist church at the time and were actually attending some other church that wasn’t Baptist because it had more programs for the kids or something.

I would imagine that Anglicans and Lutherans have something a bit more like the Catholic funeral service.
 
this is an interesting topic

i’ve been to protestant weddings; which are, well, some prayers, food & booze

but i don’t think i’ve ever been to a protestant funeral

no mass or prayers for the deceased? that is sad…
 
brian_custer said:
no mass or prayers for the deceased? that is sad…
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They assume the person is already in heaven because they lived a good life. Therefore, no prayers. And not much worry or sad over the fate of the person.

Seems like the funeral is primarily directed at having a commemoration/ memorial of the person’s life and maybe a little towards comforting the grieving relatives.
 
Fairly recently we had a funeral for my Catholic great (I’m not sure how many greats it is) aunt I think she was, and after we said the Rosary, then this Baptist preacher dude came up and read certain pages out of the Bible about the queen of Heaven the Israelite worshipped and then said that she was in Heaven because she had accepted Jesus Christ.
It almost felt like an affront while we waited for the priest to get there…
 
i never thought about this

so, in the “protestant church” (which is a fiction) there is no concern about the status of the deceased’s immortal soul?
 
Presbyterians basically believe in predestination. If you’re a good person on earth, which to them seems to mean you believe in God, live your life in a fairly responsible way, have a decent job, a decent marriage, pay your taxes etc then that means you’re going to Heaven when you die. Your responsible, decent life is seen as a sign that you were predestined to go to Heaven. If you ran around sinning, then that would be a sign you were predestined to Hell.
 
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Thinking back on it, I think it was a funeral home maybe.
The priest came some minutes after that, and rhen there was a procession to the burial site.
 
i am not trolling; so in the presbyterian church; if your life as seen by others, is OK, then you go to heaven

what you say, do, know, think in private has no relevance with regard to your final judgement before God?
 
Yeah, a lot of Protestants like to assume the deceased they know are in Heaven. It’s fairly presumptive.
Is it arrogance or more like a cowardly optimism?
 
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I don’t know because none of my relatives were the type who went around committing “sins” in private, so it never really came up.

I can’t say any of this makes a lot of sense to me. Some Presbyterian churches in USA have also de-emphasized predestination so maybe it wasn’t making sense to them either.

I will say that this line of thinking seemed to really de-emphasize the need for going to church or doing much of anything religious. I always had the impression that Presbyterian services for my in-laws were about on the same level as going to the Kiwanis meeting…a social activity where you put on a suit, listened to a sermon and then chatted with your friends for a while. I guarantee you that some of my relatives have not been inside their church in decades and don’t seem to feel they are missing anything, which was nice for me since there was zero pressure for me to attend their church. The extent of prayer in their household was a Thanksgiving blessing before the big meal. The Baptists in the family are more outwardly religious and go to services regularly and say grace before meals, teach their kids to pray to Jesus, etc.
 
Kei said:
Yeah, a lot of Protestants like to assume the deceased they know are in Heaven. It’s fairly presumptive.

Is it arrogance or more like a cowardly optimism?
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Well, to be fair, a lot of Catholics also assume the deceased people they knew and loved, who were good people in life, go to Heaven. It’s an uncomfortable thought to think your loved one is in purgatory or hell; you can’t picture a loving God sending your dear mom or dad to such a place. It’s pretty terrifying. So, the idea that all reasonably good people go to Heaven is pretty comforting to us all. Many Catholics refuse to believe in a Purgatory and think Hell is just for people like Hitler.
 
very informative post

i was at a baptist funeral once;

beautiful singing, music; and long sermon & definitely the participants were giving glory to God
 
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Hm, I always felt we hoped that they were in Heaven, but always say it is up to God. Not proclaiming that they are. Or that they’re in Hell.
Practically, you’d want to assume they are in purgatory and pray for them a lot.
 
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