What are Protestant Funerals Like?

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TheLittleLady said:
Catholic funeral is a regular Mass, except the priest processes in after the draping of the pall and then pallbearers (or cart wheely thing) brings in the coffin.
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Not necessarily, I went to an uncle’s funeral non-mass, conducted by a deacon.
 
Wannano said:
That is true but you have the added cost of cremation and an urn.
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Cremation costs money, but its still cheaper than the alternative. Don’t have to buy a coffin- if you have a viewing before cremation, you can rent a casket from the funeral home.

You save money with the number of cars and limos you have, as you don’t have to take the body to the cemetery, you just leave it in the care of the licensed funeral director- who has body cremated which is reduced to a box of cremains.

If the cremains are interred, the small box is just buried, doesn’t require heavy digging or waiting for the land to settle before a monument is placed. If you have a head stone or other marker, it can be placed right away.
 
Time is something that limits us humans.
God is not bound by time. In fact, He is eternal. He is unchanging.
 
In our state, once the body is cremated it can be carried by anyone. You do not need to pay the funeral director to drive the ashes around. In fact, here at the Church we have had people send grandma’s ashes to us through the US mail (gravely disrespectful, but, that is another thread).

The cemetery may allow you to “Dig your own” for cremains, but, they may require you to pay for the plot opening. At our Catholic cemetery, the plot open fee for cremains is far less than for a casket.
 
Sometimes preachers say risky things, something like on the basis of the fact that the soul that has departed into eternity, the soul can not be atoned for, and no charity, no alms, no prayers, can change any thing.
But the preacher can say optimidtic words, that only God knows if the passed soul repented or not, just before the death hour. So, still there is some hope.
 
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TheLittleLady said:
In fact, here at the Church we have had people send grandma’s ashes to us through the US mail (gravely disrespectful, but, that is another thread).
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When my father passed, the funeral home shipped the cremains directly to the Allegheny Cemetery office and the cemetery staff buried them. They didn’t need a backhoe, I think the cost was less, but you never know about the costs of those things, he died rather suddenly and it was paid for with the Visa, like $8000
 
Torolf said:
The vest majority of Protestant denominations don’t believe in predestination. Protestants for the most part believe salvation is attained by believing in Jesus and saying a prayer acknowledging his death and resurrection for the forgiveness of sin. As long as family or friends had knowledge of the deceased saying the prayer then everyone assumes they are in heaven.
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Not quite accurate by half.
 
I’ve been to lot of Lutheran funerals. Next to Catholics, they are the most abundant denomination in our little neck of the plains. A lot of emphasis on the faith of the deceased, if they were obviously holy. If not, then a lot of personal information about deceased and vacuous generalities. Sometimes some dwelling on the scripture readings which the family chose. Hymns. Some ritual including the Nicene Creed, except replace “Holy Catholic Church” with “Holy Christian Church.” Final commendation and then procession out to the cemetery.
 
Kei said:
Hello. I am wondering what Protestant funerals are like, specifically those who don’t believe that praying helps a soul (ie he’s in hell or heaven, no more helping that guy (even though God is not bound by time) types).

I believe most religious funerals involve praying for the deceased, so I am wondering what these other ceremonies are like. This includes any other religious ceremonies as well.
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My father died last year from Alzheimer’s disease. So, I can give you some perspective. He was Pentecostal and an ordained minister.

The service includes a sermon (preached by a minister friend of my dad). My mom asked him to preach because my dad had been an important spiritual influence on his life. I honestly can’t remember what Bible passage he preached from but essentially he preached the reality of death for everyone and the need for everyone turn to Christ–tying this basic Christian message into my father’s life as someone who believed this and spent his Christian life living what he believed and reaching others with the Gospel.

My sister sung “Alabaster Box”, by Cece Winans, which is based on the New Testament story. This has significance for my family since my sister sung this as a special song in church often, and my dad loved to hear her sing it.

Me and my twin brother did the eulogy.

There is prayer, but it is prayer for the Holy Spirit to comfort the family and loved ones. Also, the preaching and prayer are meant to be means of grace by which those who may be attending the service might be convicted of sin and turned toward repentance and faith in Christ.

For my family, the funeral was more of a home going service, since my father was a practicing Christian who professed faith in Christ. In other cases, where the person was not actually religious, things can get kind of depressing. Some ministers will try to be honest about the fact that this person really didn’t leave much evidence of faith in Christ while trying to bring some kind of hope to the situation or at least “if they were here now they’d tell all of of their loved ones to live for Christ” or something like that.

Then there are some ministers who try to “preach 'em into heaven” which is just ridiculous and sad.
 
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btw, just curious. Does that amount to being repetitive or saying the name of the Lord our God in vain?
 
I have asked that question, but the answers, as you might expect, are contentious.

An admittedly terrible paraphrase:
“Not every one who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ in a funeral prayer shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not repeat your name frequently in prayer, and gesticulate wildly in your name, and pound the pulpit in your name and do many mighty fund-raising works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you thespians.’
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For those who have need: Lighten up! You should hear what they say about us!
 
Interesting. In the county in which I live, and at least one other in the state, those who can’t afford funerals and must be taken care of by the state are always cremated (yes, to save the county money) and the cremains put into a vault (I haven’t seen any pictures of the vault, though, so I hope the cremains aren’t simply thrown away).
 
I’ve been to 3 different Southern Baptist funerals. Both were full of sobbing and fire and brimstone remarks by the pastor. There was a lot of “you’d better shape up” and woe to the persons present who don’t repent of their evil ways. Was nothing like a Catholic funeral. Lots of doomsday references. In one case, the Sunday school teaching of the woman who passed was praised as she had taught adult Sunday school for over 45 years, right up to her death.
There was a small amount of music at each.
 
Brought up Pentecostal there are no prayers for the dead. Your time for repentance ends at the time of your death. If you were just unkind to someone not ten minutes before and didn’t pray you most certainly will not be going to heaven.
Usually for the service there is strong preaching about how you have to repent and change your ways today and give your life to God if you want to see your loved ones. How this life is your only chance.
Funerals of the departed of loved ones that are thought or ‘known’ to be recieved into Hell are especially uncomfortable. They will talk about the joy the departed brought to our lives and once again fire and brimstone preaching of getting your act together because God is a jealous God and your chances of entering into heaven is slim.
Many Baptist denominations are similar.
At the end of the day the funeral is a time to say goodbye. Listen to a sermon from the word of God. Music selections from the family which can be far and wide ending with a Bible reading at the burial.
 
Well, I was at one, recently (a neighbor’s brother) which really shocked me … it was in a funeral home (rather than in a church) and the pastor and some other gentleman got up … other gentleman sang a song, pastor spoke a bit, another solo, a little more from pastor and then a final song. The thing that shocked me was that, although the pastor chose three scripture texts, he never got out of the Old Testament. I had never been to a Christian funeral before that didn’t use some of the New Testament (like Jesus “I am the Resurrection and the Life” or St Paul’s epistles). The overall theme was about how we all have an appointment with death (since the deceased was in his mid-80s, we’re not talking about someone whose death came shockingly early).

Otherwise, I’ve been to several Baptist funerals which were held in their respective churches and scripture choices are usually strictly from the Pauline epistles (I Corinthians 15 is very popular) or one of the Gospel accounts like the resurrection of Lazarus or other selections from the Gospel along the theme of Jesus preparing a place in Heaven.
 
There are no prayers for the dead because we believe they the persons fate is sealed at death. They are either in heaven or hell based on their faith in Christ.

Because of this fact the funerals are all about providing comfort and love to the family and loved ones of the deceased. I’ve been to funerals in which the person that died was a strong believer in Christ and lived their faith out loud. These services can even become celebratory. We celebrate the life and faith of the deceased. In this case the service is officiated by a pastor that has a close relationship to the deceased. We thank God for the witness of the deceased and celebrate that they are now in Heaven and pray for an offer comfort for those grieving and look forward to when we will be reunited in heaven.

I’ve also been to services where the person was not a believer. This is a very sad occasion and very little can be said to comfort the family.
 
When my maternal grandmother passed away on 9/11 (yes, that 9/11), her funeral was put together very quickly. She already had it arranged. But when the time came, no one could find what she’d had written out. So it was very rushed trying to find a minister and place to hold the service.

I don’t remember any Scriptures being read or any prayers said. Since it was so impromptu, her loved ones were invited to come up and share memories. Her friends just sat in their seats. And there was a lot of silence because no one really knew what to do.

My grandmother was an artist. So that is what I focused on in my memories of her. She had taught art classes as well and also worked for the telephone company in the days where you had to go through the operator to reach your party.

I remember that she had asked that when her time came, that we all wear happy colors and not black to her funeral. I think only one person wore black. Everyone else did as she had asked.

One thing does stand out tho. The pastor said that it’s okay to mourn the loss of the person but that we are to rejoice that the person is now in Heaven with Jesus and that we will see our loved ones again one day.
 
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Similarly, we Catholics believe the same about the Judgement not being changed upon death and being final, but we also believe that when those judged fit for heaven still have sin, they are PURGed forever in PURGatory.

So, we pray for the hastening of their purgatory and that they may enter the fullness of Heaven and the Beatific Vision all the sooner.
 
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