What are some true deal-breakers for Catholics?

[augustinegirl]

Alright everyone…I would like some general insight from reasonable Catholic people.

 When I first started dating, I had a long list of "requirements" that included physical appearance and personality, but also morals.  As I've grown, I've learned that my list wasn't exactly realistic (shocker!).  I also think a lot of Catholics have super high expectations, at least in my experience.

 There's an odd problem: we're not supposed to try to change anyone (people won't change unless they want to), but we're also supposed to be open to people and not write them off right away.  This is a confusing concept for me, as I've recently only dated devout Catholics (who had other reasons for not working out, like personality or desires).  Humans are imperfect, and I haven't been in many serious relationships where I've dealt with a lot of differences.

1. Religion - I used to require that someone I date is Catholic; changed that to Christian, but that doesn’t have to mean attending a service - it can mean that they have a relationship with God or desire one. While Catholic should = person striving for virtue, it doesn’t always. I have a few people in my family who are converts and I felt hypocritical just going for Catholics. Like I said, I know we aren’t supposed to try to change people, but does anyone have advice on not trying to convert someone even if we wish they were Catholic? Or can we be okay without them converting?
2. Politics Is politics truly a deal-breaker? A lot of people would say yes, but the funny thing is that the way I “politically identify” is generally totally different from the people I spend time with and enjoy. Some people aren’t familiar with pro-life teachings or have been raised in a different background, and I don’t know what is acceptable or not. Now if the other person is totally immersed in his political party, I’d steer clear, but I’ve found that most people just say “I personally disagree with that, but I don’t know if the government should control it” or something.
3. Number of kids Let’s say you’re far enough into a relationship when you talk about kids. Obviously we must be open to children, that’s a given. God gives you however many kids you should have, but should you both want the same amount? (Note: obviously the person should want kids in general, I know that haha, but does the amount preference matter?)
   
   And then of course personality, but I already have a good idea of what I need there (well, I’m sure I’ll find out if I’m wrong haha). I’m mostly just asking about these things like religion and politics that are notoriously polarizing. I have many friends of different faiths and political beliefs, but it gets much harder for me in dating relationships when that happens.

It’s hard to be patient and just let it all unfold, so I’m seeing if there is any general advice out there.

 

[pianistclare]

“reasonable people on CAF”.

You’re funny

Seriously though,
I never dated anyone who mocked my faith or clearly would never be open to attending Mass with me. Period. When times get tough, and they always do, no once is immune to tragedy, I run to Church. I get on my knees, and go to Adoration. I frequent mass more often than Sundays. I could not have someone telling me I’m an idiot, or gullible, or wasting my time.

I would not date anyone that had a crazy ex. Nope. Don’t need that.

I wouldn’t date anyone who didn’t like or respect my family. They had me first. Deal with it.

I wouldn’t date anyone who thought I shoudl be the sole breadwinner. My late husband refused all kinds of job offers, but thought it was just fine for me to work 3 low paying jobs to pay the house payment, carry the bills and be exhausted all the time. He didn’t model a loving husband to our daughters. He passed away, and I remarried a wonderful man who can’t do enough for me, and I for him. We in this together, and he;s Catholic, wishes we lived closer to my family for both our sakes, and is spiritual himself, although in a much different, private way.

Politics? We’re very different, but we laugh about it. If you can’t discuss politics without having a knock-down drag-out fight, yeah that would be a deal breaker, But seriously, what would that have to do with love?

Children. No one “decides” how may children they have, God gives them, and in your wedding vows you promise to accept them as they come or don’t come. With love.
You might have to visit that one pretty hard. Nothing worse than fighting over kids and sex.

Best of luck finding your true love!

 

[augustinegirl]

“reasonable people on CAF”.

You’re funny

Haha, that’s why I specified actually, because I figured I could have some extremely opinionated people commenting! Your comment, however, was very refreshing and reasonable, so kudos and thank you!

You might have to visit that one pretty hard. Nothing worse than fighting over kids and sex.

I honestly believe that this would be one of the hardest things with a non-Catholic: NFP and chastity (like sex stuff in general really haha). Thankfully in a weird twist a lot of secular people are practicing rhythm methods because of the science behind it so that’s a positive, though still not the majority.

 

[pianistclare]

Haha, that’s why I specified actually, because I figured I could have some extremely opinionated people commenting! Your comment, however, was very refreshing and reasonable, so kudos and thank you!

I honestly believe that this would be one of the hardest things with a non-Catholic: NFP and chastity (like sex stuff in general really haha). Thankfully in a weird twist a lot of secular people are practicing rhythm methods because of the science behind it so that’s a positive, though still not the majority.

It’s a result of the culture we live in.
People are growing up with the notion that of you are not having LOTS of sex 24-7 you’re a loser and no one loves you.
That’s the not the reality of marriage. So find a guy who is man enough to understand when you are ill, or you just don’t want to, but are happy with cuddling, and laughing, and long intimate conversations, you’ll be fine. Men can feel out of sorts too. Sex on demand has ruined a lot of loving marriages. We are more than our bodies We are more then “serviceable”.

 

[PseuTonym]

Now if the other person is totally immersed in his political party, I’d steer clear, but I’ve found that most people just say “I personally disagree with that, but I don’t know if the government should control it” or something.

That means that if you happened to have an ambition of working in politics, and you already had selected a political party to work within, then a man with your actual attitude would steer clear of that hypothetical you.

Somebody who hopes to create a new political party and gain power within that party might be a bit too ambitious. What would you think of somebody who is creating a new religion, and who is to be the major prophet of that religion?

If the rule of law is good, then the political process and the occupation of politician deserve some respect. After all, the alternatives are: (1) being conquered by a stronger nation and having foreign laws imposed by the foreign conqueror; and (2) civil war.

 

[pianistclare]

That means that if you happened to have an ambition of working in politics, and you already had selected a political party to work within, then a man with your actual attitude would steer clear of that hypothetical you.

Somebody who hopes to create a new political party and gain power within that party might be a bit too ambitious. What would you think of somebody who is creating a new religion, and who is to be the major prophet of that religion?

If the rule of law is good, then the political process and the occupation of politician deserve some respect. After all, the alternatives are: (1) being conquered by a stronger nation and having foreign laws imposed by the foreign conqueror; and (2) civil war.

What?
What has any of that got to do with her quest for a compatible mate?

 

[Whalljim]

Being practicing Catholic was a big one for me. Absolute deal breaker. They didn’t (I’m 20 years out of the dating scene…) have to be uber orthodox. But they did want to be seeking and trying to work on their faith. Being Pro-Life was a deal breaker for me too.

When I was in my 20’s I was a pretty immature Catholic. But I was working on it. I just wanted someone in the same spot.

to me, that sets the foundation for the rest.

It’s hard to go forward, IMHO, in a relationship with someone who was say, in a denomination that was anti-Catholic. It lays the seeds of trouble when it comes to the sacraments. Baptism is easy, but what about first communion? Confession? Etc. etc. etc.

But, as I said, that was a long time ago.

 

[1ke]

but we’re also supposed to be open to people and not write them off right away.

Says who?

1. Religion - I used to require that someone I date is Catholic; changed that to Christian, but that doesn’t have to mean attending a service - it can mean that they have a relationship with God or desire one.

Nope. Practicing Catholic, period.

I have a few people in my family who are converts and I felt hypocritical just going for Catholics.

I AM a convert and see nothing hypocritical in my Catholics-only policy.

Like I said, I know we aren’t supposed to try to change people, but does anyone have advice on not trying to convert someone even if we wish they were Catholic? Or can we be okay without them converting?

Yes, date a Catholic.

1. Politics Is politics truly a deal-breaker?

It could be. Party affiliation, or lack of, isn’t on its own. It would have to run deeper into beliefs to truly gauge if any “deal breaker” exists.

1. Number of kids

Could be. Again, you are being way too general. If two people have vastly different views of family life-- one wants one kid and one wants twelve-- then yeah, it could wind up a deal breaker. In general, trying to plan that you will have X kids is a big waste of time. Because, the future is unkown and unknowable.

notoriously polarizing.

In all things notoriously polarizing, one should spend careful time, discussion, and consideration. They may be a deal breaker for one person and not for another. These are, in the end, intensely personal decisions.

I have many friends of different faiths and political beliefs, but it gets much harder for me in dating relationships when that happens.

It’s hard to be patient and just let it all unfold, so I’m seeing if there is any general advice out there.

Know thyself.

 

[PseuTonym]

What?
What has any of that got to do with her quest for a compatible mate?

Well, perhaps I misinterpreted the following:
“Now if the other person is totally immersed in his political party, I’d steer clear,”

Some possibilities are:
(1) Voting and knowing exactly what you voted for. Can you do that, or is knowing exactly what you voted for making you too far immersed in a political party?

(2) Joining a political party, but not voting in general elections involving candidates from different parties. Can you do you, or is joining a political party too far immersed in a political party?

One possibility is for the OP to simply find somebody who will agree to never discuss politics with the OP. That solves the politics problem … until the OP wants to discuss politics, in violation of the rule that was agreed upon.

 

[PseuTonym]

What?
What has any of that got to do with her quest for a compatible mate?

To explain my train of thought, I was thinking of JFK shortly before he got married …

“Soon after being elected senator, John F. Kennedy, at 36 years of age, married 24 year-old Jacqueline Bouvier, a writer with the Washington Times-Herald.”

JFK wouldn’t have been able to marry a Catholic if all Catholic women had had the view that the OP expressed … unless JFK could have said, “I’m a senator, but I’m not totally immersed in my party” and not been laughed at.

Now, a little research indicates that the imaginary JFK quote isn’t completely ridiculous. Here are three United States senators from recent history who switched parties:

Jim Jeffords, Joe Lieberman, Arlen Specter

 

[BlueEyedLady]

To explain my train of thought, I was thinking of JFK shortly before he got married …

“Soon after being elected senator, John F. Kennedy, at 36 years of age, married 24 year-old Jacqueline Bouvier, a writer with the Washington Times-Herald.”

JFK wouldn’t have been able to marry a Catholic if all Catholic women had had the view that the OP expressed … unless JFK could have said, “I’m a senator, but I’m not totally immersed in my party” and not been laughed at.

Now, a little research indicates that the imaginary JFK quote isn’t completely ridiculous. Here are three United States senators from recent history who switched parties:

Jim Jeffords, Joe Lieberman, Arlen Specter

1. I’m pretty sure the OP said that in reference to people she disagreed with politically.
2. JFK, nor any politician, lawyer, or legal or political scholar should marry someone who fundamentally disagrees with them on politics, or whatever their specialty is.
3. She isn’t prescribing these deal-breakers for everyone, just for herself. There’s nothing wrong with finding politics exhausting and wanting to steer clear of someone who has made it their passion or life’s work.
4. JFK probably shouldn’t have married anyone, Catholic or not. He didn’t even try to be a faithful husband, and he wasn’t discreet about it either.

 

[CatholicRaven]

There’s an odd problem: we’re not supposed to try to change anyone (people won’t change unless they want to), but we’re also supposed to be open to people and not write them off right away. …Like I said, I know we aren’t supposed to try to change people, but does anyone have advice on not trying to convert someone even if we wish they were Catholic?

Well… I don’t entirely agree with the “don’t try to change people” idea. That’s a little too general a statement. Otherwise, I’d never correct my kids when they misbehave, and we’d never have discussions about any subject on which we disagree, even if someone has the wrong information! Neither of those would be very loving responses.

We shouldn’t be trying to mold someone into our own little ideal, of course, or be controlling or manipulative, especially if it’s only about our own preferences, but that’s not to say that we should never try to get someone to change what they do or believe or say. We should, mostly by our own actions and example, be encouraging others to change for the better (especially our spouses).

But you are right in that we cannot force or manipulate people to change, and shouldn’t try.

but we’re also supposed to be open to people and not write them off right away.

We aren’t supposed to judge the state of their soul or view them as “less valuable” than anyone else. Not quite the same thing as being “open” to all people. Loving others doesn’t always mean associating with them or letting them in to our close circle of friends. In fact, there are even some times when love requires that we don’t associate with them.

There is a balance here, and it’s not always easy to find, but it’s about Christian love and respect for one another. Yet that doesn’t always mean doing what is “nice” or tolerating bad behavior just to avoid hurt feelings or discomfort.

My husband and I are converts to Catholicism, and I would suggest NOT dating men who are not practicing Catholics. You’re looking for someone with whom to share a life, and to build a family. Why would you start out dating someone who you already know has values, beliefs, and ideas about life and faith that conflict with yours?

You shouldn’t go into a relationship expecting the other person to change. If you can’t work out the “deal-breaking” differences in faith relatively early, then you should break it off. Otherwise, you’re assuming the guy would convert for you, or that things would just work out somehow… but that’s really not fair or respectful to the non-Catholic guy and his faith. Mostly because, if it’s going to happen, that conversion needs to be between him and God.

Trust God to give you opportunities to find a spouse if He’s calling you to marriage. And don’t worry; there isn’t just one person with whom you could spend a lifetime in marriage. It’s okay to let a man go who isn’t the right husband for you (even if he’d make a “great catch” for someone else), or who doesn’t agree with your faith, even if he doesn’t do anything to truly offend you. After all, you definitely can’t marry every good and holy single man you meet, Catholic or otherwise!

As for the rest… Focus on what God is asking of you, and the rest will fall into place. Are you doing what you should be doing, or letting things slide? Eventually, that will be reflected in your romantic relationships, too.

Our relationship with God comes first, and that shouldn’t change in marriage.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I was happy to meet a nice guy who didn’t hassle me about my faith or much of anything else, made me laugh, was a responsible person who paid his bills and took his job and career seriously, was open to but not obsessed about the concept of marriage and kids, wasn’t a spendthrift but also wasn’t tight with a buck, and demonstrated his caring about me in a lot of thoughtful ways. I liked his blue eyes and nice head of hair too.

He is a (mostly non practicing) Protestant and is registered in a different political party than me. It doesn’t much matter. I would like him to be Catholic so I pray for that, but he helps me to be a better Catholic and a better person so he is doing his bit whether or not he converts.

I can’t imagine approaching relationships with a checklist…a “deal breaker” to me would be something like the man is chronically unemployed, is fighting addictions, commits domestic abuse, lacks a sense of humor, bosses me around, spends all the money out of the checking account, is controlling, or has a problem with me being a Catholic. Then again I was not planning on finding someone to marry either. I thought I might very well stay single my whole life and I was okay with that, but God apparently willed that I marry this guy instead. Good luck.

 

[PseuTonym]

Well… I don’t entirely agree with the “don’t try to change people” idea. …] we’d never have discussions about any subject on which we disagree, even if someone has the wrong information! Neither of those would be very loving responses.

…]

But you are right in that we cannot force or manipulate people to change, and shouldn’t try.

That’s an interesting answer. My only question is: do we stipulate that clarity is never to be given the label “manipulation”?

In other words – although psychological cleverness might be needed to recognize a stumbling block that somebody is experiencing, and to formulate a message that will get through to that particular person – if the message simply makes something very clear, then the message isn’t manipulative, even if it the message elicits a change that the recipient of the message was previously resisting. Do you agree?

 

[Allegra]

If I remember correctly, my “deal breakers” were that they had to be Catholic and practicing. I need someone that can motivate me to get up on Sunday morning and I DON’T need an extra kid to force to get up.

No smoking allowed. No exceptions.

They had to accept the teachings of the Church on sexual matters and be willing to practice NFP.

They had to be tolerant of tapping, humming, and singing at all times. Harmonic and accompaniment skills preferred.

 

[PennyinCanada]

I’m going to share what my thoughts were back a hundred years ago when I was 20.

I came into the church in my 20’s. My current boyfriend of 5 yrs grew up in a Catholic home and went to Catholic schools. When I had my new faith and was eager to learn more, our relationship fell apart. He wasn’t interested in the faith. After 5 years it was quite a shock and yet I stood firm.

I had this conversation with God many times. I told him that I was serious about building my marriage on the foundation of Christ and the church that he gave us. I would rather be single than compromise my faith. If I met someone and he wasn’t a practicing Catholic, I would move on. No point in wasting his time and mine. Not interested in missionary dating. I did meet guys and on that one point did not budge. See God,* I am serious about this. If you want me to marry someone, it’s up to you to bring him in the church first*, then we’ll date. I prayed for my future husband every day, many times a day. I know a lot of people who met someone and was waiting for them to ‘come around’ to the faith. In the meantime they got attached to them, married them anyway. I just totally avoided doing that. My thinking was no point in making a square peg try to fit a round hole.

One day I did meet my husband, on the feast of the Annunciation. He was a practicing Catholic and was interested in learning of the faith. We had many awesome conversations. He was the one who told me about the church’s teachings on marriage and family life. He’s the one that found out where we could take NFP classes. We are married close to 30 years now. My previous boyfriend was married twice, divorced twice and is single now. Fractured families, tough on the kids. His faithful parents enjoyed 60 yrs of marriage. Putting Christ and the Faith second or third or whatever can be a slow train wreck. Be smart, be discerning. Pray for your future spouse every day. You will need the faith and the sacraments to weather the storms that come your way, and they will come.

Thank you for reading my story. May you have a wonderful testimony 30 years from now!

 

[jcrichton]

Alright everyone…I would like some general insight from reasonable Catholic people.

 When I first started dating, I had a long list of "requirements" that included physical appearance and personality, but also morals.  As I've grown, I've learned that my list wasn't exactly realistic (shocker!).  I also think a lot of Catholics have super high expectations, at least in my experience.

 There's an odd problem: we're not supposed to try to change anyone (people won't change unless they want to), but we're also supposed to be open to people and not write them off right away.  This is a confusing concept for me, as I've recently only dated devout Catholics (who had other reasons for not working out, like personality or desires).  Humans are imperfect, and I haven't been in many serious relationships where I've dealt with a lot of differences.

1. Religion - I used to require that someone I date is Catholic; changed that to Christian, but that doesn’t have to mean attending a service - it can mean that they have a relationship with God or desire one. While Catholic should = person striving for virtue, it doesn’t always. I have a few people in my family who are converts and I felt hypocritical just going for Catholics. Like I said, I know we aren’t supposed to try to change people, but does anyone have advice on not trying to convert someone even if we wish they were Catholic? Or can we be okay without them converting?
2. Politics Is politics truly a deal-breaker? A lot of people would say yes, but the funny thing is that the way I “politically identify” is generally totally different from the people I spend time with and enjoy. Some people aren’t familiar with pro-life teachings or have been raised in a different background, and I don’t know what is acceptable or not. Now if the other person is totally immersed in his political party, I’d steer clear, but I’ve found that most people just say “I personally disagree with that, but I don’t know if the government should control it” or something.
3. Number of kids Let’s say you’re far enough into a relationship when you talk about kids. Obviously we must be open to children, that’s a given. God gives you however many kids you should have, but should you both want the same amount? (Note: obviously the person should want kids in general, I know that haha, but does the amount preference matter?)
   
   And then of course personality, but I already have a good idea of what I need there (well, I’m sure I’ll find out if I’m wrong haha). I’m mostly just asking about these things like religion and politics that are notoriously polarizing. I have many friends of different faiths and political beliefs, but it gets much harder for me in dating relationships when that happens.

It’s hard to be patient and just let it all unfold, so I’m seeing if there is any general advice out there.

Hi!

…this is tough!

It depends on what you want out of life; do you want money, security, hot bod?

…then there’s that old Sacrament of Marriage thing… is that what you want?

…my experience has been that when Catholics marry or pursuit relationships with non-Catholics, marginal Catholics or non-Believers… that Catholic soon turns anti-Catholic, Protestant, or atheist… though there’s no format/rule to this… it could well be that he/she would spend the next ten to forty years leapfrogging from sect to sect and maybe then return to Catholicism (what turmoil for the families and the children!); then you have the casualty of the Catholic being the means by which the non-Catholic or non-Believer converts… the odds are not in favor, in the most part.

You also have the “all religions are sound” belief… just as long as the other person has some respect/understanding about God… have you checked why homosexuals want to be found acceptable to God in the Catholic Church or other Christian group? They want the freedom to be what they want to be while keeping the “right” (there’s no such thing as right to God) to Worship God where and how they please.

Now, if you want a husband that would support your Spiritual Growth and Commitment in the Catholic Church, you must seek him from amongst the Catholics who are committed to their Faith and are actually actively practicing their Faith.

Consider the fact: if a friend of mine does drugs (which includes cigarettes and alcohol) I cannot join him/her in that practice as the means to help liberate him/her from the vice.

So if you cannot start from a strong, dark and handsome devote Catholic, make sure that you are committed enough to the Faith and Knowledgeable enough about the Faith before you pursuit a relationship with someone who might pull you away from the Faith.

Children?

Being open to God cannot mean setting a limit to how many children you should have. That’s an oxymoron: ‘I’m open to God’s Decree but He must not give me more than “x” number of children (or whatsoever); otherwise I will have to take matters into my own hands.’

Maran atha!

Angel

 

[jcrichton]

Well, perhaps I misinterpreted the following:
“Now if the other person is totally immersed in his political party, I’d steer clear,”

Some possibilities are:
(1) Voting and knowing exactly what you voted for. Can you do that, or is knowing exactly what you voted for making you too far immersed in a political party?

(2) Joining a political party, but not voting in general elections involving candidates from different parties. Can you do you, or is joining a political party too far immersed in a political party?

One possibility is for the OP to simply find somebody who will agree to never discuss politics with the OP. That solves the politics problem … until the OP wants to discuss politics, in violation of the rule that was agreed upon.

Hi!

…‘totally immersed’ as the democrats believing that science dictates that we cannot know when life begins or that a child is not a child in the womb but frozen eggs can be called children if there’s a court issue… and the fight for animals to be seen and respected as human: 'no, it’s not it or dog or cat… it’s she or he–cause you hurt their sensibilities and you disrespect the person/animal… and all the while referring to human beings as “it” and ‘no, not the bay… the fetus!’

When people are totally immersed in something they reject Truth and Reason in order to accommodate the object of their servitude.

Maran atha!

Angel

 

[jcrichton]

1. I’m pretty sure the OP said that in reference to people she disagreed with politically.
2. JFK, nor any politician, lawyer, or legal or political scholar should marry someone who fundamentally disagrees with them on politics, or whatever their specialty is.
3. She isn’t prescribing these deal-breakers for everyone, just for herself. There’s nothing wrong with finding politics exhausting and wanting to steer clear of someone who has made it their passion or life’s work.
4. JFK probably shouldn’t have married anyone, Catholic or not. He didn’t even try to be a faithful husband, and he wasn’t discreet about it either.

Hi, Blue!

…you mean he should have been loyal and chaste, right?

Maran atha!

Angel

 

[jcrichton]

Well… I don’t entirely agree with the “don’t try to change people” idea. That’s a little too general a statement. Otherwise, I’d never correct my kids when they misbehave, and we’d never have discussions about any subject on which we disagree, even if someone has the wrong information! Neither of those would be very loving responses.

**We shouldn’t be trying to mold someone into our own little ideal, of course, or be controlling or manipulative, especially if it’s only about our own preferences, but that’s not to say that we should never try to get someone to change what they do or believe or say. We should, mostly by our own actions and example, be encouraging others to change for the better (especially our spouses).

But you are right in that we cannot force or manipulate people to change, and shouldn’t try. **

We aren’t supposed to judge the state of their soul or view them as “less valuable” than anyone else. Not quite the same thing as being “open” to all people. Loving others doesn’t always mean associating with them or letting them in to our close circle of friends. In fact, there are even some times when love requires that we don’t associate with them.

There is a balance here, and it’s not always easy to find, but it’s about Christian love and respect for one another. Yet that doesn’t always mean doing what is “nice” or tolerating bad behavior just to avoid hurt feelings or discomfort.

My husband and I are converts to Catholicism, and I would suggest NOT dating men who are not practicing Catholics. You’re looking for someone with whom to share a life, and to build a family. Why would you start out dating someone who you already know has values, beliefs, and ideas about life and faith that conflict with yours?

You shouldn’t go into a relationship expecting the other person to change. If you can’t work out the “deal-breaking” differences in faith relatively early, then you should break it off. Otherwise, you’re assuming the guy would convert for you, or that things would just work out somehow… but that’s really not fair or respectful to the non-Catholic guy and his faith. Mostly because, if it’s going to happen, that conversion needs to be between him and God.

Trust God to give you opportunities to find a spouse if He’s calling you to marriage. And don’t worry; there isn’t just one person with whom you could spend a lifetime in marriage. It’s okay to let a man go who isn’t the right husband for you (even if he’d make a “great catch” for someone else), or who doesn’t agree with your faith, even if he doesn’t do anything to truly offend you. After all, you definitely can’t marry every good and holy single man you meet, Catholic or otherwise!

As for the rest… Focus on what God is asking of you, and the rest will fall into place. Are you doing what you should be doing, or letting things slide? Eventually, that will be reflected in your romantic relationships, too.

Our relationship with God comes first, and that shouldn’t change in marriage.

Hi, Amy!

I liked your reply; I highlighted the excerpt that I specially enjoyed!

Maran atha!

Angel