What can I do to keep my mind off having sex with my wife?

  • Thread starter Thread starter mkipp
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
M

mkipp

Guest
My wife is pregnant and since October we have not had sex. She is scared to have relations while pregnant and does not feel comfotable with it. I understand and do not even bring up the subject. But it is hard for me to think that I will not have sex with my wife for about a year. What am I supposed to do? I am only thirty and have fallen to masturbation a few times. I seem to go a month or so and fall backwards. I appreciate any advice or thoughts. I just want to be the best husband and follower of God I can be.
God Bless
 
Hi! Actually, unless it is a high-risk pregnancy, there is really no reason a couple CAN’T have sex all the way through, up until the last two weeks or so. It DOES seem alot to ask a man to go 9 months without sex! I think it’s time you DID bring it up and have a heart-to-heart talk with your wife. Some women are very self-conscious about how they look pregnant, and need alot of reassurance that you find her desirable and attractive. Many couples find pregnant sex to be even better than non!

I’m not quite sure what you mean about “the thought of a year without sex.” If I’m doing the math right, you’re already into the 7th month or so. After the baby is born, a woman only has to wait until her doctor clears her for sex, which is 4-6 weeks postpartum. Of course, it may be very painful for her at first, so be gentle and patient!

Good luck with that heart-to-heart talk! Judie
 
mkipp said:
My wife is pregnant and since October we have not had sex. She is scared to have relations while pregnant and does not feel comfotable with it. I understand and do not even bring up the subject. But it is hard for me to think that I will not have sex with my wife for about a year. What am I supposed to do? I am only thirty and have fallen to masturbation a few times. I seem to go a month or so and fall backwards. I appreciate any advice or thoughts. I just want to be the best husband and follower of God I can be.
God Bless
Click to expand...
As the other poster said, if it’s not high risk then there is no problem. And actually there are prostaglandins in the male ejaculate which actually can help bring on labor towards the end of pregnancy. A big plus for her! There is TONS of good medical information on the Internet and many many books.

Also many women find relations during pregnancy are the best ever… for numerous reasons, both physical and psychological. I’m a man of course but I know many women who would say she is missing out more than you are 🙂

Most importantly though don’t make it about sex, make it about being together. Do you find her attractive while pregnant? maybe even extra attractive? then tell her that. Let her know how much you love her and that you miss your renewing of the marriage covenant. Let her know that the outcome of what you guys do or don’t won’t change that but that you miss her on many levels. Personally I’ve always be super attracted to my wife while she is pregnant… to the point she often laughed about it because I told her too often. I don’t think that was ever a bad thing though 🙂

Joe
 
I am scared to even bring up the subject. She is normally fit, and I think that the extra weight makes her feel undesireable. I tell her that she is beautiful, but all she responds is that she is fat. This has been very tough for me. It seems that sex is starting to take over my dreams and many thoughts throughout the day. It also makes me feel bad about myself. I make dinner at least 4 nights a week and help out around the house. I am trying to make things easier for her as much as possible.
 
spend most of your time in prayer. Dont watch tv or use the computer and read the Bible. By the way it is wrong to have sex in the Catholic Church. It may feel comftorable while you are doing it, but think about how uncomftorable it will be when your body is burning in hell.
 
mkipp said:
I seem to go a month or so and fall backwards. I appreciate any advice or thoughts. I just want to be the best husband and follower of God I can be.
God Bless
Click to expand...
It doesn’t matter if you CAN have relations or not. The fact is that you are not. As others have said, pray without ceasing. But don’t pray, “please keep me from thinking of sex and from abusing myself,” instead pray, “Lord, teach me the purity of love.”

Divorce the sexual act from what pure love is. Contemplate deeply on a pure and chaste love – a love that Christ has for us. Engage your mind and your soul, subdue your body. Ask the Holy Spirit to enlighten you.
 
Holyfire said:
spend most of your time in prayer. Dont watch tv or use the computer and read the Bible. By the way it is wrong to have sex in the Catholic Church. It may feel comftorable while you are doing it, but think about how uncomftorable it will be when your body is burning in hell.
Click to expand...
It is not wrong for two people who are married, to have sex as long as it is both procreative and unitive. The Catholic Church does not teach that it’s wrong to have sex, if two people are married.

:confused:
 
Holyfire said:
spend most of your time in prayer. Dont watch tv or use the computer and read the Bible. By the way it is wrong to have sex in the Catholic Church. It may feel comftorable while you are doing it, but think about how uncomftorable it will be when your body is burning in hell.
Click to expand...
GOOD GRIEF…WHERE DO YOU THINK ALL THE NEW LITTLE CATHOLICS COME FROM!!! This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read on these forums!!! Probably a ruse…

My advice…invite yourself to your wife’s next OB-Gyn appointment. Be present when he/she tells your wife it is PERFECTLY safe to have sex while pregnant. It was all my poor husband could do to keep up w/ me with all the extra hormones flowing when I was prego~and we had no complications, pre-term labor or anything else.

Don’t wait, don’t suffer in silence and keep telling your wife she’s beautiful to you. She needs to hear that…the go have some fun!!! 😉
 
mkipp–I’m sorry you’re dealing with this…I don’t have much in the way of advice, but I will keep you in my prayers that you will avoid temptations to sin.
 
Island_Oak said:
GOOD GRIEF…WHERE DO YOU THINK ALL THE NEW LITTLE CATHOLICS COME FROM!!! This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read on these forums!!! Probably a ruse…

My advice…invite yourself to your wife’s next OB-Gyn appointment. Be present when he/she tells your wife it is PERFECTLY safe to have sex while pregnant. It was all my poor husband could do to keep up w/ me with all the extra hormones flowing when I was prego~and we had no complications, pre-term labor or anything else.

Don’t wait, don’t suffer in silence and keep telling your wife she’s beautiful to you. She needs to hear that…the go have some fun!!! 😉
Click to expand...
*😃 I was thinking this, but… Island Oak says it best! I also felt more ‘in the mood’ during pregnancy. :o I was a little tentative at first also, mkipp, but it would be a good idea like Island Oak says to go to the doctor with her, because unless he states so, it is perfectly safe to have relations with your wife during her pregnancy.

Anyways, listen to Island Oak. :)*
 
Sexual relations during pregnancy isn’t wrong nor should it be an uncomfortable issue. On the contrary, it is a healthy practice. :ehh: I know it may go against what your wife wants, but this is definitely something that needs to be discussed with her.

Ironically Yours, Blade and Blood
 
Holyfire said:
spend most of your time in prayer. Dont watch tv or use the computer and read the Bible. By the way it is wrong to have sex in the Catholic Church. It may feel comftorable while you are doing it, but think about how uncomftorable it will be when your body is burning in hell.
Click to expand...
Say WHAT??? Where do you get this erroneous idea??

Married Catholics most certainly will NOT be “burning in hell” because they’ve have sex!! Remember the command “be fruitful and multiply”? Just how is that supposed to happen otherwise??? :eek::rolleyes::cool::eek:

Sheesh!! Some people’s ideas…:cool:
 
I will try to be discreet since I am normally not so loose on this subject, but I prefer my wife physically when she is expecting- there is something special about it I like. This is good because my wife enjoys being expectant and I am enthusiastic about it when she is. But I also try not to treat her too differently, because I know initially that is what made her uncomfortable, feeling like it was something unusual or strange. I behave naturally, since it is a natural event, and she likes that. Thankfully, we would like God to grant us a lot of children, so I think we are properly disposed towards it! Treat your wife as you always would and if you help her feel that there is nothing different about her as person I think she will warm up to you. I am not saying do not treat her special, just do not act like she is a shrinking violet who cannot handle her burden. If she feels like herself, she will be that way with you as well.
 
Take her out, romantic dinner, dancing - a funny movie. Date her. Make her FEEL smart and attractive.
 
9 mos of pregnany then 6 weeks post partum? That’s a long time. Longer considering that after the 6 weeks, she might still be sore, not to mention tired.

Do you suppose there is more going on than meets the eye?
 
This sounds like a recipe for resentment to me.

Tell your wife how you feel, and what this has led you to. She is supposed to be helping you get to heaven…
 
Island_Oak said:
GOOD GRIEF…WHERE DO YOU THINK ALL THE NEW LITTLE CATHOLICS COME FROM!!! This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read on these forums!!! Probably a ruse…

My advice…invite yourself to your wife’s next OB-Gyn appointment. Be present when he/she tells your wife it is PERFECTLY safe to have sex while pregnant. It was all my poor husband could do to keep up w/ me with all the extra hormones flowing when I was prego~and we had no complications, pre-term labor or anything else.

Don’t wait, don’t suffer in silence and keep telling your wife she’s beautiful to you. She needs to hear that…the go have some fun!!! 😉
Click to expand...
ROTFLOL Yeah! What she said!😃
 
So far so good. Yo tell her you think she’s beautiful. Check.

She says “no I’m not, I’m fat.” STOP her right there! Be a little angry if necessary to get her attention.

Fat is what happens when you eat too much and don’t excercise enough. It’s a symptom of unhealthy lifestyle. Pregnancy is NOT fat and is NOT a symptom of ANYTHING unhealthy! God designed the female body with the amazing gift of nurturing tiny new life until it is ready to live in the open world. That is something unspeakably beautiful and you should tell her she is NEVER to compare pregnancy to being FAT ever again.

It is nothign but sick “Cosmo” American body image crapola talking to describe pregnancy as being fat. You get the idea. Refuse to be intimidated by her negative body images (and make SURE you haven’t given the devil any sort of similar foothold in your own thinking). She ain’t a sex machine, she’s your WIFE and she’s never been more wifely than she is right now (presuming this is the first kid, of course).

And feel free to humuliate yourself a little bit with obvious pathetic desperation. Wives dig just a LITTLE bit of that from time to time. Oops! TMI… 😊
 
Well I come to you as a woman who has also an amazing hubby and have been pregnant 4x and must say what happens to a woman when they are pregnant is ALLOT because as this little blessing is growing in your womb so is everything else! I must say you sound like a wonderful husband. My husband personally was VERY even I was amazed at how patient and it wasn’t that I was afraid of hurting the baby as I knew that wasn’t going to be the case its again woman’s horomones during pregnancy changes… BUT what I could tell you is to con’t being loving and ask if your wife needs anything that was the most important thing for me and made me want to be able to do for my husband and our unions were that much better. I remember when I was pregnant with our oldest DD I couldn’t even think of sex! and all I did was cry w/out knowing why …lol… but it made me love my husband more because he was there so much w/me. I think we weren’t in union hmm until I was like 8 mths! but my husband was patient and him understanding what was going on with me as I was growing in my womb our child that meant more then he will ever know 🙂 I will pray for you and your wife so your wife may see how you miss her union and for you to con’t. being a wonderful husband. 🙂 :thumbsup:Also congrats to you and your wife on your blessings 🙂

-Ellie
 
Wow. Um, I will agree that if I’m watching TV or using the computer, or reading the Bible, I ain’t having sex. 😛 I would also agree that it would be wrong to have sex inside a Catholic (or any other) church.

If what you say is true, then I’m going to be in purgatory for a looooooooooong time.
Holyfire said:
spend most of your time in prayer. Dont watch tv or use the computer and read the Bible. By the way it is wrong to have sex in the Catholic Church. It may feel comftorable while you are doing it, but think about how uncomftorable it will be when your body is burning in hell.
Click to expand...
mkipp
Much good advice already. Just be patient, keep loving her reassuring her how much you love her and how beautiful she is, and maybe she’ll get past what she’s feeling. Now, your original question about keeping your mind off having sex, then I certainly would NOT follow the advice quoted above. Watch TV!👍 (I’m kidding.)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top