What can stop the feeling of darkness when you feel life is pointless?

[Zundrah]

I don’t know how personnal you can be on this site but basically I will give this a go;
I had something very bad happen to me when I was a child in a care home, (I don’t really want to say any more detail).

Even to this day it still really haunts me, I can’t seem to get away from the memory of it. It went on for so long and has never left my head. I suffer with bad depression now and that is probably why some of my post and threads seem a little wacky at times…
When this feeling of depression grips me, I don’t know what to do. How do I get away from it? My doctor wont give me medication for it - he says it will do more bad than good.
I stopped seeing my councellor about this. And I am scared of the court trial that will obviously come to surface one day…

 

[judechild]

I’m sorry to hear about your troubled past.

Really, all you can do is ride it out through whatever it is that keeps you going. Prayer will certainly help, but I’m sure you tried that in various forms already; you might try the Jesus Prayer, if you’re comfortable with repeat praying. Even simply the name of Jesus prayed over and over again can have great consoling effect; it **is **the most powerful name around.

Really, though, this problem belongs in the realm of Psychology more than Theology. Maybe you should try a different doctor. The most important thing, though, is that you don’t give up!

 

[Zundrah]

I’m sorry to hear about your troubled past.

Really, all you can do is ride it out through whatever it is that keeps you going. Prayer will certainly help, but I’m sure you tried that in various forms already; you might try the Jesus Prayer, if you’re comfortable with repeat praying. Even simply the name of Jesus prayed over and over again can have great consoling effect; it **is **the most powerful name around.

Really, though, this problem belongs in the realm of Psychology more than Theology. Maybe you should try a different doctor. The most important thing, though, is that you don’t give up!

Maybe I should try another doctor,
My rosary does help, I like praying to Mary.
When ever I feel down I look up at the crusifix on my wall and it helps me remember why I’m saved and how much he loves me. It’s also great to hear support from you! I keep at least one cross in each room and a rasory hangs from my kitchen too. I got this tiny cross that I hold in my pocket through out the day. I put it by my bed side if I need to take it and pray during the first few hours at night when I think about the days events. It was a great idea to carry it every where because if I forget to pray, it reminds me!
Also I carry a bible page in my wallet (might sound crazy) it is a psalm, I read through it if I’m down, no matter where I am.

 

[DawnInTexas]

Dearest Zundrah:

Jesus Christ is the Divine Healer. Yes, He works both through the Doctors-and through Grace by prayer. You’ve been hurt and am carrying quite a load. I can tell-you haven’t forgiven. If you do not forgive, it can be paralyzing. Stop you from growing into the person you can and want to be. Like a cancer, it will fester and grow. Make you sick. Unforgiveness can even make you dysfunctional in areas that are not healthy.

My suggestion to you is to do 2 things: 1. Either re-post your same question in “Ask an Apologist” ~or~ e-mail Father Vincent Serpa->the Priest in “Ask an Apologist,” and ask him privately.

I believe by reading what Fr. Serpa has written-he has a special gift for heading people in the right direction. He will pray for you too. I absolutely love to read his responses (especially) in that Forum. He gives special advice and will send readings/prayers to individuals.

***I see what you have posted as reaching out for help/advice. God Love you, you must be miserable. You see, I had an alcoholic father-I had to forgive. It ate at me. Forgiveness is a special Grace from God, and it is not easy. “Easier said than done.” A heavy cross to bear, that’s for sure.

Get Healthy. Get going. Let me (or us on this thread-either way) know how you are doing, even if it is a year from now. But, get help. I love you in Christ Jesus. You are in my prayers.

+Peace Be With You.
-Dawn

 

[guanophore]

Maybe I should try another doctor,
My rosary does help, I like praying to Mary.
When ever I feel down I look up at the crusifix on my wall and it helps me remember why I’m saved and how much he loves me. It’s also great to hear support from you! I keep at least one cross in each room and a rasory hangs from my kitchen too. I got this tiny cross that I hold in my pocket through out the day. I put it by my bed side if I need to take it and pray during the first few hours at night when I think about the days events. It was a great idea to carry it every where because if I forget to pray, it reminds me!
Also I carry a bible page in my wallet (might sound crazy) it is a psalm, I read through it if I’m down, no matter where I am.

My, this is very curious. You claim to have a Rosary, and pray to Mary, yet on another thread I just read where you wrote that you never met a priest, went to Mass, or knew what holy water was for. Hope you are enjoying entertaining yourself here.

 

[DawnInTexas]

My, this is very curious. You claim to have a Rosary, and pray to Mary, yet on another thread I just read where you wrote that you never met a priest, went to Mass, or knew what holy water was for. Hope you are enjoying entertaining yourself here.

Oh my!

 

[Eucharisted]

Prayer and hope

 

[Zundrah]

My, this is very curious. You claim to have a Rosary, and pray to Mary, yet on another thread I just read where you wrote that you never met a priest, went to Mass, or knew what holy water was for. Hope you are enjoying entertaining yourself here.

I knew this would happen.
Priest, mass, holy water - what in God’s name has that got to do with depression.
I can see that you think this is just a sick twisted joke.
I shouldn’t have made this thread - If I can delete it, can some one tell me how to?

 

[guanophore]

I knew this would happen.
Priest, mass, holy water - what in God’s name has that got to do with depression.
I can see that you think this is just a sick twisted joke.
I shouldn’t have made this thread - If I can delete it, can some one tell me how to?

Actually, priest, Mass and Holy water can have a great deal to do with healing depression. I know this from personal experience.

You can contact the Moderator and ask that the thread be deleted. It will not necessarily happen, but since you are the OP (original poster) it seems more likely that it might.

As far as the sick twisted joke, I am not sure what to think about you at this point. I am more concerned that you quit seeing your therapist than the other signs of concern I have seen here such as your disingenuous methods, and the fact that you have 140 some postings in only about a weeks time. This is a common pattern for trolls, and is a warning sign. I hope that I am wrong. Either way, you will be in my prayers.

 

[Bob_Crowley]

I don’t know how personnal you can be on this site but basically I will give this a go;
I had something very bad happen to me when I was a child in a care home, (I don’t really want to say any more detail).

Even to this day it still really haunts me, I can’t seem to get away from the memory of it. It went on for so long and has never left my head. I suffer with bad depression now and that is probably why some of my post and threads seem a little wacky at times…
When this feeling of depression grips me, I don’t know what to do. How do I get away from it? My doctor wont give me medication for it - he says it will do more bad than good.
I stopped seeing my councellor about this. And I am scared of the court trial that will obviously come to surface one day…

I didn’t go through a care home, but my father was a real mongrel to me. I ended up with depression and he cost me a lot in life, as I’ve come to realise. I was on Prozac for about ten years, which did help. When a person has been depressed for a long time, their brain chemistry changes. Prozac and drugs like it gradually shift the brain’s chemistry back towards what it should be.

I did have the good fortune to find a Catholic psychiatrist who has experienced some of the spritual things I’ve had. He was also the one who put me on Prozac.

There have been other developments which haven’t helped, so I also struggle at times with the sense of “what’s the point?” One can feel at times that God’s got it in for you. That’s how I feel sometimes.

So I think the answer lies in our atttitude to suffering. I, for one, have a difficult time forgiving my father because his cruelty was deliberate. He told me so. The other thing that I find difficult is to hand over my suffering to Christ as part of bearing His cross with Him. The reason I find this so difficult is the discouragement I received at the hands of my first Protestant pastor, who seemed to imply that it was “all my fault” somehow, although he did apologise eventually. I might point out he was a spiritual father figure, so I have this problem with God as “Father”, in the sense that my natural father was a real bastard, and my spiritual father-figure was discouraging.

This cheesed me off, and it still does. It implies God can’t do any better than that. Where’s this much vaunted “Fatherhood” of His? It merely confirmed for me that “God had it in for me.” The reality however is that it is probably the devil who has it in for us collectively, and will use whatever means he can to do so.

In the end, it is our reaction to these things that determines the depth of our faith. One thing I’d suggest - if you think God hasn’t been fait to you, let Him know about it, loud and clear. The reality is that He’s unfair to a lot of people. Hopefully He’s big enough to accept a complaint or two, so at least get it off your chest.

 

[Zundrah]

Once again, my threads are being hi jacked!
I knew it could come back to me if I posted some thing too sensitive about myself.
I stopped seeing my councillor because I couldn’t keep talking about it. She wanted me to make reports but I didn’t want to do that. It was just too much. I suppose you will never understand that.
I did tell my minister but she was far from helpfull. Kept diverting the conversation. Some people don’t like talking about these things. I can understand that, shesn’t mean for not wanting to talk about it. She has the right to say no.

This is a no go erea subject for most people, which is why it is always kept silent. I kept it silent for 8 years! It is like a desease that slowly destroys you. I was so depressed before I found my church. But since I have stopped going I have been down again. And not having that social group to talk to is a dissadvantage. I ended up going on web sites and that drew me to this site because it lets you speach about your worries.
It’s so nice when people give you possitive responses. But some times I wonder because there are some real meanies on this site that seem to love nothing more than leaving bitter and negative post on your threads.

 

[Zundrah]

Bob Crowley,

I know what you mean when you say that you can feel that God has it in for you.
The past is hard to forget, but it is easy to forget what christ did for us some times.
We must never forget that what happened on that cross is more powerful than any thing else in the world. More powerfull than what the devil can do and more powerful than what we can negatively throw at God.
He died for us and that will never change, if we curse him - he will blow kisses back to us.
If we forsake him - he looks for us.
If we forget him - he does things to reminds us.
He is always there singing his love to us quietly. If you choose to ignore him, then he will make ways of having you listen to him again. He is never silent and still, but waiting and caring.
Thank you for sharing.

 

[guanophore]

Once again, my threads are being hi jacked!
I knew it could come back to me if I posted some thing too sensitive about myself.

My young brother. When a thread is “hijacked” it means it is ripped off the topic. If you look back at the topic you chose above, it will be clear to see that the thread is right on topic. It started about you, and it is all about you. You are right, it will come back to you if you post something sensitive about yourself. You stated that you wanted attention in several threads, and you are getting it. Is this a case of being careful what you ask for?

I stopped seeing my councillor because I couldn’t keep talking about it. She wanted me to make reports but I didn’t want to do that. It was just too much. I suppose you will never understand that.

On the contrary, I understand that far better than you can imagine.

I did tell my minister but she was far from helpfull. Kept diverting the conversation. Some people don't like talking about these things. I can understand that, shesn't mean for not wanting to talk about it. She has the right to say no.

Clearly she is not the person who is able to help you with this. You are right, some people are just not prepared for it.

This is a no go erea subject for most people, which is why it is always kept silent. I kept it silent for 8 years! It is like a desease that slowly destroys you.

This is very true, however, I do not think a public internet forum is the appropriate venue for it either.

I was so depressed before I found my church. But since I have stopped going I have been down again. And not having that social group to talk to is a dissadvantage. I ended up going on web sites and that drew me to this site because it lets you speach about your worries.

I am sure you will find some support here, but the main mission of CAF is to provide “Catholic Answers”. Starting threads with the title “Catholics are Deluded” as you have done is counterproductive.

It’s so nice when people give you possitive responses. But some times I wonder because there are some real meanies on this site that seem to love nothing more than leaving bitter and negative post on your threads.

Most of us are here primarily to defend our faith. When people come in making disingenuous or slanderous remarks we start bristling.

Perhaps you are genuinely a troubled young person that needs support. You can get it here, but it will come much easier if your requests for it are not couched in games such as you have been playing on some of the other threads.

 

[Zundrah]

For a start guanophore,

I am not your brother, or at least I wouldn’t treat my siblings like this…
I am only capable of being a sister since I am female.

Your “help” here is far from doing any good.

 

[Em_in_FL]

I would suggest looking for a new doctor.
My prayers will be with you.

 

[Rascalking]

I’m so sorry for you. Here is a huge cyber hug.

Get a new doctor and therapist-NOW.

I have seen people who were deeply depressed go on anti depressants and it literally changes their life around. Talk to the doctor about it.

 

[txzimmer]

I pray that you will find what you need to help you feel better. There is always hope. You are Gods child, he knew you name before you were in the womb. He has plans for you. Continue to pray to Mary. Let her comfort you as she did Jesus. You are not alone. You are loved.

 

[roselily]

I have read so many sufferings; I thought that we should hold a cross in our heart, remember- Christ died on cross, and we will have eternal life.

“In the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to the one who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Although he was a Son, he learned obedience through what he suffered;”

• Hebrews 5:7-8

pray to Holy Mother! O mother of God! O Most Holy Mother!

 

[GracedUpon]

I definitely agree with the other posters who have suggested finding a new doctor and a new counselor. Even if you don’t find a new doctor (presuming you are speaking of your PCP), your counselor will be able to refer you to a psychiatrist who won’t hesitate to prescribe you medications, if that is what you want. Just make sure that you are aware of the side effects of the meds if you choose to take that route.

I would also suggest you look for support groups in your area for whatever trauma you faced. It may help you to know that you are not the only one who has this type of cross to bear, and they may offer you some advice to help you decide whether or not to press charges, etc.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I don’t know what you are going through, but you are in my prayers. Remember, God is always with you so you are never alone. If you are willing to let Him, He will help to lighten your load.

God bless.

 

[dakotagirl]

You need to see a different doctor. I’m so sorry this is happening.