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longshanks1011
Guest
what do u consider modest? are minnie skirts to short? how low should a top be? are bikinis ok? im always getting in arguments with my mom on this suject and wanted to see what the rest of you guys thought.
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Fox
Guest
Me personally, for males, if you are working outside or exercising outside, you can go with your shirt off.
I lived a good deal of my life in Europe and nudity (not porn) was a common thing, it doesn’t bother me. Perhaps I can control urges better than most, I don’t know.
I think a little above the knee isn’t bad for skirts, I don’t want to see you undergarments and some skirts do just that.
I see nothing wrong on showing midriffs either.
Whatever you do don’t where revealing clothes that shows your goods.
Tasteful swimwear is good, don’t go for the flossy stuff. Just think of what Our Blessed Mother would wear to the beach, there are some tasteful bikinis out there.
I lived a good deal of my life in Europe and nudity (not porn) was a common thing, it doesn’t bother me. Perhaps I can control urges better than most, I don’t know.
I think a little above the knee isn’t bad for skirts, I don’t want to see you undergarments and some skirts do just that.
I see nothing wrong on showing midriffs either.
Whatever you do don’t where revealing clothes that shows your goods.
Tasteful swimwear is good, don’t go for the flossy stuff. Just think of what Our Blessed Mother would wear to the beach, there are some tasteful bikinis out there.
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Lady_Cygnus
Guest
There was a time when I thought miniskirts were too long, bikinis were great and my mom had no style.
When I left for college I started wearing this stuff (would never have dreamed of disobeying my mom while under her roof!). When I wore these cloths men treated me like an assortment of body parts; like I didn’t have a mind at all. I didn’t respect myself or the men, they didn’t respect me, and felt guilty and miserable a lot.
Then I began really looking at how things looked on me - yeck who wants to see that much?! Now I think knee length is too short (I love long flowing skirts), a one piece is a little too revealing and my mom still has no style
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Fox
Guest
It also depends where in the world you grew up in.
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puzzleannie
Guest
the general public should not see areas of the body that belong only to your husband and that should first be seen by him alone on your wedding night. for an example of immodest dress look at what the hollywierds wear to the Oscars. The general public should also not be able to ascertain the brand and style of underwear you have on (or don’t have on). I am in a position to report that it is the unanimous opinion of those of us who have reached retirement age–including and especially the men–that current fashions including crop tops, plunging necklines, tight low rider jeans with thick belts worn over thongs, skin tight tops and high slit skirts are, shall we say, definitely NOT flattering to 90% of young ladies who wear them.
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La_Chiara
Guest
Actually, men working or exercising in public without a shirt on (with the sole exception of swimming) is (strictly speaking) considered to be in poor taste. (Similarly, men wearing a hat of any sort indoors is bad manners.) Yes, I know lots of men do it. But they aren’t “gentlemen”.
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Didi
Guest
Not only wear clothes that would not offend Our Blessed Mother; wear clothes that will not offend Our Lord and Savior.
Especially for girls, please keep your tummies, your tooshies and your cleavages covered.
What many girls don’t realize is that males are very visual people, that’s how God made them. You actually cause your brothers in Christ to sin when you wear clothes that make them think impure thoughts.
Don’t you want to attract a guy who likes you because of your personality, finds you interesting and wants to get to know you better? That’s not what they’re thinking when all they see is skin.
Especially for girls, please keep your tummies, your tooshies and your cleavages covered.
What many girls don’t realize is that males are very visual people, that’s how God made them. You actually cause your brothers in Christ to sin when you wear clothes that make them think impure thoughts.
Don’t you want to attract a guy who likes you because of your personality, finds you interesting and wants to get to know you better? That’s not what they’re thinking when all they see is skin.
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RockAndHoops
Guest
I personally have much more respect for a girl that wears a one-pice than a bikini. Helps keep my mind off things it shouldn’t be on. 
And just modest dress in general, where you aren’t trying to show anything, makes a girl much more attractive because she cares about herself enough not to be treated like an object, not to treat herself like an object, and to keep herself for her husband. And yes, I know I have to do my part to not look, and I try, but it certainly helps if the girl isn’t bringing attention to those areas.
And just modest dress in general, where you aren’t trying to show anything, makes a girl much more attractive because she cares about herself enough not to be treated like an object, not to treat herself like an object, and to keep herself for her husband. And yes, I know I have to do my part to not look, and I try, but it certainly helps if the girl isn’t bringing attention to those areas.
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carol_marie
Guest
Listen to your Mother. We are always right. Someday you will be a mother and you’ll see that for yourself. Trust me. :yup:
P.S. In my opinion - most mini skirts are too short - they barely cover the butt and it’s just NOT attractive unless you are built like a twig and who want to be built like a twig? Cover your belly. Most girls I see with their bellies showing have a tummy roll. This is no doubt caused by the too short mini skirt that barely covers the hips in a size she WISHES she was. Also not good.
And to the guys: Wear pants that fit. No one wants to see your boxer shorts poking out from your pants that are 5 sizes too big - held up by that ridiculous looking belt. You don’t look cool - you look like you borrowed clothes from your very overweight Uncle.
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Forest-Pine
Guest
As someone who is tall and slender, I constantly got the comment that I “should be a model.” I also worked for years at a swimming pool. And I got in constant fights with my grandmother (who purchased my clothes) over what I should wear. Apparently I’ve been a prude my entire life! 
(I’m probably not too much older than you, either.)
) who thinks if you aren’t wearing a thong hanging out of your pants and clearly visible because of your crop top, low cut shirt you are a prude, and a grown woman who is the epitome of prideful and materialistic, and loves to wear very low cut shirts and point out that her chest size far surpasses mine in the hopes of hurting my feelings. Funny thing is that I have the last laugh as I know what the men say about her when she leaves. They compare her to me and say she could never measure up! :bounce: Ha! (And boy do they say some other mean stuff about her, too!)
As a matter of fact, I constantly am praised for my clothing choices and regularly have people ask me for guidance in making their own clothing and make-up choices. It’s great when someone says I’m “naturally beautiful” and don’t need make-up because I can take the opportunity to tell her how to do her make-up naturally, too. (I wear foundation, concealer, blush, eye shadow, eye liner, mascara, lip liner, lip stick, and powder.) And no one has ever pointed out that I am dressed prudishly (other than my frustrated Grandmother who hates shopping with me) as I am wearing attractive and modern clothes that look great on my body. Even the aforementioned two women ask ME for clothing advice. And judging by the number of guys who hit on me at the pool, I don’t think the shorts over my bathing suit made me unpopular. Quite the contrary, the guys usually feel much more comfortable around me.
There are all sorts of ways to be modest while looking great. For instance, this bathing suit from ohanaswimwear:
http://www.ohanaswimwear.com/popups/images/junior_shorts/jr_sporty_board_shorts_04.jpg
What really makes you look great is to have confidence, be intelligent, have charm, have some mystery, a great smile. Then the guys will look you in the eyes and long for your presence after you are gone. Otherwise what they are saying is, “did you see her bazumbas?” and when one answers, “Who are you talking about?” they all come back to see you, for the benefit of the one gawker to check out your body. Not the kind of guys you want to be attracting, and not the type of image you want to be giving off.
Think of all the powerful women in the world. The queens, the senators, the first ladies, the presidents. Then go look up pictures of them. The truly powerful women are respected for the work they do and the character they exhibit. Their dress is always moderate and tasteful. There is a reason for that: they don’t need to show their bazumbas to get their point across.
(I’m probably not too much older than you, either.)- I wore a one-piece bathing suit with running shorts over them.
- I do not wear anything that shows my cleavage, and bend over to double-check in the mirror before purchasing.
- I love skirts that come right below the knee on me. I think the acceptable length depends on the height of the person. My sister, for instance, (who is also quite tall) wearing a skirt half-way between knees and you-know-where is not acceptable. My friend, who is rather short, would be just fine in it.
- I don’t show midriff. My shirt either tucks in or is long enough to cover the top of my pants when I move around.
- Arm holes do not show through to my chest.
- Clothes are not tight enough to make the bumps and wrinkles show.
- My make-up is natural.
) who thinks if you aren’t wearing a thong hanging out of your pants and clearly visible because of your crop top, low cut shirt you are a prude, and a grown woman who is the epitome of prideful and materialistic, and loves to wear very low cut shirts and point out that her chest size far surpasses mine in the hopes of hurting my feelings. Funny thing is that I have the last laugh as I know what the men say about her when she leaves. They compare her to me and say she could never measure up! :bounce: Ha! (And boy do they say some other mean stuff about her, too!)As a matter of fact, I constantly am praised for my clothing choices and regularly have people ask me for guidance in making their own clothing and make-up choices. It’s great when someone says I’m “naturally beautiful” and don’t need make-up because I can take the opportunity to tell her how to do her make-up naturally, too. (I wear foundation, concealer, blush, eye shadow, eye liner, mascara, lip liner, lip stick, and powder.) And no one has ever pointed out that I am dressed prudishly (other than my frustrated Grandmother who hates shopping with me) as I am wearing attractive and modern clothes that look great on my body. Even the aforementioned two women ask ME for clothing advice. And judging by the number of guys who hit on me at the pool, I don’t think the shorts over my bathing suit made me unpopular. Quite the contrary, the guys usually feel much more comfortable around me.
There are all sorts of ways to be modest while looking great. For instance, this bathing suit from ohanaswimwear:
http://www.ohanaswimwear.com/popups/images/junior_shorts/jr_sporty_board_shorts_04.jpg
What really makes you look great is to have confidence, be intelligent, have charm, have some mystery, a great smile. Then the guys will look you in the eyes and long for your presence after you are gone. Otherwise what they are saying is, “did you see her bazumbas?” and when one answers, “Who are you talking about?” they all come back to see you, for the benefit of the one gawker to check out your body. Not the kind of guys you want to be attracting, and not the type of image you want to be giving off.
Think of all the powerful women in the world. The queens, the senators, the first ladies, the presidents. Then go look up pictures of them. The truly powerful women are respected for the work they do and the character they exhibit. Their dress is always moderate and tasteful. There is a reason for that: they don’t need to show their bazumbas to get their point across.
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cynic
Guest
Looks pretty revealing to me.
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Forest-Pine
Guest
Well then for you there is wholesomewear:
(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)
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stanley123
Guest
I think that the way Islamic women dress is modest. It is similar to the dress that I see in an icon of Mary.
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Forest-Pine
Guest
I agree. I’ve found several clothing stores online and through the mail that cater to Moslems with modern clothes that have lower shirt hem lines, higher necks, etc while still being current fashion. I love them! Catholic doctrine aligns quite closely with Moslem doctrine in this regard (modesty in clothing) but the Moslems do a much better job at supporting and encouraging each other in modest dress.
This is an interesting website I just found about Islamic dress codes basics for women. He sounds a little modern for a Moslem, but he says:
God, the Most Merciful, gave us three basic rules for the Dress Code for Women in Islam (Submission),
(1) The BEST garment is the garment of righteousness.
(2) Whenever you dress , cover your chest (bosoms).
(3) Lengthen your garment.
While these three BASIC rules may not sound enough for those who do not trust God, the TRUE believers know that God is ENOUGH. God could have given us more details to the point of having graphs, designs and color rules, but He , the Most Merciful, wants to give us exactly these very basic rules and leave the rest for us. After these three basic rules every woman is more aware of her circumstances and can adjust her dress for her situation. Any addition to these basic Quranic rules is an attempt to correct God or improve on His merciful design.
This is an interesting website I just found about Islamic dress codes basics for women. He sounds a little modern for a Moslem, but he says:
God, the Most Merciful, gave us three basic rules for the Dress Code for Women in Islam (Submission),
(1) The BEST garment is the garment of righteousness.
(2) Whenever you dress , cover your chest (bosoms).
(3) Lengthen your garment.
While these three BASIC rules may not sound enough for those who do not trust God, the TRUE believers know that God is ENOUGH. God could have given us more details to the point of having graphs, designs and color rules, but He , the Most Merciful, wants to give us exactly these very basic rules and leave the rest for us. After these three basic rules every woman is more aware of her circumstances and can adjust her dress for her situation. Any addition to these basic Quranic rules is an attempt to correct God or improve on His merciful design.
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Fox
Guest
La Chiara:
Says you, you can tell my parents if I should die of heat stroke. No ma’am not going to happen. If you judge a man for not wearing a shirt exercising or labouring outdoors as not being a genttleman, you are wrong. You have absolutely no idea whom these men are and you pass judement on them?
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AlanFromWichita
Guest
I have news. Many men, especially healthy young ones, do not know how to distinguish why they are attracted to a woman. They truly are interested in getting to know them better, but tasteful clothing does not necessarily change what they’re thinking about.
If a woman wears revealing clothing, they will become excited to see all that stuff. If she does not, they will become excited imagining all that stuff.
It’s kind of a question of how soon you want to “play all your cards” as it were.
Alan
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deb1
Guest
One of the problems with immodest clothing is that so few women look attractive in them. In order to wear a belly showing top you must not only be thin but also have incredible stomach muscles. I’ve seen some girls that were obviously within their weight limit but had tummy rolls laping over their belts. Yuck!
I don’t think that young girls understand the reaction that they recieve from men. Most are just thrilled by the attention that immodest clothing attracts and don’t realize that they aren’t attracting the good guys. Then these girls grow up and wonder why all men are jerks.
I don’t think that young girls understand the reaction that they recieve from men. Most are just thrilled by the attention that immodest clothing attracts and don’t realize that they aren’t attracting the good guys. Then these girls grow up and wonder why all men are jerks.
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AlanFromWichita
Guest
I gave up “trying not to look” because all that did for me was make it more interesting. After almost 20 years of ever improving marriage, now my wife and I are pretty blunt about it.I personally have much more respect for a girl that wears a one-pice than a bikini. Helps keep my mind off things it shouldn’t be on.
And just modest dress in general, where you aren’t trying to show anything, makes a girl much more attractive because she cares about herself enough not to be treated like an object, not to treat herself like an object, and to keep herself for her husband. And yes, I know I have to do my part to not look, and I try, but it certainly helps if the girl isn’t bringing attention to those areas.
The other day she (my wife) pulled quite a stunt. She said Candice, the (young attractive) girl upstairs had somehow gotten locked out of her apartment, and was in her bikini (note: I have never seen her in a bathing suit) trying to climb from the top of her car onto her balcony. Not only that, but Julie said she helped her climb up!
This was NOT some information I needed to know, and I immediately protested, “where was I? I would certainly have helped, in Christian charity of course.” Julie said, “I bet you would have, but you weren’t back yet from the store.” Me, “next time you can go to the store.” She said something like, “yeah, I’ll give you a next time,” we laughed, and the conversation was over.After this much time, we finally got to where we just lay it out on the table like this, and I find it very refreshing, and much less troubling to my urges talking about it than thinking about it and trying to pretend I’m not. When I try to hide my thoughts from her, it’s usually wasted effort anyway.
Alan
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AlanFromWichita
Guest
Dear Forest-Pine,
You seem to have a very good handle on the situation. Men are undoubtedly still looking and imagining, but really flashes of skin like the midriffs and stuff really can be attention-getters so if you and a “comparable” woman with more skin were next to each other, in that “less than two second glance” allowed before it becomes oogling, chances are they will take a quick survey, note your face, and then the body of the one you’re next to. If there’s a second guy, after you pass them one might say to the other, “hey the tall one was cute, but I like that yellow bikini on the other one. Her face wasn’t as cute though.” Guy two, “oh, I didn’t make it to up to the face.”
Forest-Pine:
Here’s the problem; now of course I am curious to see a photo of you.
Here’s one of me:
Julie said she’ll have to remember that, and got this evil grin. I told her she better not try it herself unless she gets more training. I said that if a girl actually said to a guy about another girl, “she wants you” that would be an instant boost to his self-esteem because it would be commentary on them – plus the guy is probably going to believe she is serious so she had better be if she ever says that. When guys say it they can be ambiguous about it because they might know they’re a fat slob and have no chance, but they say it anyway. Girls you would probably barf if you knew what some of the guys look like who have wishfully stated, “she wants me” to another guy.
us.news3.yimg.com/us.i2.yimg.com/p/ap/20050905/capt.txps10609051518.katrina_former_presidents_txps106.jpg?x=380&y=268&sig=REqvMmZH.tPAVzEHnh_JOg–
(Sorry I can’t get the photo to display for some reason, but the link still works at this time to click it and see.)
Julie looked at the photo and said, “she looks like a dyke.” Of course, Julie knows these things better than I do because apparently there were quite a few at her college, St. Mary-of-the-Plains in Dodge City.
I said, “that’s probably why Bill went with whatever fat intern he could get.”
Alan
You seem to have a very good handle on the situation. Men are undoubtedly still looking and imagining, but really flashes of skin like the midriffs and stuff really can be attention-getters so if you and a “comparable” woman with more skin were next to each other, in that “less than two second glance” allowed before it becomes oogling, chances are they will take a quick survey, note your face, and then the body of the one you’re next to. If there’s a second guy, after you pass them one might say to the other, “hey the tall one was cute, but I like that yellow bikini on the other one. Her face wasn’t as cute though.” Guy two, “oh, I didn’t make it to up to the face.”
Yeah, really. You are helping them control the direction their eyes are pointing, giving them one less thing to feel paranoid about when talking to you.
Here’s the problem; now of course I am curious to see a photo of you.
Here’s one of me:
I found out only two days ago that my wife did not know what guys say to each other in cases like this – even guys who are all bark and no bite, if ya know what I mean. If they have some displays going, I think you’re right it is more likely to get return visits for sightseers, but display or not if they are attractive one of the proper responses for a guy would be “she wanted you,” to which the reply is, “of course.” One various is would be to adjust the belt line a bit and say, “she wanted me,” to which the reply is “of course.”
Julie said she’ll have to remember that, and got this evil grin. I told her she better not try it herself unless she gets more training. I said that if a girl actually said to a guy about another girl, “she wants you” that would be an instant boost to his self-esteem because it would be commentary on them – plus the guy is probably going to believe she is serious so she had better be if she ever says that. When guys say it they can be ambiguous about it because they might know they’re a fat slob and have no chance, but they say it anyway. Girls you would probably barf if you knew what some of the guys look like who have wishfully stated, “she wants me” to another guy.
There’s another reason, too. Some of them are just plain hideous. For example, last night I saw Hillary’s photo on Drudge Report and commented to Julie, “I can’t believe how ugly Hillary’s getting.”
us.news3.yimg.com/us.i2.yimg.com/p/ap/20050905/capt.txps10609051518.katrina_former_presidents_txps106.jpg?x=380&y=268&sig=REqvMmZH.tPAVzEHnh_JOg–
(Sorry I can’t get the photo to display for some reason, but the link still works at this time to click it and see.)
Julie looked at the photo and said, “she looks like a dyke.” Of course, Julie knows these things better than I do because apparently there were quite a few at her college, St. Mary-of-the-Plains in Dodge City.
I said, “that’s probably why Bill went with whatever fat intern he could get.”
Alan
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AlanFromWichita
Guest
You are so right!
My (10th grade) daughter is especially aware of these things; she says of her friends, "so-and-so really should NOT be wearing those types of clothes. She herself does not wear them.
The slightest flaw will be noticed if flaunted. Of course, if it’s only mild it may still attract gazes, but with derogatory commentary even while mixed with lustful gazing – that is, unless there is “something better” to look at. Sometimes guys just have to gawk at what’s offered, even if it does have a bit of a role. Depending on what attitude we want to feign, we might say, “maybe she should have laid off on a few of them Twinkies,” or “at least she’s trying to show us something – I’ll give her credit for that.”
All this, of course, from some morbidly obese dudes twice her age.
Alan
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