What clothing do you consider modest?

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La Chiara:
I am not wrong. I have a different opinion than you do. And you certainly are entitled to your own opinion as I am to mine. If you are at Andrews AFB, there are probably military standards of decorum–though you may not follow them if you are a family member. Men without shirts are vulgar and coarse, to many of us “of a certain age” (as we euphemistically say). You WILL not die of heat stroke, INDEED you will protect yourself from over-exposure to the sun if you wear a loose-fitting, cotton t-shirt. Do airmen at Andrews run without t-shirts? I don’t think so.

Finally, I also think it is the height of immodesty for women to run in “sports bras”. They too should wear a loose-fitting, cotton, modest t-shirt. I certainly hope there is none of that at Andrews. And if you have a fitness center at Andrews, I’ll bet there is a rule that everyone must wear shirts with sleeves. Am I right? Thought so. Isn’t Andrews where all the big-wigs and muckety-much government types fly in? I guess you are dressed (rather than half-naked) when you have reason to run across them.

Note: I see from your profile that you are either an airman (or worse yet, perhaps an officer:bigyikes: ) and not a family member, as I might have guessed from your comment about your parents’ reaction to heatstroke. Good heavens, if you are a 30 year old AF officer, you should know standards of taste and decency in the military!)
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There are some men here that exercise without shirts while they run. In the gym you can’t be shirtless and you have to wear proper shoes no open toed ones, no rubber or latex sweat suits and no blue jeans, thats it though.

I don’t eat at the dining facility but maybe they have a dress code, like no earings, no open toed shoes, A shirts etc. other bases I was at did.

I’m not an officer but I know of some that run without their shirts too. Yes there are standards in dress while wearing the uniform but thats it.

I don’t wear my shirt sometimes if it is hot, am I vulgar?

I grew up different than you and perhaps most of the people here, Nudity was a common element for me, its not a big deal for me at any rate. Do you believe that all the works of art that shows nudity should be covered? There are even nudes in the Vatican. How about if you met an pygmy or an African tribesman that had only a loincloth on? I guess its a cultural thing.

Me personally I wear a A shirt with a white tee, or just an a shirt and jeans or shorts with sandals or flipflops.

I wear a button short sleeve shirt with an A shirt and some shoes and jeans going out to places.

I wear shorts and sometimes run without a shirt in summer when I exercise.

So here is a question for the fellas: Do you place shirts vs skins football or anything like that. How about when you swim, do you all wear shirts while swimming?
 
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Fox:
Do you believe that all the works of art that shows nudity should be covered? There are even nudes in the Vatican. How about if you met an pygmy or an African tribesman that had only a loincloth on? I guess its a cultural thing.
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No, nudity in art (generally) is fine. If I were in Africa, among African tribesman, then their dress would not be inappropriate. And going without a shirt or wearing a bathing suit are perfectly fine even in public–but almost exclusively at the beach–not at the PX, not at the Commissary, not at the Post Office, not walking down the street, and not at Mass. I take it you have never been to the Vatican or churches in Italy where sleeveless shirts and shorts are not permitted. Same principle.
 
La Chiara:
Note: I see from your profile that you are either an airman (or worse yet, perhaps an officer:bigyikes: ) and not a family member, as I might have guessed from your comment about your parents’ reaction to heatstroke. Good heavens, if you are a 30 year old AF officer, you should know standards of taste and decency in the military!)
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Sadly, I am going to destroy your faith in military men’s good taste. I have been married to a military man for 17 and 1/2 years. For many of those years we lived on mililtary bases. Yes, some men-both officers and enlisted people- run without their shirts on. Personally, it doesn’t bother me but then again I am not normally visually stimulated.
 
Oh but I have been to the Vatican. I never said you should where no shirts in Church or the like. People go to the BX and commissary how ever they like but you need a shirt and shoes. Now the looks that some give these individuals is a different story.

You had said that you wouldn’t think that the African dress was innappropriate. I think you said this because they grew up that way, you can correct me if you like if this wasn’t not your reason.

What’s the difference of running without a shirt on and going to the beach and taking it off? Or a child playing outside without a shirt or shoes?
 
Fox–I am talking about manners, about social graces, about polite behavior. You can act anyway you please. You can eat with your hands at a formal dinner with the Base Commander and his wife. You can do all sorts of inappropriate things. No one will haul you off to jail. Nor are these things sinful. But recognize that some people will view it as coarse and vulgar. They probably won’t say anything, although the “look” may say it all. So do what you want. I reserve the right to educate my family about what I believe is appropriate conduct and dress. And men wearing shirts outdoors to mow the grass or exercise is one of those things about which I do not approve. Frankly, I dislike it as much as seeing young girls who reveal their cleavage or wear too tight clothes.
 
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longshanks1011:
what do u consider modest? are minnie skirts to short? how low should a top be? are bikinis ok? im always getting in arguments with my mom on this suject and wanted to see what the rest of you guys thought.
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Longshanks,

It’s very cultural. My personal preference would be–for church at least–cover the shoulders, cover the knees, cover everything in between. That goes for both men and women. I don’t think men should appear in public without a shirt on.

In Liberia a generation ago, a woman upcountry was considered sufficiently dressed if she was covered either from shoulders to mid-thigh or from waist to ankle. As I said, it is very cultural.
  • Liberian
 
La,
So you will judge a book by its cover before you read it? I understand, enough said.
 
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longshanks1011:
what do u consider modest? are minnie skirts to short? how low should a top be? are bikinis ok? im always getting in arguments with my mom on this suject and wanted to see what the rest of you guys thought.
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For thousands of years, up to about 100 years ago, the norm of fashion for women was modest dress. The woman’s body was covered from the bottom of her neck to her ankles. Then, especially in America, the fashion industry, spearheaded by Hollywood movies, began to make immodest dress the cultural norm. Immodest dress led to promiscuity which led to more rape, pornography and the wide use of contraception. These in turn led to abortion being accepted by our culture and now we have the current culture of death. During this revolution women lost their dignity, their feminism and their chastity.

The bottom line is the immodest dress is sinful because it will cause men, who are very visual, to lust in their heart and according to Matt 5:28 “But I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” So even if you do not intend your dress to be sinful, you could unknowingly cause any man who may see you to sin. And according to Matt 13:41 *“The Son of Man will send his angels, and they will collect out of his kingdom all who cause others to sin and all evildoers.” * So a woman by causing another to sin through her immodest dress, she is also guilty of sin.

I recommend you read “Dressing with Dignity” which tell the whole story including the results of comprehensive surveys that show what men really think about the immodest dress that we are surrounded with today.

You may also want to read “If You Really Loved Me” which covers chastity and immodesty. The Pure Love Club site is loaded with information for young people who are trying to figure out what love and modesty and chastity is really all about.

So do your research and pray for the Holy Spirit to lead you to the Truth.
 
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AlanFromWichita:
I have news. Many men, especially healthy young ones, do not know how to distinguish why they are attracted to a woman. They truly are interested in getting to know them better, but tasteful clothing does not necessarily change what they’re thinking about.

If a woman wears revealing clothing, they will become excited to see all that stuff. If she does not, they will become excited imagining all that stuff.

It’s kind of a question of how soon you want to “play all your cards” as it were.

Alan
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I’m sorry, but it seems as though you think that wearing revealing clothing versus modest clothing does not make a difference, did I misunderstand you? If that is what you are saying, then I must disagree. It does make a difference. A provocative shirt will cause a reaction in more men than a modest one on the same woman.
 
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Didi:
Not only wear clothes that would not offend Our Blessed Mother; wear clothes that will not offend Our Lord and Savior.

Especially for girls, please keep your tummies, your tooshies and your cleavages covered.

What many girls don’t realize is that males are very visual people, that’s how God made them. You actually cause your brothers in Christ to sin when you wear clothes that make them think impure thoughts.

Don’t you want to attract a guy who likes you because of your personality, finds you interesting and wants to get to know you better? That’s not what they’re thinking when all they see is skin.
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I agree with you. So my answer is: 1 piece bathing suits or tankinis that cover fully, no minis or short shorts, no tummies nor cleavages in the air, and no low riders without a long shirt to cover up. 👍
 
I agree there needs to be a shift back to modesty. Our society is saturated with near pornographic suggestive images (look at the magazine rack at any supermarket). I think many men don’t even know there’s an alternative way to view women or that the status quo is actually hurting their relationships with females, not helping.

I would encourage any male to be cognizant of where his eyes go for a week and to consciously refrain from viewing anything other than a women’s eyes. After completing this test (only a week) you’ll notice that for some reason your interactions with the opposite sex were much more meaningful and that you have a much better idea of the status you have within the female relationships God has put in your life.

Just try it.

-P
 
I am a man and I do not get turned on by seeing cleavage, short shorts, midriffs, or even nudity, and not being provacative. I see God’s beauty in both male and female nude forms. Maybe I have a control on my sexuality then most men.

Of course it could be safe to say that a woman that wears very skimpy clothing is compensating for something or needs the attention, and needs some guidance. There is a time and place and circumstance for appropriate dress.

The thing that I fight against personally is actual porn, taking a natural loving act that is reserved for a husband and wife and corrupting it.
 
What I consider modest would be as follows:

skirts to knee or below (where I live, these are more fashionable than skirts above the knee anyway so it’s great)

nothing skin-tight or see-through

shoulders covered (even with light material, it’s not so difficult fo find)

Tops - now here is where I struggle, in particular when getting tops for balls/weddings etc I wore a top to a recent wedding that seemed to cause a number of men to lose eye contact with me. It wasn’t low enough to show any cleavage, just border-line though. It wasn’t see-through. Shoulders were covered and also down the arm by an inch or two. But I guess it exposed quite a “rectangle” down to the borderline area of where the “cleavage” starts.

I thought that such a top was modest by wedding standards, nothing see-through, stringy or cleavage-revealing. But the reactions I got in terms of the glances down and the sweeping eye (including by men who are strong in their faith) made me feel uncomfortable, enough to seriously consider not wearing that top again. Considering that a number of men reacted the same way, I concluded that my top was definitely the problem (I could not pass it off as one man having a problem in that area).

I am used to wearing clothes that no-one could say are in anyway immodest so I think that in future I’ll be going back to that, and not taking a chance with something that relaxed my rules a bit. But it can be hard to find those clothes especially for formal occasions. I’m not going to go out in something that’s old-fashioned or unflattering. I find that for casual / work wear it’s not difficult to find modest clothes that are cool, my struggle is in finding clothes for the very formal occasions - to cover all the bases (not see-through, not too low, shoulders covered etc) is very difficult.
 
It is hard becuase our society is always changing. Girls wear certain things to keep up with the fashion. I’m not saying it is right but I understand. Girls want to look good because that is what our culture is about! If you walk out completely covered, people will think you are nuts!
 
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longshanks1011:
what do u consider modest? are minnie skirts to short? how low should a top be? are bikinis ok? im always getting in arguments with my mom on this suject and wanted to see what the rest of you guys thought.
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Why do you want to show your body?
Minnie skirts–NO
Tops --just below the colarbone.
Bikini-- NO!
Litsten to your mom!:tsktsk:
 
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volzcpa:
For thousands of years, up to about 100 years ago, the norm of fashion for women was modest dress. The woman’s body was covered from the bottom of her neck to her ankles.

I recommend you read “Dressing with Dignity” which tell the whole story including the results of comprehensive surveys that show what men really think about the immodest dress that we are surrounded with today.
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You obviously have never noted decollete in fashion if you think all women prior to 100 years ago were covered from neck to ankle!

I beg to differ with your assessment of Dressing with Dignity. It does not have the “whole” story. Read James Laver’s Modesty in Dress if you want the “whole” story of clothing and coverage; though not a Catholic, he is a fashion expert. Also, that survey mentioned in Dressing with Dignity provides merely a few comments about women’s pants based on an unnamed marketing study, not results on immodest dress. Mrs. Hammond does do a nice job of listing the Church’s teachings on modesty but it is mingled with and even includes the perspectives of the Society of Saint Pius X.

For those interested, here is an online survey on male courtesy and female clothing survey.perseus.com/3167647c.htm
 
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KayMS:
You obviously have never noted decollete in fashion if you think all women prior to 100 years ago were covered from neck to ankle!
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I did not say “all” women, I said modesty was the “norm” vs. today when immodesty is the norm.
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KayMS:
I beg to differ with your assessment of Dressing with Dignity. It does not have the “whole” story. Read James Laver’s Modesty in Dress if you want the “whole” story of clothing and coverage; though not a Catholic, he is a fashion expert.
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I will try to read the book you suggest, but in studying information on modesty I am prone to give more credibility to someone who is speaking from a moral framework than to one whose expertise is in the area of fashion. Although “Dressing with Dignity” may not give the “whole” story, I believe that it does make three critical points-- 1) Women have been misled by fashion, Hollywood, etc. into believing that in order to be popular and in order to find lasting happiness with a man she needs to dress fashionably i.e. immodestly. 2) Most women do not realize what constitutes immodesty because they do not understand what men are really thinking and feeling when they see women wearing today’s immodest fashions. 3) Women can dress modestly and reclaim their dignity, their feminism and their mystery without looking like a sack of potatoes.
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KayMS:
Also, that survey mentioned in Dressing with Dignity provides merely a few comments about women’s pants based on an unnamed marketing study, not results on immodest dress.
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Based upon the survey’s results, the men’s reactions to women in pants, point to pants being includable in the immodest dress category.
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KayMS:
Mrs. Hammond does do a nice job of listing the Church’s teachings on modesty but it is mingled with and even includes the perspectives of the Society of Saint Pius X.
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I am unfamiliar with the which perspectives of the Society of Saint Pius X are included in this book. Could you please provide some specific examples?
 
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KayMS:
For those interested, here is an online survey on male courtesy and female clothing survey.perseus.com/3167647c.htm
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Took the survey. One thing greatly interested me: it asked what kind of bathing suit you wear. One of the choices was Islamic bathing suit.
http://www.jelbab.com/images/products/400409_3.jpg
(The model is a dummy because it would be immodest for a real woman to pose for this picture, fyi.)(Another fyi, the store selling the above suit warns potential buyers that they don’t “claim any Fatwa for using this suit; please use your own judgment” which means a religious edict has not been issued that this suit meets the needs of modesty, so a Moslem might be considered immodest in even this.)

And an article on the subject says in part:

Then the mothers and teenage girls wearing colorful hijabs, head scarves worn by some observant Muslim females, start flooding into the Columbia Gym in Clarksville. They change into one-piece bathing suits and shorts, making sure to cover from their “navels to their knees,” as Islamic modesty traditions and rules outline.

*And then they are ready: They hit the water. Diving, playing water games, the whole thing, all in what Hassan calls “swimming in an Islamic atmosphere.” *

…

*It’s another example of how the country’s Muslims, like Jews and Catholics before them, are enjoying American culture within the parameters of their faith. *

“Having faith does not mean we can’t have fun,” said Aly Abuzaakouk, executive director of the Washington-based American Muslim Council. “And having faith does not mean that we have to conform to the larger culture, either.”

And people say I’m modest…
 
My rule of thumb…
What would Grace Kelly wear?
What would Audrey Hepburn wear?
The classier the better. You can even wear form fitting clothes if properly tailored.
 
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