What do women want?

[cviolette]

Wrong !!! nothing turns me off more than a man who owns his onw business. But then again, I am a woman not a chick

As much as I know you can not paint everyone with the same brush, these are my immediate thoughs when I find out a man owns his business

1-) The reason most men want to go into business for themsleves is because they do NOT want to take orders from a boss. I will never be silly enough to believe such a man could co-operate with a woman

2-) The more years a man has invested in his business, the more he is attached to it. In hard times, he will do ANYTHING to save his business which equates to time away from the family. And if it does go bankrupt he looses everything even the family home.

3-) All business people learn to develop a charisma to attract customers. He might be a good actor and just nice on the outside

I am not saying they are al like that. I am just so scared he would be I would never date him
CM

I am married to someone who started his own business. I would much rather be married to someone who has a regular job. It is extremely stressful and he will do anything to save his baby at the expense of his family. First love is his company.

 

[chevalier]

Wrong !!! nothing turns me off more than a man who owns his onw business. But then again, I am a woman not a chick

I was being facetious but I think you know.

1-) The reason most men want to go into business for themsleves is because they do NOT want to take orders from a boss.

I will never be silly enough to believe such a man could co-operate with a woman

As long as the woman doesn’t think she’s the boss… (And I’m joking but the point would be valid if I made it seriously.)

2-) The more years a man has invested in his business, the more he is attached to it. In hard times, he will do ANYTHING to save his business which equates to time away from the family. And if it does go bankrupt he looses everything even the family home.

At some point down the road, one’s got to put up a corporation, I guess. And there are ways to protect the spouse.

3-) All business people learn to develop a charisma to attract customers. He might be a good actor and just nice on the outside

Oh now you’ve got me figured out! But I’ll tell you a secret: I acquired most of mine before I started.

 

[faithfully]

Personally, I like EasterJoy’s answer the best…

I’ll elaborate… As a happily married woman. I have a DH who easily goes to work at 6am, and often doesn’t get off until 11pm. However, on his days off, he’s a DADDY 100%, and a husband too!. He fathers our children, in a way, I think appropriate. Our children know they are loved. They show compassion… They are only 6. I’m told I have very sweet, respectful boys. (full of energy non the less… who drive me nearly batty…LOL!) But I must say, I’m a bit proud, that not only the Nun’s in Sunday school love them, so do the teachers in public school…

I do have a housekeeper, and a landscaper. I can’t do it ALL… but I do a ton. I also work from home, so I earn $$, what I turn over hourly would suprise many… I’m SUPER organized. My children see me working in the home non stop. Cleaning, cooking, homework, gardening, and yes, even the occasional relaxing. They see daddy working outside the home (with his schedule and proximity to home, we can visit him at work when he can take a break!), and also at home… and he also makes time for them. I can’t tell you how many people comment on his “daddy skills”… I have been blessed, make that WE have been blessed. And I can tell you, there is not another man I would be interested in. He’s the WHOLE package. We have a similar since of humor. We can finish sentences over shared jokes… an image will often strike the similar response. (granted he likes war movies and I don’t… LOL)… we balance each other out quite well…

In the end, it doesn’t matter what WomEn (plural) want, it only matters what one special womAn wants… I agree with the idea that you learn to be the best person you can be… you will attract the woman that fits you… I’ll pray that it’s a healthy situation…

 

[jmcrae]

In terms of the man’s career. On the one hand, a lot of women want their man to be ambitious and a good provider for the future family. On the other hand, women want their man to be a family man and be a good husband and father. Many Catholic women want to stay at home when they have kids, making it a one-income family.

I would say that in general, women want to feel safe and loved.

She may not articulate it very well, but her big question is, “If I get pregnant, will I be homeless and living on the street with this guy, or will he be able to provide for us, financially, when I am too big in the tummy to be able to work outside the home?” And, “Will he show up for meals, and make intelligent dinner table conversation, and teach the kids to use a fork and knife?”

In particular, of course, the woman you date will have her own needs and wants, and hopefully you will be able to communicate with her and find out from her what she likes and doesn’t like, and what she hopes for in her life.

 

[faithfully]

PS… I grew up in a self employed household. I have no problem with a guy that works his own biz. Not a turn off at all! As a former HR director, I’ll say, most companies NEVER pay the value of their good employees. Even worse, I see subprime employees kept around at salaries way above their skill and work ethic. There is truly NO WONDER our economy is in the state it is in! I’d only be married to a guy worth his weight in gold. It’s quite upsetting to see him not get paid what he’s worth… If possible, he’d have his own gig… I’d support that 110%

As it stands, I refuse to work for others anymore. I’d never make the $$ I make now, on my own schedule… being able to attend to my family as I need to…

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I am married to someone who started his own business. I would much rather be married to someone who has a regular job. It is extremely stressful and he will do anything to save his baby at the expense of his family. First love is his company.

Yep, same here, my husband has been steadily working toward being his own boss and has finally achieved it. He’s happy about not having to be under anyone else’s authority but there is now no end to the workday or the work week - no one to lock the doors, turn off the lights and tell him to go home to his family. He will never be locked out at weekends either, as he was at the last company he worked for.

But there is no changing someone like this. Cmscms is right to draw her own line in the sand. If my husband had to work for someone else, he would be unhappy and would be starting businesses in his “spare” time anyway. He will never choose just to relax and be with the family, he always has to be doing something productive as he calls it.

I wish there was balance in his life, and by extension, ours.

 

[Marie5890]

There are as many answers as there are women. It doesn’t matter what women want.

It matters what the woman who is right for you wants. And, the woman who is right for you will have the same views and ideas about work and family life that you do.

Amen.

 

[cviolette]

Yep, same here, my husband has been steadily working toward being his own boss and has finally achieved it. He’s happy about not having to be under anyone else’s authority but there is now no end to the workday or the work week - no one to lock the doors, turn off the lights and tell him to go home to his family. He will never be locked out at weekends either, as he was at the last company he worked for.

But there is no changing someone like this. Cmscms is right to draw her own line in the sand. If my husband had to work for someone else, he would be unhappy and would be starting businesses in his “spare” time anyway. He will never choose just to relax and be with the family, he always has to be doing something productive as he calls it.

I wish there was balance in his life, and by extension, ours.

Our husbands do sound alike. My husband is not working right now because he is in the middle of a lawsuit and they are also working on a new contract for him. Until everything is finalized he is at home. But he is still working all the time and helps with nothing around the house. He is working on one of the rental properties and is working on a new invention and starting a new company. There are a ton of projects that need to be done around the house and some financial paperwork I need completed but he won’t make time for them because it is for the kids and me so who cares.

Balance would be nice.

 

[chevalier]

PS… I grew up in a self employed household. I have no problem with a guy that works his own biz. Not a turn off at all! As a former HR director, I’ll say, most companies NEVER pay the value of their good employees. Even worse, I see subprime employees kept around at salaries way above their skill and work ethic. There is truly NO WONDER our economy is in the state it is in! I’d only be married to a guy worth his weight in gold. It’s quite upsetting to see him not get paid what he’s worth… If possible, he’d have his own gig… I’d support that 110%

To be honest, I had an attitude, I certainly was one cocky young lawyer. I didn’t like many aspects of the corporate law firm culture, including using first names and being blunt). I wanted no more of having five or so bosses acting (i.e. pushing work down the ladder) without coordination and often barely older than me (if at all) and not always having a clue as to what was going on. That, and office politics that I won’t get into. Plus, after my last goodbye with a law firm, I was a law grad with an A on his diploma from the country’s top law school and a nice overall resume (including languages, experience in recognisable law firms etc.) that for some reason nobody in the big shot firms wished even to reply to, let alone hire (notwithstanding that weaker credentials were getting people jobs and for more than I had been earning, which was a double-digit fraction of what I billed). Not like I was thrilled by the prospect of working for minimum wage if and when some law firm decided on buying another slave and waiting idly until then (or clerking somewhere for free). And I didn’t want to be putting in many hour weeks of mostly silly corporate work (with neverending tables, frantic e-mail ping-pong and trips back and forth to the archives), if not blatant gophering that any first year student should be able to do, while my SJD paper was being neglected for want of time. Ladies can make of this what they will (and I surely understand, after all, everybody has his preference and his fears, and I certainly have mine as well, including in the job/business area—this is everybody’s right ).

 

[mts3b]

 

[mts3b]

To be honest, I had an attitude, I certainly was one cocky young lawyer. I didn’t like many aspects of the corporate law firm culture, including using first names and being blunt). I wanted no more of having five or so bosses acting (i.e. pushing work down the ladder) without coordination and often barely older than me (if at all) and not always having a clue as to what was going on. That, and office politics that I won’t get into. Plus, after my last goodbye with a law firm, I was a law grad with an A on his diploma from the country’s top law school and a nice overall resume (including languages, experience in recognisable law firms etc.) that for some reason nobody in the big shot firms wished even to reply to, let alone hire (notwithstanding that weaker credentials were getting people jobs and for more than I had been earning, which was a double-digit fraction of what I billed). Not like I was thrilled by the prospect of working for minimum wage if and when some law firm decided on buying another slave and waiting idly until then (or clerking somewhere for free). And I didn’t want to be putting in many hour weeks of mostly silly corporate work (with neverending tables, frantic e-mail ping-pong and trips back and forth to the archives), if not blatant gophering that any first year student should be able to do, while my SJD paper was being neglected for want of time. Ladies can make of this what they will (and I surely understand, after all, everybody has his preference and his fears, and I certainly have mine as well, including in the job/business area—this is everybody’s right ).

“Nuff said…”

 

[mts3b]

I don’t know about “women,” but I can tell you what I would be advising my daughters if I had any.

What you “want,” is less important than what you NEED, which is a man who will help you get to Heaven. You NEED a man who is looking more at Christ than at you, even though your vanity will be somewhat insulted about that. You should try to be the woman that such a man will see as a possible partner. Be sure he has work, but that he is not married to his work, because if he is, you will forever be the mistress, not the wife. He can love his work, and enjoy his work, and get a lot of satisfaction from his work, and not be WEDDED to his work or be addicted to it. See where God falls in his life, if God is below his work, he’s not the man for you.

Does he give God the glory for his talents that are expressed through his work? Or is it all about him and his efforts? Some men try to take all the credit for their success, when really it is God’s path they follow or God’s help they have enjoyed. Of course he can be proud of himself for his work, but he should also be humble.

Be very careful if a man is too concerned with acquiring lots of money. He is in danger of making money into his God. Both very wealthy people and very poor people can be guilty of this same sin. With wealth comes great temptations.

Always look at his inner character. What does he choose to do when no one is looking? That is a good indicator for what sort of man he really is. Does he honor God when it profits him nothing?

“nuff said…”

 

[ShanaA1984]

It varies by the women therefore subjective. Other than that me thinks you ask a loaded question.

 

[Kaninchen]

What most married women probably could do with is a wife (somebody to do all the boring stuff while we get on with what matters, whatever that might be).

 

[Luvz2travel]

Respect, romance, a gentleman, a guy who isn’t a afraid to take a chance, honestly…

 

[Jay82]

PS… I grew up in a self employed household. I have no problem with a guy that works his own biz. Not a turn off at all! As a former HR director, I’ll say, most companies NEVER pay the value of their good employees. Even worse, I see subprime employees kept around at salaries way above their skill and work ethic. There is truly NO WONDER our economy is in the state it is in! I’d only be married to a guy worth his weight in gold. It’s quite upsetting to see him not get paid what he’s worth… If possible, he’d have his own gig… I’d support that 110%

As it stands, I refuse to work for others anymore. I’d never make the $$ I make now, on my own schedule… being able to attend to my family as I need to…

I agree. Sometimes its better to run things on your own (if you can do it well and long term), than to get caught up in an underachieving corporate world and never reach your potential. Many people sit unhappily in their jobs feeling lucky to be employed or annoyed with co-workers/bosses/etc. The people who run their own business generally take initiative and get things done. They won’t put up with under performers. They view it as the company is lucky to have them rather than they are lucky to have a job. They won’t be happy getting stuck in some mid level position for the rest of their life and if they aren’t happy, then their ability to be a good husband will also suffer and so on.

Yep, same here, my husband has been steadily working toward being his own boss and has finally achieved it. He’s happy about not having to be under anyone else’s authority but there is now no end to the workday or the work week - no one to lock the doors, turn off the lights and tell him to go home to his family. He will never be locked out at weekends either, as he was at the last company he worked for.

But there is no changing someone like this. Cmscms is right to draw her own line in the sand. If my husband had to work for someone else, he would be unhappy and would be starting businesses in his “spare” time anyway. He will never choose just to relax and be with the family, he always has to be doing something productive as he calls it.

I wish there was balance in his life, and by extension, ours.

Your husband sounds very much like me. But I make an effort to spend time with friends/family regularly cause I know it is important and without them, everything else is for nothing. They are my top priority.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

Well, I can speak for myself and what I want but my guess is that other women will agree.

Women want a man who is honest. We want someone who works hard and is capable of supporting a family but is not obsessed with his work. We want a man who will always put family first and be a good father. We want a man who will respect us and love us and help us be the best wife and mother we can be. We also want a man who will always follow God and be a good example to his children in how to be a good Christian.

Simple, right?

 

[EasterJoy]

Women want a man who is honest…Simple, right?

Not when his wife asks him if a particular outfit makes her look fat, no.
Not when she asks exactly why her husband is not fond of her mother…

I could go on, but most people do not want nearly as much honesty as they say they want.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

Not when his wife asks him if a particular outfit makes her look fat, no.
Not when she asks exactly why her husband is not fond of her mother…

I could go on, but most people do not want nearly as much honesty as they say they want.

Honest in terms of fidelity, his dedication to the family, treating other people in a fair way, that kind of thing. You know, the important stuff.

 

[Luvz2travel]

Not when his wife asks him if a particular outfit makes her look fat, no.
Not when she asks exactly why her husband is not fond of her mother…

I could go on, but most people do not want nearly as much honesty as they say they want.

Well we also want a man with common sense who knows when a little white lie is ok :thumbsup: