What do you do when a stranger grabs your hand during Our Father prayer?

[cradlecatholic5]

Besides, we have a LOT of senior citizens with family far away or uninterested and spouses who have passed on. They are lonely and need human contact. If me being slightly uncomfortable for a few minutes makes a Christian brother or sister feel the love of God and man I guess I can suck it up and be grateful to be given the opportunity to help.

:clapping:

Thank you for posting this comment. Yes, this is true and totally agree.

When this happens to me, I am thankful.

 

[Oneofthewomen]

Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t know it’s for the priest only. In our parish many, if not all, do it and the priest didn’t say we could not.

There are no rubrics for how the faithful hold their hands during the Our Father.
Do what makes you comfortable and forget what anyone else has to say about it.

I will agree with Monicad, that you might be sending “mixed” signals, but do no think what you are doing is “wrong”.

 

[Bookcat]

That usually works, though I have had someone grab my hand even then.

.

Holding a small dagger of medieval nature is helpful …

*oh maybe not consistent with the sign of peace…

 

[TimothyH]

The proper position for your hands in prayer during the Our Father is hands clasped together in prayer, not extended in the Orans position. Folding your hands together and bowing your head should eliminate people holding your hands.

Putting your hands out is an invitation for someone to hold it, they are not being rude to do so.

Why do you have an issue with someone holding your hand?

No, this is not correct. There is no “proper position” for the hand for the Lord’s Prayer.

Dominican Sisters are forbidden from praying this way and will humbly fold their hands at their waist or keep them under the front of their habit out of sight. They cannot be doing it improperly.

-Tim-

 

[John_Lazarus]

Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t know it’s for the priest only. In our parish many, if not all, do it and the priest didn’t say we could not.

Say, “just a second,” pull your hand back, cover a sneeze, then hold your hand out again with an apologetic smile.

Just kidding.

 

[Joe_5859]

Ask and you shall receive:

canonlaw.info/liturgysacraments_orans.htm

That is some very interesting history with which I was not previously familiar. Thanks for sharing! I never realized that before, but that is true that the Our Father is the only prayer the priest prays together with the people and uses the orans position. This perfectly explains how that happened.

 

[Corki]

At mass one Sunday, a lady beside me looked uneasy that I was putting my hands out without holding hers. I pretended not to notice her uneasiness as we’ve already started praying. A little after we started, she grabbed my hand. I felt very, very unhappy. I don’t want a stranger having physical contact with my palm. I do think she was being rude grabbing my hand off right like that. At another mass of the same time, my husband and I sat with her on the same pew again and I made my husband sit beside her instead. She did the same thing to him. How do we tell people like that firmly yet politely that we don’t have to hold hands at mass?

If you are going to stick your hands out, don’t be surprised if someone takes your hand.

There is no instruction to hold hands during the Our Father. Nor is there an instruction to take up the orans posture. Neither is a more legitimate thing to do during Mass for the laity.

You can certainly tell her that you personally don’t want to hold hands at Mass but you can’t really take the position that “we don’t have to hold hands” if you are doing another un-called for gesture/posture.

 

[pianistclare]

Orans at Mass was something intended for the Priest not for others (praying with hands out streched). Even the Deacon is directed to fold his hands during the Lords Prayer (at Mass).

So I would simply not be praying orante at Mass. Rather fold your hands. Then on one will be able to grab your hands.

Orans is a very ancient way of prayer - one of the early Christians - but it has developed that in Liturgy it is done by the Priest. So I suggest praying in Orans at home but not at Mass. That will solve the problem.

This^^^. Yes. People believe that they should do all the same gestures as the priest. Not so. Some things are for the presider only.
However, I have been in Mass where I had my head bowed, hands folded, and the person behind me kept banging me on the back, and literally pried my hands apart

• “so we could hold hands like you’re supposed to!” *:banghead:
  No. Leave me to peace in peace. Thank you.

But to answer the OP’s question: I smile gently, and don’t fuss. Clearly people don’t know any better. And it does no good to approach the Eucharist hating the person for hounding me. I try really hard to let it go, but it IS very frustrating and intrusive. I dislike it very much.

 

[fencersmother]

Still in the LDS pose at mass for prayer: arms crossed in front of my body. Most people think this extremely unfriendly - but no one tries to grab my outstretched hand (which would possibly cause me to have a panic attack!).

Simple solution: fold your hands in prayer “hands to heaven”, and receive Our Lord on your tongue.

Easy peasy.

 

[Jeanne_S]

I visit the washroom before Mass, to wash my hands in preparation for receiving Our Lord. I do not wish to hold hands with people who have come to church with unwashed hands, blown their noses and handled their hankies, scratched their heads, dealt with their kids, and are generally germy.

If I then receive the Host into my hands AFTER the sign of peace, and transfer it to my mouth, I am ingesting who knows what along with it.

Keep a small container of hand sanitizer in your purse/pocket.I sanitize before receiving the Eucharist,problem solved!

 

[SuperLuigi]

I visit the washroom before Mass, to wash my hands in preparation for receiving Our Lord. I do not wish to hold hands with people who have come to church with unwashed hands, blown their noses and handled their hankies, scratched their heads, dealt with their kids, and are generally germy.

If I then receive the Host into my hands AFTER the sign of peace, and transfer it to my mouth, I am ingesting who knows what along with it.

Just another reason to take Communion on the tongue, which I think everyone should be doing if they can anyways.

But yes, a lot of people don’t wash their wash and are picking up kids’ crackers on the floor (really how often is that cleaned), blowing their nose, sneezing and who knows what else DURING the mass.

The other issue that comes up is shaking hands during the sign of peace. I try to avoid this as much as possible, too, and we make it a point to wash our hands IMMEDIATELY after mass because I’m sorry to say that many of our fellow Catholics CANNOT be trusted to mind their manners and hygiene. :nope: I guess I’ve just seen too many people leave the restroom or whatever without even noticing the sink as well as the observations I’ve already stated.

What’s really funny is that some people will NEVER figure out that if you don’t want to shake their hand, why, it’s always PERSONAL. :tsktsk: Just another example of how some folks check their brain at the door when it comes to Church matters.

It couldn’t possibly be because the person is SICK and doesn’t want to get YOU sick!

Also, don’t buy into the other posts on here that make holdings with someone or shaking hands like some big, great noble sacrifice.

 

[Bookcat]

catholic.com/quickquestions/should-we-refrain-from-holding-hands-during-the-our-father

 

[SuperLuigi]

It seems as if you have come up with a form of prayer all your own that you expect others to honor, that’s not a bad thing really but please understand why others may be confused. It’s not it’s not folded hands, it’s not hand-holding but putting your hands in the air in the orans position which is really only for the priest but that’s another topic.

How about if people stop worrying about what others do and how they supposedly feel and focus on the Mass----like they are supposed to be doing in the first place.

:tiphat:

 

[pianistclare]

How about if people stop worrying about what others do and how they supposedly feel and focus on the Mass----like they are supposed to be doing in the first place.

:tiphat:

*But yes, a lot of people don’t wash their wash and are picking up kids’ crackers on the floor (really how often is that cleaned), blowing their nose, sneezing and who knows what else DURING the mass. *



Still paying attention?

 

[tawny]

Orans at Mass was something intended for the Priest not for others (praying with hands out streched). Even the Deacon is directed to fold his hands during the Lords Prayer (at Mass).

So I would simply not be praying orante at Mass. Rather fold your hands. Then on one will be able to grab your hands.

Orans is a very ancient way of prayer - one of the early Christians - but it has developed that in Liturgy it is done by the Priest. So I suggest praying in Orans at home but not at Mass. That will solve the problem.

This is correct. The Orans position is intended only for the Priest during the Our Father. And yes, even the Deacon is to fold his hands in prayer during the Our Father.

 

[SuperLuigi]

*But yes, a lot of people don’t wash their wash and are picking up kids’ crackers on the floor (really how often is that cleaned), blowing their nose, sneezing and who knows what else DURING the mass. *



Still paying attention?

While these events can occur in front of someone in a matter of a few seconds and may be noticed if I am sitting in the back, I was speaking hypothetically.

:tiphat:

 

[ProVobis]

There are many ways in order to show you’re not into hand-holding. Hold a handkerchief in your hands, blow your nose, hold a missalette, try to sit away from others, don’t stand up so fast before the prayer, and on and on. I would think the last thing you’d want to do is to keep your hands free and close to a stranger.

 

[Joe_5859]

Also, don’t buy into the other posts on here that make holdings with someone or shaking hands like some big, great noble sacrifice.

We aren’t always called to do big things, just small things with great love.

I understand the aversion to the hand holding / hand shaking. The first thing I do when I get in my car is put on hand sanitizer and the first thing I do when I come home is wash my hands. And that’s the case all the time, not just with going to Mass.

But I don’t think we should look down on the idea of sucking it up every once in a while and suffering through minor inconveniences with a smile for the sake of our neighbor. I bet more grace is obtained through such small sacrifices than we might think. If we cannot suffer through a minor inconvenience with love, then how will we be prepared to offer greater sacrifices?

 

[babochka]

*But yes, a lot of people don’t wash their wash and are picking up kids’ crackers on the floor (really how often is that cleaned), blowing their nose, sneezing and who knows what else DURING the mass. *



Still paying attention?

Consider it an opportunity to build up your immune system by exposure to germs? Or maybe discretely use hand sanitizer after holding hands.

In answer to the original question, I’m also of the opinion that the orans posture is an invitation to hold hands, so I would just keep my hands discretely folded if I wished to avoid holding hands. I don’t frequent parishes where holding hands is common, but when I find myself in the position where somebody just grabs my hand, I “grin and bear it” for the sake of Christian charity. I don’t mind physical contact with strangers; I’m happy to shake hands with the 4 or 5 people closest to me during the sign of peace, I just don’t like hand-holding during the Our Father. If I felt uncomfortable with the physical contact itself, or was afraid of the germs which permeate our world, or was just grossed-out by the thought, I think that I would tend to avoid those who are known to be hand-grabbers, and of course, pray with my hands folded in front of me. If they proved to be unavoidable (such as a parish full of such people), I would probably try to sit (or stand) in the back.

 

[pianistclare]

Consider it an opportunity to build up your immune system by exposure to germs? Or maybe discretely use hand sanitizer after holding hands.

In answer to the original question, I’m also of the opinion that the orans posture is an invitation to hold hands, so I would just keep my hands discretely folded if I wished to avoid holding hands. I don’t frequent parishes where holding hands is common, but when I find myself in the position where somebody just grabs my hand, I “grin and bear it” for the sake of Christian charity. I don’t mind physical contact with strangers; I’m happy to shake hands with the 4 or 5 people closest to me during the sign of peace, I just don’t like hand-holding during the Our Father. If I felt uncomfortable with the physical contact itself, or was afraid of the germs which permeate our world, or was just grossed-out by the thought, I think that I would tend to avoid those who are known to be hand-grabbers, and of course, pray with my hands folded in front of me. If they proved to be unavoidable (such as a parish full of such people), I would probably try to sit (or stand) in the back.

It was a question directed at the person who said we should’t watch others…never mind