What does it mean to be a man?

[babesinarms]

To have a loving father to raise you to be one or strong male mentors both now or in the past or better still, both!

 

[dakotagirl]

To be like Jesus, doll.

 

[Galnextdoor]

A man is simply (3 p’s)
Protector
Provider
Penetrater (as in aggressor).

He like Jesus is the sacrificial one. The more he gives himself in this way the more he is fulfilled.

One of the key attributes of man is his strength, not only in body but in character. You could say a rock. This prepares him for being the leader of the family.

Don’t let this “headship” get to our heads. A man may lead the family but it is the woman who tells him where to go. All men essentially need a female guide. For priests it is the church and for a married man it is his wife. Women have the attributes to see where help is needed and directs us to the problem.

God Bless,
John

I think that your idea of being a male is oversimplified. Does a man not qualify as a male if he is physically disabled? I think it’s character that defines a man. Not his ability to protect, provide etc.

 

[Gaius]

A man is simply (3 p’s)
Protector
Provider
Penetrater (as in aggressor).

He like Jesus is the sacrificial one. The more he gives himself in this way the more he is fulfilled.

One of the key attributes of man is his strength, not only in body but in character. You could say a rock. This prepares him for being the leader of the family.

Don’t let this “headship” get to our heads. A man may lead the family but it is the woman who tells him where to go. All men essentially need a female guide. For priests it is the church and for a married man it is his wife. Women have the attributes to see where help is needed and directs us to the problem.

God Bless,
John

Actually, from what I understand the priests shepard and lead the flock, not the other way around. Men lead the way.

Also, are you inferring that women are supposed to be weak if men are supposed to be strong? Would you like to have weak daughters or strong daughters?

What I mean by penetrator, is man’s ability to go beyond the status quo, much like Jesus. For instance we can look at history and find that men, have lead the way in discoveries in science and exploration. It is our natural tendencies to push the boundaries.

You know that the reason women have not made significant gains in scientific fields was prior to the 1960s, most societies were patriarchal and therefore looked down or even prevented women in participating in any job/higher education. Lack of opportunity was the reason-not this male tendency to push the limits.

John
Basilisk,
I’m not saying woman are not smart, but natural speaking, and numbers speaking men do push the envelope.

Heck if you look specifically into traits I would put women smarter than men. But men are brighter when it comes to figuring things out. I would put men as more goal oriented as complimentary to women being better at multi-tasking. It suits men to taking on hard jobs and women having a broader view of things like family.

Theology of the body clearly states that the sexes are equal and complimentary in their roles. But what people tend to miss is that each are better at certain things than the other thus “in their roles”.

Also - Women have better memories but men are better learners.
John

What!?? Where are you getting your information? As a scientist, I have never heard this before-“Women have better memories but men are better learners”. In fact, I have heard quite the oppostite with the learning capabilities- I have read one study which found that in online learning, women did far better than men.

In memory, you can’t just generalize. Studies have found men have better linear memories while women have an easier time remembering elaborate and complex situations.

Explains why women give such bad directions.

I highly dispute this statement

-"But what people tend to miss is that each are better at certain things than the other thus “in their roles”.

Like what roles? Cleaning? Cooking? Caring for children? Managing money? Name an ability, and I am sure to find a real life counterexample to the stereotype.

What I do know is that along with our gender our upbringing and personalities largely affect who we are. People of a gender may exhibit general leanings towards certain characteristics, but that does not mean they are predestined to be better at that trait.

Our philosophical roles and duties in marriage are different what the definition of masculinity and femininity. Our defining of these terms can ignore to some extent marriage. Not every Catholic male or female marry.

I think that the simplest way to identify a good example of masculinity and femininity is look at the virtues. If they are strong in the virtues, they certainly will be good men and women.

All good men I know are strong in faith, hope, love, fortitude, justice, temperance, prudence, etc. Using these a man can be a protector, provider, or whatever God has planned for him.

 

[John_AH]

I know it is a over simplification. The reason being it is oversimplified is because we all need a point to strive to. For instance. We all want to not hand down some of our bad characteristics so we try to improve ourselves so our children grow up without those problems. We need to discover who we are supposed to be, thus Theology of the Body.

As for protector and provider being unable to do those things there are two modes of thought. The first is any man disabled or not should not be getting married if he unable to do these things. If he is afraid or unwilling to work he has no business in marrying. The disabled have there own cross to bare.

As for priests, their woman is the church. They respond to her desires not of theirs. They see the body and react to their flock as they have been taught to. Jesus is their teacher.

The true model of femininity is Mary. At Cana was is not her who told Jesus of the problem?

Many can see the old ways as bad, my personal opinion is women knew their place back then and it was not in men’s shoes.

Not that women should not work but their place is with the upbringing of children. Again my observations, most devoted women I know are teachers. It apart of them to want to be around children and teach them.

As for strength. There is strength in knowing who you are and proving you are something else is being afraid of who you are. There is no fear in Love. Of course we should all have strength in character, faith, and love. But the more correct word would be discipline.

Theology of the Body states a woman’s body is soft because she is the nurturer. From her very own body she can feed her young. Hold them close so they know they are loved. Like Mary a woman should be gentle, “soft”, and nurturing. A child should always have a place to go for that “softness”. Too much softness is bad thus a “hard” father is needed so that maturing is instilled. A child would get confused if he or she had two “soft” or “hard” parents. Thus the problems we see in our society.

God gave us Life and in this Life he gave us our sex. Only in the embracement of that gift do we truly find ourselves. As we all know we are made to Love, it the greatest gift of God! Born as a sex we are meant to fulfill this Love by embracing our sexual/loving traits. Male essentially is the “primary” giver and female the primary receiver. In this they are complimentary.

This society is so lost. I pray for feminist because they are so bitter, because they can’t find love. They hold on to a lie because they don’t want to suffer the pain that they have missed out on Love and did not realize it till it was to late (from having children of their own).

The ultimate expression of of masculinity is fatherhood and the ultimate expression of femininity is motherhood. In those “hoods” we are called to sacrifice the most of ourselves for the sake of Love!

Feminist next question is usually “where are the real men”. My answer to them is “you have not enabled them to be real men”. (Again from men need to be shown where to go). Not that men are not to be blamed, there are tons of things through out history we have done to cause what we have now.

The devil is very deceptive, he does not go “here” a obvious sin. No! He goes and twist just a little bit here and a little bit there. Before long he has everyone believing it is status quo and nothing is wrong. If we listen to our hearts they will tell us something is wrong. Theology of the Body is about rediscovering who we really are with the one thing the devil cant twist, our bodies.

For me when it comes down to it at the end; for me to read, study, test, and observe into this is so our future generations will discover who they really are and find the joy and happiness that God intended them to have. The truth will set you free!

I know I may have made errors and thus your (name removed by moderator)uts are very much welcome but there is allot of truth to what I say if we are willing to be true to ourselves.

In truth, there is truth in everything if we are willing to see it and willing to suffer the pain of having our eyes opened and see that we have been betrayed.

God Bless,
John

 

[sanctamaria17]

At this point, I don’t know. I believe everyone is called to be like Christ and I would have to say, look at Bama’s posts.

However, for the numbers/science/goal oriented stuff, I’m very good at numbers (but that comes with me having to pay for school expenses, groceries, and having a lot of research based school requirements), I’m very goal oriented, and I’m very good at science. I’ve also always been a good leader and I get fiercely protective over those I care about (combined with my stubbornness and fiery personality, I have intimidated people, despite my small stature). As for “provider”, well, I’ve been becoming my own provider lately (again, having to take over more of my school expenses and feeding myself has done that). Also, in countries where it isn’t pushed as much that boys do better in math and science, girls do just as well. Same in all-girls’ schools (which, if we could have afforded it, my mother would have sent me and my sister).

I would agree that men have to love their brides like Christ loved the Church and men should defend and respect women and treat them like they are queens. However, I would hope to not be treated like someone who needs to be taken care of, who isn’t as smart or as decisive about her life, or someone who needs to be rescued. Because frankly, I’ve always been independent and I’m becoming more so. A true man would respect that about a woman and not let it degrade his sense of masculinity.

And there are men who are wonderful at nurturing and taking care of children. Litcrit’s husband is like that, while she works to support the family. And they are very devout Christians. Men who do that are not less masculine. Neither are powerful women less feminine. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have saints like St. Joan, St. John Bosco, St. Gianna Molla (a doctor), etc.

And while I do take the title of feminist, that does NOT mean we hate men or are rabid about abortion. We all have wackos in our groups and this is one example. I do not hate men, I want them to live to the best of their potential, I’m glad that I have guy friends who do open doors, escort me home at night and are not afraid to defend me and our female friends. At the same time, I resent being treated as “less than a woman” because I have qualities that society has denoted as masculine.

 

[Lifeisamazing]

What I mean by penetrator, is man’s ability to go beyond the status quo, much like Jesus. For instance we can look at history and find that men, have lead the way in discoveries in science and exploration. It is our natural tendencies to push the boundaries.

John

I understand what you mean by “penetrator”, mostly because I recently heard some excerpts from a sermon on CD based on Pope John Paul’s Theology of the Body and this point is exploredm quite beautifully.

We should embrace and encourage our differences, as another poster said. Why do I believe that? We all are to contribute in different ways and have been given special and unique gifts to do so. Not just in gender, but I also believe this in race and other areas of our being.

I think that men and women got so wrapped up in trying to prove they could do everything the other could do and even have an “everything you can do, I can do better” kind of attitude. How stressful and what a waste. Wives should submit in certain areas to help their husbands flourish and vice versa. That is not weakness- that is symbiosis. It is acceptance of one’s self and also of others.

To answer the OP, What is it to be a man?

I feel a real man is gentle even though his strength abounds.

He is a protector of his loved ones, as said, not just from bodily harm, but a protector of spirit, emotion, intellect.

A provider.

A real man can truly listen to the inner spirit at work and not behave like he is entitled and superior.

A real man recognizes that instant gratification, and the superficial things our society pushes are false and unfulfilling. He knows the importance of striving to be above the influence of sources outside of God.

A real man does not objectify other human beings, but recognizes they are children of God.

I want the men in my life to know that the images on TV, in magazines, etc. seem to be demasculinizing men and I don’t buy into it. I love the qualities that make men different. As the bible stresses we are opposite and yet equal! Viva la man!!!

 

[John_AH]

Sanctamaria17,
Everyone has there choice, the circumstances of our lives are unique. Love “works” on a simple premise of giving and receiving.

Like if I give you a complement that you are wearing a nice dress, if you receive that compliment and say thank you. Love is complete. No gifts back. Why? Because men only need to know that the gift is received to feel loved. In the same instance women only need know that she has been given that gift and they feel loved. I tried this little experiment a dozen times or more on male and female. Give a girl a sincere compliment and they light up like a Christmas tree. Give a boy a compliment for no apparent reason, nothing. But have the boy work for something and then tell him that it might be a good idea to give his mom roses and his mom accepts them, he is on cloud nine.

What that means is being “independent” makes it very difficult to love for man or woman. It is saying I don’t need you, when at the most fundamental part of us says yes we do! We are made for communion, not independence. (Why have sexual organs if we are not?) Yes, we can have spiritual spouses like a close connection to Jesus or his church, religious marry those entities, but at no time are they independent.

Pay attention to times of despair and hopelessness, what happened to get yourself there? (Rhetorical) Nearly all that I have spoken to is because they decided to go their own way (touching on Pride, not thinking of Love, or the ones who love them).

BTW. The opposite of Love is indifference (not hate). The blocking of love is contraception. No “gift” can be given.

God Bless,
John

 

[mdgspencer]

!!What about when he told the Pharisees off to their faces? When he was called an evildoer he answered back strongly? John chapters 7 and 8 shows all this clearly.
I agree that other charactersitics are more basic to being a man. But still, like a soldier, a man can be honorable and aggressive too.

I would argue about the Penetrator. Aggression isn’t a positive treat. Our Lord reached out a lot, but He is referred to as the lamb and as meek. That is hardly aggressive.

 

[whatevergirl]

Basilisk,
I’m not saying woman are not smart, but natural speaking, and numbers speaking men do push the envelope.

Heck if you look specifically into traits I would put women smarter than men. But men are brighter when it comes to figuring things out. I would put men as more goal oriented as complimentary to women being better at multi-tasking. It suits men to taking on hard jobs and women having a broader view of things like family.

Theology of the body clearly states that the sexes are equal and complimentary in their roles. But what people tend to miss is that each are better at certain things than the other thus “in their roles”.

Also - Women have better memories but men are better learners.
John

Oh. My. Gosh.

 

[Magickman]

The basis of manhood is just reproductive plumbing and body structiure.

The rest is cultural overlay and cinematic myth.

People are of good or bad character, irrespective of gender. We do ourselves a disservice, if we believe in the meretricious mythology of manhood.

 

[sanctamaria17]

Sanctamaria17,
Like if I give you a complement that you are wearing a nice dress, if you receive that compliment and say thank you. Love is complete. No gifts back. Why? Because men only need to know that the gift is received to feel loved. In the same instance women only need know that she has been given that gift and they feel loved. I tried this little experiment a dozen times or more on male and female. Give a girl a sincere compliment and they light up like a Christmas tree. Give a boy a compliment for no apparent reason, nothing. But have the boy work for something and then tell him that it might be a good idea to give his mom roses and his mom accepts them, he is on cloud nine.

What that means is being “independent” makes it very difficult to love for man or woman. It is saying I don’t need you, when at the most fundamental part of us says yes we do! We are made for communion, not independence. (Why have sexual organs if we are not?) Yes, we can have spiritual spouses like a close connection to Jesus or his church, religious marry those entities, but at no time are they independent.

Pay attention to times of despair and hopelessness, what happened to get yourself there? (Rhetorical) Nearly all that I have spoken to is because they decided to go their own way (touching on Pride, not thinking of Love, or the ones who love them).

BTW. The opposite of Love is indifference (not hate). The blocking of love is contraception. No “gift” can be given.

God Bless,
John

Well, maybe I’m not the despairing, hopeless type. Maybe I like to do things for people as well. I receive gifts gladly, but I also like to give gifts and being told that I don’t “need” to because I’m a woman is a huge slap in the face. And I have (straight masculine) guy friends who also light up at compliments. But I guess I’m just not very feminine, because I feel happy when I work for something and give it to someone else and see their smiles.

What I’m saying is that I ONLY depend on Jesus. I’m sorry, but I can’t rely on people. I can only rely on God and He helps me to see people as He does. He’s the only thing we can rely on. As for the “better learners” comment, hahahahahahahaha. I go to a very good university which is populated by mostly women and we all do extremely well. And NO ONE is soft on us! We all work our tails off in school and when we get our grades, it’s because we deserve them.

I guess St. Joan of Arc wasn’t fulfilling her role as a woman? After all, she wore men’s clothing and went into battle. And St. Gianna Molla? She worked hard in university and became a doctor. Maybe she wasn’t fulfilling her role as a woman? And maybe the Church doesn’t seem to prescribe such superficiality to womanhood if these two remarkable ladies ended up as saints?

 

[whatevergirl]

We’re women…we just couldn’t possibly figure things out as quickly as men, maria. His post is probably soaring above our pretty lil heads.

Don’t sweat it.

 

[sanctamaria17]

Lol . Just goes to show you, if anyone thinks women are weak or not as smart, they obviously haven’t read a lot of posts by the women on these boards. We also have a lot of sass, lol.

 

[chevalier]

Heck if you look specifically into traits I would put women smarter than men. But men are brighter when it comes to figuring things out. I would put men as more goal oriented as complimentary to women being better at multi-tasking. It suits men to taking on hard jobs and women having a broader view of things like family.

Brains are different. They say female ones are more advanced, while ours are bigger and heavier. Figure the difference in practice? Not really… Just don’t know enough about it. From my experience, women would be better at mastering a field, while men would probably be better at pushing the boundaries, as you put it. However, please note that man have been pushed to push the boundaries and women have generally been discouraged from making a name for themselves in such adventurous ways.

As for multi-tasking vs focus, sight range is the best difference. Women can handle more at the same time, we can handle one thing with more focus. Again, that’s more like a hunter thing, not to say women can’t focus on a single intellectual or artistic matter. In a way they are more predisposed towards that since they don’t have the whole thing with competing and they don’t need to flex the proverbial muscle. But let’s not make too much of biological programming.

 

[chevalier]

!!What about when he told the Pharisees off to their faces? When he was called an evildoer he answered back strongly? John chapters 7 and 8 shows all this clearly.
I agree that other charactersitics are more basic to being a man. But still, like a soldier, a man can be honorable and aggressive too.

A soldier shouldn’t be bred like Plato’s guardian. A soldier is much more than resource - and aggression operating a gun is just that, resource. The kind of spirit a soldier needs is one of a protector, which may be one going to great lengths to protect and even taking the fight to the enemy’s yard, but not one of an invader. Rape and pillage is never okay, nor even abuse of prisoners of war. There should be much less aggression in the armed forces of the world than there is. A hot temper is something to learn to control, not something to cherish.

 

[chevalier]

Sanctamaria17,
Everyone has there choice, the circumstances of our lives are unique. Love “works” on a simple premise of giving and receiving.

No, it’s not that simple. Love goes up to giving one’s life for another. Acceptance of a gift is also an act of love, done for the right reasons. But there’s no simple give and take exchange.

Like if I give you a complement that you are wearing a nice dress, if you receive that compliment and say thank you. Love is complete.

No, it is just a compliment. And it would be the same if she said you had a nice tie.

No gifts back. Why? Because men only need to know that the gift is received to feel loved.

Show me a more giving act than giving birth to a child… Still insist men are more giving than women?

In the same instance women only need know that she has been given that gift and they feel loved.

Not really… They need it to be sincere and they will often return it and then it matters to them if it is accepted or not. Obviously, compliments matter more to women than they do to men and they’re a bit outside our ability to empathise, but let’s not overestimate that.

Give a boy a compliment for no apparent reason, nothing.

Perhaps if he’s angsty and thinks compliments are a girl thing. Part of good manners is taking compliments graciously and this refers to men as well, not only women.

BTW. The opposite of Love is indifference (not hate). The blocking of love is contraception. No “gift” can be given.

Nope, sorry. The opposite of indifference is care, i.e. when something makes difference to you, for good or bad. Love is the positive charge, hate is the negative one. Indifference is neutral charge.

 

[whatevergirl]

Lol . Just goes to show you, if anyone thinks women are weak or not as smart, they obviously haven’t read a lot of posts by the women on these boards. We also have a lot of sass, lol.

LOL

Of course I was being silly…but I reaaaaallly don’t like when men or women try to compartmentalize one another’s qualities. God created us wholly unique, men and women from one another. But, labeling women as not as bright, or not being able to figure things out like men, really is a secular mindset.

Not shared by me, as you can see.

 

[thomfra]

What are the attributes of “maleness”?

We are more hairy.

 

[thomfra]

The basis of manhood is just reproductive plumbing and body structiure.

The rest is cultural overlay and cinematic myth.

People are of good or bad character, irrespective of gender. We do ourselves a disservice, if we believe in the meretricious mythology of manhood.

Great post!

But don’t forget the extra hair.