What exactly is "lusting in your heart"

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These are just my thoughts, but I can see what you’re saying. You see some beautiful thing just out in the open, ripe for the taking, and fleetingly you think, That could go home with me. Immediately you say to yourself, yeah right, like you’re going to be a thief now. No, I don’t think that’s a sin. It’s a thought that popped into your head. You got rid of it, recognized it for what it was – just plain stupid and not something you would do.

I might see George Clooney someday – he’s about to start filming in St. Louis – and I might think Va-va-va-voom, but that’s as far as it goes, and not only because I don’t have a chance with him. But he’s gorgeous and I do like to look at him. I also like to look at a beautiful sunset, and the huge flock of geese wandering around the business campus where my office building is. Beauty can be appropriately enjoyed.

But if thoughts of George start to fill my every waking moment, and I’m obsessing over how I could actually connect with him, or what I’d want to do…you know what kind of stuff I mean…that’s a whole different situation.

There’s a difference between a fleeting thought, and really wanting to kill your mother-in-law.

This might sound goofy, but when I was in grade school the nun told us to say, “Get thee behind me, Satan,” when temptation was troubling you. I still do that. If va-va-voom ever went past that, I’d say it today.

The thought that you should look at a beautiful woman with disgust to avoid lusting in your heart is absurd. God created that beauty and I’m not one to loathe what God created.

What about people who aren’t married yet? They should feel some sexual desire when they see the person they’re meant to marry. You can’t think only chaste thoughts until the wedding night. If you don’t find the other person sexually attractive, find someone else to marry. Sexual attraction is on purpose, God planned that so we would continue the human species.

Lust and attraction are not the same emotion. Lust is self-centered, for personal gratification. It could be directed at your spouse, and that’s wrong. Attraction is necessary for spouses and potential spouses. Who would want to be intimate with someone they don’t find attractive?
Wow you really hit the nail on the head and did so beautifully. This is pretty much exactly how i feel. Great words, thank you 🙂
 
I am currently reading a wonderful book called “The Fulfillment Of All Desire” and found this:
Francis (de Sales) identifies three steps in the process of temptation. First, sin is proposed to the soul. Then, we are either pleased or displeased by the proposal. Finally, we consent to ro rejct the temptation to sin…Francis points out that a crucial decision is actually made right after the temptation presensts itself, at the stage where we are either initially pleased or displeased by it…the decision to take pleasure in thinking about it for a while is both dangerous and damaging in itself. Although we may fnid ourselves taking an almost involuntary pleasure or delight in a temptation, as soon as we become aware of it we need ot immediately reject both the pleasure and the temptation.
To Dally ofer a tempation is to run the risk of weakening our resolve and make it more likely that, at that time or at a future time, we will consent to it.

As pointed out in here, there is a crucial step between having a thought and “acting on a thought” where we decide whether we like the thought or not. We need to recognize this when discussing these matters.
It is not that we can make a clear and difinative line that “this is a sin and this is not”, about thoughts. It is, as Jesus tried to explain, a question of what is in our hearts. Are we willing to offend God and harm our soul even in the small way of just “thinking about it” (whatever evil “it” might be).

Peace
James
 
To be quite frank, It’s so far dificult to live our faith as Jesus wanted us to. The gate is really narrow. We can’t but by our Lord gift. let’s continue praying for that.
 
‘To abstain from sinful actions is not sufficient for the fulfillment of God’s law. The very desire of what is forbidden is evil.’

St. John Baptist de la Salle

To defeat the sin of ‘lusting in the heart’ one must cultivate an opposite reaction to the pleasure normally given by looking at a woman’s body, namely, disgust. Thereupon, when one is presented with the image of what would normally (due to habituation) tempt one to lust one is gradually trained to reject entirely the temptation by habit.

Thereupon you will be well on the road to the grace of pure chastity.
No way does this lead to chastity. What you are saying is a form of Manicheanism.

Disgust doesn’t drive out lust. Only charity does.

Edwin
 
Disgust doesn’t drive out lust. Only charity does.

Edwin
Amen.

The key to discussions like this is recognizing that original sin is when you act like an animal rather than respond according to what God says.

We can acknowledge that the fruit looks good, smells good. This is instinctive response to a stimuli. Then we should recognize that it is of the flesh and consider what God has said. This is the renewing of our mind by the washing of the word.

It is symbolized in the law when one recognized a sin of the flesh, washed themselves and were unclean until the evening.

We will be unclean until the evening of our death whereupon we will be set free from this flesh.

Whenever we act instinctively rather than upon God’s word we are committing original sin. It is the opposite of the golden rule, to put others first.

The sword of God’s word distinguishes between the soul and the spirit. “Soul” also means “waxing pale” which is symbolically dying. The spirit is that which gives life.

This is followed by distinguishing between the passing thought and the intention of the heart. God and you both know whether a thought is passing, or an intention. The difference is that you may lie to yourself about it.

Jesus’ real point was to say that our righteousness must exceed that of the Pharisees who based their righteousness upon their actions, ignoring their heart condition. He was saying that it is impossible for our righteousness to exceed theirs. But with God all things are possible.

The “with God” part refers to Christ himself who was made to be sin so that we might be made to be the righteousness of God.

One should not leave this thread thinking that getting one’s thoughts in order will produce righteousness, but that Christ’s righteousness in you will get your thoughts in order.
 
To be quite frank, It’s so far dificult to live our faith as Jesus wanted us to. The gate is really narrow. We can’t but by our Lord gift. let’s continue praying for that.
Amen to that!!

But let us not forget that it is in the striving to be perfect that we walk the narrow way.
At the end of the day, we can accept our faults and failures in prayer for forgivenss, but we must, “…Firmly resolve, with the help of thy grace, to sin no more AND to avoid the narrow occasion of sin. Amen”

I think that what many of us have been trying to get across is we must not become lax in our search for holiness.
So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth.
Rev 3:16

May God bless all in their journey into holiness.

Peace
James
 
Is it actually adultery when you think someone is very attractive even if you are 100% sure you would never have any physical contact even if you could?
No it is not actually adultery.

Kind of requires a physical act.

I think a lot of women are very attractive. But I remain faithful to my wife of 30 years.

People go crazy if they worry too much about the implications of every thought that crosses their mind.

There is a real world outside one’s own head that has real people in it…that need a kind word, a helping hand, a gentle admonishment…

Get out there and live with all your might, and do it righteously.

greystoke
 
Shin:

Just curious: what are your suggestions for quashing the lustful thoughts of men?
 
Shin:

Just curious: what are your suggestions for quashing the lustful thoughts of men?
Not Shin but…
As soon as one becomes aware of the temptation (suggestion) to sin one makes a decision whether to be pleased or dipleased with the suggestion. If one chooses to indulge the suggestion, then one commits the sin.

As for ways to quash the lustful thoughts.
  1. Invoke Jesus Name (in all reference and not as we hear it so often these days). Say something like Sweet Jesus come to my aid.
  2. Say an Our Father - Say Many Our Fathers
  3. Punch yourself in the arm:p
  4. If the person has dressed inappropriately, pray for them that they be enlightened to God’s will in their Life.
  5. Keep a Crucifix in your Pocket or around your neck to touch and say a short repentance prayer (God forgive my impure and imperfect heart)
  6. Go to confession Often and confess these things, particularly if they are recurring.
Just some suggestions - and not just for thoughts of lusting but of any sin. (accept #4 which is somewhat specific)

Peace
James
 
No it is not actually adultery.

Kind of requires a physical act.

I think a lot of women are very attractive. But I remain faithful to my wife of 30 years.

People go crazy if they worry too much about the implications of every thought that crosses their mind.

There is a real world outside one’s own head that has real people in it…that need a kind word, a helping hand, a gentle admonishment…

Get out there and live with all your might, and do it righteously.

greystoke
Every thing You said makes sense & also U have given good advice
 
No it is not actually adultery.

Kind of requires a physical act.

I think a lot of women are very attractive. But I remain faithful to my wife of 30 years.

People go crazy if they worry too much about the implications of every thought that crosses their mind.

There is a real world outside one’s own head that has real people in it…that need a kind word, a helping hand, a gentle admonishment…

Get out there and live with all your might, and do it righteously.

greystoke
I agree that this is some great advise, especially about living ones life righteously. But just because some people suffer from too much scrupulosity and “Go crazy” is no reason to ignore the very real fact that we can sin in our hearts.

Jesus very clearly states that lusting in ones heart is a sin. In fact He calls it the sin of Adultery. So to say that it, “Kind of requires a physical act”, is simply not correct.
I will repeat a bit of the quote from St Francis de Sales about when a thought becomes a sin. (See post number 61)

Francis (de Sales) identifies three steps in the process of temptation. First, sin is proposed to the soul. Then, we are either pleased or displeased by the proposal. Finally, we consent to ro reject the temptation to sin…Francis points out that a crucial decision is actually made right after the temptation presents itself, at the stage where we are either initially pleased or displeased by it

Thus we can see that we begin to sin when our will accepts the temptation for this is when we begin to damage our soul, which is what sin actually is.

Peace
James
 
I’m glad I came across this thread. I struggle with this topic in my life. Everyones posts are very helpful to me and are helping me think thru all this. Thank you.

Should the beauty of a woman or man be compared to the beauty of a sunset? Didn’t God create our sexual attraction to the physical beauty of a person for a good reason? If so then it would seem that this sexual attraction should be looked at as something good from God. Are sexual desires/thoughts and sexual attractions the same thing as impure desires/thoughts? Being attracted to someone is part of Gods plan. It’s kept the human race in existance so far.
 
I think that what many of us have been trying to get across is we must not become lax in our search for holiness.

Totaly agree but … What I wanted to point at is … prayers for God gift. and prayers are not laxity in our search for holiness.
 
I’m glad I came across this thread. I struggle with this topic in my life. Everyones posts are very helpful to me and are helping me think thru all this. Thank you.
Welcome to the boards Rickie. This thread has developed quite nicely and there is a lot to think about.
Should the beauty of a woman or man be compared to the beauty of a sunset?
Beauty, in and of itself, is certainly a benign thing. One can see beauty in many things both physical and spiritual. In fact some of God’s most beautiful work may be in some of the “ugliest” things. So consider carefully whether you are judging what is beautiful in God’s eyes or by the world’s eyes.
We can compare a sunset to a person’s beauty, but we must also recognize that they are very different things. A sunset does not belong to someone and therefore we cannot covet the sunset in the same way that we can covet someone’s wife or goods.
Didn’t God create our sexual attraction to the physical beauty of a person for a good reason? If so then it would seem that this sexual attraction should be looked at as something good from God.
Actually I would question whether God did create a, “sexual attraction to a physical beauty”, as you put it. True God did create our sexuality as part of the procreative process but our being attracted to “beauty” is often contrary to what would seem logical in a strictly biological sense. For instance, what bearing does the features of a person’s face have to do with procreation? Also consider this, what is placed before the US audience as a “beautiful woman” is very skinny, generally with smallish breasts and “cover girl” features. Yet biologically we, as men, should be more interested in a woman a bit heftier, with wider hips and fuller breasts to better carry a pregnancy and suckle young. Also we should be unconcerned about her face since that has no bearing on the procreative process.
So when you are saying God created this so it must be good, be careful that you are really talking about what God created and not about what “the world” tells us.
Are sexual desires/thoughts and sexual attractions the same thing as impure desires/thoughts? Being attracted to someone is part of Gods plan. It’s kept the human race in existance so far.
Now you’re at the crux of the matter. discerning just what is, “sexual attraction” and what is, “impure thought”. This is why I like St. Francis de Sales three steps. It really helps define that point where one transitions to the other.

There is much that is unclear in this, and Jesus did not make it easy for us bu just creating a whole new set of “rules” like the OT covenent. Instead He challanged us to look inside ourselves, to look deep inside and determine if we are truly committed to God and to things spiritual and eternal or are we committed to the world and things physical and transitory.

God Bless

Peace
James
 
Actually I would question whether God did create a, “sexual attraction to a physical beauty”, as you put it. True God did create our sexuality as part of the procreative process but our being attracted to “beauty” is often contrary to what would seem logical in a strictly biological sense. For instance, what bearing does the features of a person’s face have to do with procreation? Also consider this, what is placed before the US audience as a “beautiful woman” is very skinny, generally with smallish breasts and “cover girl” features. Yet biologically we, as men, should be more interested in a woman a bit heftier, with wider hips and fuller breasts to better carry a pregnancy and suckle young. Also we should be unconcerned about her face since that has no bearing on the procreative process.
I don’t find the skinny boyish coathanger look attractive at all. Lots of fashion designers are openly gay and prefer women to look like boys. I think straight men with enough testosterone like curvy women.

A symmetrical face, ie “beautiful” with regular features is evidence of “good genes” and absense of more obvious genetic problems. Therefore beauty is indeed often an indication of fitness to breed, in the same way that in the animal kingdom something as apparently useless as a peacocks tail attracts females.

That’s one of the reasons why in all human cultures, women tend to marry men who average 5-6" taller than themselves. The difference in height is an example of sexual selection.

Now you’re at the crux of the matter. discerning just what is, “sexual attraction” and what is, “impure thought”. This is why I like St. Francis de Sales three steps. It really helps define that point where one transitions to the other.
 
I don’t find the skinny boyish coathanger look attractive at all. Lots of fashion designers are openly gay and prefer women to look like boys. I think straight men with enough testosterone like curvy women.

A symmetrical face, ie “beautiful” with regular features is evidence of “good genes” and absense of more obvious genetic problems. Therefore beauty is indeed often an indication of fitness to breed, in the same way that in the animal kingdom something as apparently useless as a peacocks tail attracts females.

That’s one of the reasons why in all human cultures, women tend to marry men who average 5-6" taller than themselves. The difference in height is an example of sexual selection.
These are good points here. 👍
It does git compleekated don it?

Of course we’ll never be able to thrash out all the various nuances etc in this which is why I think Jesus didn’t want to “write a bunch of rules”. Of all people He knew how we humans are.😉
Rather He challenged us to go inside ourselves and seek the kingdom.

Peace
James
 
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