What Good is Marriage?

[Gaber]

With marriage there are certain legal benefits that are granted. And under many religions marriage is a requirement for a person to be allowed to engage in sex. But for some one that isn’t bound to what various religions have to say on marriage are there any benefits to marriage beyond the legal benefits that cannot be achieved without marriage?

I was talking to some one about this last night and we had a hard time identifying any. There are benefits to monogamy, but being married doesn’t guarantee your partner will be monogamous. Also an unmarried couple can be monogamous to. Any other benefits we explored were pretty much evaluated the same; not guaranteed in marriage and achievable outside of marriage.

Good question. The best reply to it I’ve ever read was a book by a Nevada divorce court judge who had also been a mayor and served in congress. It is called Is Marriage Necessary? I bellieve copies are still available on line.

 

[Gaber]

Good question. The best reply to it I’ve ever read was a book by a Nevada divorce court judge who had also been a mayor and served in congress. It is called Is Marriage Necessary? I bellieve copies are still available on line.

there are two books by that title, the one I’m referring to may be out of print. It is by George A Bartlett.

 

[levinas12]

With marriage there are certain legal benefits that are granted. And under many religions marriage is a requirement for a person to be allowed to engage in sex. But for some one that isn’t bound to what various religions have to say on marriage are there any benefits to marriage beyond the legal benefits that cannot be achieved without marriage?

I was talking to some one about this last night and we had a hard time identifying any. There are benefits to monogamy, but being married doesn’t guarantee your partner will be monogamous. Also an unmarried couple can be monogamous to. Any other benefits we explored were pretty much evaluated the same; not guaranteed in marriage and achievable outside of marriage.

In the really old days, there was not much cohabitation. And marriage wasn’t just between a man and woman. Rather, it was a union of extended families.

The marriage vows were spoken in a public space, in the presence of a crowd of relatives and friends. The two people getting married were conscious, at some level, that they were involved in “something” much bigger than themselves - you could call it “cosmic”.

That “cosmic” connection is still felt today in the birth of children.

And it is how societies distinguished between marriage and fornication.

But marriage is now seen as a capitalistic contract, a quid pro quo, a limited liability company, involving just two people. The relationship is entirely conditional. If one of the parties does not fulfill his or her part of the contract, then it’s abrogated.

But there is still a social memory of “unconditional” marriage. This “unconditionality” parallels family relationships which can never be severed (father, mother, brother, sister). The German sociologist Tonnies called it “gemeinschaft”. And it is the only soil where humanity can thrive.

 

[Darran]

In the really old days, there was not much cohabitation. And marriage wasn’t just between a man and woman. Rather, it was a union of extended families.

The marriage vows were spoken in a public space, in the presence of a crowd of relatives and friends. The two people getting married were conscious, at some level, that they were involved in “something” much bigger than themselves - you could call it “cosmic”.

That “cosmic” connection is still felt today in the birth of children.

And it is how societies distinguished between marriage and fornication.

But marriage is now seen as a capitalistic contract, a quid pro quo, a limited liability company, involving just two people. The relationship is entirely conditional. If one of the parties does not fulfill his or her part of the contract, then it’s abrogated.

But there is still a social memory of “unconditional” marriage. This “unconditionality” parallels family relationships which can never be severed (father, mother, brother, sister). The German sociologist Tonnies called it “gemeinschaft”. And it is the only soil where humanity can thrive.

Bravo!

 

[ThinkingSapien]

But marriage is now seen as a capitalistic contract, a quid pro quo, a limited liability company, involving just two people. The relationship is entirely conditional. If one of the parties does not fulfill his or her part of the contract, then it’s abrogated.

As far as I can tell the meaning/purpose/criteria for marriage is different over geography and has evolved over time. While there’s generally some association of a union from love associated with it in modern day western cultures that hasn’t always been the case and still is not the case world wide. My room mate in college (from India) for example found herself obligated to an arranged marriage shortly after receiving American citizenship (made her more valuable, so her father “sold” her). Looking in a history of marriage in western culture I’ve found examples of Marriage being negotiated as early as birth. I also found examples of marriages only requiring consent and cohabitation as far back as a couple of hundred years in Europe and as recent as about a decade ago in the USA.