What I don't like about Catholics...as a Catholic.

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Yes I could have used a different heading,but goes to show you how most here are offended,instead of offering soultions. Precisely why the problems continue because so many have the “nobody is going to tell me” anything attitude.
Maybe you are receiving few solutions to what bugs you because your list doesn’t bother the rest of us half as much as it does you. I don’t think most of the posters in this thread are doing the stuff on your list that irritates you. As for me, I can’t understand why you wasted the energy even posting such a list.
 
Every now and again I go to church with people when I’m visiting and church is part of the routine of the people I’m visiting, or I have visitors staying with me who want to go to church. I go with them because they invite me. One friend of mine in particular is a member of the K of C, an usher and one of the people who hand out communion (whatever they call those people). He’s a really great guy but he transmutes into a whole different person when he goes to church. He’s busy checking out everyone else, what they’re wearing and all the finer points of protocol that they don’t do right. He mumbles about them under his breath, but only those of us who are with him can hear him. It always occurs to me that he’s so busy with all of his observance of everyone else and how they fail to meet his exacting standards that I think he misses the whole thing he came to mass for - whatever that is. In spite of my lack of religious background, I’m still relatively certain that there has to be some other purpose for going to church. By even having a church I know he’s on to something good. I just wish he’d settle himself down and be part of it, rather than being the scorekeeper and getting annoyed every week.
 
Wow. I’m feeling pretty rotten now. We very seldom can come to Mass as we only have one vehicle and my husband works on Saturdays and Sundays. And when we do, since my son with special needs is not accustomed to going, he tends to make a scene (he has special needs). He absolutely insists on trying to genuflect, but he is very uncoordinated with leg braces so it becomes a long, distracting thing for everyone. And he doesn’t quite understand whispering so he tends to talk a bit loudly throughout. And during the sign of peace part, he wants to shake hands with everyone and if we try to break him off when its time for the Lamb of God… well, another little scene. And there is no crying room or such to retreat to.

Our Priest wears sandals or even flip flops and shorts under his vestments so I guess even he can’t make it off Nicea’s list. We have no air-conditioning in our tiny church, and when it reaches 109 degress, who can blame him? But he sorta strips off his vestment as soon as he reaches the back of the church. I go so seldom, but I’m sure I’ve worn sandals myself. And my son, 14 years old, wears shorts – he overheats and it is so much easier with the leg braces.

I try to tell myself that my dingy clothing (we are pretty stressed financially), and unruly child and all will be forgiven by the others in our church because they know we are only doing our best. But then I read this list of judgments and I wonder who in our parish is judging us similarly? If it was just a cranky old person, the kind that routinely throw dirty looks at others, I could shrug it off - we have had to do it often enough. But if Nicea works for the church… well, that puts another spin on things. Perhaps we really aren’t welcome and the only reason no one’s talked to us about it is they are being polite?

I am not offended. I am profoundly disturbed. Nicea makes me feel unwelcome and unloved. He/she makes me feel judged not worthy to be a Catholic.

My Mom is Jewish. Once we were camping with the Girl Scouts, and she was assigned to drive the little Catholic girls to Mass on Sunday. We were 4 days camping, no bathing, smelly and dirty/dusty. My mother respectfully stood in the back of the church (she would have stood outside, but it was cold). The Priest was just starting Mass, welcoming everyone and saw my mother standing in the back. He walked down the aisle and took her hand and drew her to a pew in front. She muttered, “no Father, I am Jewish and very dusty and dirty.” He just laughed and said, I know a Man and a woman who had the same afflictions, and they are the reason I am here. Come… you are our guest and you are welcome."

My mother never forgot that Priest. She retold the story to us over and over. When I converted to Catholicism, I worried how my Jewish mother would take it. She just smiled and said if I “had” to be a Christian, thank God I chose to be Catholic!

Do you think there are still people like that in our Church? Or is Nicea becoming the norm?
I think families like yours are inspiring. It sounds like you do your best, and I hope that I can discipline myself to do the same. You probably inspire way more people than you offend.
 
Maybe you are receiving few solutions to what bugs you because your list doesn’t bother the rest of us half as much as it does you. I don’t think most of the posters in this thread are doing the stuff on your list that irritates you. As for me, I can’t understand why you wasted the energy even posting such a list.
There are quite a few points worth serious discussion.
 
Thank you Monica. But I still think when I have the blessing of my husband being able to be off work on a Sunday, I’m going to have Nicea’s list in my head to haunt me. I expect this kind of judgmental behavior from the uneducated, the elderly or those in pain (the cranky factor), but when I hear it from someone who works for the church and should therefore be educated about its tenants???

Its one thing to be distracted by, say, the smell of a homeless person, or the rantings of the mentally ill or developmentally disabled. We are only human after all. But the Christian thing would be to offer it up and keep the discomfort to oneself. But to post the list proudly… wow… I’m just really taken aback. And it makes me think that those who are being nice to our family are really just wishing we’d stay home.
 
What makes you think we are getting offended? Does contradicting or disagreeing with you mean to you that we are offended? If so, you might want to look the word up. As far as entering a house or a barn, don’t forget that Jesus was born in a manger (barn) so that argument does not mean much. As far as answering a cell durring Mass, I think ALL cell phones should be turned off before entering ANY church. Also, do you really think that Jesus would care if we dressed up before we see him? The Jesus I know, says “come as you are”👍 It is better to go to church/attend mass however you are dressed than to not attend at all.
Nana
Hey nana,
Maybe we need to be dressed in our white garments all the time, so when we ‘get’snatched up’ or die unexpectedly will be ready for the big party. Don’t forget the mints!!
Personally I leave my cell phone in the car.

Speaking about cranky Catholics… I was mid church and like some ladies there is this one praying the rosary during the entire Mass, I got nothing against that…however, a few pews back and to the right of her, a baby cries out and this woman turns around and gives the baby? Parents/ probably both a glaring cold stare. Give me a break!

God bless
John
 
A good solution is to talk to and make friends with these people and draw them into a deeper knowledge of their Faith. They probably aren’t intentionally screwing up, they just don’t really think about it. Maybe they don’t know or they are feeling a little arid and don’t realize they have relaxed their standards so much.

I think I brought a soda and chips to my first Mass, wearing sweats, and kicked my feet up on a kneeler to watch what happened. I was 22, I had no experience with religion and no idea what was going on. It took awhile for me to realize there were were missals, then to figure out that what the priest was somewhere in the missal, then to figure out how to use it to follow the Mass. Even then I still didn’t understand what I was hearing or saying or doing. I was so completely clueless and I can’t say any practicing Catholics went to any trouble to clue me in, week after week after week. I bet I looked like such a moron!! Oh well, discovering the Church is totally worth looking like a moron.
 
Thank you Monica. But I still think when I have the blessing of my husband being able to be off work on a Sunday, I’m going to have Nicea’s list in my head to haunt me. I expect this kind of judgmental behavior from the uneducated, the elderly or those in pain (the cranky factor), but when I hear it from someone who works for the church and should therefore be educated about its tenants???

Its one thing to be distracted by, say, the smell of a homeless person, or the rantings of the mentally ill or developmentally disabled. We are only human after all. But the Christian thing would be to offer it up and keep the discomfort to oneself. But to post the list proudly… wow… I’m just really taken aback. And it makes me think that those who are being nice to our family are really just wishing we’d stay home.
I’m a bit puzzled.

There are some serious points made in that list. But even if there were not, why are you allowing it to upset you? And if it does upset you, why are you not (as you just suggested) ‘offering it up?’

What is ‘uneducated’ specifically in wishing for better catechesis and a far less lax attitude toward the Mass?
 
Thank you Monica. But I still think when I have the blessing of my husband being able to be off work on a Sunday, I’m going to have Nicea’s list in my head to haunt me. I expect this kind of judgmental behavior from the uneducated, the elderly or those in pain (the cranky factor), but when I hear it from someone who works for the church and should therefore be educated about its tenants???

Its one thing to be distracted by, say, the smell of a homeless person, or the rantings of the mentally ill or developmentally disabled. We are only human after all. But the Christian thing would be to offer it up and keep the discomfort to oneself. But to post the list proudly… wow… I’m just really taken aback. And it makes me think that those who are being nice to our family are really just wishing we’d stay home.
Seriously, I would do your best not to give this list the kind of power that you feel bad at church. God is pleased with your efforts. And I suspect GOD knows if you’re making your best effort! And OMG! Have you never met a cranky ol’ nun or priest? LOL! There are ALL kinds at Mass! So for every crank sitting around rolling their eyes, I gaurantee you, there are others that are in AWE of what you are accomplishing!
 
Yes I could have used a different heading,but goes to show you how most here are offended,instead of offering soultions. Precisely why the problems continue because so many have the “nobody is going to tell me” anything attitude.
i think the word offended is the wrong word here, it seems you like the topic.
The term better is resentment towards pharisaic Catholics who think because they are so holy and good they can subject people to their ridicule.

of·fend   [uh-fend] Show IPA
–verb (used with object)
1.
to irritate, annoy, or anger; cause resentful displeasure in: Even the hint of prejudice offends me.
2.
to affect (the sense, taste, etc.) disagreeably.
3.
to violate or transgress (a criminal, religious, or moral law).
4.
to hurt or cause pain to.
5.
(in Biblical use) to cause to fall into sinful ways

resent

re·sent   [ri-zent] Show IPA
–verb (used with object)
to feel or show displeasure or indignation at (a person, act, remark, etc.) from a sense of injury or insult.

** Righteous indignation** is when you become upset over the way someone is treating someone else.

It is what Jesus felt for those trying to pray, where the money changers set up shop in the Temple, charged an unfair ex-change rate for temple coins, for to pilgrims who traveled many miles, and disturbed those there to bring Worship to God.

It’s not okay to be angry at what someone does to you, normal anger lasts 15 seconds… and then sane people move on… it’s insane to think about/ or dwell on what someone else is doing that disturbs you, especially writing about…take it to the priest! If not than it really doesn’t 'bother ’ you all that much. Who knows the priest may have a few choice words for you!

God bless,
John
John
 
Our Priest wears sandals or even flip flops and shorts under his vestments so I guess even he can’t make it off Nicea’s list. We have no air-conditioning in our tiny church, and when it reaches 109 degress, who can blame him? But he sorta strips off his vestment as soon as he reaches the back of the church. I go so seldom, but I’m sure I’ve worn sandals myself. And my son, 14 years old, wears shorts – he overheats and it is so much easier with the leg braces.

I try to tell myself that my dingy clothing (we are pretty stressed financially), and unruly child and all will be forgiven by the others in our church because they know we are only doing our best. But then I read this list of judgments and I wonder who in our parish is judging us similarly? If it was just a cranky old person, the kind that routinely throw dirty looks at others, I could shrug it off - we have had to do it often enough. But if Nicea works for the church… well, that puts another spin on things. Perhaps we really aren’t welcome and the only reason no one’s talked to us about it is they are being polite?

I am not offended. I am profoundly disturbed. Nicea makes me feel unwelcome and unloved. He/she makes me feel judged not worthy to be a Catholic.

My Mom is Jewish. Once we were camping with the Girl Scouts, and she was assigned to drive the little Catholic girls to Mass on Sunday. We were 4 days camping, no bathing, smelly and dirty/dusty. My mother respectfully stood in the back of the church (she would have stood outside, but it was cold). The Priest was just starting Mass, welcoming everyone and saw my mother standing in the back. He walked down the aisle and took her hand and drew her to a pew in front. She muttered, “no Father, I am Jewish and very dusty and dirty.” He just laughed and said, I know a Man and a woman who had the same afflictions, and they are the reason I am here. Come… you are our guest and you are welcome."

My mother never forgot that Priest. She retold the story to us over and over. When I converted to Catholicism, I worried how my Jewish mother would take it. She just smiled and said if I “had” to be a Christian, thank God I chose to be Catholic!

Do you think there are still people like that in our Church? Or is Nicea becoming the norm?
Hi Sojo,
unfortunately just about every Church has their uppity Catholics, who make others uncomfortable by their POOr behavior and example!

In the winter or some cold days there’s this guy who lives in the street. he has other issues, but he sits in the back, maybe he’s praying, maybe he’s just cold.
I’d be sitting not too far away reading the Bible or spiritual related material, and watch the women walk and look at him with contempt.
Once awhile I’d offer to buy him coffee or lunch.

I love the priest wearing sandals! Why Not?

God bless,
john
 
Right. And as you seem to be a serious and mature Catholic as well as being a convert would you mind addressing them? 👍
I did in part by mentioning poor catechesis—and a few of the points about lack of reverence during Mass.

If disobedience to the Magisterium was mentioned, then that is indeed a grave problem.

But serious? Mature? Me? :eek:
 
  1. Catholics who never go to Mass
  2. Catholics who are trivial with their faith and believe that is what the church truly teaches
  3. Catholics who are E & C Catholics. Easter and Christmas Catholics only
  4. Catholics who wear shorts and sandals at Mass as if they are at the beach
  5. Catholic women who wear extra tight clothes and show a lot of cleavage
  6. Catholic parents who have no control over their young children during Mass
  7. Catholics who answer their cells phones during Mass,after being told to silence them.
  8. Catholics who receive Communion and split dodge in order to be at lunch or beat traffic
  9. Catholics who enroll their child(ren) for catechism,yet never attend Mass
  10. Catholics who never tithe because they believe it is not biblical
  11. Catholics who talk during Mass
  12. Catholics who do not show any reverence to the tabernacle
    13.Catholics who are clueless why the sanctuary lamp (candle) is there
    14.Catholics who chew gum during Mass and receive Communion
    15.Catholics who have nothing to do with parish-life and yet demand what they want
    16.Parents who want a quincernera (Sweet 15) but their daughter is not even baptized
    17.Catholic parents who want to rush their children through catechism
    18.Catholic parents who ask: Why does it take so long to prepare to receive Communion?
    19.Catholic parents who ask: Why are you charging me for catechism?
  13. Catholic parents who believe the church should adjust to their own needs and beliefs
WHY IN THE HECK ARE YOU CATHOLIC?
#4. Either you must have a lot of time to dress up or its just really cold where you are… or both. :rolleyes:

#5. What bothers me more is the fact people like you keep so much attention on that. Geez, I’m surrounded by girls like that all the time. Never found them distracting. 🤷

#7. I think that only applies to people whose social lives partly revolve around talking on a cellphone for more than five minutes and gossip text (yes girls, I’m looking at you :p). Not sure it applies to people who like me whose bulk of received calls and messages consist of notices regarding group thesis, upcoming class presentations, term paper deadlines, canceled/moved classes (and with my professors, that happens a lot).

#10. Or… they can’t really spare that much right now? :ehh:
 
I’m a bit puzzled.

There are some serious points made in that list. But even if there were not, why are you allowing it to upset you? And if it does upset you, why are you not (as you just suggested) ‘offering it up?’

What is ‘uneducated’ specifically in wishing for better catechesis and a far less lax attitude toward the Mass?
I am “allowing” this to upset me? You’re a guy right? Clearly. I’m upset. I was already nervous and mortified going to Mass with my son and his behaviors and now hearing my worst fears about someone supposedly educated in the faith acting judgmental and unforgiving and, quite frankly, non-Christian in his/her thinking… yeah, I’m upset. And now, its my fault for “allowing” myself to be upset/

You ask, what is uneducated about the list? Its that the most important commandment is to love God, and the 2nd most important is to love others. Even in sandals and shorts. Even when they talk during Mass, and even when they can’t get it together to make it to Mass every week. Even when the person next to you is entirely rude and unloveable. Even if they can’t keep their children “under control” Love first - rules second. The list was whiny and arrogant and unloving. So I guess I do take offense after all.
 
Thank you for posting this answer. I think you’re right about this thread bringing more questions but I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing. 😉
I do not wish to imply that more questions are a bad thing.
I just felt uncomfortable in addressing them, and may not be alone in thinking that way.
 
Hey nana,
Maybe we need to be dressed in our white garments all the time, so when we ‘get’snatched up’ or die unexpectedly will be ready for the big party. Don’t forget the mints!!
Personally I leave my cell phone in the car.

Speaking about cranky Catholics… I was mid church and like some ladies there is this one praying the rosary during the entire Mass, I got nothing against that…however, a few pews back and to the right of her, a baby cries out and this woman turns around and gives the baby? Parents/ probably both a glaring cold stare. Give me a break!

God bless
John
Isthe first part your comment a jab at Mormons and Evangelicals?:confused: I am not sure how that pertains to my comment…
Nana
 
  1. Catholics who never go to Mass
    WHY IN THE HECK ARE YOU CATHOLIC?
i can’t go often because of my health. so i guess number one fits me. why am I catholic? because i believe with all my heart. yes, i could go to Mass more often, can’t we all? most of the time though, my health keeps me at home. but yes, i could go when iam well enough. shorts are okay as long as they are not high shorts. shorts worn down to the knees with a nice shirt that is not immodest is nice. our our priest where we used to live wore sandals. it was exceptionally hot for him. so he wore sandals. i don’t judge him for it because its not my place to do so. i have no beef with sandals. i own a pair myself. they are nice. and classy. worn with nice clothing they look pretty good and modest. remember too, Jesus wore sandals. in countries where its over 110 degrees, and Catholics go to Mass, do you want them to wear thick shoes? no. that’d cause heat exhaustion. in summer i wear sandals because its too hot to wear other footwear. i have no problem with it. Jesus also said, judge not lest ye be judged. its not our place to judge others. concern yourself with your faith, and your spirituality, and pray for those you deem are not Catholic enough.🤷
 
Holier than thou? Give me a break! Its not judging. Its the facts. Most catholics are presumptious. If I were them…
I would be very worried.
 
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