What I miss......

[Castello]

Maybe it is the part of the country? We have so many groups and clubs and events that they barely fit in the bulletin. Something for everyone.

To the OP, have you joined the Knights? What about the Pro-Life group? Do you attend retreats and weekend conferences?

EMHCs and Lectors, those are good volunteer positions but there is not a social aspect to them.

 

[EasterJoy]

This is one of many reasons I switched to Byzantine Catholic. The communities tend to be small and close. The people are devoted to each other and their church because they have to be–the whole thing would fall apart without effort from everyone.

I don’t know if that’s an option for you but you should check. If that’s not an option try to find a smaller Roman Catholic church. Good luck!

I grew up in a small Roman Catholic parish that was like this. It was so small, when they had their annual church dinner, Father would put a list up in church and assign parishioners tasks for the day. If you weren’t going to be there, you should have told him, and it better have been a good reason. The chatting outside after Mass lasted about as long as Mass itself had, weather permitting, and there wasn’t a doughnut or a cup of coffee to be seen.

At the parishes I’ve been in as an adult, the close-knit group is the people who show up to get stuff done. If you’re active in the altar society, for instance, you get to know the other ladies, pretty soon you’re making casseroles when somebody gets sick or their husband has surgery, and before you know it you’re in that portion of the parish that has camaraderie. If you’re a convert, no problem!! If you’re willing to get out of the pew and help, that’s all they need to know.

It was only a little over a generation ago when you went to your neighborhood ethnic parish and everybody knew you. Then the number of priests and religious dropped and Catholics got mobile, the parishes grew and the number of years you’d spend in one place went down, and nothing has come in to take its place. The only thing left is being a serious volunteer, and those are certainly needed in every parish I’ve ever been in. I’ve found more warmth coming from that than from daily Mass.

 

[angierabbit2012]

A quick thought regarding the Sign of Peace and no one offering…
I can’t speak to the parishoners sitting around you during the masses you attend, but I know for me, that the length of time for the Sign of Peace (just saying “peace be with you” and “also with you” nothing elaborate or off topic) doesn’t allow time for me to offer a sign of peace for my own family sitting right next to me or literally in my lap, much less the neighbors standing in the pews. It’s not that I don’t want to or am ignoring anyone, it’s just that I’m lucky to kiss my husband and acknowledge even one of my children before the Sanctus starts. To a single person or lonely couple standing next to us, it might look like exclusion, but its truly not, it’s simply trying to keep my kids engaged with the liturgy. Just an element to consider that its more of a timing issue than a social exclusion issue.

Well, I can’t speak for the Masses in ALL parishes, but in the ones that I’ve attended the priest says “Let us offer to each other a sign of peace.” At this point, everyone starts to turn and greet others.
I understand what you are saying regarding greetings for family and close friends, I get that!
But I can’t understand how ANYONE could see someone standing there ALL alone, reach past them and shake the hand of someone on the OTHER side of that person, and then turn to someone else and greet THAT person!!

That very thing has happened to me MORE THAN ONCE! and from other posts that I’m seeing here, it has happened to others as well.

Perhaps, it’s the years of protestant fellowship that has made this so difficult for me.
In the baptist communities, you really are made to feel like you belong!
Folks ask about your life, (and they are genuinely interested in your life)
They remember your birthdays and wedding anniversaries…the little things that families do for one another!

Becoming Catholic has been the greatest gift of my life!
To be privileged to receive Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament still brings me to tears!
Sometimes, I find myself so enraptured with the Mass that I realize that I forgot to breathe!
I LOVE BEING CATHOLIC!! But I wish that my new church family could learn to be as open and receptive as my old church family was.:bighanky:

 

[Cat]

I’m a convert…Why would they ban converts?
We may not be CRADLE CATHOLICS, but we ARE Catholics!:sad_yes:

I certainly don’t want ANYONE on here to be offended by my posts.
I try to always be diplomatic and to see all points of view as relevant even if I don’t always agree with them!

I would hope that others here would do the same!

I LOVE being Catholic and I consider it a great gift, but I have felt isolated and alienated in my home parish and in others that I’ve visited as well.

I assist with RCIA class
I lead the parish in the Rosary every other week
I’m in a prayer group AND I’m in a Bible study, but I STILL feel like a “newbie” even though I’ve been there for a year now.

I just feel that if we are the Body of Christ and that Body belongs to the GREATEST CHURCH THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN, we should be the happiest, most joyful people on the planet!
Those outside the Church should be able to spot a Catholic a mile away because of our joy!

I apologize if I gave the wrong impression.

The moderators don’t ban converts just because they are converts. People are banned when they violate the rules of the forum.

But sometimes, the rules aren’t obvious to converts, at least, in my opinion.

Or perhaps in our zeal, which comes straight out of our evangelical upbringing and culture, we say something that comes out wrong, or is too condemning, or too graphic, or is perceived as rude or hostile.

Quite a few times, I have gotten upset when I feel that evangelicals and other Protestants are being unjustly attacked, and I lash back, and then I get in trouble because my reaction is not acceptable. I’ll admit, I always have a hard time with this.

Anyway, I don’t want you to fear being banned just because you are a convert.

And I hear and feel everything you’re saying. I sometimes feel closer to the saints in heaven than to the saints-in-progress on this earth.

 

[Cat]

Maybe it is the part of the country? We have so many groups and clubs and events that they barely fit in the bulletin. Something for everyone.

To the OP, have you joined the Knights? What about the Pro-Life group? Do you attend retreats and weekend conferences?

EMHCs and Lectors, those are good volunteer positions but there is not a social aspect to them.

Sometimes groups and clubs just make some feel lonelier. Sometimes I try one of the groups of clubs and feel utterly out of place. People are polite and kind, but sometimes their “circle” is not really open to new people. And they have their own “language,” and they share the common background and experiences that we don’t share.

And again, sometimes we converts don’t know the “rules” and we tend to say or do things that make others feel uncomfortable, and then we are uncomfortable, and we end up just staying away in the future.

Sometimes, I actually feel like a freak. I’ll share something about my background, and everyone wants to know, “Do they REALLY do THIS or THAT?” I really don’t want all the attention, but at least people talk to you.

I apologize, everyone, but I’m just having a hard time dealing with this thread because it is so true. If no one reminds me that I really haven’t made any close friends, I deal with it, and just get by with all my non-church friends at the skating rink and in the music community. But when something like this thread comes along, I remember all the wonderful times I had with ladies back in the evangelical churches, and how easy it was to make friends and do things together. And then I think of all the people on this forum who have stated, or at least implied, that these friends of mine are probably not going to heaven, and are heretics–and maybe you can see why it’s hard for me to actually open up to Catholics in real life. What if they feel the same way? I can’t deal with that.

 

[angierabbit2012]

I apologize if I gave the wrong impression.

The moderators don’t ban converts just because they are converts. People are banned when they violate the rules of the forum.

But sometimes, the rules aren’t obvious to converts, at least, in my opinion.

And I hear and feel everything you’re saying. I sometimes feel closer to the saints in heaven than to the saints-in-progress on this earth.

THANK YOU CAT for clearing that up for me.
I agree TOTALLY with your comment regarding the Saints in Heaven!
I feel WAAAAAAAAAAY closer to Saint Therese and Mother Cabrini than I have to ANY of the “Saints in Training” down here!
Sad huh?:bighanky:

 

[angierabbit2012]

Wow, I wish all of us in this thread were living within 10 miles of one another and we could have great fun and conversations together.

:hug1::grouphug::hug3:

AMEN SISTER!

 

[JoArtist]

It is true that it is really hard for converts to “fit in” with the cradle Catholics. They tend not to understand where you are coming from and it is really a totally different culture. I converted and moved to the opposite side of the country at the same time, which made things all the harder. I now fit in okay with the secular crowd out here, but I am still trying to make friends in Church.

 

[angierabbit2012]

I grew up in a small Roman Catholic parish that was like this. It was so small, when they had their annual church dinner, Father would put a list up in church and assign parishioners tasks for the day. If you weren’t going to be there, you should have told him, and it better have been a good reason. The chatting outside after Mass lasted about as long as Mass itself had, weather permitting, and there wasn’t a doughnut or a cup of coffee to be seen.

**That sure does sound nice…Heavenly in fact!! Sounds a LOT like the baptist church that I belonged to before I became Catholic.

If we could take the FELLOWSHIP of the baptists and combine that with the TRUTH of the Catholic Church…WOW!! How wonderful that would be!**

 

[Castello]

Sometimes groups and clubs just make some feel lonelier. Sometimes I try one of the groups of clubs and feel utterly out of place. People are polite and kind, but sometimes their “circle” is not really open to new people. And they have their own “language,” and they share the common background and experiences that we don’t share.

And again, sometimes we converts don’t know the “rules” and we tend to say or do things that make others feel uncomfortable, and then we are uncomfortable, and we end up just staying away in the future.

Sometimes, I actually feel like a freak. I’ll share something about my background, and everyone wants to know, “Do they REALLY do THIS or THAT?” I really don’t want all the attention, but at least people talk to you.

I apologize, everyone, but I’m just having a hard time dealing with this thread because it is so true. If no one reminds me that I really haven’t made any close friends, I deal with it, and just get by with all my non-church friends at the skating rink and in the music community. But when something like this thread comes along, I remember all the wonderful times I had with ladies back in the evangelical churches, and how easy it was to make friends and do things together. And then I think of all the people on this forum who have stated, or at least implied, that these friends of mine are probably not going to heaven, and are heretics–and maybe you can see why it’s hard for me to actually open up to Catholics in real life. What if they feel the same way? I can’t deal with that.

I am one of “us converts”.

Unless I had jumped in with both feet, gotten involved, introduced myself, went and sat with perfect strangers, did the grunt jobs (willing to stay til 3 am and clean the hall after the Easter Vigil meal) I’d never have made any friends at Church.

 

[Patavium]

TexanKnight,

The solution is to be an apostle of Jesus.

Why don’t you put effort in starting a Bible Study group?

You can get together to eat, talk about Jesus, and celebrate. Pray together.

It is possible to do this.

The problem with Catholics is that we tend to be 10th generation christians. We go to Church and leave it at that. Well some of us.

Remember to be TRUE christians, we need to study the bible, practice the teachings of Jesus… to be a disciple of Jesus. We need to preach the gospel to our children, friends, family members. We need to have that union.

Remember when Jesus says, when two reunite, I am there.

[BIBLEDRB]Matthew 18:20[/BIBLEDRB]