What if I don't make it?

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As I see it: See your doctor. Counseling. The Sacraments. Talk to Father. Possibilities are either spiritual attack, and/or a poorly or untreated medical/psychological condition. Anxiety/scrupulosity/OCD are epidemic in our culture. 1 in 5 suffer from some form of it. That is 64 million in the US alone.

Anxiety creates incessant doubt and irrational fears - both of which seem to be possibilities in your posts. It steals peace of mind and leaves you in a constant state of doubt and fear. Have a look: https://www.anxietycentre.com/

You will find no help here - only direction. The help lies elsewhere.
 
God doesn’t want you to go to Hell. He WANTS you to be saved and in Heaven with Him.

If you live your life trying your best to live according to His will, and so long as you avoid mortal sin, He will be merciful towards you.

If you are living like this, you will naturally grow in love for Him, and will do more of what is pleasing to Him.
 
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