E
EeyoresButerfly
Guest
I am firmly Pro-Life and believe in the stance of the Catholic Church that abortion kills, but I have felt for a long time that we are going about it the wrong way. Protesting, throwing around cliches like “murder” “pro-abortion” “pro-death” (nobody is pro abortion), spending all of our time effort and money on making it illegal are doing everyone a disservice (IMO).
What happens if we make it illegal? Will it save some lives? Sure. But just as many women will go over the borders or find back alley practitioners to obtain illegal abortions. It will not end the issue, it will simply sweep it under the rug. While we pat ourselves on the back for a job well done, babies will continue to die and we will see an increase in deaths from poorly performed abortions. I highly recommend seeing the movie “If These Walls Could Talk.” I would even go out on a limb to say that making abortion illegal without addressing the causes in the first place is borderline irresponsible.
What if instead of engaging in pointless debate that never changes minds (only makes people dig their heels in sooner) we instead devoted our time, energy, and resources into addressing the reasons why abortions exist to begin with. Wouldn’t it be amazing if abortions ended not because we passed a law but because they were no longer “needed?”
So what factors are these?
1.) A lack of respect for all forms of life. I teach special ed, and I know many sped teachers who feel that they cannot even post students’ work on the walls. While I understand and respect confidentiality, we have made it into a shameful thing to have a disability. Much of the prenatal testing centers around disabilities such as Down Syndrome. Instead of celebrating the unique gifts and diversity disabilities bring, we make it into a shameful thing that must be hidden, the modern equivalent of hiding the children away. I forget the statistic, but the vast majority of babies who test positive for Downs end up aborted.
2.) No societal expectations for men to step up. We simply do not expect men to invest in their child at all. The very most we ask is a financial commitment. So what happens to the woman who ends pregnant out of wedlock? For many it is the death of their dreams. How many women do you know ended up having to drop out or delay school because all of their energy was invested in raising the child with no support from the father while the man goes out to live his life, gets married, and suffers little to no consequences? We simply do not expect men to step up.
3.) Rape. Although we have come a long way, many men still view women as property. We are not teaching our sons that “no means no” and encourage the objectification of women.
4.) Attitudes towards premarital sex. 96% of people engage in premarital sex, judging from some other threads around here, that includes a good number of people on this site. If a man engages in premarital sex he is a stud. If a woman engages in premarital sex she is promiscuous. For the most part it is considered cool for a girl to be sexually active…until she ends up as pregnant. We need to start teaching our teens to respect their bodies, but even more so, to forgive. We need to start removing the stigma of being pregnant out of wedlock.
5.) Lack of resources for single parents. What if we took some of that time and energy devoted to lobbying and protests and opened church run day care centers at little or no cost so that women could continue to go to school? What if we greatly increased resources for single parents or low income families so that having a baby is not the financial kiss of death for the family?
6.) Changing the attitudes of the church. Frankly, the church falls short on this issue. Look at how many teachers have lost thier job because they were pregnant out of wedlock. Let’s face it, I bet a majority of the teachers are engaging in sex out of marriage, it doesn’t make it right, but let’s be realistic here. They just don’t end up pregnant so you don’t know about. So what happens when somebody does get pregnant? They are left with two options: get an abortion and pray nobody finds out (in which case you get to keep your job) or choose life and lose your only source of income. What is the more attractive option, especially for those who are not actually Catholic?
Now imagine if the church focuses on forgiveness. Acknowledging that what happened was a sin, but that thorugh repentance can come forgiveness. Focus on the fact that the woman made the difficult decision to choose life for her unborn child. Now what is the more attractive option to women? My senior year of college, the President of our Newman Center became pregnant out of wedlock. She carried the child to term and offered the baby up for adoption to a very nice Catholic couple. Instead of being shunned and kicked off the council and igniting scandal, we accepted that she made a mistake, congratulated her for choosing life, supported her, and allowed her to keep her position. There was next to nothing said about the circumstances. We knew it was wrong, she knew it was wrong, the deed was done, no reason to harp on it.
It just seems to me our current approach is not working. What was that quote by Einstein? Insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting different results. Instead of fighting a battle that in the end will not result in the desired outcome we switched tactics and started doing what we can to make abortion unnecessary to begin with?
What happens if we make it illegal? Will it save some lives? Sure. But just as many women will go over the borders or find back alley practitioners to obtain illegal abortions. It will not end the issue, it will simply sweep it under the rug. While we pat ourselves on the back for a job well done, babies will continue to die and we will see an increase in deaths from poorly performed abortions. I highly recommend seeing the movie “If These Walls Could Talk.” I would even go out on a limb to say that making abortion illegal without addressing the causes in the first place is borderline irresponsible.
What if instead of engaging in pointless debate that never changes minds (only makes people dig their heels in sooner) we instead devoted our time, energy, and resources into addressing the reasons why abortions exist to begin with. Wouldn’t it be amazing if abortions ended not because we passed a law but because they were no longer “needed?”
So what factors are these?
1.) A lack of respect for all forms of life. I teach special ed, and I know many sped teachers who feel that they cannot even post students’ work on the walls. While I understand and respect confidentiality, we have made it into a shameful thing to have a disability. Much of the prenatal testing centers around disabilities such as Down Syndrome. Instead of celebrating the unique gifts and diversity disabilities bring, we make it into a shameful thing that must be hidden, the modern equivalent of hiding the children away. I forget the statistic, but the vast majority of babies who test positive for Downs end up aborted.
2.) No societal expectations for men to step up. We simply do not expect men to invest in their child at all. The very most we ask is a financial commitment. So what happens to the woman who ends pregnant out of wedlock? For many it is the death of their dreams. How many women do you know ended up having to drop out or delay school because all of their energy was invested in raising the child with no support from the father while the man goes out to live his life, gets married, and suffers little to no consequences? We simply do not expect men to step up.
3.) Rape. Although we have come a long way, many men still view women as property. We are not teaching our sons that “no means no” and encourage the objectification of women.
4.) Attitudes towards premarital sex. 96% of people engage in premarital sex, judging from some other threads around here, that includes a good number of people on this site. If a man engages in premarital sex he is a stud. If a woman engages in premarital sex she is promiscuous. For the most part it is considered cool for a girl to be sexually active…until she ends up as pregnant. We need to start teaching our teens to respect their bodies, but even more so, to forgive. We need to start removing the stigma of being pregnant out of wedlock.
5.) Lack of resources for single parents. What if we took some of that time and energy devoted to lobbying and protests and opened church run day care centers at little or no cost so that women could continue to go to school? What if we greatly increased resources for single parents or low income families so that having a baby is not the financial kiss of death for the family?
6.) Changing the attitudes of the church. Frankly, the church falls short on this issue. Look at how many teachers have lost thier job because they were pregnant out of wedlock. Let’s face it, I bet a majority of the teachers are engaging in sex out of marriage, it doesn’t make it right, but let’s be realistic here. They just don’t end up pregnant so you don’t know about. So what happens when somebody does get pregnant? They are left with two options: get an abortion and pray nobody finds out (in which case you get to keep your job) or choose life and lose your only source of income. What is the more attractive option, especially for those who are not actually Catholic?
Now imagine if the church focuses on forgiveness. Acknowledging that what happened was a sin, but that thorugh repentance can come forgiveness. Focus on the fact that the woman made the difficult decision to choose life for her unborn child. Now what is the more attractive option to women? My senior year of college, the President of our Newman Center became pregnant out of wedlock. She carried the child to term and offered the baby up for adoption to a very nice Catholic couple. Instead of being shunned and kicked off the council and igniting scandal, we accepted that she made a mistake, congratulated her for choosing life, supported her, and allowed her to keep her position. There was next to nothing said about the circumstances. We knew it was wrong, she knew it was wrong, the deed was done, no reason to harp on it.
It just seems to me our current approach is not working. What was that quote by Einstein? Insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting different results. Instead of fighting a battle that in the end will not result in the desired outcome we switched tactics and started doing what we can to make abortion unnecessary to begin with?
These CPCs are also involved in outreach to the local high schools - they bring in college-aged peer counselors to teach them about the value of chastity and respect for their own bodies.
I personally don’t know any feminist who think abortions are fantastic. In fact, there is a predominate understanding that abortions hinder all people, not just woman. However, many feminist also believe that in search for social, economical, political, and cultural equality, we all should have leeway to make decisions about our own lives, which in the Christian sphere, we like to call “free-will”! We all make bad decisions; Adam and Eve started a huge trend! However, we all will be judged accordingly by a power much greater than us.