What is appropriate clothing to wear at Mass if you're a female?

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Think about the Sermon on the Mount - can you imagine the Lord having the Fashion Police at the edges of the vast crowd telling some that they cannont listen to him because they were dressed inappropriately? I have a real prejudice concerning those who consider those who aren’t dressed to the nines at mass, not eligible to participate in the Sacrament. Padre Pio was a real example of this prejudice. If “women” did not show up for the Sacrament of Reconcilliation with their skirt at the proper length (according to Pio), then he would not hear their confession.
 
My views on this have changed dramatically over the last 15 years or so. I used to believe what you wear to Mass does not matter. I stand before God, not man, and all that. God doesn’t care if I am in jeans or a dress.

Perhaps because I have been attending different Churches and/or because I am older, I am changing this view a little bit. It is a bit like the argument for uniforms in schools (Catholic I thought…). There is a shared tradition in the Church that goes back for centuries, Catholic/Orthodox/Protestant. Women wear dresses, skirts, head coverings. Vatican II is really the first major shift from this in the history of the Church anywhere in the world, combined with an increasingly modern focus for many Churchgoers.

I now believe that commitment to more traditional dress in Church is not pharisaical. It is participation in the tradition of the community of the Church. You don’t do it for God. You do it out of respect for the community you are in. It is a gesture of assent, participation. Directed to the Church and God. Frankly it takes a lot of work and humility. (at least for me)

I do suspect this is easier for a middle aged or older woman - good luck telling all this to a younger woman. It should not be forced; it should be discovered, freely adopted. And, no, I don’t think God rejects participation of those in jeans or shorts or halter tops. It is usually an innocent (i.e., completely uninformed) lack of respect, pride, sloth, misguided independence, whatever. Not a big deal. But we can do better. What you wear should not be your main focus in Church. I am still on the more casual side, believe me. Hope I always will be. Agreed there is pride going the other way too, no question. Just because you are in a suit and hat does not a good Christian make, ladies.
 
Would you rather people who are attending in work clothes because of their hours just not show up? It the person in workout gear who felt a calling to walk into a church pass by because another parishioner might be offended?
 
No, of course people on their way to work should wear what they must. I see a person with scrubs on at most Sunday masses. But most people don’t work on Sunday. That isn’t most people’s excuse for being sloppy.

I confess I have worn jeans and even an shorts to Mass. This is mostly or entirely at daily Mass. Typically I wear dress pants and a blazer on Sunday. If I had a compelling need I’d have no problem wearing jeans or shorts. But I’ve yet to have a compelling need.

The concept of Sunday best was to give your best to God. It was a sacrifice. The modern idea is one of presumption. Again, your best might be wearing your work clothes on your way to or from work. But that isn’t everyone’s best.
 
FollowChrist34 said:
I now believe that commitment to more traditional dress in Church is not pharisaical. It is participation in the tradition of the community of the Church. You don’t do it for God. You do it out of respect for the community you are in. It is a gesture of assent, participation. Directed to the Church and God. Frankly it takes a lot of work and humility. (at least for me)
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I agree but I do think you do it for God too. It is a sacrifice. It is making something sacred or set apart. This is why we have (had 😞) beautiful churches. The people wanted to give the best to God.
 
I agree that Padre Pio’s clothing preferences for women were unusual and said more about him than they did about Jesus, but those women were asking him for a favor as he had people beating down his door to hear their confessions. They also could have gotten the same absolution from their parish priest at home. I believe he also had a “dress code” for men and young boys; they all had to wear long pants, regardless of age. If you want a favor from a priest who is much in demand, you have to play by his rules.
 
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Tis_Bearself said:
I agree that Padre Pio’s clothing preferences for women were unusual and said more about him than they did about Jesus, but those women were asking him for a favor as he had people beating down his door to hear their confessions. They also could have gotten the same absolution from their parish priest at home. I believe he also had a “dress code” for men and young boys; they all had to wear long pants, regardless of age. If you want a favor from a priest who is much in demand, you have to play by his rules.
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This is understandable, Tis, at the same time those who use Pio’s words as “evidence” that the Church demands a higher dress code need to just cut it out.

Often in these debates one poster or another pulls out Pio’s actions as “proof” of the church stance. It was he or another Saint who also stated that it was sinful for mothers to let little infants be in a diaper…that they should be covered. When my little one was 2 weeks old, we had a day in which it was over 100 degrees in the church. No air. Children of that age cannot regulate body temperature. She was stripped down to her diaper. There was no sin for her or for me.
 
Oh, I completely agree that St. Pio’s dress code is wildly impractical and unnecessary. I often have little chats with him about it when I am praying for his intercession dressed in my shorts because it’s over 90 outside and some of my living spaces completely lack AC.
 
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Many people sadly treated Padre Pio as an oracle as sorts. I remember an Italian celebrity who said he waited on line for hours to ask Padre Pio if he would be accepted into a specific University. Padre Pio became annoyed and said “how should I know?!”
 
Tis_Bearself said:
Oh, I completely agree that St. Pio’s dress code is wildly impractical and unnecessary. I often have little chats with him about it when I am praying for his intercession dressed in my shorts because it’s over 90 outside and some of my living spaces completely lack AC.
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I catch you. We’re having an unseasonably warm spell here. My little one is currently napping in her diaper. She’s not yet considered a preschooler but she’s no little babe either. My shorts do not go to my knees. I’m wearing a teeshirt.

It’s hot. There is no “air” where I live…only perhaps at the grocer or the library…but not in homes or schools.

In that same line of thought–please offer your prayers for the children in school today. None of the area schools have air and it’s 90 in the shade.
 
And then we have people on the other side of the aisle who side eye well dressed people for being “show offs”.
 
I agree with you for the most part. But I also think God was ok with me when I was in ripped jeans or shorts or whatever. We don’t know why people dress in Mass the way they do; a modern RCC Church is not going to hassle you about this; you won’t feel ostracized at all, or out of place. On the other hand, good luck with the veil…you’ll stand out like a sore thumb. And I mean sore these days. I think I actually got glared at in one in an RCC in SF this summer - perhaps my imagination but maybe not too. (clergy no less)

How about this: established patterns of dress. If someone is coming after or before work, they are in their work clothes but on Sunday they dress differently - ok. If someone is in shorts or whatever and it is 100 degrees - ok. (they hit the knee or below - though I will admit now this is a cotton skirt and short sleeve blouse for me) When it’s raining they are back in appropriate clothes.

I share the fear others have expressed of obsessing on this - that is more dangerous than minor violations of the codes, IMHO. I don’t think this is the same thing as acting contrary to the beatitudes or the commandments, for example (social or moral violations! equal time). To me that is getting a bit too in the flesh as opposed to the spirit frame of mind.

Last point - I love it when I stand there in my (conservative black or brown) flip flops with my skirt - and Jesus is up there in his open-toed sandals, left, right, everywhere…how cool is that? (oh and Mary in her veil…)
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It can be VERY cultural though.

For instance, I live in a part of the country thats very politically liberal, but fairly strict in social norms. People tend to wear slacks and polos becuase…well, that’s what you do. Not just to church, but even in “dress down” offices.

However, I was in Atlanta for a few weeks.

The

hats

they were the size of Boing 747’s and more ornate than the Sistine Chapel. I could not tell what was posturing and what was the women trying to faithfully present themselves to Jesus. All I do know is that the women had to have the men and children between them so their hats wouldn’t touch.

They wore a mix of clothing…from what we would call a tiny “cocktail dress” to near on gowns to slacks and short sleeved button ups. It was terribly distracting, but no one there batted an eye, becuase it was their culture.
 
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Cultural sometimes varies within a community too.

My area is a mix of white americans, hispanic people, black americans who’ve been in this country for generations, and recent african immigrants and their immediate descendants. There’s definite differences in how they dress and present themselves. Many of the immigrant women wear traditional brightly colored dresses and matching headwraps. The large hats are usually on african-american women, while you’ll more commonly see a mantilla on a white women.

None of it strikes me as inappropriate or disrespectful, just different depending on that person’s background.
 
Jestersage said:
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Xanthippe_Voorhees:
Women can wear pants. Even at Traditional Latin Masses. Even at High Masses. Women can even wear pants (and capri’s—GASP) to an audiance with the Pope.
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Not with SSPX, you don’t.
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Given they are not aligned with Rome, not an issue for me or any faithful Catholic.
 
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there is a hymn, it goes

come as you are, thats how I want you.

anyone asking a question like this is not going to come to mass in a pair of togs.

be at peace.
 
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I actually agree; I love the different regional approaches, even in the same area. But when we emphasize (celebrate) our ‘cultural’ differences we sometimes do so at the cost of what unifies us in Christ. It is not about our exotic headdresses or suits or shorts. This is the argument for uniforms in schools too. Or modesty. I don’t expect many to follow it - they obviously don’t now.
 
I notice, but I don’t care any more. I’m not the clothing police or the morality judge. Go to Mass. Be open to God’s grace
 
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