Sorry, but i don’t respect the god of the bible.
You will learn to if you keep asking the right questions and honestly look past the unintentional ignorance of those trying to help you.
In every large organization, there are far more people who misunderstand the organization than the relatively few who truly understand it. At times, none within it truly understand it. But this does not make it invalid, merely difficult for you to get valid answers by asking the people.
Truth is what it is. You misunderstand it in similar ways that others misunderstand it, but merely in different directions. Your opinion is not superior to everyone else’s even if you accomplish more truthful understanding than the majority. Don’t be tempted by pride or ego.
I suggest looking upon Man from a higher perspective, above Man.
Do you look upon the grass and judge each leaf for crossing the path of another? Do you look at the forest and condemn one tree for unjustly offending its neighbor? Do you lecture them on proper behavior explaining that each should avoid overshadowing the lesser and thus cruelly starving it of light and life?
Each life can only perceive to a limited degree and every life behaves accordingly. Such it is with human kind.
You clearly can perceive much greater justice than vegetable matter, but is your idea of justice to be obeyed by the grass and the trees?
If the grass and trees are not to obey the dictates of a obviously superior human, then how is it that other much more equal humans are to obey your concept of justice?
If the trees grow into a forest and that forest over reaches its resources and thus spawns a decay, perhaps wiping out the entire forest, is it just to save that which spawned such a calamity? Such it is with human kind.
Man is the forest of humans and were first brought together in spirit and named Ahdam. But Ahdam, although good, was limited. So from his make another was formed, Eve. But just as the forest offends it’s own resource, so it was with Man. Is it just to save the humankind that spawned such a calamity? Or is it just to let Man (and thus humans) suffer as the dying forest for being exactly what they are?
You might choose to save the forest for your own purposes. That which is above Man might choose to save Man for its own purposes.
That which is above Man is Truth or Reality itself which Man can either deal with or suffer from, but cannot ignore or dictate to, rather merely rearrange as permitted.
Jesus proposed a rearrangement concerning how people treat each other so as to stop the “fall” of the forest to its utter extinction. But if the solution is not accepted, then the problem persists, the falling continues for those who cannot accept the solution for whatever reason they might perceive.
Reality/Truth/God brought every tree up from the ground and placed every leaf upon it exactly as it is. Reality/Truth/God brought you into this world to be just as you are and Reality/Truth/God will take you out of it for being what you have been.
You can of course choose to curse Reality/Truth/God for being so unjust (as your mind perceives it). A tree would perhaps curse Man for not being more just and ensuring that no tree suffer the offense of another. You believe that Reality has no “purpose” of its own. But that is your limited perception (happens to be incorrect, btw) just as a tree is unaware and cannot perceive of Man .
But curse and complain as you will about Reality/Truth/God. Reality/Truth/God does is it will. Until you work with what you are given, until you open your eyes to perceive what you have, until you learn to balance your life with that around you, justice will be that you suffer unto death as you bring such suffering to so very many around you.
You might want to reconsider the respect you hold for the God of the Bible (regardless of it being so terribly misrepresented and misunderstood by your fellow humans). It is the only one you have. Be glad of that.