In Catholic terminology, being saved is passing from a state of mortal sin to a state of grace. In all evangelical traditions, there’s the expectation that one will not bounce back and forth between the two states (as seems possible, though certainly not ideal, in Catholicism), as well as the belief that one can be confident that one is in a state of grace.
Southern Baptists (and many, but not all, other Protestants) further believe that once a person is regenerate (receives sanctifying grace) they can never fall away from a state of grace (this is often called “eternal security”). This further complicates the issue. So if you tell her “we are saved at baptism,” she will think you are saying that baptism guarantees your final salvation. If you tell her that we aren’t saved till we get to heaven, she will think that Catholics don’t have a relationship with Jesus on earth. If you tell her that that’s just not the way Catholics talk, she will think you aren’t a Christian at all
The concept of “being saved,” in other words, is so loaded and so complex (even as those who use it
think that it’s very simple), that there’s really no short and snappy way to respond without misunderstanding. I think the best answer is to say, “we were saved by Jesus 2000 years ago; we receive his saving grace in baptism; and Jesus goes on transforming us as long as we let him, until he finally makes us one with him in heaven.” But if she’s prejudiced against Catholics or has a short attention span, she may not make it to the end of this sentence.
Whatever you say, it’s important to emphasize that:
- You know that Jesus saves us, we don’t save ourselves; and
- You love and trust in Jesus and are confident of his grace and love.
If you manage to get that across, and she’s not hopelessly prejudiced, she may conclude that you really are saved but just don’t know how to express it properly. In a best-case scenario, she may even begin to wonder if her categories are entirely adequate to the mystery of salvation. . . . but that’s being very hopeful
Edwin