What is modest dressing?

  • Thread starter Thread starter UxoretMater
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
U

UxoretMater

Guest
I recently attended a small gathering of Catholic women. The kids were to play at the park while we met, so I assumed it would be a casual affair. My son wore khaki shorts and a nice t-shirt, I wore capris and a sleeveless blouse – NOT a tank. It covered all but my ankles and arms. When the women gathered I thought I was incredibly underdressed. The girls came in sundresses, boys dressed like mine, and the women in long casual shirts and short sleeved blouses. One woman came in shorts and a polo shirt.

I thought my attire was perfectly appropriate, but other than the woman who came in shorts – I ought to call her and ask her – I wondered if I was considered immodest. I think many people can wear the same outfit and look obscene if it is too tight or not suited to body type. My outfit was not clingy and I am confident it was not flaunting anything, but given the contrast I was wondering if OTHERS have had similar challenges.

When we go to mass, I dress up more, and my son always wears long pants and a collared shirt. I am simply talking about summertime-grocery shopping-to the park everyday attire.
 
You have to be comfortable. However, I have built my summer wardrobe around dresses & skirts. I like them long! Much more comfortable than clingy clothes.
 
Just please, please, please don’t wear the flip flops to Mass, especially if you happen to be serving!

Cathy
 
Detroit Sue:
You have to be comfortable. However, I have built my summer wardrobe around dresses & skirts. I like them long! Much more comfortable than clingy clothes.
Click to expand...
Detroit Sue,

Do you think women ought to wear dresses? I have considered this, so I would not think you weird if you say yes!
 
Church - no arms much above the elbows, no legs above the ankles.

Grocery store - see church… less dressy, but the same rules apply.

Park - no legs above the bottom of the knee, and personally, no arms above mid bicep

Beach - same as park (unless you are actually in the water or lying in the sun)

Pretty much, I figure it depends on how active you are going to be and whether you are inside or outside… if you are going to be running around outside, I don’t think it is a problem to have your legs and arms free. But if you are going to be inside, you should be fully covered. That’s just me of course, and I’m a slacks person, so for me it’s a matter of slacks and short sleeve shirts in the summer and slacks and long sleeve shirts in the winter. I think modesty requires that women not wear sleeveless shirts unless they plan on wearing a sweater or jacket over them and not taking the coverup off. On the other hand I personally don’t find walking shorts or capris immodest.
 
I voted for tasteful attire, but NOT in church. I once had a priest friend ask how I would dress for the President of the United States, and then, “now you are in front of Jesus, Body and Blood, Soul and Devinity.” think about that.
 
Thank you for all the replies!

I am not talking about Church – just running around doing errands and taking kids to the park when it is 85 degrees outside. I agree 100% that dressy attire is needed at Mass, and I usually wear long skirts, but sometimes I wear dressy slacks.
 
I think capri’s are the world’s greatest invention (OK, I’m exagerating a bit here). You can dress them up or down and I would wear them most anywhere. My 15 year old wears them most places that others her age would wear “dressier” shorts. I’m fortunate she dislikes the short, shorts as much as I do. So in my humble opinion, capris at the park are perfect. I think many of the sleeveless shirts being sold today have a very classy, 1950’s look.

Obviously, depending on how everything is put together, certain clothes can have have a “skanky” appearance. (my daughter’s term, I don’t think it’s inappropriate but will stand corrected if it is - I rather liked it the first time I heard it because I knew exactly what kind of look she was describing and know there’s lot of other inappropriate phrases she could’ve used.)

Did I really read that correctly and you said the girls were in sundresses - at the park - to play? How can you hang upside down from the monkey bars in a dress?

Kris
 
40.png
kwitz:
I think capri’s are the world’s greatest invention (OK, I’m exagerating a bit here). You can dress them up or down and I would wear them most anywhere. My 15 year old wears them most places that others her age would wear “dressier” shorts. I’m fortunate she dislikes the short, shorts as much as I do. So in my humble opinion, capris at the park are perfect. I think many of the sleeveless shirts being sold today have a very classy, 1950’s look.
Click to expand...
I quite agree and the was the “look” I was going for. :whacky: 50’s housewife ala Laura Petri. I guess Laura Petri was a 60’s housewife, but I thought it was completely appropriate.
Did I really read that correctly and you said the girls were in sundresses - at the park - to play? How can you hang upside down from the monkey bars in a dress?
Click to expand...
Honestly! That’s why I started this thread. If the baby in the womb is a girl, I will be very careful to avoid all attire so appropriately named by your daughter. I have seen leggings and shorts for under dresses so I suppose that would work on the playground.
 
Yeah, I know exactly the shirts you are talking about… the only problem with them… is that some women can wear them modestly and some can’t… and a lot of people don’t see or understand the difference… or the difference between a tank top and those shirts… So while technically they would qualify as “modest” they cross the line by being sleeveless in a society that can’t always distinguish an appropriate sleeveless top from an inappropriate sleeveless top. I realize it’s not “fair” to those who DO have taste, but it’s like having to draw the line somewhere on shorts and skirts… at some point there has to be a dividing line between what ought to be shown and what ought not no matter how tailored the skirt or shorts are… i.e. short shorts if they are tailored, are not more appropriate, and a mini skirt made of wool and lined is not either. Does that make sense? I’m NOT impugning your taste or your modesty but I still find them immodest for the very reason that they often times reveal too much of the arm (and other things) and make it acceptable in less tailored clothing to reveal as much. (it makes it subjective rather than objective… but THIS piece of clothing is tasteful and therefore modest, THAT piece is not… as opposed to above the mid-bicep, unacceptable, below, acceptable.) Anyway, just my two cents from someone with NO fashion sense 😃 .
 
40.png
Maggie:
Yeah, I know exactly the shirts you are talking about… the only problem with them… is that some women can wear them modestly and some can’t… and a lot of people don’t see or understand the difference… or the difference between a tank top and those shirts… So while technically they would qualify as “modest” they cross the line by being sleeveless in a society that can’t always distinguish an appropriate sleeveless top from an inappropriate sleeveless top… Anyway, just my two cents from someone with NO fashion sense 😃 .
Click to expand...
It was worth more than two cents!! And you do have a point. I agree that some sleeveless blouses would not work, and I ought to pay great attention to the possible views when wearing these tops.
 
What I want to know is why do girl’s shorts get tighter and shorter? While boy’s shorts are getting baggier and longer? My 12 year old son thought he needed new uniform shorts because they didn’t reach his knees. My answer - in May, I think not!!

I understand where you’re coming from Maggie. It’s why the high school I teach at requires collared shirts. Is it possible to wear an appropriate, non-collared shirt? - Of course. But it’s harder to find an unsuitable, shirt that does have a collar!!
 
40.png
kwitz:
What I want to know is why do girl’s shorts get tighter and shorter? While boy’s shorts are getting baggier and longer? My 12 year old son thought he needed new uniform shorts because they didn’t reach his knees. My answer - in May, I think not!
Click to expand...
Us guys don’t like to be the one in the room with the shortest shorts. So, the companies make them bigger and bigger every time. Most of my clothes are baggy now. I do this so I don’t look as skinny (I’m practically a skeleton.)

I wear normal size dress clothes for church, though.
 
40.png
UxoretMater:
Thank you for all the replies!

I am not talking about Church – just running around doing errands and taking kids to the park when it is 85 degrees outside. I agree 100% that dressy attire is needed at Mass, and I usually wear long skirts, but sometimes I wear dressy slacks.
Click to expand...
All I want to say on the subject is a plea to women to dress in a way that will not lead men into sin. Sometimes it’s hard just to walk down the street in the summer. :eek:
To make matters worse in Ontario it is perfectly legal for women to be topless in public. 😦
 
40.png
kwitz:
What I want to know is why do girl’s shorts get tighter and shorter? While boy’s shorts are getting baggier and longer?
Click to expand...
Kwitz, it is all a part of the same culture (for lack of a better word) of disrespect. The girls are objects to be ogled; the clothing is meant to be an enticement to the boys. (I actually saw in the little girls’ section of a department store a tee shirt for a little child that had “SEXY!” written across the chest!)
As for the boys, I don’t believe a lot of people realize just where that baggy, ill-fitting style comes from. It is a take off of the prison system, where the inmates are given whatever clothing will fit on their bodies, and often they are loose and baggy (obviously they have no belts to hold up the baggy pants). The “style” outside the prisons began with the hard-core rappers who were either repeating what they experienced in prison, or were trying to emulate it in order to enhance their images as “thugs”. I don’t have any children, but if I did, they would NOT dress in a manner that glorifies prison life!

Have a great day,
Judy
 
My son likes his shorts longer but fortunately not baggy. We were at the doctor’s office the other day and a young man about 14 was walking out and literally, his pants fell down. I probably shouldn’t have laughed as hard as I did but… He pulled them up so fast my son missed it. Wish he’d have seen it to be reminded of how silly the look is just in case he had ideas it was cool.

Now that you compare the baggy clothes to prison outfits, I can see the same “prison shuffle” that boys do when trying to walk in pants with the crotch down to the knees.

Now I did just buy my first pair of pants with a lower waist (by no means immodest) and I finally do understand my daughter’s arguement that high waisted pants are uncomfortable. (but I would never tell her that!!)
 
I can’t imagine that those boys in pants practically hanging off can be comfortable. If my clothes fit like that I’d be constantly tugging at them to keep them up! It would drive me nuts.

Betsy
 
Hi,

This is an interesting thread…not terribly relevant to me, perhaps, since I live in Poland, where people would absolutely STARE if an adult person came to Mass in anything less than ‘Sunday Best’ (though sadly some young girls’ parents aren’t as vigilant as they might be). I remember once going to weekday Mass wearing sandals without socks (Hey, I’m from California - sandals with socks still makes me giggle, but it’s the norm here). I had been out shopping, it was hot, Mass was available…so I went in. And got cold looks from little old Polish ladies wearing nylons and closed shoes (and sweaters!), never mind my ankle-length skirt and long-sleeved shirt (standard summer garb for me).

So the question is just academic: What do some people here have against sleeveless tops like tank tops? Is it because the straps can be skinny with big, gaping armholes that show your bra? (Can I say bra here?).

I buy pretty much everything I wear through Lands End mail-order, and their tank tops have small arm holes, wide shoulder straps, high-ish necks. They advertise them as “modest” and are frank about making them so “nothing shows.” They also say in their advertising copy in their catalogue that they make their T-shirts and knit tops thicker than the ones on the market so you don’t get “freezer-section syndrome” when you go to the supermarket.

I don’t swim, so I’ve never tried their swimsuits, but they make mostly one-pieces and modesty is an issue (lined, tug-free, modest coverage…they had one ‘bikini’ style in their summer catalogue - one - and it was also tug-free, etc.). I wonder if any of the ladies posting here have an opinion about Lands End stuff.

And I’d really like to hear from men: Do men find women in sleeveless tops ‘distracting’? I mean, are bare arms distracting? Or is it assumed that with bare arms comes low-cut necklines and armholes that open somewhere around the bottom of your rib-cage?

I would love to hear fathers, priests, chaste young men weigh in on exactly which articles of women’s clothing they find a distraction, what they would not like their daughters to wear, women to wear to mass, their sisters to wear on a date.

Gentlemen? Help us out!
 
40.png
Nel:
I wonder if any of the ladies posting here have an opinion about Lands End stuff.
Click to expand...
I love Land’s End and there is an outlet not too far from here so I can buy things half price off the rack!

Sizing is a problem, and the same style of clothes worn two sizes too small can be a problem. Teenaged girls often like wearing extra-small when a medium would be more modest. Companies make things much more fitting, too. Why must the syles be so form fitting?? I like the Land’s End polos – they have a feminine cut shirt that is NOT tight, but it isn’t like a man shirt.
 
40.png
kwitz:
Now that you compare the baggy clothes to prison outfits, I can see the same “prison shuffle” that boys do when trying to walk in pants with the crotch down to the knees.
Click to expand...
So that’s what it’s called? I do that all the time! My crotch isn’t quite that low, though.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top