What is modest dressing?

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Nel:
I would love to hear fathers, priests, chaste young men weigh in on exactly which articles of women’s clothing they find a distraction, what they would not like their daughters to wear, women to wear to mass, their sisters to wear on a date.

Gentlemen? Help us out!
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I am extremely attracted to and distracted by arm holes that promise to show body parts that are meant to be covered, (even if they are covered by undergarments), and tight shirts (depending on body type). I am also immensely distracted by belly buttons!

Short shorts and bare arms don’t distract me unless the shorts fail to cover the buttocks.

Women, and especially young women, often forget that men are extremely visual. Different guys may be distracted by different body parts, and part of the responsibility does lay with the men to control their sensual appetites and avert their eyes. There have been times when I have been distracted by a young woman who was dressed very modestly, but happened to be showing a bit of leg that I found attractive, or happened to have a shapely neck. It’s not her fault - it’s my responsibility to look upon her as a person, not as a sex object! However, as a whole it is quite obvious when a woman is dressing in a way that attracts the wrong kind of attention from guys by promising to reveal certain body parts, or by accentuating certain body parts.
 
*pro-life_teen*:
As a teen, I can say that it is next to impossible to find clothes that would be considered “modest”, especially when it comes to shorts (I have only one pair of jean shorts, because my mom refuses to buy any unless the inseam is longer than 10 inches (okay I’m exaggerating a little)). But it gets me mad when I see all these booty shorts and there are no reasonable ones, unless I want to look in the mom section (no offense, moms). Sooo I’m stuck wearing jeans and capris in 102 weather. except for the occasional skirt.
Also, yeah, its pretty easy for the men in this forum to critique what is or isn’t modest, but I’d like to see them try and find an outfit for a teenage girl at any department store. Which is not to say that I don’t try to dress modestly, I’m just saying its a lot harder than it looks.
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This is a complaint many of our students make about our dress code (in a Catholic school). To a large degree it is true. To help teenagers out, we need to start putting pressure on clothing outlets to sell more modest apparel! One way to do this promoted by Dr. Coleen Kelly Mast is called “Pure Style” fashion shows. Check out this link: respectincorporated.com/modesty.html

There is a large potential for a market for stylish clothes that teenagers would wear that are modest and that truly reflect who we are as children of God!

Teens - instead of being a slave to fasion, try making fashion!
 
I think that women should wear skirts or dresses and that men should not wear baggy clothing.

I don’t own any skirts that are above knee length or any sleeveless shirts. Sometimes my knees show when I sit down but it’s not intentional.

One thing I seriously abhor about modern fashion is the way girls will wear their jeans so low that their underwear shows, and wear flipflops with it. They look obscene and ludicrous as they try to shimmy their hips at the same time that they are shuffling due to the flipflops.

Not wearing a bra bugs me as well; girls at my school wear strapless tops occasionally with no kind of a bra underneath and it looks positively disgusting.

I think a return to the 1950s would do some good - where a woman was not dressed until she had on nylons, a bra, and a girdle. Well, nylons and girdles can go, but bras are essentially for anybody over the age of ten.
 
I appreciate the responses here! I also appreciate the people posting who think women should always wear dresses…and I ask them a few follow-up questions:
  1. Though you may prefer that women wear skirts, you do not see it as sinful if women choose to wera modest trousers, do you? That is, wearing a dress is a personal preference not at all related to morality. I say this because there are pictures of the newly canonized saint, Saint Gianna, in pants. She often wore dresses but when active skiing, hiking, etc, she wore pants.
  2. Do you believe that women can wear a bathing suit and swim in public pools or beaches, in the presence of men? Do you consider the possibility of a modest swimsuit? I hate swimming because I hate wearing a bathing suit! I am very fair and wear a t-shirt to protect my skin from the sun, but also appreciate the coverage!
Any one is free to chime in of course!!!
 
Here in central texas, we say we’ve got 4 seasons: nearly summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas. It is oppressively hot several months out of the year (90s-100s with high humidity for many consecutive days). Sleeveless cotton button-down blouses are a staple of my wardrobe, and I wouldn’t dream of trying to make my little girl play outside in long pants.

I was raised in an Assembly of God church in which shorts were strictly off-limits, even for the smallest children on the hottest days. I always thought that was pure silliness.

I saw a really good article on modesty in dress. I think it was on Colleen Kelly Nast’s website - I can’t remember for sure, but I have it bookmarked at my office. I’ll check on it tomorrow if I have time. It gave very practical guidelines - particularly for young women and teens - but good for all, I think.
 
I personallly love to see women in skirts and dresses, but I think there are other ways to be modest. I wonder though. Is this really a question of modesty, or sexuality/gender identification? For example, boys playing with dolls and girls with trucks. Boys wear pants and girls wear dresses. Is this what we’re really talking about?It does raise some interesting questions however. For instance, why can’t men wear dresses?
 
I’m a convert and came into the Church from a very secularized world. I worked in the office so most of my clothes were what I called “My Uniform” and the rest were jeans. I wore dresses and skirts and blazers or sweaters to work. I had a few bathing suits and some shorts for yard work and sun bathing. While I wasn’t too racy, I wasn’t exactly modest as I consider modest these days. Many women I saw at Mass were dressed pretty much the same as me. One day I came home from a Mass and I found myself in my bedroom standing in front of my closet, taking a good long look at my clothes and as I did so, I began removing clothes that I thought weren’t exactly cut right or were too tight or whatever. I pulled the drawers open and removed the bathing suits and all my shorts but two loose pair for garden work and everything went into garbage bags. I was going to donate these clothes to St. Vincent de Paul, but then another thought occurred to me - if I wasn’t going to wear these things anymore, why was I willing to turn them over to my sister for her to wear? So down to the trash they went. It hurt a little and that was a good thing. I felt better afterwards. Both going to the beach to hang out and sunbathing at home were done for. Garden work became a time of trial. I felt really uncomfortable in my shorts even out in my own yard. It wasn’t so much the neighbors but the fact that my daughter who was on the verge of becoming a woman was watching. We began talking about my wardrobe changes and the why’s. (That BTW, is a valid point this thread is leaving out - the effect our clothes have on the children we are raising! If we get it wrong, can we expect anything else from our children?)
Now I don’t wear shorts but in my home when it is hot.I don’t own any of the capri style shorts simply because most of them are the same length as a nice skirt and a skirt is more comfortable. I still wear my jeans and my blouses are short sleeved and for the most part loose. I’m just not comfortable in my soul when think about wearing different stuff. I like wearing a pretty light dress now that the weather is warm and to be frank, I feel more beautiful in them simply because my God is pleased with how I look. I’ve gotten over dressing “to impress” my peers - it just ain’t about turning heads anymore or letting other women dictate my attire. It is perfectly possible to wear dresses and skirts that are not only modest but cool and once you get used to the difference, they are infinitely more comfortable because I now don’t have to worry about what may or may not be showing no matter what activity I’m up to. Amazing how God can help us see with “new eyes” when we ask Him.

So gals, if you aren’t really sure if what you are wearing is pleasing to God, just ask Him in prayer and I’m sure His Holy Spirit will move you to do what is right in His sight! He is after all a man and and THE expert on purity! 👍

Peace and all good,

Thomas2
 
prolifeteen,

i agree, it is hard to find stylish clothing that is modest. I myself wear long shorts the athletic type with a sporty white teeshirt that fits. Think outside the box.
 
Women
Shoulders covered
No cleavage
Not form fitting (pants, skirts, shorts, shirts, whatever)
Shorts: Mid-thigh or below
Skirts: Lower-thigh or below
Appropriate underwear: Bra, camisole
Bathing suits: No string bikinis. Modest leg-holes. (The trend seems to be toward the more modest styles now.)
THONGS ARE OUT! (Plus they’re gross!)

Men
Shirts with sleeves (Please don’t make me look at armpits)
Shorts: Lower thigh (anything higher is doofy)
Shirts buttoned to at least the 2nd to the top
SPEEDOS ARE OUT! (Plus, they’re gross too!)
 
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condan:
Women
Shoulders covered
No cleavage
Not form fitting (pants, skirts, shorts, shirts, whatever)
Shorts: Mid-thigh or below
Skirts: Lower-thigh or below
Appropriate underwear: Bra, camisole
Bathing suits: No string bikinis. Modest leg-holes. (The trend seems to be toward the more modest styles now.)
THONGS ARE OUT! (Plus they’re gross!)

Men
Shirts with sleeves (Please don’t make me look at armpits)
Shorts: Lower thigh (anything higher is doofy)
Shirts buttoned to at least the 2nd to the top
SPEEDOS ARE OUT! (Plus, they’re gross too!)
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Reasonable guidelines. 👍

My wife and I were at the mall recently (first time in a while since we have three little ones) and couldn’t believe what we saw. The immodesty was one thing, but the stupid words on the clothes really took the cake! Why would any parent let their daughter wear shorts that said “juicy” on the back!? :confused:
 
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Stylite:
Reasonable guidelines. 👍

My wife and I were at the mall recently (first time in a while since we have three little ones) and couldn’t believe what we saw. The immodesty was one thing, but the stupid words on the clothes really took the cake! Why would any parent let their daughter wear shorts that said “juicy” on the back!? :confused:
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My husband and I were having the same discussion. He can’t imagine a man who would let his daughter out of the house like that. Sad part is, the mom is often dressed the same way.

We avoid places like the mall for that exact reason. I’ve taught my kids (boys) point blank what is right and wrong in that category. They always point out (which can be embarrassing at time, but so what) who is “not wearing enough clothes.”
 
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sullivansoul:
For instance, why can’t men wear dresses?
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Because men lack the courage to shave their legs :bigyikes:

At least I do. And you ladies wouldn’t want to see my legs anyway. Trust me. 😉
 
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OhioBob:
Because men lack the courage to shave their legs :bigyikes:

At least I do. :cool:

And you ladies wouldn’t want to see my legs anyway. Trust me. 😉
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Thomas2:
Thank you Bob for sparing us ladies!!! ROTFL :rotfl:
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I would hate to create scandal and drive poor unsuspecting souls away from the One True Church - all from the sight of me in a dress. 😉
 
Even my six-year-old daughter understands what modesty is now. She likes to play the games on Barbie.com however we often have to restrict her from certain portions of the website that deal with inappropriate topics (Ken vs. Blaine! Who should Barbie date?) or lead to forbidden product lines (anything that looks or dresses like the Bratz dolls).

To make her more aware of the immodesty of many Barbie/Mattel products, I asked her to make a tally sheet of modest and immodest characters she saw in the half-hour she is allowed to play. In 30 minutes she noticed over 36 immodestly dressed dolls or characters! She drew little pictures on her tally sheet to remind her of the hallmarks to look for.

The Modest Girl smiles nicely, carries a purse, wears a dress and has well-groomed hair. The Immodest Girl has short pants on, her navel showing, a tight top and a decidedly fashionably unkempt hairdo. I didn’t spell things out so specifically, she came up with these pictures on her own! (We do allow the girls to wear pants in our family, but express preference for dresses when appropriate.)

I only said modest dressing means covering up the parts of our bodies that are supposed to be private and not wearing clothes so tight that the covered up parts are almost visible anyway. (Didn’t get into extravagance yet, save that for another lesson.)

If my six-year-old gets it, why can’t everyone?
 
I get the idea that most people here think it’s wrong/bad for girls to wear jeans or pants. Why?
 
Hello Pro-Life-Teen!

I still wear my jeans, but they aren’t hangin’ off my you know what! They are comfortable. I’ve always been happy in my jeans though I’m careful about the cut and style. And I wear nice slacks too! To me, slacks are okay as long as they are cut right and not so tight that every detail is outlined. I don’t own any leggings and if I did, they’d be for pajamas. If I’m not sure that I look as nice going as I do coming, if you know what I mean, I wear a tunic type shirt or blouse or sweater that hangs to my hips. It really is easier to get dressed and I’m perceptibly more comfortable in a crowd than I was.
Before it was all about how I looked as well as about how others looked too. I was vain, self-serving and hypocritical. I had a double agenda that got me nowhere. I was always comparing myself with others and prone to envy, pride and covetousness. All this really did show in how I dressed and how I behaved in a crowd. I was a hopeless flirt too. Not a pretty picture. One day I looked in the mirror and didn’t like what I saw and I was sure Jesus wasn’t too happy about me either. I had to make a change.
Now, I don’t just say I’m chaste, I live it. Modesty isn’t just about what we wear. It’s more like the virtue of chastity grows inside us and it shows on the outside. Sometimes I really don’t understand why I behaved the way I did. I guess I just behaved like everyone else around me and didn’t really see the effect it had in my day-to-day life, not to mention my after-life! I hope I’m better than I was. I also know that I’m not all I could be. But hey - God ain’t finished with me yet! 👍

Peace and all good,

Thomas2
 
I have determined to never wear a bathing suit again! I think it is impossible to be modest with the any leg hole design.

When swimming, I wear a tank top and mens swim shorts. Very functional and I don’t have to feel embarrassed and go through extreme shaving procedures. 🙂
 
Bathing suits and women are one of the reasons I don’t go to the beach. It is a very strong temptation to see all those women in Bikinis and thongs. I prefer to have pure thoughts, and it is hard enough without going to the beach.
What you do is good: tank top and shorts. That is great and modest. Any God fearing catholic woman should follow your example. By doing so, many men will not be lead into certain sinful thoughts.
 
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