What is modest dressing?

[SDA2RC]

kellifickel:

I have determined to never wear a bathing suit again! I think it is impossible to be modest with the any leg hole design. When swimming, I wear a tank top and mens swim shorts. Very functional and I don’t have to feel embarrassed and go through extreme shaving procedures.

That is sooo great Kelli… My wife usually wears he swimsuit under a pair of shorts and a shirt. While she hasnt mentioned the “extreme shaving”, it certainly makes both her and I more comfortable.

Brandon

 

[David_B]

CathyD:

Just please, please, please don’t wear the flip flops to Mass, especially if you happen to be serving!

Cathy

I’m not sure if wearing sandals is the worst thing to wear to Mass. I’d be very happy to have these guys celebrate Mass at my parish, and they wear sandals!

marymediatrix.com/rel_life/friars.shtml

 

[darcee]

I know of at least three companies that have relatively modest swim wear.

Blair.com, wholesomewear.com, and ohanaswimwear.com

sunproof.com also has some more covering suits.

-D

 

[The_Hidden_Life]

Pro-Life Teen, you asked about why some people think it is wrong for women and girls to wear pants or shorts. There is not a consensus among people who promote more modest dressing. Some only want people to cover up a bit more and not wear anything too tight.

Others feel that dressing particularly femininely and masculinely is important. Modest-dressing people who believe women/girls should only wear skirts/dresses fall into the second category.

In the Old Testament there is a verse (sorry, I didn’t look it up in advance) about how God despises men wearing women’s clothing and vice versa. So, although our culture today doesn’t recognize it usually, pants historically are considered masculine dress.

In those cultures in which neither men nor women wore pants (but instead wore long tunics or whatever) there have always been marked differences in styles for men and women and the sexes were not allowed to co-opt the other’s hallmarks.

So while clothing changes from culture to culture, there has always been generally a distinct separation of the sexes in dress. So, our culture’s popular unisex look (think of jeans & a polo shirt – 75 years ago this would have been a scandal for a woman to wear in public) is a violation of those long-standing cultural taboos.

I hope this explains this line of thought without sounding condemming of one group or the other. Personally, I am transitioning to wearing skirts-only, but I do wear pants occasionally around the house or when I am short on clean laundry. My stockpile of modest, yet attractive, jumpers and skirts is still quite small. I encourage my daughters to wear dresses, but most of all to look feminine.

 

[darcee]

*pro-life_teen*:

I get the idea that most people here think it’s wrong/bad for girls to wear jeans or pants. Why?

Personally I think there is NOTHING wrong with jeans or pants as long as they are not tight or low cut.

And believe me I feel for you when it comes to shopping. I have a very hard time finding clothing for my three daughters. My oldest is 12 and she is wearing a size 5 in Jrs and we often end up just ordering shorts for her from Land’s End and letting her pick out stylish tops at the store.

-D

 

[yves]

I do agree – there are some pretty nasty fashions out there – but slacks and shoulders are objectionable?

What is modest dressing? What does “modest,” refer to? No one has mentioned opulent and/or gaudy jewelry, makeup, hair color or hair implants. . . What is worse, vanity or false pride? What about evening gowns? Designer clothes? Expensive manicures? Arched eyebrows?

I imagine that for most people the word “lewd” conjures up similar styles. Also, lots of us might generally agree on what is tight. However, can we actually go back to veils and long tunics/dresses and no makeup? Perhaps we should, but it’s unlikely to happen any time soon.

The thing is, unless it is screamingly obvious, we usually don’t know what’s in the other person’s heart. We also should not say what goes in Alaska is good for Gulf Coast dwellers.

Is this thread about what we think is modest or how we think other people should dress?

As for bathing suits at the beach, those wearing them are having a lot more fun than those who aren’t. Breathe, people! Let it go. . .

 

[The_Hidden_Life]

Darcee, Yves, I want to say that I don’t believe that there is one universal rule of modesty that must be enforced. (Sleeves must be X inches long, skirts must absolutely be X inches long, etc.)

I am trying to wear skirts-only partly to counter the culture and partly to reform my own androgynous tendencies (by which I mean that my usual uniform of jeans, sweatpants and t-shirts is none too feminine) as well as being mindful of past cultural traditions.

It is important to me to reclaim some of that territory that femininity lost when women gave up universally wearing skirts, because with it went a culture of manners and morals as well.

Yves, swimsuits have their place. I don’t begrudge anyone wearing a modest swimsuit on the beach or at the pool. But they don’t belong at the grocery store or in restaurants, etc., which I see nearly everyday now that it is summer. I think you have to choose your beach or pool wisely though, unless it is in your own backyard. Some places are difficult to keep your eyes from seeing more flesh than you really should, even if you yourself are all covered up reasonably.

Makeup & glamor: this is not a problem for me, as I have three little children under age 7 and limited funds as well as a husband that despises makeup. I probably wear makeup once a year for a wedding or other event where I will be photographed, not so much out of vanity (although I suppose it is partly) but because my coloring is so light, my features all fade away otherwise.

I have friends that spend so much money on makeup I can’t believe it. It’s just normal to them and an anticpated expense of daily living. My own sister grew up playing with makeup like some people dabble in watercolors. It’s not my thing, but you can usually tell when people obsess over it.

Fancy clothing: again, not typically a problem for me. I usually call my clothes spit rags because they might as well be after a year of burping the baby over your shoulder and becoming the surprise recipient of your child’s last meal.

I don’t think it’s good to condemn luxury clothing outright though. In Catholicism it seems there is room for people to live prudentially within their economic class without mandating that everyone give up every penny of their wealth to the poor. Yes, it is better to live in holy poverty, but it is an ideal of perfection, not the law that you have to give all your money away. A person who can afford good clothing shouldn’t be condemned for shopping at the Calvin Klein store or wherever, provided they are not being excessive to what their true needs are in their state in life.

There are some women who truly do need ballgowns as a part of dressing appropriately for their state in life. Maybe that woman could make do though with one or two ballgowns instead of buying a new one for each event. There is nothing wrong with dressing beautifully. God is the creator of Beauty and when we attempt to beautify ourselves we are imitating that act of creation.

It is easy to dismiss all luxury clothes as ostentation and say we could each do fine with just two pairs of utilitarian clothes. But I think that’s what the governments of socialism (or is it Marxism?) tried to do–impose its will by legislating and forcibly requiring “equality.” The ideal of the classless society. But in reality, there is no classless society, not even in the USA and people should be allowed the freedom to dress appropriately (yet modestly!) according to their station.

Wow, quite a tangent, sorry. It’s an interest of mine because I used to struggle quite a bit with what I called the “morality of wealth.” I wondered how anyone could be justified in spending X number of dollars on anything I considered superfluous.

Back to your regularly scheduled debate over whether or not we should wear sweatpants to Mass, etc…

 

[Jadesfire20]

I agree with some of the previous posts about how hard it is for women to find modest clothes. Here in SoCal where the weather is always sunny, the clothes for women are absolutely horrifying. The latest trend here on campus is tulip skirts made of the same material as sweat pants that are WAY too short.

Another bad trend is low rider pants that are so tight that unless you’re a size 0 you will have rolls hangin’ over the sides And we can never forget the tube tops and dresses with no bra. I’m sorry but women should not go without a bra. The only women who look good in tube tops are the ones with really perky bosoms (usually artifical here in SoCal ). For the rest of us slobs if we go without a bra our bosoms will be hanging down to our knees ( at least I know I would ; I perfer NOT looking ridiculous).

Because of this I usually don’t go shopping until im back in NY. The fashion is so bad here I’m honestly considering asking the muslim girls where they shop!:whacky:

 

[condan]

kellifickel:

I have determined to never wear a bathing suit again! I think it is impossible to be modest with the any leg hole design.

When swimming, I wear a tank top and mens swim shorts. Very functional and I don’t have to feel embarrassed and go through extreme shaving procedures.

’

Lands End has two piece “mix and match” swim suits that have either shorts or skirts to match tank tops. All made out of swim suit material. Also, matching “sarong” type coverups.

 

[ElaineMomNC]

I think modest shorts and shirts are okay. Modesty should be the most important guideline, but believe me, we live in the Southeast where it’s extremely hot an humid right now.

 

[_pro-life_teen]

Thanks for answering my question, The Hidden Life!
This is probably way off topic, but does anyone know why nuns are required to cut their hair? I think it has to do with relinquishing vanity or something, right?

 

[lizziebeth730]

condan:

Women
Shoulders covered
No cleavage
Not form fitting (pants, skirts, shorts, shirts, whatever)
Shorts: Mid-thigh or below
Skirts: Lower-thigh or below
Appropriate underwear: Bra, camisole
Bathing suits: No string bikinis. Modest leg-holes. (The trend seems to be toward the more modest styles now.)
THONGS ARE OUT! (Plus they’re gross!)

I’m assuming that by THONGS, you mean the bathing suit and not the actual undergarment?

 

[condan]

lizziebeth730:

condan:

Women

Shoulders covered
No cleavage
Not form fitting (pants, skirts, shorts, shirts, whatever)
Shorts: Mid-thigh or below
Skirts: Lower-thigh or below
Appropriate underwear: Bra, camisole
Bathing suits: No string bikinis. Modest leg-holes. (The trend seems to be toward the more modest styles now.)
THONGS ARE OUT! (Plus they’re gross!)
I’m assuming that by THONGS, you mean the bathing suit and not the actual undergarment?

Yes, I was referring to a bathing suit. I only object to the undergarment when I am confronted by one through light colored linen or gauze-like pants.

 

[Ana]

condan:

Yes, I was referring to a bathing suit. I only object to the undergarment when I am confronted by one through light colored linen or gauze-like pants.

Or sticking out of the top of the too low cut hipugger pants. Then just in case they think you might miss it, they make sure to wear the ones with sparkly rhinestones at the top.:bigyikes: Ugh.

I think dressing modestly can be considered an act of charity towards our brothers and sisters in Christ. Those that try to live as scripture instructs by guarding our senses. Almost impossible today! I feel sorry for married men that are trying to stay faithful to thier vows. Also priests with their vow of celibacy. Poor guys. They are often visually attacked and are not even safe in Church.

 

[Salena]

This is a really “ify” subject, but I try to follow the rule of Mother Theresa and Mother Angelica as far as Mass is concerned: No dresses?blouses above the elbow and no pants/dresses/skirts above the knee. Outside of Mass how could you say sleeveless is bad compared to the way most girls/women dress today (and honestly it’s a female issue). If you go out in capris with a sleeveless blouse that is modest. I would say (outside of Mass) no one is even going to notice you unless you have tight pants and a short blouse on.
In all honesty? It’s not fair to men to tempt them while at Mass. (short skirts, backless dresses, tight “anything”) They are there to worship and to destract them is a sin.

 

[Salena]

Below is a comment from a priest on this subject at EWTN. This is Doris’ question and his comment. Are we suppose to now take on the role of the priest? This, to me, is a big cop-out on his part!!!

Dear Father,
Why is it our priest to not put an end to disrespectful clothing worn to church. Last Sun.a girl in her late teens or early twenties had a very short skirt on and a top with string like straps with a large tatoo on her back sitting a couple rows in front of us. The lady with her could have been her friend or grandmother. I got very upset that a young woman would come into church like that. I remember when there was a sign up at the rectory years ago saying no slacks allowed. What has happend over the years that we just don’t have respect for Gods home. The answer I get is be glad they are in church. Am I wrong in my thinking?

Thank you,

God bless you.

Happy Easter
Doris

Answer by Fr. Robert J. Levis on 04-02-2004:
Dear Doris, American consensus is one of toleration, multiculturalism, permissiveness. We are not to correct anyone else who does what he wants as long as he is not hurting anyone else. And in turn everybody else is permitted to do what he wants without criticism or correction from another. I am sure that young lady lives according to this standard or lack of standard. What can I say? If a priest would correct her, she may take off in high dudgeon never to return to Church for 30 yeats. I sometimes ask a woman in Church to be bold enough to confront such a dresser with kindness since some girls might respect another woman’s judgment rather than that of any male. God bless. Fr. Bob Levis

 

[SeekerJen]

Jadesfire20:

Another bad trend is low rider pants that are so tight that unless you’re a size 0 you will have rolls hangin’ over the sides And we can never forget the tube tops and dresses with no bra. I’m sorry but women should not go without a bra. The only women who look good in tube tops are the ones with really perky bosoms (usually artifical here in SoCal ). For the rest of us slobs if we go without a bra our bosoms will be hanging down to our knees ( at least I know I would ; I perfer NOT looking ridiculous).

Ugh. I know what you mean. I almost never go shopping for clothing now because I know I’m not going to find anything I like and don’t feel embarrassed to wear. My mom did give me a great pair of drawstring pants last month: light-weight material, loose without looking sloppy, and they had little loops of fabric that hook with snaps so you can roll the legs up to capri-length. They’re now my favorite article of clothing.

Low rise pants are not always bad- I’m short and short-waisted, so the low-rise jeans are the only ones that don’t cut me across the ribs. But low-waisted pants do not also require a shirt with a hem that ends two inches above one’s navel, nor are they required to be so tight that one needs to lie down to zip them up.

As for the “no-bra” look…gross. And unnecessary. I’m sure there’s a certain demographic that enjoys that look, but to spare the rest of us, please wear underwear! Good rule of thumb for shirts (IMO, at least): if your bra, cleavage, and midriff aren’t completely covered, don’t wear it. True, sometimes bra straps just slip out, but honestly, why wear clothing just to show them off? Are you advertising something?

 

[KCT]

condan:

My husband and I were having the same discussion. He can’t imagine a man who would let his daughter out of the house like that. Sad part is, the mom is often dressed the same way.

I’ll never forget the Sunday a grown woman came to Mass in white shorts that were so sheer, you could tell she was wearing a thong. I felt sorry for the teen boy behind her. —KCT

 

[larry_j]

What is modest dressing???

For me it is any dress that does not become an occasion of sin…

Examples of dress I find myself looking away from and doin my Hail Mary’s are jeans that look like they are used for flossing…blouses or dresses that leave it a question as to whether or not you are wearing any clothes at all once you sit down in the pew. I’m a reasonably old fogey but I’m guessing any clothes you buy to look sexy in, may not be on our “modest dress” list. I sometimes wonder why we are considered a fairly decadent society…I watch a bit of TV and it is pretty obvious…
Ladies the fashion designers are not going to make it easy to become modest in your dress…not unless you demand it.
They do seem to be driven by profit i.e. change for change sake…
Maybe the next change in fashion will be for modesty’s sake…

I basically addressing the women here…I don’t have a clue why the guys, many guys, anyway seem to want to dress like some
some rear end a showin, low ridin kind of slob…(that is just one person’s opinion…and I don’t get out much)

Your question about modesty was a good one and there were many good answers…it was and is a hot button of sorts for me especially when it comes to church attire…I am always sorta hoping that church does not become an occasion for sin for me.

Sorry ladies but guys are wired different…it don’t take much sometimes…

 

[Exalt]

Central Texas is extremely hot and extremely humid. For any outdoor activities, shortsleeved T-shirts and shorts are a must.

For mass, though, long pants are okay. T-shirts are not. Nice non-collared shirts are okay by me too.