maria_i
Caring for the physical needs of three elderly relatives with the disabilities that you describe is more than one person can do. Although you cannot afford to pay for 24 hour care, you need to find out what kind of assistance your parents and aunt may be eligible for. Do they have health insurance which will pay for nursing home care? Or Medicaid? Or perhaps their doctors will have some advice. If there is a senior center in your town ask for information about whatever public programs may be able to help them. It sounds like it is definitely time for you to do something like this. And this is a legitimate way for you to fulfill your obligation to take care of your parents and aunt.
It is not always possible for us to physically care for elderly relatives directly. My mom and I took care of my dad (who had multiple strokes and diabetes) for as long as we could. But when he lost the ability to safely stand or walk we had to arrange for a nursing home because we could not lift him or change his diapers or bathe him without injuring ourselves.
If you go on as you are, you will become ill yourself – or even cause your own early death through overwork and stress. And then your parents and aunt will have no one to oversee their care or to be their advocate. Please believe me that it is time for you to find help. I will be praying for you.
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Hi everyone,
I feel for all of you and know where you are. My widowed mother is 93 suffers from demetia, with anxiety attacks, anger and depression. My brother is far away and cannot offer much actual physical help and will soon be leaving the country until New Year’s. It is a difficult situation. He helps with some things but the burden is day to day. But Mari_i you definitely need help from your siblings. Try to discuss equal responsibility and support with them. They just have to share the sacrifices and abuses that pop up on a day to day basis. It will also be easier to find a solution for your 3 patients together with your siblings. I can sympathize with the others posters as well. There are so many similarities that by just reading your responses has been a great comfort for me. It comes knowing that there are others in the same situation with conflicted feelings.
I offer it up to the Lord at mass everyday and have put it in the hands of Our Lady Undoer of Knots and a little solution presented itself with my mother consenting to try out a retirement community for a short period of time which helped with the burden. I am there almost everyday to help and now hope that things work out even though it has been an unpredictable roller coaster ride without a foreseeable end.
I pray for patience, gentleness toward her and to always try to treat her with respect even when it is hard. But as many of you, I get frustrated and fail but comfort comes when I can take it to Him and try to start again. My advice is like that of hodgewyfe. Look into help from public programs and your siblings but take time each day for yourself to connect with our Lord even for a little while before the Tabernacle. This has helped me tremendously, and strengthened me in an amazing way. Mass everyday has done real wonders so that I can better help and deal with this difficult situation. Remember you are never alone.
I will pray for you and your relatives for a solution. :console
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
Don’t have time now but hope to add help later.