What is the charitable thing to do?

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Suslar

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I attended Mass at another parish yesterday. It was Palm Sunday so there were many people there. I was near the front of the Church and was shocked to see people coming into Mass with their Starbucks coffee in hand. They continued to sip from it all during Mass. Then, once we sat for the first reading, a man opened his bag from McDonalds and proceeded to eat his breakfast burritos. I kept hoping I could just close my eyes and make it all go away. But to no avail. Then, I was so distracted by all of the bubble gum chopping and bubble blowing. I really kept wondering if I was in a Catholic Church! At the sign of peace, I discretely offered the woman next to me (she looked like she was about 40 years old) a tissue so she could dispose of her gum before receiving Jesus in the Eucharist. She glared at me and said, “Duh. No. I just keep my gum in my mouth.” Did I commit a faux pas? I didn’t mean any offense to her – but also didn’t want the offense to our Lord. How should I have handled the situation?
 
Suslar said:
I attended Mass at another parish yesterday. It was Palm Sunday so there were many people there. I was near the front of the Church and was shocked to see people coming into Mass with their Starbucks coffee in hand. They continued to sip from it all during Mass. Then, once we sat for the first reading, a man opened his bag from McDonalds and proceeded to eat his breakfast burritos. I kept hoping I could just close my eyes and make it all go away. But to no avail. Then, I was so distracted by all of the bubble gum chopping and bubble blowing. I really kept wondering if I was in a Catholic Church! At the sign of peace, I discretely offered the woman next to me (she looked like she was about 40 years old) a tissue so she could dispose of her gum before receiving Jesus in the Eucharist. She glared at me and said, “Duh. No. I just keep my gum in my mouth.” Did I commit a faux pas? I didn’t mean any offense to her – but also didn’t want the offense to our Lord. How should I have handled the situation?
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Yikes, were you in the Twilight Zone? Good grief! No, I don’t think you did anything wrong, but I might say something to the Priest; I think it’s time for him to mention the eating during Mass!
 
Thanks for the support. I felt so odd. Perhaps it was the Twlight Zone!
But then, with the priest using a ceramic chalice and glass ciboria, it’s likely the congregation doesn’t know what’s expected if anything goes. He’s not likely to say anything given his own abuses . . . .
like not wearing a chasible - only and alb and stole. So strange!!!
 
Suslar, is there a better parish you can register in? No one should have to put up with abuses like this.

I think you did the right thing. In fact, I admire you for your restraint.

Posts like yours break my heart, and I can’t help but wonder whatever has happened to people.
 
I’ve seen some pretty egregious situations, but eating a breakfast burrito at Mass. I think that takes the cake.

Since you are not a member there, I could imagine that your (name removed by moderator)uts would probably not be received very seriously there. I suppose you could hand the pastor a copy of Redemptionis Sacramentum ($6.95 from the Daughters of St Paul), but do I really think that would work? No.

Or you could go to Father Z’s webstore and get him a “say the black, do the red” coffee cup…

If you, as a nonmember, really felt compelled to do something, the only thing you could do would be to go back…armed with a discrete video camera, and make a recording. Then you could go to his bishop. And if that didn’t work, you could submit it to the CDW.

The charitable thing to do is to correct people who are in grave error like what you describe above. But I sure don’t know, on a practical basis, what you would be able to do about it in your position.
 
Suslar said:
I attended Mass at another parish yesterday. It was Palm Sunday so there were many people there. I was near the front of the Church and was shocked to see people coming into Mass with their Starbucks coffee in hand. They continued to sip from it all during Mass. Then, once we sat for the first reading, a man opened his bag from McDonalds and proceeded to eat his breakfast burritos. I kept hoping I could just close my eyes and make it all go away. But to no avail. Then, I was so distracted by all of the bubble gum chopping and bubble blowing. I really kept wondering if I was in a Catholic Church!
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I just give thanks and praise to God that it is not my role to instruct such people.

Remember, we are responsible for: our children, and those under our spiritual care (students in any religious classes or programs that we may be teaching or leading; children who, though not ours, are living in our homes for an extended period of time) - we are not responsible for everyone else.

The priest, however, is responsible for them - and he will be made accountable for their non-culpable ignorance on the Judgement Day. (They, of course, will be responsible for those actions of theirs that they themselves knew were wrong - but whatever the priest failed to teach them, he will be held responsible for.)

Many parishes have sadly had to erect signs that instruct people that civilized folk do not eat, or drink, or chew gum in holy places; nor do they play with their electronics, or answer their phones, or allow their phones or other electronics to make strange noises during Mass - and that it is essential that we have fasted for at least one full hour before receiving Holy Communion, in addition to have made a good Confession since the last time we committed any serious sin.
At the sign of peace, I discretely offered the woman next to me (she looked like she was about 40 years old) a tissue so she could dispose of her gum before receiving Jesus in the Eucharist. She glared at me and said, “Duh. No. I just keep my gum in my mouth.” Did I commit a faux pas? I didn’t mean any offense to her – but also didn’t want the offense to our Lord. How should I have handled the situation?
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That’s exactly what I would have done, too. Having offered, be at peace that you’ve done everything a reasonable person can do in a situation like that.

I would have said that if she really understood that she was meeting Jesus in Person in the Eucharist, that she would have removed her gum - sadly, I have seen people go to meet the Queen with gum in their mouths, and worse - so I’m sure that if Jesus were to appear to them personally in human form, they still wouldn’t think of taking their gum out. 🤷
 
I was near the front of the Church and was shocked to see people coming into Mass with their Starbucks coffee in hand. They continued to sip from it all during Mass. Then, once we sat for the first reading, a man opened his bag from McDonalds and proceeded to eat his breakfast burritos.
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Oh my word, the top of my head would have exploded - along with their dam coffee cup and McDonald’s sack.

I was in a Cato’s dress shop yesterday, the teller had no problem telling a man that he was not allowed to follow his wife into the dressing room.
 
It’s obvious to me that going to the pastor in this case would be pointless. If people are doing the things described, the priest can hardly be ignorant of the fact.
I would suggest writing a carefully worded letter to the chancery office of the diocese asking them to look into the matter for the good of the faithful.

Peace
James
 
Report this to the Parish Pastor, and if that does not work contact the Diocese Bishop. The Diocese Bishop has the authority to correct bad behaviors.

However the Pastor should be making announcments prior to each Mass about proper dress, and no food, drink or gum allowed.
Followed by several statements in his Church bulletin.

Ushers should provide trash containers near the doors of the Church for offending persons.

The officiating Priest has let things get out of hand.

We can be responsible for the sins of others.
CCC - “2480 Every word or attitude is forbidden which by flattery, adulation, or complaisance encourages and confirms another in malicious acts and perverse conduct. …”
 
It does sound like the Twilight Zone!

At least some smoker didn’t light up!

I honestly don’t know what I would have done, other than try to not sit there with my mouth open in shock.
 
I think the idea of talking to the priest, and if need be the bishop, is right. The priest could implement a homily which addresses simple Mass etiquette, proper reception of the Eucharist and so forth. Or, he could include an article in the next parish bulletin. It’s become proverbial how the catechesis has gotten to be poor in the past few years, but we are not without hope.
 
I was listening on EWTN…an elderly priest said he decided to stop witnessing marriages after finding a cigarette butt in the holy water font.
 
I’m surprized of the things you speak of .I don;t I would have believed such a story If it were not from a Catholic with first hand knowledge.I been to quite a few CC’s but this is a first.Although it seems irreverent I don’t like it and don’t know of the rules regarding such things.
 
Yes, sadly it did all really happen.

And the pastor? A product of the University of St. Mary of the Lake in Mundelein in the late 1980’s – he was not catechized properly himself. It’s his first time being pastor and he’s deathly afraid of offending anyone. He allows liturgical dance once a month at a “family Mass” – which is secret code for a bunch of 10-14 year old white girls jumping up and flailing their arms while the first reading and Gospel are grossly abbreviated and dumbed down to appease the children. It was all I could do to stay in my place and not run out of there screaming “Lord, please have mercy!”

And the distribution of Holy Communion? The lay ministers went to the altar and took their vessels prior to the final elevation. They stood in front of the congregation and gave the Eucharist to each other as the priest was consuming. In essence, they were giving out Eucharist to each other without having actually received from the priest first. Just Bizarre with a capital “B”. Makes my home parish look like the bastion of orthodoxy in comparison and heaven knows we have our own issues.
 
ANNE_2 said:
Ushers should provide trash containers near the doors of the Church for offending persons.
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Well, now there’s an idea! Do you think the offending persons would actually stay IN the trash containers throughout the Mass? 😃
 
Makes me want to cry to think what people are doing with their gum now when there aren’t trash cans nearby . . . . . . ugh
 
baltobetsy said:
Well, now there’s an idea! Do you think the offending persons would actually stay IN the trash containers throughout the Mass? 😃
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I can’t take credit for thinking about it that way, but that’s a good idea too. 👍
 
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