Love4sure, I’m a guy and I share in all of your go signs.
I generally disassociate, at least emotionally, from people who refuse to hear you before making a judgement of you or a judgement of your actions. I am a lawyer, I believe in admitting all evidence and staying critical up until the very end, which may well bring a surprise. This is very important to me.
Profanity is not acceptable. This doesn’t mean an occasional bad word, but vulgar vocabulary is not what I look for in a lady. I expect a certain level of decorum, especially during social meetings. A date is a social meeting.
Physical violence? I’m hardly going to see it, but what it comes from is aggression and lack of self-control, both of which can be expressed in other ways and both of which are unacceptable when the line is crossed. It is correct that married couples sometimes quarrel and bad names fly. But a heated quarrel between people who love each other is not the same as someone being mean and cruel, probably not even as a result of ill will but rather some personality issues, which unfortunately are aplenty in this age.
Further “go” signs:
- cheating
- accepting sexual references from males (I primarily mean serious stuff that includes a reference to nudity or sexual acts, but I’d have a problem with any kind of it anyway)
- seeking appreciation from other men too much - this includes flirtacious behaviour, parading around in rather scanty clothes etc; I’m basically too monogamous to like that
- cruelty of any kind or form; tasteful sarcasm is typically not cruelty
- dishonesty, especially lying
- double-standards and lack of symmetry, trying to make decisions unilaterally
Regarding the last, I read a lot of chivalric legends as a kid, but I did my reading well. I know that apart from the princesses who thought they were a blessing just because they existed and were even somewhat comely, there were also those who actually cared and did something to show that.
In my mid to late teens, I had a number of ladylike friends who knew how to. Not so at university, actually, but the early exposure did its job.
There is a million of ways in which a woman can behave corresponding to what is expected of a gentleman. Ladylike standards of behaviour are no less *de rigueur *than gentlemanly ones and being a faint spectre that grudgingly recognises your presence and is offended by your being male and closer than 30 foot distance is not a part of them. Speaking of, there is a million of ladylike ways to show interest or friendship and there is nothing demeaning in following them.
Speaking of, another go sign is when a person believes courtesy demeans the person being courteous. Courtesy elevates both participants of the courteous discourse.
Another thing I tend to have issues with is when courtesy triggers narcisstic responses. I similarly don’t like when people take mildness as weakness. That’s a go sign.
