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F_Marturana
Guest
Yes. This especially.First, if your wife is seeing a counselor alone, it’s not up to you to micromanage what she talks about with the counselor.
Yes. This especially.First, if your wife is seeing a counselor alone, it’s not up to you to micromanage what she talks about with the counselor.
Speaking as someone who has struggled with depression, I can tell you that it’s almost certainly not a tangent. And the fact that her counselor has never suggested treatment is alarming to me.This is really a tangent from what my question originally was.
This.I mostly need guidance in how to fix my own outlook and attitude if it turns out that there isn’t a solution to her possible depression. I’ve been to confession multiple times about my own attitude and know that regardless of how the situation improves / deteriorates, I need to work on my own behavior.
This isn’t totally ideal, but it’s also not nearly as tragic as you seem to be making it out to be.What the kids have seen is that dad keeps the house organized with the kids’ help while mom does anything except that and almost never helps unless asked to do a specific task.
Even if you’re not yelling at her or telling her she’s ugly or worthless, she can pick up on your attitude. You mentioned that you no longer love her emotionally. Even if you don’t say this to her, she most likely knows it’s how you feel. It will show through in your interactions with her no matter how kindly or calmly you act.I don’t think I have ever yelled at her. I’ve never told her she was worthless or ugly or anything like that. We pray regularly both as a couple and as a family.
Well, maybe here’s a start:I mostly need guidance in how to fix my own outlook and attitude if it turns out that there isn’t a solution to her possible depression. I’ve been to confession multiple times about my own attitude and know that regardless of how the situation improves / deteriorates, I need to work on my own behavior.
OR…she just wants to tell you she loves you. :woman_shrugging:t2: The part where she thinks it will “magically make all the problems go away” is most likely your own projection of what her motives are for showing you affection.It’s almost as if she thinks hugging me and telling me how much she loves me will magically make all the problems go away.
I have depression and OCD. I’ve had three different counselors and have yet to find one that is a good fit. It takes time to find one that is right for you and your own situation.It doesn’t sound like the counselor is a good fit for your wife.
Exactly! A messy house is not an assurance of clinical depression. Neither is not wanting to take kids on a walk to the park.Honestly, my house is always a mess. My husband and I are both guilty of letting laundry and dishes pile up. But there’s nothing either of us love more than hugging each other. We’re both fine with waking up to a messy kitchen as long as we’ve had a good night’s sleep in each other’s arms.
Those things certainly can be a result of depression. I have depression and it’s definitely a factor in my housekeeping being less-than-ideal. However, it’s up to the professionals to make that diagnosis, not the OP or any of us random strangers on the internet.A messy house is not an assurance of clinical depression. Neither is not wanting to take kids on a walk to the park.