What is the proper way to interact with a transvestite/ transgendered person?

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milimac

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For instance, should a male who wants to be perceived as a female be treated as a female? In some cultures it is common to greet a female with a kiss on the cheek for example.

Also, if such a person does not have sexual relations, what sin is he/she committing? Lying?

I ask because I met an individual recently who I (along with others) suspect may be transvestite/transgendered. I treated this person as a woman since it may have been even more hurtful to “her” if we were wrong; That is, I kissed “her” on the cheek when we were introduced, which is not what you do to a man in that culture. However, if it became known that this person was truly a man, what would be the proper way to handle the situation?
 
The transvestite should not be treated differently from what his real sex determines.
These people are to be shown kindness as they have a problem, but cannot be accommodated in their erroneous way of thinking. This behavior would only increase their problems and cause us to be party to the facade. There is a lot of help available to these person s to help them overcome this mental disorder.
 
Hello milimac
we should love all our brothers and sisters no matter what race colour creed gender physical/mental disability or not etc.In fact at Mass this mornning father was talking about how easy it is to love someone who loves us its not so easy to love someone who doesnt or who has wronged us etc.Jesus commanded us to “love one another as I have loved you”

You did the right thing my friend.In fact in most of Europe- Italy,France,Greece etc men kiss each other as a normal greeting,so i dont think you were wrong to kiss the POSSIBLY transgendered person;remember you werent sure ,only guessed.
By being a "good example"of living a christian catholic life i.e being kind and tolerant of people who are different to you ,people will admire your lifestyle qualities and respect you and want to learn from you.You are leading a good example.So if you come across this person again they may ask questions about your faith and you can help that person.
You didnt mention in your post if this person is a catholic/any other faith for that matter.If they are not catholic then in their conscience they are committing no sin.If they are catholic they will be very aware they are committing sin, lying being the smallest.
Besides all of this it is not for us to judge only God.We can not and must not be judge and jury we do not have the power or the ability.
I would pray for this person and imagine they are having a “tough time” mentally and emotionally.
This is just my opinion by the way and what do i know? i am no expert just a catholic trying to be as Christ-like as possible
God Bless
 
Love and respect the person but do nothing to support their deviation. Next time I wouldn’t kiss the person. I’d shake the person’s hand. Treat them according to their original sex and show them love.
 
The way I would interact with such a person is to pray for them. This person has basic inner problems and can use the help of God’s grace.
Personally, I wouldn’t interact with such a person as a man or woman, which I don’t see as necessary. How many women do you kiss on the cheek, or do you always shake hands with a man? Personally, in any case, I would be leery of interacting with such a person in such ways, since their sexual identity involves a serious personality disorder.
 
You should love and embrace transvestite and transgender persons as you would any other person; however you should also make it clear that their way of life is not the correct one
 
I would just give them a handshake if I were you, next time. If you continue on as you have you will lead them on to believe you’ve accepted it and then you’ll be forcing yourself to grin and bare it just because kissing in general is normal. By reducing the salutations to a handshake you make a statement without having to say a word, and there’s nothing uncharitable about that, as you are still willing to be friendly.
 
As others have said, love this transvestite as you would any human being. I personally don’t see a problem giving a peck on the cheek (guys did this even in Jesus’ time and someone has already mentioned the European custom).

In my case I always offer a female a hand unless they are a relative but if they offer their cheek well then they get a kiss as well.

If you get to know this guy and he trusts you, maybe then you can discuss the deeper issues, especially if he turns out to be Catholic.

Rove
 
You know, I’ve never found a more quick way to become sickened by my fellow Catholics than to read a thread about transgendered people.

Thanks a lot folks! You’re making Jesus proud. :rolleyes:

To the OP. Treat her as a woman. For all you know she is a woman. You haven’t performed a karyotype to determine what her sex chromosomes are, you haven’t lifted up her skirt to see if she has a penis.

To all those completely ignorant of transsexualism, I suggest you start reading up on the condition. More importantly, you might want to ask yourself exactly what makes a person definitively a male or a female and then see if every case of sex (not just limited to the transgendered condition) actually fit your model.

Cheers.
 
xixxvmcm85 said:
You know, I’ve never found a more quick way to become sickened by my fellow Catholics than to read a thread about transgendered people.

Thanks a lot folks! You’re making Jesus proud. :rolleyes:

To the OP. Treat her as a woman. For all you know she is a woman. You haven’t performed a karyotype to determine what her sex chromosomes are, you haven’t lifted up her skirt to see if she has a penis.

To all those completely ignorant of transsexualism, I suggest you start reading up on the condition. More importantly, you might want to ask yourself exactly what makes a person definitively a male or a female and then see if every case of sex (not just limited to the transgendered condition) actually fit your model.

Cheers.
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Well why don’t you just get off of your high horse and not be too sickened. Not everyone thinks transexuals are completely weird. I remember a few years back I was in line at the bank behind a no doubt male that was in a leather dress with high heels and hose. The rest of the bank customers were male on that day and none of us busted out laughing.And it was really hard to not laugh after making eye contact with the other guys. I had to run out and laugh, I am sorry I just had to. It was really hard when I had to return to the end of the line when I went back. See we were all nice to the weird guy, so now you can be happy:)
 
Mike_Dye said:
Well why don’t you just get off of your high horse and not be too sickened. Not everyone thinks transexuals are completely weird. I remember a few years back I was in line at the bank behind a no doubt male that was in a leather dress with high heels and hose. The rest of the bank customers were male on that day and none of us busted out laughing.And it was really hard to not laugh after making eye contact with the other guys. I had to run out and laugh, I am sorry I just had to. It was really hard when I had to return to the end of the line when I went back. See we were all nice to the weird guy, so now you can be happy:)
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You open your post with " Not everyone thinks transexuals are completely weird." and close it by calling him a “weird guy”. And the overall point of your message is that you think you were “nice” because instead of laughing in this persons face, who was just there to conduct bank business, you went outside to laugh.

My hero. 👍

I think xixxvmcm85 can successfully remount that high horse now.
 
milimac said:
I ask because I met an individual recently who I (along with others) suspect may be transvestite/transgendered. I treated this person as a woman since it may have been even more hurtful to “her” if we were wrong; That is, I kissed “her” on the cheek when we were introduced, which is not what you do to a man in that culture. However, if it became known that this person was truly a man, what would be the proper way to handle the situation?
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You seem to be talking about a mere acquaintance. If someone presents themselves to me as a woman, I’d treat them as I would any other person who presents themselves that way to me. It strikes me as unlikely that you’d truly find out that a person was not a woman. They could have a variety of confusions with their genetic material. They would have to tell you themselves for you to know, I’d think. Rumor would be irrelevant.
 
ConcernedApathy said:
My hero. 👍

I think xixxvmcm85 can successfully remount that high horse now.
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He shouldn’t get on his high horse again. I know what the church teaches about transvestism (and homosexuality, for example), just like I know what psychology says about them. Transvestitism is still something the Church disapproves of, as it is a disorder. The people on this post shouldn’t be making you feel sick, as they are reflecting Church teaching: we must love and respect those with mental disorders and not lead any neighbor into sin by consenting to wrong behavior. Those people who are transvestites must work out their salvation by keeping faithful to church teaching…not by going along with what feels right or with what their head is telling them about themselves. Otherwise, homosexuals would be justified in being in gay unions or marriages and committing sodomy without compunction and God’s law goes out the door!
 
In the early 80’s I worked in a Chicago hospital with a nurse who was transexual. The individual certainly had some masculine features, but I never had trouble refering to the individual as “her” or using the female name the individual introduced herself by. Indeed, she was a very nice person and during the busy course of work the oddity of working with a transexual disappeared and it became easy to perceive the person as she desired to be perceived. I never felt I was breaking Church law or somehow sinning by interacting with the person as a female. My desire was to treat the person in a dignified manner and to show respect to her, but this was true of my relations with other members of the hospital staff as well. I don’t pretend to know what motivates a person to become transexual or to be a transvestite, but I do know my interactions with those individuals must be respectful and in imitation of the way our Lord interacted with tax collectors, lepers, Roman soldiers, the poor, the lame, women who were “unclean,” and prostitutes. I don’t think I will be judged on whether I thought that person was in sin or not, but on whether I loved the person enough to recognize our Lord’s presence in him or her.
 
Hello xixxvmcm85
I was very sad to read your response.Do you think there was something wrong with my earlier reply if so please could you let me know what i did so i can apologise.Not all responses were negative either.I thought some were really tolerant caring & fair.You have every right to feel upset with certain responses but not all.God bless you my friend
 
I’ve known a male-to-female transsexual (non-op) before. Perfectly nice person, and I never had to interact with him in any way that might raise awkward issues. Being in his twenties, we moved in the sort of casual circles where you wouldn’t kiss a woman on the cheek anyway, and shaking a woman’s hand was par for the course. I called him “Linda” [not his real assumed name] because that was the only name I ever knew.

However, on the rare occasions I needed to refer to him in the third person, I always used “he/him/his.” I didn’t care to give offense and I never made an asinine point of emphasizing the pronoun; in fact, I’m not sure anyone ever noticed me do it. But my concessions only go so far. I’ll go to some troubles for courtesy’s sake, but I won’t traduce reality to salve a person’s feelings, and calling someone “she” who darned well isn’t falls into the latter category for me.
 
…let’s see…what was that second commandment… hmmm… i will think of it in a minute…:rolleyes:
 
ready said:
He shouldn’t get on his high horse again. I know what the church teaches about transvestism (and homosexuality, for example), just like I know what psychology says about them. Transvestitism is still something the Church disapproves of, as it is a disorder. The people on this post shouldn’t be making you feel sick, as they are reflecting Church teaching: we must love and respect those with mental disorders and not lead any neighbor into sin by consenting to wrong behavior. Those people who are transvestites must work out their salvation by keeping faithful to church teaching…not by going along with what feels right or with what their head is telling them about themselves. Otherwise, homosexuals would be justified in being in gay unions or marriages and committing sodomy without compunction and God’s law goes out the door!
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Trqansvestism and transsexualism have absolutely nothing to do with homosexuality whatsoever. There is no deifnitive stand or teaching on those two issues yet.
 
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