What is the right way to interpret Litany of Humility?

[ccmcmg]

Unfortunately, I cannot afford thousands of dollars at a time I’m about to lose my job. This won’t be solved in an hour session, and the cost of lengthy sessions (which is typical) is cost prohibitive.

So I end my discussion here, you’re right, this is above your pay grade, and the pay grade of 99.9999% of people. I was wrong for asking.

I have yet to meet anyone anywhere who has contact with God, who has two-way conversations with God. The only person who could help is such a lucky person.

My dear friend,
That is not at all what I’m saying. Please don’t take it that way. It literally pains me to see you in so much despair and torment, and I know that isn’t what God wants. But I also know that such feelings can be signs or symptoms of a larger problem, one that is not necessarily (or only) spiritual, but physical. That is why I’m urging you to get more help than strangers on the internet can provide. We still want to support you, encourage you, love you as God has asked of us to do.

As for ‘thousands of dollars’, I pray that you have insurance of some sort, or if you don’t, that your medical doctor has a sliding scale/reduced cash payment. He can also refer you to a therapist that has similar.

As for ‘two way conversations’ with God, people do have them. Whether through traditional prayer, contemplative prayer, or actual conversations, people do have them, and you have met them.

You can meet with any priest, and there is no charge. Please contemplate if you truly want to get better; meeting with a priest (or two, or three, until you find the right one you click with) is a great first step. Tell him what you’ve told us. I’ve been able to connect with priests that are usually within 10 years older or 10 years younger than I am; that might work for you. It doesn’t have to be your own parish priest.

You don’t have to live like this. Share with him what you’ve shared with us. Print it out, and have him read it. Be honest. I PROMISE God is waiting for you to have that full relationship with Him. I’m sure of it. Even when soon to be saint, Mother Teresa, had her ‘darkness’, or other saints, they were able to persevere, and you can too.

 

[BobCatholic]

Please keep posting here as long as you feel it is helping you BobCatholic.
I don’t think the only option is to pay a therapist-a good Priest should be able to help and provide direction for all your feelings/concerns.

Unfortunately, my search for a spiritual director keeps failing. Good priests are hard to find, who do spiritual direction. I met a couple of good priests, but they’re overwhelmed with work, too busy to help.

Is there anything in life at all that brings you small moments of joy such as a hobby or a baby smiling?

There are, but eventually all will be lost.

For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them.

 

[BobCatholic]

in so much despair and torment, and I know that isn’t what God wants.

God wants it.

Something Christ mentioned about carrying a cross.

As for ‘thousands of dollars’, I pray that you have insurance of some sort,

My insurance has a $5,000 deductible. No benefits until deductible is met. I can’t even afford to use my insurance.

or if you don’t, that your medical doctor has a sliding scale/reduced cash payment. He can also refer you to a therapist that has similar.

Sliding scale fee will bankrupt me. I’m not going to be solved in one session. Hundreds of sessions = thousands of dollars.

As for ‘two way conversations’ with God, people do have them.

Yes, but those are so rare, I don’t know anyone who knows someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows someone…

You don’t have to live like this.

This is God’s will. I can’t change his will.

I PROMISE God is waiting for you to have that full relationship with Him.

I read the “I thirst” thing. It does not reflect my experience.

I cannot expect God to talk to me. If he does, it will require me to abandon my wife and kid and become a monk living in a desert or something like that. Or preach the gospel in Saudi Arabia (and the death that will result).

So I’m clearly egomaniacally egotistical to think that I could get that close to God here on this planet.

 

[ccmcmg]

God wants it.

Something Christ mentioned about carrying a cross.

But He doesn’t want you to be in despair and without hope. He wants you to know that He loves you. He wants to have a relationship with you. We ALL have crosses. I’ve had various ones at times through my life; yes, where I wanted to give up, quit, believed much as you do. That’s one reason I believe that your thinking is skewed beyond anything what you can do about it. That’s why I keep encouraging you to seek deeper help than what internet strangers can offer. It’s not just spiritual; it’s more than likely also physical. Would you seek an internet stranger to fix your tooth that needed a root canal, but all we can offer are words?

My insurance has a $5,000 deductible. No benefits until deductible is met. I can’t even afford to use my insurance.

Sliding scale fee will bankrupt me. I’m not going to be solved in one session. Hundreds of sessions = thousands of dollars.

I think you need to look into this more. And how do you know it will take hundreds of sessions? Based on what you’ve heard or what someone else did? You’re unique. You’re you. You might be surprised. And again, a good priest can help, especially when you can’t pay a therapist. Plus, some therapists DO have sessions for as little as $20. This IS important. Where we used to live, they had an ‘area mental health center’ for those needing assistance.

Yes, but those are so rare, I don’t know anyone who knows someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows someone…

Really? Well, the person typing this message to you right now has spoken with God, and He has spoken to me; not only through regular prayer, but over a period of time, in ‘voice’. I know I’m not the only one. We as Catholics don’t do a very good job of sharing our experiences with God with others. I haven’t ‘heard’ His Voice for many years as I did during one period, but I hear Him in my heart, and in the circumstances He’s placed me in, and various other ways that are beyond understanding.

This is God’s will. I can’t change his will.

How do you know? You said you haven’t had a conversation with Him, or an answer to a prayer.

I read the “I thirst” thing. It does not reflect my experience.

I cannot expect God to talk to me. If he does, it will require me to abandon my wife and kid and become a monk living in a desert or something like that. Or preach the gospel in Saudi Arabia (and the death that will result).

So I’m clearly egomaniacally egotistical to think that I could get that close to God here on this planet.

You can expect God to speak to you. It might be through others; it might be through experiences or circumstances. We have to learn to listen, expect to listen, know how to listen. It’s more egotistical to think that God won’t talk to you, that you are beyond His reach. His reach has no limit.

How can you presume what God will tell you, when you say you haven’t heard Him? If that’s what you’re waiting to hear, clearly that is NOT what He wants from you. Some of us are called to do small things with great love.

Please, please. There is more help and assistance than we can give you. Don’t despair, don’t give up. We care about you. We want you to be complete.

 

[Elena321]

BobCatholic–
I hope your having an ok day.:hug3:
Does this YouTube video by a priest on joy (both as the emotion and as the spiritual sense) help at all?
youtube.com/watch?v=Nn1zOkWyho0

 

[BobCatholic]

But He doesn’t want you to be in despair and without hope.

I’m not in despair or without hope. All I did was resign myself to accept God’s will.

He wants to have a relationship with you

Then he would have responded. He hasn’t.

It is clear his will is that all I am to have is a corporate relationship with him, and not a personal one. I can’t ask for more. I can’t get more. That door is closed.

So I just accept his will. Grin and bear it, like when one does getting a shot.

It’s not just spiritual; it’s more than likely also physical. Would you seek an internet stranger to fix your tooth that needed a root canal, but all we can offer are words?

God does not care about the temporal, the temporal is an afterthought at best, and declared worthless at worst.

And how do you know it will take hundreds of sessions?

People are imperfect.

Only God can heal in one session.

Plus, some therapists DO have sessions for as little as $20. This IS important. Where we used to live, they had an ‘area mental health center’ for those needing assistance.

I don’t have such a clinic where I live.

Really? Well, the person typing this message to you right now has spoken with God, and He has spoken to me; not only through regular prayer, but over a period of time, in ‘voice’. I know I’m not the only one. We as Catholics don’t do a very good job of sharing our experiences with God with others. I haven’t ‘heard’ His Voice for many years as I did during one period, but I hear Him in my heart, and in the circumstances He’s placed me in, and various other ways that are beyond understanding.

Well, you’re lucky.

How do you know? You said you haven’t had a conversation with Him, or an answer to a prayer.

Precisely. When I can’t have a conversation, the answer must be no. When the answer is no, how do I get God to change his mind? I can’t. Precisely because there is no conversation.

Prayer is a monologue to me. Nothing more. So I pray for others since prayers to help me are worthless (i.e. answer is “no”).

You can expect God to speak to you.

I can’t. I’ve done many things to get closer to God. I’m still being hit with evil, clearly God doesn’t care about me enough to stop the evil. And he is silent.

It’s more egotistical to think that God won’t talk to you, that you are beyond His reach. His reach has no limit.

God’s reach is limited by his will. If he wills it that he doesn’t want to reach me, game over, nothing I can do.

How can you presume what God will tell you, when you say you haven’t heard Him?

No answer = Prayer request denied. No. Nyet. None. Game over.

Again, thanks for your response. Perhaps it is better to talk via PM? I clearly ruined this thread, and feel bad about that.