What is the vocation of same-sex-attracted Catholics?

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I don’t know how to best pose this question so forgive me for any clumsiness as it’s a sensitive topic. If we are supposed to have a vocation of holy matrimony or religious life, what is the vocation for the same-sex-attracted who are not supposed to marry but are also not supposed to be welcomed into religious life? I’m a straight single woman and it’s confusing enough for me as I don’t feel called to religious life and at this point am content if I never marry. Thinking of my own vocation less state made me think about our same-sex-attracted brothers and sisters. Is this explained anywhere? I have seen the teaching on sexual morality but nothing that addresses vocation in these instances.
 
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There is a place in the religious life for those with same sex attraction.
Have you looked into third orders?
There are many third orders in existence.
 
jeannetherese said:
There is a place in the religious life for those with same sex attraction.
Have you looked into third orders?
There are many third orders in existence.
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I forgot about those. It doesn’t personally interest me. But would they accept a gay brother or sister? I just searched briefly and got no definitive answer.
 
Joining a third order isn’t a sexual thing, it’s a spiritual thing.
You’ll want to look into many different orders as you discern which one you are called to join.
 
jeannetherese said:
Joining a third order isn’t a sexual thing, it’s a spiritual thing.
You’ll want to look into many different orders as you discern which one you are called to join.
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I’m not sure where the confusion is but I’m not same-sex-attracted nor looking to join an order. I’m interested in what the Church offers homosexuals who cannot marry nor join religious life. I never said a third order has to do with sex, but do the same restrictions apply regarding orientation? Also, would that be considered the only “vocation” available to same-sex-attracted if they don’t choose that.
 
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I think this is the sort of question that (assuming the world doesn’t end soon) will get answered more dynamically in the years to come.

It’s certainly already on the minds and conversations of many, what Catholic life ‘should’ look like for single people who seem unlikely to marry or join a consecrated religious community (for whatever reason(s)).

One note I’d chime in with is what a priest-monk told me, which I thought was actually a helpful point. I was discerning with a monastery of nuns at the time but I was bothered by the fact that while the priesthood is a sacrament, and marriage is a sacrament, consecrated religious life isn’t a sacrament. It left me wondering if consecrated life was really ‘real’ as a vocation, if it didn’t have a sacrament associated.

This priest-brother said that for consecrated religious people, their consecrations are just further specification and living out of their original baptismal call. He seemed to be suggesting that at the sacrament of baptism, we are each ‘baptized into’ not only Christ’s death and life, but into God’s particular call for each one of us. So a woman making vows as a nun isn’t receiving a new sacrament – she’s just continuing to flesh out the original baptismal call, and specific plan, God designed her for.

There are saints who were singles.

I think the point is that each of us needs to be attentive to our own baptismal calls – and let the Holy Spirit help us discern what that is.

There may well be new forms of community (or at least, committed ways of living) on the horizon.

I don’t expect the magisterium to decree anything new from on high though. I expect anything new to bubble from each baptized Catholic on up.
 
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Thanks @MNathaniel. For myself, as a straight single woman, I don’t feel called to consecrated life and I’m open to marriage but don’t feel like I’m going out of my way at this point. My life is fulfilling right now on my own. I just am concerned with the struggle of others. I have a gay male friend who is Catholic and is having issues knowing his place and I know he isn’t alone. He has gone to Mass with me and went on his own recently and that’s a big step but he is still not at ease. It just made me think of the bigger picture for people like him. Many are quick to say what another’s cross is but not open to talking about the solutions and implications of what is asked.
 
I also never felt called to religious life, and was content to never marry.
Until I met the woman I married.
 
JimG said:
I also never felt called to religious life, and was content to never marry.
Until I met the woman I married.
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Everyone says I will find a husband now that I don’t care, haha!
 
Are marriage or religious the only vocations? I’ve heard some say that singleness is also a vocation.
 
Oh definitely. I have a dear loved one who struggles with the same issue.

Honestly, my expectation is that the ‘answer’ to this one will come from faithful practicing Catholics who also experience SSA. There are already many out there (see Eden Invitation etc). I think it’s the people who actually experience this particular trial who are best positioned to explore the best responses to it. But I expect that ultimately there may be some overlap between what SSA versus OSA singles end up doing, and also some areas of non-overlap.

E.g. before he went underground after a public shaming a few years ago for sins of his youth, Dan Mattson (excellent musician, and SSA practicing Catholic) was exploring the idea of a ‘beer ministry’ or something like that: basically, holy friendship with people in the world, and bringing sanctity and holy, cheerful conversations to places like pubs etc.

As far as I’m aware the limitations regarding consecrated communities, is so far a pragmatic issue, not spiritual. It’s just an unfortunate pragmatic reality that the very structure of a monastery (designed specifically to house people who aren’t sexually attracted to each other) seems less helpful for a person likely to be placed under the burden of temptation there.

I’ve imagined things like holy roommate pairs of one SSA man and woman each – but honestly, I don’t know what’s the most healthy and practicable thing, and that’s why I’m waiting to let faithful SSA Catholics take the lead on teaching the rest of us what works best in their particular situation.
 
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Dlee said:
Are marriage or religious the only vocations? I’ve heard some say that singleness is also a vocation.
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Some say it is but I disagree. A vocation is accepting vows, you are beholden to another person or a community. Unless a single does the third order thing, the are a free agent. I think some singles feel better by saying it’s a vocation but that doesn’t make it so. I don’t owe anything to anyone but my self, there is no sacrifice or accountability to another or a community, so not the same IMHO.
 
catholiclala said:
same-sex-attracted brothers and sisters. Is this explained anywhere?
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No Holy Orders or Seminary for certain persons:
Such persons in fact, find themselves in a situation that gravely hinders them from relating correctly to men and women. One must in no way overlook the negative consequences that can derive from the ordination of persons with deep-seated homosexual tendencies.

Different, however, would be the case in which one were dealing with homosexual tendencies that were only the expression of a transitory problem - for example, that of an adolescence not yet superseded. Nevertheless, such tendencies must be clearly overcome at least three years before ordination to the diaconate.
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http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/c...con_ccatheduc_doc_20051104_istruzione_en.html
 
catholiclala said:
A vocation is accepting vows, you are beholden to another person or a community
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Here’s the dictionary definition for vocation from Catholic Culture. There is no mention of vows.

VOCATION

Definition​

A call from God to a distinctive state of life, in which the person can reach holiness. The Second Vatican Council made it plain that there is a “Universal call [ vocatio ] to holiness in the Church” ( Lumen Gentium, 39). (Etym. Latin vocatio, a calling, summoning; from vocare, to call.)
Source:

 
@vico I have read this but that doesn’t specifically apply to the query. That answers the question for those looking to join an order. I’m saying assuming they can’t what is their vocation?
 
True, I’m just thinking in a marriage you take vows as a spouse and most religious take vows to their order. Those are the two recognized vocations as far as I know. There is no equivalent for singles. I’m not making any declaration of fidelity to anything in the same way.
 
catholiclala said:
If we are supposed to have a vocation of holy matrimony or religious life
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While marriage and orders are both sacraments of vocation, not everyone is called to them.

Some men and women are called to non-ordained religious life.

Some others remain single in the world.
 
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