Compassion toward the wife and toward the children. That means to offer to listen to your wife and then to listen for real. That means to offer to listen to your kids and then to listen for real. Listening is not something that happens on a monthly basis but on a daily basis and it takes more that 10 minutes.
That is true and appropriate to mention. But what does that look like, specifically?
YES!
Those are just personality traits. Some fathers are quiet and strong, others are more vocal and sensitive. Both can be good husbands/fathers.That is true and appropriate to mention. But what does that look like, specifically?
I think patience is an important virtue to have (for anybody, but for fathers/husbands especially). I don’t know why I say this…my father was always had a patience that made him seem strong inside. I can’t quite put my finger on it…
I’m a new husband and soon-to-be father, so I’m interested in other things I can work on too.
A woman–more than anything–wants to feel “safe” in a marriage. That means that you must be , as a godly man, justly and loyally devoted to her well-being. If she is unfairly undermined by others, undergoes hardships of any kind and you stand by her, defend her, regardless of how it affects you or even hurts you, this will mean more to her than all the flowers, words, and the many millions-of-times of taking out the trash and other chores there could ever be (not that those have no value; their just not the most important). Protect her when you can. Sympathize with her when she hurts. Let her know you “feel” with her all she is feeling. Being this kind of husband automatically spills over into being that same kind of father. When you and your wife are in harmony, expressing love and affection openly because of your good relationship, the kids, in turn, feel safe. That’s the greatest thing in my opinion.
I would recommend reading the book “The Resolution for Men” by Kendrick and Alcorn. This is exactly what they talk about in the book - being a man of God, being a man to your wife, and being a man to your children. The book was given to me as a gift. I’m in the middle of reading it now, and I would highly recommend it.
This is a very well balanced and thought-out answer. There’s good advice throughout this thread, but I was hoping to hear from some experienced men on this issue. Thank you!I’m a husband and father, my wife says I’m good at it but I’m not so sure.
What I would say is that you have to patience. Children can be very difficult and irrational and it is improtant to be very patient with them. That does not mean letting them behave poorly without discipline but also understand that it is normal. Having a wife also requires patience, men and women thing very differently on things and in the beginning it takes patience to adjust to that.
I think you have to be willing to sacrifice some of your wants and sometimes needs. There will be many times where the kids need something or perhaps the wife needs something an you will have to sacrifice something to meet their needs. Hopefully that notion isn’t a one way street.
I think you have to have the qualities of a good man before you can be a good husband or father. IMO, this means being strong not exclussively physical strength but strenght of character and conviction. You should aim to be a leader so that you can lead your family, not that the wife can’t lead sometimes (she often will) but as a man you are ultimately responsible for making sure the family is lead in a good Catholic way. You need to be a good example to others so that when you get married and have kids you understand how much your actions dictate the actions of your children. Act as you would like your future children to act. This may be a little old fashioned but I feel like a prime duty of a good man is to be the defender of the family and demand that the children (and anyone else) respects your wife.
Most of all of these points is learn to lead. This isn’t the same as dominating. A man who is a leader of his family , simply put , guides and shows his family the way. So it’s more leading like a scout who knows the territory guiding those through it who are in his charge and less like the type of leading that Castro does.
Of course every man should be based in strong faith.
Well, many learn to it as kids by playing sports or being in activities such as Boy Scouts and Squires…ect. Some people are natural leaders and some are not. I think if you are a single young man you can practice being a leader by trying to take larger roles in things you do. At work try to work your way into a position of leadership or volunteer for a temporary project when possible where you take a leadership role. If that is not possible you can become a Knight of Columbus, there are many opportunities to lead projects with the Knights and your fellow Knights will help you develop leadership by co-chairing events…ect. Otherwise find ways to take initiative on some sort of activity. Granted, these suggestions are not the same as leading a family but they can help you develop a base to work with.
I would think the first place to start would be to never put these words in a sentence
Also never use the phrase yadda yadda yadda. These things make a good father and husband
Let’s see…That looks like…That is true and appropriate to mention. But what does that look like, specifically?
I think patience is an important virtue to have (for anybody, but for fathers/husbands especially). I don’t know why I say this…my father was always had a patience that made him seem strong inside. I can’t quite put my finger on it…
I’m a new husband and soon-to-be father, so I’m interested in other things I can work on too.
My husband gets up every morning and makes coffee and washes the dishes. Boy, is it ever a huge help! He gets lots of hugs and kisses…