What makes a man a good husband/father?

[GraceDK]

… the book Wild At Heart by John Eldredge. The truth in this book is astounding and it’s coming from a Father and husband’s perspective which I can’t provide. ** It’s Christian rather than Catholic**, but I didn’t notice much inconsistency.

One other advice to everyone and their children. Do not sell out on the word Christian. I cannot believe how often I hear American Catholic Christians indicate, like in the above, that Catholics are not Christian. Thereby they are offending themselves and all other Catholic Christians.
If we are not Christians, then indeed lets stop being Catholics and turn Christian, because the early Christians were precisely called that, first and primary… named after our Lord Christ. Catholic was a later descriptive name but indeed its a horror if its not carried by a Christian… though we know the Church was truly Christian and Catholic from the beginning. Please American brothers and sisters. Dont let anyone fool you into believing that you are not a Christian or that this name does not belong to the Catholic Church members.

 

[constantconvert]

A good father spends time with his children, teaches them about God, prays with them, teaches them about how to get along in the world, means no whenhe says it, says yes as often as he can, listens

A good husband… Well to some extent that depends on your wife and her needs, wants, and personality.
For me that would mean:

saying hello and goodbye, tell her where you’re going and what your plans are
look around the house and do something instead of asking what needs to be done
ask “What can I do for you?”
say “Tell me about your day.” and then look at her when she does.
pray with her, take her to mass,
open the door for her, hold her hand, tell her you love her
find an activity that you both enjoy doing

 

[jmcrae]

I’m looking for things that I may need to concentrate on to continue to improve myself…Maybe there are some areas that I could improve that I haven’t even thought about. So, what makes everyone out there think that a man is a good husband and father? I’m looking for specific ideas, so if you say abstract things like ‘thoughtful, kind, loving, yadda yadda yadda…’ give a concrete example of what you are saying.

Thoughtfulness - comes home on time for dinner. Helps take care of his kids in the evenings, and doesn’t tell people that he is “babysitting,” as if they were someone else’s kids and he just randomly happens to live in the same house with them.

Kind - stays in control of his emotions, and is easy to talk to, even with uncomfortable subjects, or subjects that he might not be specifically interested in. (ie: his daughter can discuss her doll collection with him, without feeling “tuned out,” or he doesn’t suddenly change the subject on her.) Is actually interested, because of his love for her.

Loving - stay committed. It doesn’t matter what it takes. If it takes 110% of your effort, you are only just getting started. You’re “there” when you’ve stopped worrying about how much it’s taking out of you, but are amazed at what it’s making out of you - when you notice that you haven’t had any childish or selfish thoughts in weeks.

 

[timotheos]

I’m looking for things that I may need to concentrate on to continue to improve myself…Maybe there are some areas that I could improve that I haven’t even thought about. So, what makes everyone out there think that a man is a good husband and father? I’m looking for specific ideas, so if you say abstract things like ‘thoughtful, kind, loving, yadda yadda yadda…’ give a concrete example of what you are saying.

Anything you do must come from within, not from outside, or it will get old and you will not keep it going.

Explore for yourself the very basics, those things that most people take for granted. Ask yourself, do I truly love life? (not as easy to answer as you think) If so, ask yourself, why? Etc. etc. Reflections on questions like this become the source of genuine motivation to be a better husband and father, or may demonstrate to yourself why you may not be so great in some areas.

You cannot give what you do not have. Remember, you are in this for your whole life, and there is no cutting of corners.