What mishaps have you seen in church?

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Well the Mass I attend is by Benedictine monks. So mistakes are pretty few and far between. Our abbot relates that once when he was newly ordained, as he was blessing everyone with holy water the ball on the end of the holy water dispenser came off and bounded down the aisle. All the other monks found it hilarious but he was furious. He said to us when relating the story “I took myself far too seriously back then”.

Another time, the deacon chanted the gospel from the wrong year. The priest-monk giving the homily had to start his meticulously prepared homily with “in the Gospel we were supposed to hear this morning, Jesus said…”
 
at my school’s chapel, we have a really nice, old pipe organ.
Additionally, we have a prayer club that meets there every morning.
We have a really talented organist/pianist who goes to school at my school, and he has a key to the loft for him to practice.
One morning, prayer club is meeting, he goes into the choir loft, forgetting that we are there, and starts playing the Imperial March from star wars.
To say we were suprised is an understatement haha
 
A long time ago (but not in a Galaxy far, far away), pre-Vatican 2, many times a quiet, slow, respectful song would emanate from the Choir Loft organ. Most often it was a quiet “church song”. Sometimes, a different tune would emerge, all done in a “church song” style. I smiled to myself one Sunday as the “Davey Crockett” tune presented itself.
 
Nice 😁

A friend of mine wanted to have the Imperial March played at his wedding when they walked down the aisle. His wife would have none of it.
 
We had an organist who was suffering from bipolar disorder. He used to play “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” at the end of Mass as loud as the organ would play. People would look up into the choir loft in disbelief as they left. He interrupted a wedding rehearsal by spontaneously beginning a lecture on Musicology. The minister asked him to stop three times before he angrily stomped out.

We didn’t have him long. The deal breaker was when the parish decided to have Easter Masses in a local auditorium. The organist said he would not play unless the actual organ from church was dismantled and reconstructed in the auditorium. He said this as if it was a small matter. We never saw him again after this.
 
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I fainted during Mass too, as have others. What’s up with all these people fainting?
 
Hrm, I’m not surprised by that. I’ve been in some pretty hot church’s when seasons are changing.
 
Or when older people at Mass have an “event”. That’s happened several times. Fortunately the firestation/paramedics are in the same block, so help gets there in a minute or so.
 
I was in the eighth grade and back in those days we went to daily mass. I don’t know what I had to eat the day before, but the Mass couldn’t end fast enough, as I was developing this, as it turned out, uncontrollable intestinal gas.
 
Hope1960 said:
I fainted during Mass too, as have others. What’s up with all these people fainting?
Click to expand...
I’ve come very close to fainting several times and I used to see kids in my classes at school doing it regularly at school Masses.

If you do not eat a good breakfast, which happens a lot when you’re young and rushing around trying to get to a 7 am Mass before school starts, or you’re a teenage girl who is perpetually on a diet, and then you go get crowded into a stuffy church and in some cases you are standing through all or most of the Mass because it’s in a school gym with insufficient chairs, and you’re expected to be standing and kneeling and going through all the other gestures, you pass out. This also can happen to adults who do not eat before the fasting time begins for Mass.

Furthermore, there are times of the month when my iron level is low or I am otherwise kind of sick due to female cycles, and there are times during the year when the weather is very hot.
I had to excuse myself last summer from a Holy Hour Mass and stumble two blocks to a pizza joint and order a Coke because I felt myself starting to pass out just sitting in the pew. I was praying the entire way that I would not pass out on the street.

All this stuff is yet another reason why you will often find me carping on the threads about “Fasting’s So Great”. It’s not always so great, not after you’ve seen people pass out and bloody their noses, hit their heads, etc.

I really don’t think people who have not had this problem see it as a real problem. They think if you can’t breathe in the stuffy church or you are getting lightheaded from kneeling and getting up and down, you just need to “offer it up”.
 
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OK, I can’t stand it. I have to say something about those girls who want to serve during Mass, but insist on wearing polka dot headbands and fluorescent green socks.

I moved away from my home town for more than ten years. In my absence, I heard that the pastor of my native parish would bring his dog in church during Mass. (rim shot)

kids: yeah, I was there when some toddler ran up into the sanctuary and then into the sacristy. I didn’t notice anybody do anything about it right away, either.
 
kids again: Who can ever forget when they’ve seen a small kid walking up and back on a pew, then falls with a thud. You’re waiting for it…2…3…WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
 
Yes, it has happened. A priest had a massive heart attack during weekend mass. 55 years old. Something of a friend of a friend to me.

He was evacuated to a hospital by helicopter. The initial report was that he was recovering, but he died the next day.
 
Talitha712 said:
that circular tray thing (I’m sure it has a name I don’t know about)
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“patent”
michaelArc said:
A friend of mine wanted to have the Imperial March played at his wedding when they walked down the aisle. His wife would have none of it.
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my wife’s mother, even though raised in a part of Arizona where respectful wedding attire is your best jeans and a vest, wouldn’t let her wear western boots under her dress. I wore a new pair purchased for the occasion–and she changed into hers before the reception.

(A few years ago I scandalized the sales gal by buying the top of the line tux–and having the legs cuffed for boots, rather than eastern shoes. “You can’t do that! [drops head] OK, you can” 🙂 )

hawk
 
Some of you have some really crazy stories!
michaelArc said:
Hrm, I’m not surprised by that. I’ve been in some pretty hot church’s when seasons are changing.
Click to expand...
I almost fainted once in high school when I was at Mass in an unfamiliar church where the priest was visiting and no one knew where to turn on the air conditioner. I didn’t go with my family and was just glad that I recognized someone from my high school with his mother. His mom brought me to the back of church where I sat down on the floor next to a vent (the air finally turned on) and she went to get some lemonade. I just stayed there for the rest of Mass.
Tis_Bearself said:
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Hope1960:
I fainted during Mass too, as have others. What’s up with all these people fainting?
Click to expand...
I’ve come very close to fainting several times and I used to see kids in my classes at school doing it regularly at school Masses.

If you do not eat a good breakfast, which happens a lot when you’re young and rushing around trying to get to a 7 am Mass before school starts, or you’re a teenage girl who is perpetually on a diet, and then you go get crowded into a stuffy church and in some cases you are standing through all or most of the Mass because it’s in a school gym with insufficient chairs, and you’re expected to be standing and kneeling and going through all the other gestures, you pass out. This also can happen to adults who do not eat before the fasting time begins for Mass.

Furthermore, there are times of the month when my iron level is low or I am otherwise kind of sick due to female cycles, and there are times during the year when the weather is very hot.
I had to excuse myself last summer from a Holy Hour Mass and stumble two blocks to a pizza joint and order a Coke because I felt myself starting to pass out just sitting in the pew. I was praying the entire way that I would not pass out on the street.

All this stuff is yet another reason why you will often find me carping on the threads about “Fasting’s So Great”. It’s not always so great, not after you’ve seen people pass out and bloody their noses, hit their heads, etc.

I really don’t think people who have not had this problem see it as a real problem. They think if you can’t breathe in the stuffy church or you are getting lightheaded from kneeling and getting up and down, you just need to “offer it up”.
Click to expand...
I felt faint several times during Mass when I was in my first trimester. This was probably partly due to not drinking enough water a few times, but it did happen. Heading into third trimester soon, so we’ll see if it comes back. One kind usher got me a bottle of water when I sat down in the middle of Mass, my husband very concerned for me. It was in a church we didn’t normally attend, so I had no idea where the water fountains were.

Now I always try to drink enough water and eat something sometime before Mass (always trying to stay within the fasting rules) because feeling faint is really unsettling.
 
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