What mishaps have you seen in church?

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My OF parish has and uses bells.
Technically, no bells (belltower or liturgy chimes) should be rung from Holy Thursday to the Easter Vigil.

In the middle of the Holy Thursday liturgy, the thurifer kicks the bells almost 5 feet actoss the sanctuary… The other servers and I (charitably) have never let him forget that 😀😀😂😂😂
 
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My dad has a rule for his vicars (pastors in field experience) your first sermon as my vicar you will do it even if you are sick and need a bucket (most of the time it’s nerves). Because his first vicar after he was confirmed as senior pastor lost breakfast in the pulpit and never went back in the pulpit.
 
Our priest is unwell at the moment, and we’ve had a number of visiting priests celebrating Mass in his absence. For the last few weekends we’ve had a lovely retired priest (God bless him, he’s travelling a long way every weekend to help us) and this Sunday, he dutifully read out the Mass intentions.

He paused at ‘Sick of the Parish’. “I think that would be better-phrased as ‘Sick in the Parish’”, he said. Laughter ensued. 🙂
 
We were having trouble with the sound system at mass one Sunday. The First Lector came up to the Ambo. He started to read, but realized the microphone was broken. He yelled “This thing’s not working!” The people responded “Thanks be to God.”
 
I was an altar boy as a kid. We had to carry a very big crucifix and I accidentally tripped one of the other altar boys. It was my third week or so, I was mortified.
 
TheOldColonel said:
We were having trouble with the sound system at mass one Sunday. The First Lector came up to the Ambo. He started to read, but realized the microphone was broken. He yelled “This thing’s not working!” The people responded “Thanks be to God.”
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LOL!!!
 
It might not be a bad thing to offer prayers for those who are sick of the parish, we all get frustrated now and then 😁
 
OKComputer said:
I was an altar boy as a kid. We had to carry a very big crucifix and I accidentally tripped one of the other altar boys. It was my third week or so, I was mortified.
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When I became an altar boy, my father gave me a couple of his old bits to look at. One was a pamphlet (Little Johny Altar Boy?) which claimed that one boy hit another over the head with the Cross during the procession–and that they would both later be pope.

I’m skeptical, but . . .

hawk
 
dochawk said:
When I became an altar boy, my father gave me a couple of his old bits to look at. One was a pamphlet (Little Johny Altar Boy?) which claimed that one boy hit another over the head with the Cross during the procession–and that they would both later be pope.
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Yeah, I don’t believe it either. For the record, I don’t know what happened to the other guy, but he ain’t the Pope!
 
My mother tells this story from her childhood. They lived in a very small rural town where many of the children had never seen the diocesan Bishop. One year they scheduled a Confirmation Mass for the children of the whole district and their families and friends which was a massive occasion. When Mass began all the children filed up to the front pews followed by the Bishop in all his regalia including a very magnificent mitre. There was a pause after the hymn finished of complete silence and in that moment my uncle who was about 4 years old at the time with his big booming country boy voice yelled out. “Hats off in the house”. It apparently took a good while everyone to control their stifled amusement. 😃
 
OKComputer said:
Yeah, I don’t believe it either. For the record, I don’t know what happened to the other guy, but he ain’t the Pope!
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I suspect the “two Popes” story was some version of this one, where the two future Popes whack each other with candlesticks.

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DarkLight said:
We had a priest who once answered a phone call during his homily. Then after a few minutes he revealed it was staged, and segued into a point discussing appropriate behavior during Mass
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That’s ingenius, and probably divinely inspired.

I’m sure everyone will remember that homily.

I wish more Priests would think of ways to do stuff like that to make their homilies more memorable.
 
Similar thing happened here a few years back. We have the usual “silence your cell phones” announcement before Mass begins, but during the homily, someone’s phone rang. Father didn’t miss a beat and said “Oh, God’s calling me!” The subtle snark wasn’t lost on the congregation.
 
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