What should an entering freshman that was rejected by Notre Dame do if he feels isolated at a school he never wanted to attend do?

[Kit15]

My husband grew up in academia but didn’t get into any of the schools he wanted to be accepted into either (most of the people he considered friends were going on to high profile Ivy League schools) and it caused a bit of an inferiority complex. He spent all four years attending a “cheap state school” that is pretty well regarded in state but no one outside the state has heard of it or they commonly mistake it for the other state school with the bigger athletic program. He slogged all the way through to graduation, but still managed to graduate summa cum laude. THEN he failed to get into grad school with a good scholarship and the freakout *really *started.

Today he looks back and realizes that there was a lot of good going on in all of that. He’s got a great job (many of his friends are still students), he was able to marry me earlier than he would have had he gone off to grad school. He has no student loans to pay off, which he surely would have had if he went to one of his top choices. He does not look back on his college years with regret anymore.

Sometimes the hand we’re dealt is still a winning hand even if it seems like a lousy one. Don’t despair over yours. A lot of good may come out of this.

 

[IgnatiusDaughtr]

It’s also important to remember that many, many students (I might even go as far as to say all students) in college feel just as you are feeling at one time or another, especially at the beginning of Freshman year. You have just gone through a huge change, and everyone around you seems to be having the time of their lives (trust me, even those who seem the happiest have private doubts). Since you have doubts, you feel even more separated from those around you. Please realize that what you are feeling is the norm for college students, even those who go to the school of their dreams. Hang in there, get out and meet people with common interests (Newman club, campus ministry, pro-life groups, volunteering) and you will begin to feel better.

Also, don’t feel bad using the university counseling services. When I was in school more than 50% of the Freshman class went to at least 1 counseling session with the counseling department on campus to talk about the transition to college. That is why the professionals are there. Your RA, RD or a professor who you connect with can also be very helpful to talk to these feelings about.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

I just want to add something about what can happen when you get into a university of your choice. As I mentioned before, I did not go to university of my dreams for my undergraduate degree, but got into a top 10 university in the UK to do my masters and PhD. Sounds amazing, right? Wrong. If I could change something in my life I’d change this and not have done my degrees there. There were a number of reasons for that, which are not relevant to your situation, but the point I’d like to make is that you can have these grand ideas and dreams about a place and it turns out to be a very different story.

 

[Domer1997]

I agree with Julian 0404. Act like a man! In my lifetime I have known many men who have overcome disappointment to go on to even great things. In my fathers case, he never intended to immigrate to the US, but he did and became famous in his field during his lifetime. In my case, many years ago, I was turned down for admission to Yale for reasons that would be illegal today, and ended up going to a State University under the Korean GI Bill. By dilligent application, I was offered full felloships by several universities, including Yale, to do graduate work. You can imagine the pleasure I got from writing Yales Dean of Students who turned me down to turn down their offer.
What you must do is concentrate on your studies and get as much out of your courses as you can. Don’t study to get a passing grade, actually LEARN THE MATERIAL. the grades will take care of themselves. Then, after a year or two, finances permitting, you might look to transfer if that fits your plans.
Don’t kid yourself, Notre Dame today has not lived up to its reputation. Despite the fact it has a priest for a president, it is a disgrace as an institution of Catholic learning, permitting pro-choice and pro gay events on campus while discouraging public expression by those on campus who uphold church teachings on these subjects.
Believe me, you are better off where you are. I also suggest you seek out the Newman Club on your campus.

First off don’t listen to “George”. Notre Dame is very Catholic. The spirituality on campus is like none other. Over fifty chapels on campus…mass daily in almost all of them and confessions three times daily and oodles of Eucharistic Adoration and a multitude of pro-life organizations and professors. Now that I have said that, STUDY HARD! Visit Notre Dame regularly so you can see for yourself what your goal is! You can get in there if you WANT to. Make it happen my friend! God bless. I will pray for you! STUDY STUDY STUDY!!!

GO IRISH

 

[dixieagle]

Our older daughter WAS accepted by her “dream” school, which was also a highly competitive Catholic university. However, the school gives no “merit based” aid, only “need based” and they decided we didn’t have a need. Ha! We tried every way we could to come up with scenarios that would allow her to attend, as she had more than earned it as an excellent student and responsible young adult. But, she, herself, ultimately decided that, with a younger sibling coming along, the cost would have been prohibitive; she chose to attend her second choice, a large Midwestern state university.

It turned out to be an excellent choice, and a wonderful 4 years. She threw herself into activities including the Catholic Student Center, student government, the excellent opportunities to continue her ballet… She graduated with honors and a double major, and met her wonderful Catholic husband. While we had been initially disappointed at not being able to send her to her first choice, she could not have made more of the opportunities that did present themselves.

There is often a silver lining… Look for it.

 

[George_Stegmeir]

First off don’t listen to “George”. Notre Dame is very Catholic. The spirituality on campus is like none other. Over fifty chapels on campus…mass daily in almost all of them and confessions three times daily and oodles of Eucharistic Adoration and a multitude of pro-life organizations and professors. Now that I have said that, STUDY HARD! Visit Notre Dame regularly so you can see for yourself what your goal is! You can get in there if you WANT to. Make it happen my friend! God bless. I will pray for you! STUDY STUDY STUDY!!!

GO IRISH

If ND is so religious, why was it excoriated by several noted Catholic clergy and Bishops for awarding an honorary degree to a pro-abortion politician, in opposition to the policy set forth by the NA Council of Bishops?

 

[Domer1997]

If ND is so religious, why was it excoriated by several noted Catholic clergy and Bishops for awarding an honorary degree to a pro-abortion politician, in opposition to the policy set forth by the NA Council of Bishops?

This is not the topic at hand. Mistakes are made in all areas of the church…from parochial schools, to parishes, to ministry to the sick, and Catholic universities are not immune from the human failure. Notre Dame has made great strides and spent a large amount of resources on its pro-life causes since the Obama issue, including millions in adult stem cell research. So, it’s time to forgive, move on, and pray for continuous improvement from all areas of the Church. With that said, I am finished discussing ND’s Catholic character.

I pray the OP studies hard and gets into Notre Dame as a sophomore which is obviously his or her true wishes. The least we can do is pray with him/her that this happens. Good luck OP on your successes! I pray you get into ND next year. It is a wonderful and very spiritual place. GOD BLESS

 

[manualman]

Where you at? University of Illinois Champaign has a fantastic Newman Center and isn’t terribly far away. While the overall campus doesn’t have the catholic culture that ND might (I haven’t been), the Newman Center provides critical mass of a faithful catholic subculture within a larger (and sometimes hostile) secular culture that IMO might actually better prepare you for what life is like after college.